A/N: I'm back! Work has been mental lately, I'm so sorry! Thanks so much to the 11 people who reviewed the last chapter – I'm up to 50 reviews now! (Somewhat of a record for me, lol!) Hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!
Mel xx
10: Coping
Lily slowly opened her eyes, heavy from lack of sleep and puffy from crying, blinked a few times and glanced around her feeling slightly disorientated. It took a few more seconds to realise that she was still in the drawing room and slightly longer to realise that her comfortable pillow was breathing. She shifted slightly and looked up to see that James was fast asleep but still maintained an uncommonly firm grip on her. She sighed almost inaudibly and buried her face into James's chest, trying to forget about why they were there in the first place.
Lily lifted her head again when she felt James move slightly and watched him groan slightly as he rubbed his eyes with one hand and then move to massage his neck.
"Sorry." Lily said quietly.
"What?" Said James, confusion etched across his features, "What are you sorry about?"
"Well everything I suppose … last night … being such a girl … and you've hurt your neck because I fell asleep on you. I just – I'm sorry."
"Don't be ridiculous, Lily." He replied, immediately dismissing the matter, "You know I don't mind."
With that he put his other arm around her and drew her in close, holding her in a protective embrace. She smiled slightly in spite of her mood and tucked herself up so that she was resting comfortably against him.
"Lily?"
"Mmm?"
James paused for a moment before continuing, "Don't kill me for mentioning this – but what are you going to do about your sister?"
Petunia. "Oh, no." Moaned Lily.
She pulled away from James slightly to gauge the seriousness in his face – he was frowning.
"I need to talk to her: I need to… tell her…" She trailed off and James squeezed her hand comfortingly.
"She's going to be so mad that I haven't been to see her these past two weeks…"
"I thought you wrote to her?"
Lily bit her lip, "I did, a few times … but I don't know if she even read the letters …"
James looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again, "Do you want me to come with you when you go to see her?"
Lily hesitated for a second then shook her head, "No. No, it's okay… it's probably better if I speak to her alone."
"Sure?"
"Yes, James," She smiled slightly, "But thanks for the offer."
She glanced at his face to find that he was watching her closely, a small frown etched between his eyebrows and sympathy reflected in his eyes.
"Things will get better, Lily." He said softly.
Lily sighed and leant against him again, "I hope so, James. I hope so …"
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Lily stood in front of her quiet house for a moment, taking a few calming breaths before she inserted her key into the lock and turned it, stepping cautiously into the deserted hallway.
"Petunia?" She called out hesitantly. When she received no answer she headed into the kitchen and called out again; "Petunia, are you here?"
This time she heard a distant thump and Lily held her breath as her sister stormed down the stairs.
"You've got some nerve." Said Petunia as she stopped in front of Lily, her face contorting angrily.
"Did you get my letters?" Asked Lily, ignoring her.
"Yes." Said Petunia shortly, "But couldn't you have used some other method of communication?"
Lily shrugged.
"Well?" Her sister snapped.
"Well what?"
"Do you have something to say? There must be a reason you came back from your boyfriend's house."
"James isn't my boyfriend!"
"Whatever, Lily. Just tell me what you came here to say."
Lily froze suddenly, for a moment she had almost forgotten her purpose. She hesitated before speaking again.
"It's not good news." She said slowly, and mentally berated herself for her wavering voice. Petunia's eyebrow's furrowed but she didn't speak, wordlessly inviting Lily to continue. "It's dad …" She swallowed, "He – he – he … didn't make it." She finished lamely, unable to bring herself to use the 'd' word.
There was a silence between the sisters for a moment, while Lily watched Petunia process the news, her face turning ashen white.
"Are you … serious?" Petunia asked her in a whisper.
Lily nodded, her throat too tight to speak as Petunia's shock suddenly turned to anger.
"You did this." She whispered, her voice now laced with venom, "This is all your fault … you killed dad!" She finally screeched.
Lily jumped and furiously shook her head, "It's not – not my fault." She choked out, recalling James's words from only a few days ago.
"Yes, it is, you freak!" Petunia yelled, advancing on Lily. "You and your freakish ways and those freakish people from your world. They did this to dad – and it's all your fault!"
Lily took a step backwards and felt a tear fall despite her determination not to cry in front of her sister, "Petunia … please…"
"Just get out, Lily." Said Petunia in disgust, "Go back to your boyfriend."
"He's not –"
"Get out!" She shouted.
Lily threw another desperate look at Petunia before fleeing the house, tears now falling freely down her face.
She took another backwards look at her house before stumbling down the road, heading for the park where James had insisted he meet her.
As she walked into the park she located James quickly, he was perched on a bench watching some boys play football on the other side of the grass. He turned his head as she approached him and stood up when she reached him, allowing her to fall into his arms sobbing.
"Hey," James whispered, "Calm down. What happened?"
He sat down again, pulling Lily with him as she sniffled, trying to curb her sobs.
"Shh." He whispered and stroked her hair for a moment trying to calm her down, before pushing her away gently, "Talk to me, Lily."
"Oh James," She said, croaking slightly, "It is my fault, Petunia's right. Dad's not here anymore because of me." With that she began sobbing again, trying to hide behind her hands.
"Lily." Said James firmly, "Lily," He repeated and took her hands away from her face, holding them gently in his own, "Remember what we talked about the other day?"
Lily sniffed and nodded, "But –"
"No. It isn't your fault, Lily. You can't blame yourself."
"Petunia –"
"Is upset." James finished firmly, "And wants to lay blame, but she shouldn't have lain it with you."
Lily took in a deep breath as she calmed down slowly, "You think?" She whispered.
"I know." James corrected, "So I don't want to here any of this talk again – okay?"
Lily laughed slightly at James's stern face and smiled through her tears, "Okay."
James smiled back at her, "Good." He squeezed her hands briefly before letting them go and turned his attention back to the football game, "Now, do you think you can explain this game to me?"
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Lily tore down the stairs at the Potter manor with a piece of parchment clutched tightly in her fist. She grunted with impatience as her long hair broke free of its lose pony tail but didn't stop to correct it, instead letting it fly out behind her like a scarlet banner. She paused for a moment at the foot of the stairs, listening hard before racing off again towards the games room where she could hear the distinct sounds of laughter. She skidded to a stop just outside the door and pushed it open, gasping slightly to get her breath back.
James and Sirius looked up at her with identical bemused expressions on each of their faces as they took in her slightly dishevelled appearance.
"Are you alright, Lily?" Asked James, frowning slightly but his tone suggesting he was more amused than concerned.
"Yes," She replied before promptly beaming at them and waving the piece of parchment around, "My mum's woken up!"
"That's great!" Said Sirius, grinning back as he and James got to their feet.
He then proceeded to grab her in a bear hug causing her to squeal out of surprise and then giggle as she swatted him off. James watched in amusement until Sirius released her before walking over and giving her a quick hug of his own, squeezing her tightly for a moment before letting her go.
"Right then," Said James, "Looks like we're going into London."
Lily shook her head slightly, "It's alright – you don't have to come with me."
"James and I have a few things to get, don't we?" Said Sirius, looking sideways at James and winking.
James grinned back at him and Lily rolled her eyes.
"So anyway," Said James hastily, having caught Lily's eye roll, "We'll walk in with you then meet you at the hospital after a couple of hours?"
"Okay then." Lily replied shrugging, "If you insist."
"Oh but we do." Said Sirius, linking arms with her and smiling lopsidedly down at her.
"Without argument." James added from her other side as he also linked arms with her.
Lily giggled slightly and both boys grinned, steering her out of the house.
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Lily ascended the stairs in St Mungo's, her heart beating fast out of anticipation, the euphoria at having just found out that her mum had awoken masking the depression that had been settling over her heart the last few days.
She reached her mum's door and, with her heart in her throat, pushed it open and slipped inside to be greeted by an excited exclamation of her name from the woman sat half propped up in the bed in front of her.
Lily beamed and threw herself at her mother, catching her in a hug so tight she was almost in danger of cutting off her mum's air supply.
"Oh, mum, I'm so glad you're awake." Said Lily into her mum's shoulder, "I mean, the healer told me you were but I couldn't quite believe it until I saw you…" She cut herself off realising she had been rambling, and leaned back to observe her more carefully.
Her mum smiled, "The doctors told me you've been coming every day."
Lily nodded, deciding not to explain that they were healers not doctors, "How are you feeling, mum?" She asked anxiously.
"Oh … alright, you know. Bit tired … I'm quite drained."
Lily bit her lip, did she know about dad? She thought, then quickly deciding that she didn't want to bring that topic up just yet she changed tack, "Mum … did you see who did this to you?"
Her mother frowned slightly, "No, and it's most frustrating you know – the attack came from behind … I've already told this to those men who came in just before you got here."
"What men?"
"Oh, some sort of police, I think, but you know," She lowered her voice slightly as if it were a secret, "Magical ones."
Lily smiled at her mother's fascination with the wizarding world, "They're called aurors, mum, and they'll catch who did this – they're very good."
There was a slight pause while Lily's mother contemplated this,
"So, have you been alright at home on your own?"
"Oh, erm … I've actually been staying with a friend. Petunia's house sitting."
"Have you really? I thought all your friends were on holiday?"
"Oh yeah, well, this is another friend." Answered Lily lamely.
There was another silence and from the look on her mum's face, Lily knew what she was thinking but she just felt that she had to check.
"Mum," She said tentatively, "You have - have been told haven't you?"
Their eyes locked and Lily knew that her mother understood her. She nodded, "Come here." And Lily fell into her mother's comforting embrace, screwing her face up to prevent the tears from falling again.
They sat like that for quite a while in a comfortable silence, Lily leaning up against her mum, trying to gain a silent reassurance that everything was going to be alright.
After a while they began to talk again, and it was much later in the afternoon when there came a knock on the door and a friendly faced healer poked her head through.
"Excuse me," She said, "But, Lily, there's a young man out here asking for you."
Lily's eyes widened and she glanced at her watch, "Oops." She said, more to herself than anything, "I'll be right back, mum."
"Okay, love." Her mum replied, looking slightly amused.
Lily stepped outside and found James waiting for her.
"Oh, James, I'm so sorry, I didn't notice the time!"
James smiled, "It's okay."
"Where's Sirius?" She asked, looking around.
He was smirking now, "Downstairs, chatting up one of the receptionists."
Lily laughed slightly and shook her head, "Do you want to come in and meet my mum?" She asked, "She won't bite." She added when she caught sight of his hesitation.
"Alright then." He replied and Lily led him back into the room.
"Mum, this is my friend, James – who I've been staying with." She introduced, gesturing to James.
He stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek, "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Evans."
"You too, James."
Lily smiled slightly at James's manners; she had never known he had been brought up so well …
"Well, Lily, we'd better go before Sirius wreaks havoc on the whole hospital." James said turning to Lily, then upon noticing Lily's mother's puzzled expression, elaborated, "Sirius is my best mate, I left him downstairs in reception but he has quite a knack for causing trouble."
Lily snorted at James's innocent expression and hastily turned it into a cough, earning herself a raised eyebrow from her mother.
"I'll come back tomorrow, mum." She said hastily, kissing her on the cheek.
"Alright, love. Nice to meet you again, James."
James inclined his head slightly, "And you, Mrs Evans."
"Oi, you." Said James as soon as they had shut the door behind them, "What was that snort of laughter for in there?"
Lily grinned, "Just amused me how you kept a straight face while talking about Sirius being a trouble maker – seeing as how you're usually involved in all the trouble making with him."
"Well. What can I say …"
Lily laughed again and looped her arm through his as they descended the stairs, "Charmer."
"My parent's brought me up that way." Replied James slightly defensively.
"I'm only joking, James." She said as they reached the ground floor and began scanning for Sirius, "I think it's quite sweet, actually."
James grinned down at her before spotting his friend, "Oi, Sirius!" He yelled across reception, Lily rubbed her ear, wincing. Sirius spotted them instantly and waved before bounding over.
"Hey guys. How's it going?"
"Lily thinks I'm sweet." Said James triumphantly.
Sirius laughed, "I think we'll have to keep an eye on you, James."
"I didn't say that!" Protested Lily, "I just said that I thought the way you acted …"
"Quit while you're ahead," James whispered in her ear, "You know I'm sweet."
James's breath on her ear made her shiver slightly and she felt herself blush much to her annoyance. "Whatever, James." She said lightly, trying to brush it off.
James merely smiled ahead of him as they walked out of the hospital, but Lily couldn't help but think that it was rather a triumphant smile.
