Sometimes who we are isn't who we want to be. I know that's for sure. I"d give anything to belong. Anything but my pride. That's the one thing I've held onto all these years, I"m not going to bow unless I have to. The can yell insults at me. Kick me, push me down. I'll receive it, because I have too, but I won't accept it. Never. I'll be the kid that's only there, the kid that's only wanted because of status. The kid that's their punching bag when their mad, their victim when they let loose. But I won't be their slave. I've still got my pride. And I'm not letting it go, I won't let it slip away.
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"Namine, get your lazy butt down here now!"
"I'm comin', Ma'!" Namine yelled, throwing back her covers and grabbing a hair tye to pull back her hair. "I'm comin', hold on one second."
"I said now!" The persistent woman yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm hurryin', really!" Namine yelled, throwing on some clothes, grabbing her cheerleading suite and her purse and running to the bathroom. She jammed her toothbrush that she had smothered in toothpast into her mouth and hurriedly got to putting on her make-up.
"If I have to call you one more time Namine, it won't be good for you!"
Namine spit out the past, turned off the water, and ran down the stairs right into her mom. Her mother shrieked and threw her off of her sending Namine crashing into the wall.
"What the hell do you think your doin'?"
"Comin' down them stairs Ma." Namine whispered, forgetting to hide her accent.
"And why are you up so early?" Her mother asked, looking confused.
"Caus' you said so, Ma." Namine answered, holding her hand. It was probably fractured, again.
"It's Mother, Namine. Mother. Why you calling me Ma?" Her Mother asked quietly, almost kindly. She was always kinder as 'Mother'.
"'Caus'...that's what I've always called yah'?" Namine asked. Oh great.
"Namine, get on to school..."
"But it's 5:30 Ma'."
"You call me Mother! I'm not called Ma'!" The woman yelled, tears starting to form on her face.
"It's 5:30...Mother."
"Namine...why are you calling me Mother?" The woman said looking at the tears and frowning. She then looked at Namine with a scowl on her face.
"..." Namine groaned softly and looked out the window. It was happening again.
"Answer me!"
"I don't know Ma'."
"Good riddance, what a god forsaken daughter I have...get to school. Now."
"But..."
"I said get!"
"Yes Ma..." Namine whispered, grabbing her bag and stuffing her uniform in it.
"Hold on..."
"Yes Ma."
"I'm about sick of all this cheerleading crap. You're done with it, turn in the uniform."
"But Ma! Please, I love being a cheerleader!" No I don't, its just a protection...
"Well I don't care, get rid of it. You'd have to anyway...we're movin' out."
"What?!"
"You heard me, we're movin'. Went gamblin' the other day...guess I gambled a bit too much. Harold is kickin' us out."
"But Ma...you two were s'posed to get married..."
"Well we aren't."
"You always ruin everything Ma' always...why can't you just stop! We're livin' in Bastion Hills for godsake! You didn't have to gamble, Harold gave us everythin' we wanted!"
"Look, we're leavin' tonight, I'm done with Harold."
"Where we gonna go then Ma...? Live on the streets again? Try to find Dad? Beg Grandma again...? What are we gonna do?"
"Shut the hell up with that sarcasm, Namine!" Namine's mother screamed, slapping Namine hard across the face.
"No, I'm not shuttin' up 'til you tell me where we gonna go!" Namine yelled, forgetting all about her harsh accent.
"I don't know...all I know is we're leaving. We're gonna sell all your clothes for money. You're gonna get a job. So am I."
"Ma...I have a reputation at school..."
"Who the hell cares about your reputation?!"
"I do!"
"Well I don't. I'm your mother and I make the rules."
"Ma...?"
"Mother Namine, It's mother."
"Ma, listen to me!"
"It's Mother! Don't you get it?!"
"Ma you need help, you need to see someone!"
"I'm not seeing anyone Namine. Don't call me Ma, again."
"...Mother...I'm gonna tell someone about you, you need help."
"Namine, It's Ma!"
"...Ma...?"
"Why are you calling me that?!"
"Nothin'...sorry, I'm gonna go now..."
"Not with those clothes on you aren't, change em' then you go." Namines mother said, looking at her nails.
"But Ma!"
"I said now you little turd!"
Namine said defeatedly and ran up to her room. Grabbing the wornest outfit she could find, she ran back downstairs ignoring her mother's calls and ran out the door.
She needed to be alone. Her world as she knew it for the past two years was coming to an end. Her mom had just lost another boyfriend. They were being kicked out of the home she thought was too good to be true. She wasn't a cheerleader. All of her new clothes her Mother was going to sell, and she had to get a job which would probably cause her to drop out of school. She had it nice for a little while, but she knew that her past would always come to haunt her. It always did.
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"Ya Man...?"
"What?"
"Check it."
"Holy crap..." Riku whistled looking towards the figure his best friend was pointing too.
"Richest girl in school havin' some financial issues, yah?"
Riku didn't answer him and squinted his eyes to make sure he was seeing right. Yep, it was Namine. Wearing normal clothes. No, not normal...worn clothes. She was walking towards the table she usually sat at with her cheerleading squad.
"Watcha thinks goin' on?" Wakka asked, looking over at his shocked friend.
"Dunno..." Riku answered watching the scene. Namine was handing over her cheerleading outfit and the girls at the table suddenly started smirking and whispering. Namine had her head bent in an emotion known as...shame?!
"...she's quittin' cheerleading, yah?"
"Stop stating the obvious, Wakka." Riku muttered. His chance with Namine just went down the drain. If she wasn't a cheerleader, he couldn't date her. His rep would be on the line. Plus it looked as if she were having financial issues, another aspect that would put his rep on the line. Nope, he was done with her.
"...dude, ya gonna risk it, eh?" Wakka asked, watching Namine approach their table.
"Heck no."
"Hey...um, Riku...can I talk to you for a second?" Namine asked shyly blushing in shame.
"Um..I think not."
"Please...it's important."
"Why are you being so...humble?" Riku prodded, smirking evilly.
"...Riku please not now...I...just hear me out."
"...Mmm, probably coming here to ask me for that money you lended me to fix the dent in my dad's car back, huh? Is it because you and your mom got kicked out huh?"
"Riku..that's not-"
"Oh I saw it all, your freaky bipolar mother got you two kicked out, huh? Now you're dirt poor."
"Riku...why are you being so mean to me...?"
"Look...if you thought we had something...you are dead wrong." Riku stated smirking. He was catching the attention of half of the cafeteria, and the snickers and smirks were growing. Oh he loved humiliating people.
"Ok...ok then...I'm gonna leave you 'lone."
"Awww, is the accent comin' back to ya?" Riku mocked, mimicking her accent. The cafeteria cackled loudly. All of Namine's friends turning against her.
"...I'm gonna see you later now...bye." Namine whispered, grabbing her bag and running to the exit of the cafeteria. Everyone inside the cafeteria, those who expressed it, and those who hid it, were secretly glad of Namine's humiliation. That is except one individual. One individual who had never experienced Namine's wrath. One individual who'd only seen her once since starting the school. Roxas frowned sadly while watching the pretty blond girl run out the room. All of his new made friends however laughed and joked about how awesome the previous events had been. Roxas however excused himself from the group and also exited the cafeteria. He knew how it felt. And he had always wanted someone to follow him, to make sure everything thing was ok, and to tell him it was alright to mess up and reap what you sowed. Yeah, he knew how it felt.
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"Hey, wait up!"
Namine turned around and looked at the blond haired boy approaching her warily.
"Hey...what happened back there?" Roxas asked the pretty blond girl.
"You saw it, I got bashed...I don't blame em'"
"...Well I do, that was uncalled for."
"It was due."
"Why...?"
"Look, why are talkin' to me...and who are you...?"
"Oh uh...my names' Roxas, I'm new here."
"Hi...I'm Namine..."
"Nice to meet you."
"Um...yeah...I'll see ya' later..."
"Hey...are you ok?"
"...yes...no...actually, but that ain't your problem."
"I'm sorry...about them."
"Why?"
"I don't know...cause I guess I know how you feel..."
"No you don't...I was a bitch towards them...I deserve it."
"Well...at least you're trying to change."
"I guess...hey...what'd you say your name was again?"
"Roxas. Roxas Donaven."
"Roxas...It's...nice to meet you too." Namine said giving a small smile and turning away.
"Hey um...I'll see you around, ok?"
Namine turned nodded softly, and walked down the hall towards her next class. Why didn't he hate her? Want to mock her and laugh? She definitely deserved it. She had been so blind. He was weird that boy. A good kind of weird, she decided.
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"Ok listen up, remember you tried out for the cheerleading squad a couple of months ago, freshman."
"Yeah?"
"Well...since Namine's out, you're in."
"OHMYGOD!" Selphie screamed jumping up and hugging the cheerleading captain.
"Yeah yeah, get off me. Practice is at four everyday, be there or you're out."
"I will, I promise. You have my word. You're amazing you know that? You're awesome-"
"Heh...I know I am aren't I." The cheerleader said leading her squad away from the hyper brunette.
"Oh.My.God." Selphie gasped, falling into her seat.
"Congrats." Kairi said trying to be happy for her friend.
"Thanks Kai!...wait, this sucks..." Selphie said looking guilty.
"No, really Selphie. I have no skills in athletics, seriously. And you've been here longer than I have so it's only fair."
"Oh, ok then." Selphie said smiling. Kairi frowned. She was hoping she'd be a little more sympathetic.
"Yeah...so..." Kairi said trying to change the subject. Selphie however didn't get the hint.
"This is going to be amazing Kai! You know how many guys will ask me out?! I'm going to be popular! I'll get to sit with the cheerleaders and go to all of their events and everything and I'm going to make so many new friends and finally not be a dork and...gosh, it's going to be so awesome!"
"That's...great." Kairi whispered feeling hurt.
"I know it is, I'm going to be so amazing!"
"Yeah...well, don't forget me when you become so amazing."
"Oh I won't, I'll call you once in awhile." Selphie said, not realizing the effect of her words.
"K, so I'm gonna see you later, okay?"
"Yeah, bye." Selphie said not even looking at her, she was busy ogling the jocks at the other table. She was going to get to date one of them! Maybe even Riku!
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"...Hey Riku...?"
"What Wakka?" Riku asked lazily, while absentmindedly drawing over his test paper. The teacher had left the room for one of his usual 30 minute breaks and the class was taking the time to either talk or cheat on the test.
"Guess who filled in Namine's spot, yah?"
"...Who?" Riku said looking up curiously.
"That Selphie girl, isn't that crazy, yah?"
"What is this world coming to..." Riku mumbled going back to his drawing.
"...Something good man."
"Whatdoya mean?"
"I mean ask her out, instead of Namine to that dance."
"What the hell are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking it would mess that little Kairi girl up...badly."
"Wait a second...you're right." Riku said smiling evily.
"You gotta be sneaky though...they talk to each other."
"Pft, me? Not sneaky? Yeah right." Riku mumbled, his brain running through ideas. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Hey, Wakka wasn't as dumb as he looked.
"So...watcha gonna do, yah?"
"You'll see my friend...I'm not about to explain it here. People could hear."
"Oh...yah."
"You have Selphie's number by any chance?"
"Yah, don't know why though..."
"Perfect, give it to me. I need it."
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Kairi tried not to cry. She really did; but she couldn't help it. She thought it was too good to be true, and it was. Maybe she was kidding. Maybe. Kairi prayed so. As she pulled out her notebook she noticed that she still had Sora's black sketchbook. She was instantly tempted once again to look under the cover of the book. "He wouldn't know...I wouldn't say anything about." She thought, sniffling back her tears. This was something to get her mind off of the sad predicament she was in. Kairi gave into her temptation and opened the book to a random page. What she saw startled her. It was a picture of a boy, a very familiar boy, he was obviously dead...blood pooling around him. Kairi thought hard about where she had seen this boy. Then it came to her in a rush. Roxas. Kairi noticed tear drops on the picture and she could barely make out a few words that were faded and were obviously erased. She made out the words 'You're' and 'Dead'. Kairi quickly closed the book and placed it back into her bag. She wasn't even going to think about that picture.
Before Kairi knew it the bell rang and school was over. She quickly grabbed her bag and made her way down the hallway, looking for Sora. It was easy enough to spot him as he was the only one wearing all black.
"Hey..." Kairi said approaching the boy.
"Hey..."
"I didn't get to talk to you in class because of the lecture...I just wanted to give you this, you left it yesterday."
Sora heart fell to his feet. Oh. God. No. He hadn't even checked to see if he had it with him. He had two sketchbooks and wrote in both of them equally. If Kairi had looked at the images, which he knew she did, she would figure out. She'd figure out about it all. "...thanks...I forgot about that..." He whispered, taking the book from the girl. Their hands touched for a second and Kairi blushed beet red. Sora only shrugged and grabbed his bag from his locker.
"You're welcome..." Kairi answered, as they began walking towards the school exit.
"So...what did you think of them?"
"Of what?" Kairi asked worridly.
"My drawings..." Sora answered quietly.
"Uh...I didn't...well..."
"It's ok if you looked at them...I should have been more careful."
"...I'm sorry...I only saw two."
"Which ones?" Sora asked pulling out the keys to his...or Riku's car.
"Well...the one with you...and Riku and his parents I guess."
"So you know..."
"I sort of guessed."
"Good. I need you to keep a secret for me." Sora said stopping and pulling her arm so they were behind a bush outside of school.
"...what secret?" Kairi asked, blushing again at the contact. Sora was surprisingly warm to the touch, not cold as she had imagined.
"Please don't tell anyone. Just please don't...not even Selphie...if you haven't already."
"Why...?" Kairi asked, glad she hadn't told Selphie about the sketchbook, yet again, Selphie wouldn't care anyway.
"Cause...It really wouldn't be good...just please don't." Sora said almost pleading.
"I won't. You have my word...and no, I haven't told Selphie." Kairi said smiling.
"Thanks...I...really appreciate it." Sora said quietly, again not used to saying thank you.
"No problem. Everyone has secrets that need to be kept."
"...good and bad..." Sora said barely above a whisper. Yet Kairi heard it.
"Hey um...can we get out from behind this bush." Kairi asked suddenly feeling awkward.
"Sure..."
"I'm sorry I looked...I really am."
"I said it's ok...really...just curious though, what other one did you see?"
"...The one with the new guy...Roxas..."
"..."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have looked."
"...It's fine...just...just know that I have nothing against him, or anyone else...okay? I just have issues...and well...him being here is one of them."
"Okay...I understand." Kairi said, not pressing the issue. "Whoa, nice car..."
"Heh, It's not mine." Sora said as they approached a black shelby mustang. "It's Riku's...he got his license suspended...so I drive..."
"Sweet." Kairi said drooling at the pimped out wheels on the car. Sora chuckled lightly but immediately stopped when Kairi looked up surprised.
"You just laughed!" She exclaimed smiling.
"You looked like a demented car obsessed wanna be pimp...anyone would." Sora said opening the car and throwing his bag in.
"Hey, shut up!" Kairi yelled laughingly. She stopped when she caught the time on the giant clock on top of the school tower. "Oh my god I'm gonna miss the bus! Bye!" Kairi yelled taking off.
"...Bye..." Sora answered quietly, watching the peppy red-head run off. She really wasn't that bad. He hoped he could trust her. He prayed she would keep their promise. Words were one thing, actions were another. Yet deep down he had a feeling that she would keep it. A strong feeling. He suddenly felt guilty knowing about Riku's plan. It wasn't right, but he wasn't about to stop it. Not on his life. Never on his life.
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Sometimes we get that sudden urge telling us we can save the world. That we're heroes. That we can make a difference. I'm not ashamed to say I get that urge too. But I could never be a hero. Not after what I've done. I'd be something I wasn't, a hero. I've always wanted to do something more, be something more, have something more. But villains don't get second chances. Sinners don't get second chances. It wasn't my fault, they keep trying to tell me. But I know it was. I did it. I pulled the trigger of my life. And this is where I am because of it. Others say I planned it, I didn't. I know I didn't. They can laugh and call me the sick boy I am, but honey, murder isn't always a plan.
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Whew! My hands are killing me! Typing that bad boy took forever. I'd like to thank all my reviewers for this chapter:
Malcolm Yuy
THE RAD DINOSAUR
shadowtailmon
Divinehearts
angelofsweetness
Black-Dax
HyperShadowGirl11228
Evil Genius of the COCA
Kupo3.0
Sorry I can't give individual responses this time, I'm just tired out. (Feeling kinda sick...sucks...) Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review again!
Peace