Chapter 10 - Lost Hope
The morning was cold. Colder than any that had visited the island in all thetime they'd endured. The exposed skin of the two lost souls sleeping in the jungle was sticky and chilled. Dew formed on the dense vegetation around them. Dusty woke with a shiver, and her heart was pounding. Her eyes snapped open, and she was greeted with a surprisingly beautiful sight that she had not expected. Instead of sitting against the tree as she was when she fell asleep, she was now lying on her side next to Sawyer. During the night, she must've slid down to him, and now her one arm was draped across him. He had his one hand intertwined with her fingers. She watched his chest rise and fall evenly for a moment. Thank God he's alive. A smile grew on her face as she realized just what a miracle it was. Dusty studied the side of his face. No wonder he's a jerk. She thought with a fond grin. He must know how gorgeous he is.
But the coldness of the morning suddenly bit her, and she realized what had woke her in the first place. She jerked upright and strained her ears to hear it again. Faintly, someone was calling her name. Through the fog of exhaustion that seemed to blanket her still, she distinctly heard Jack's strong voice.
She made to yell for them, but a squeaky whisper was all that came out. After practicing a few times before her raspy voice would carry far enough for them to hear, she called frantically back to them. Soon, they trampled quickly to her.
"Dusty, thank God you're okay!" Kate gushed immediately, taking her face in her hands as if to be sure she was real, and healthy.
"Yeah, I'm okay, but Sawyer's been hurt." Kate's eyes turned for the first time to Sawyer, who lie sleeping on the ground. His face was pale, and the leaves around his abdomen were stained scarlet, along with his hands and the bottom of his shirt. Kate looked in horror from Sawyer's bloody form to Dusty, who had just seen the scene in daylight for the first time and had turned her eyes to her own hands in shock, still red with his blood. Jack and Sayid carefully lifted Sawyer to carry him back. Dusty took a step to follow them as they made their way back to the beach, but her knee gave out. So Kate pulled her arm over her shoulders, and helped her.
Dusty silently thanked God for answering her prayers, as she leaned heavily on Kate for assistance walking back to camp. She thanked Him for keeping Sawyer alive and guiding her friends to her for rescue. She thanked Him for protecting them in the jungle, and before she knew it, she'd thanked Him for everything.
"Boone?" She began timidly.
"Oh, hey Shan, what's up?"
"Oh, nothing… Can I help you with that?" She reached for the pole he was erecting to construct a laundry line. He resisted, insisting he did not need her help, but she also insisted on offering her assistance, but in doing so, only kicked the pole from its hole in the ground.
"Shan!" Boone exclaimed, as the pole and all the rope toppled over into a heap on the sand. Shannon clapped a hand to her mouth. "Look what you did!"
The surprise on her face turned to anger. "What I did? I was just trying to help!"
"Well I don't want your help. I was better off without you."
"Boone, you have to stop blaming me for accidents." She said calmly, obviously working hard to keep her temper in check.
"It's kind of hard, when they're always your fault." He countered, stooping to pick the pole back up.
"Can't you give me just a tiny ounce of credit? I had good intentions!"
"That's not enough." He growled in her face, turning to undo the damage she caused. She clenched her jaw for a moment.
"Well what do you want from me?" The distraught blonde asked in frustration.
"I don't know, maybe some indication that you're capable of feeling human emotion. Like regret. Or, what would be really great, is some consideration here and there."
"Some indication…" She trailed off contemptuously, "Well, how about this- I love you." She stated sternly, suddenly. He just looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, you heard me. You're my brother. And no matter how far we drift apart, you'll always be my brother. That's more special than anything. So when you're ready to see how much I've changed, when you finally decide to forgive me for the stupid things that I've done in the past, I'll be here."
She smiled as she walked away from him. Satisfied that she finally said what she wanted to say to her brother, perfectly.
"Shannon!" Boone called, and though she couldn't see it, he reached out, as if to catch her before she slipped away from him.
She paused and pivoted on her heel to face him.
He looked at the ground a moment, trying to find words or courage, or both before finally looking up to her. "Okay."
The only reason Dusty consented to be cleaned and fed, was that she was too much in shock. But her senses returned after nourishment, and she refused to rest, though it was the one thing she knew she direly needed. But she also knew she could not rest easily before knowing if Sawyer would be okay. So, when Kate left her side and commanded her to lie down, she snuck from the tent she was in to Sawyer's, where Jack and Kate stood over him.
"Dusty, I told you to rest!"
"How is he?" Dusty asked Jack, completely ignoring Kate's exclamation. Jack had cleaned Sawyer's wound and was examining it.
"You cauterized it." He said, somewhat amazed, as he looked from the wound to Dusty, who hugged herself with her arms, eyebrows stitched in concern, face haggard from lack of sleep and worry. She nodded weakly.
"I had to. He would've bled to death."
"Where did you learn that?"
"T.V." She smiled weakly. Jack chuckled.
"I'm sure Sawyer would be pleased to know that."
"Ow! Know what?" Sawyer asked disgruntled, as Jack's prodding his wound woke him.
"Never mind. How do you feel?" Jack asked, returning quickly to his doctorly way.
"Like a shish kabob." Sawyer replied dryly, laying his head back onto the pillow with a groan. Those around him smiled in relief to themselves, knowing he'd be just fine.
"You probably saved his life." Jack commented to Dusty, as he finished wrapping up Sawyer's latest wound. Dusty grinned.
"You hear that, Sawyer? I'm not taking any more of your shit, I saved your life."
"Yeah, but you choose to forget you're the one who nearly got me killed in the first place." He replied scathingly.
"I didn't ask you to come after me." snapped Dusty, annoyed. Sawyer opened his mouth to retort, but Jack's voice interrupted instead.
"Okay, let's not get into this. Sawyer needs to rest now. And so do you, Dusty." Jack intervened, and ushered the girls from the tent, gave Sawyer some medication, and left him alone to sleep. Dusty and Kate waited for him.
"So why were you two out in the jungle at night, anyway?" Kate asked, not meaning to sound so eager and accusatory. Jack looked at Kate quickly, catching the suspicion in her voice. Dusty sighed.
"I went in to find some peace and quiet, and Sawyer came after me because he knew there was something out there. We heard it, and ran. Sawyer tripped over a log and fell onto a sharp stick. You know the rest."
"You shouldn't go into the jungle alone. Especially after dark." Jack chastised.
"I know." Dusty replied solemnly, not willing to admit her state of desperation when she had run out into the jungle.
She finally agreed to rest, and slept the longest and soundest that she'd slept in weeks. Thanks to the happenings of the past day, weeks, and a few pills Jack gave her to calm her nerves. She thought about Locke's previous words as the drugs began to take effect. About people knowing what they were talking about. She decided Jack was one of those people. But as for things happening for a reason, well, she was still trying to wrap her mind around that one.Things weren't clear yet, but they were clearer than before. She was close, and she knewit would come. She had a feeling that in time, the answers would come.
"I told you I was worried about Dusty. But no…" Kate poked as she came up to him from behind as he sat by a small fire.
"Don't even start." He warned playfully.
"Sorry. All's well that ends well. Sawyer's gonna be fine, and Dusty…well, we'll deal with her one day at a time."
"It's pointless, Kate." Jack said wearily. He looked to her. Kate didn't like the darkness she saw there, and the despair that was so evident in his voice.
"What is?" She asked warily.
"This. What I'm doing. People are so predictable. And they don't change. I bandage them up, tell them not to do that anymore, and they just find a way to get hurt again. I'm not cut out for this leader business. They don't listen to me. They know there's a thing out there, and they don't seem to care what it can do to them."
"Jack, if this is about Dusty-"
"I don't know why I bother worrying. Because I'm not helping them anyway. We're hopeless, Kate. That's what it all comes down to."
Kate looked at him a moment in disbelief before speaking calmly and demandingly. "When you've lost all hope, you can borrow some from me! Just don't give up. Because once you give up, we really are lost."
Jack considered her. The fire and passion she held extended beyond the boundaries of her body. When she was looking into his eyes, he always felt so instilled with confidence. "Wasn't I the one giving you this speech not too long ago?" He smiled humorlessly. "How can you believe so much?"
"How can I not with you here? If we had any chance of surviving, I mean really making a life on this island, it's because of you."
A genuine smile graced his lips, this time. "Thanks, Kate." He said, and put his wrist on her knee, with his palm open. She set her hand in his and smiled back.
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. - J.R.R. Tolkein
Sorry I lied about saying I'd update last week. I'm ashamed. There's no excuse for ignoring you guys. But I'll be better now, I promise. SPRING BREAK!
A Wandering Minstrel - Oh thank you so much! That word was torturing me for days. I was trying to find the right word. Sauterize, sauter, cauter… I didn't know! Cauterize. I knew it was something like that. Well, I was kind of close. Thank you for pointing that out, for my peace of mind. I hate it when I can't think of a word, it just drives me nuts. Whew. I feel so much better now. Oh and thanks for the great review, too!
Freckles-101 - You know Sawyer. He's like a cockroach, he survives everything. Lol.
Nicole - Thanks, that's such a compliment to say that. I'll be updating more frequently now, I promise.
Orlando's Hot Chick - haha I hope I updated quick enough to escape being number one on the hit list. Don't worry, I'd never kill Sawyer. I love him too much.
Dusty Fan - lol, still loving the name. Thanks a lot for your review! I try really hard to make everything seem real, I'm glad I'm doing a good job at it! It'll be hard to write chapters after that last one that everyone loved so much.
Austin B.