Disclaimer: I own nothing, only my ideas.

This is my second fanfiction to write. All credit for the storyline goes to kaya17tj, as this is originally all her idea.

Chapter 10

Letters to My Heart

Dear Haley

I'm so happy that you are giving me a chance and writing me, so I just want to say thank you. Trustfully, I'm grateful that you want to try and be friends with me; I know I haven't put you in a good situation with hiding this all from Matt. It's just that from the way Matt talks about you, he seems protective, even overprotective at times. Which I totally understand - you're his sister, he wants the best for you and doesn't want some guy taking advantage or hurt you.

The reason I asked you to not tell Matt and keep this between us, is that there has been a lot of talk about me at the camp here. I'm sure that Matt has heard stories about my past experiences with girls - I'm a bit of a ladies' man and with my background of being popular at school and known as the egotistical jock. Well it doesn't help in trying to defend myself. And I know if Matt found out we were talking, he would totally misunderstand and think that I'm trying to be more than friends. Honestly, Haley, I'm not like that I promise. I do just need a friend right now and I was hoping it would be you.

Sometimes it just easier to be that way – a jerk, the popular egotistical jock that gets away with everything and I do it so I don't have to let people in, or to explore the real problems that are going on in my life. But let me tell you, my life isn't all easy sailing. Please remember that, and don't listen to what you have heard or will hear about me.

Just like the way you have your music, I guess basketball is my way of letting going of the pressures of life. You mentioned in your letter that you live with both parents; well I am not as lucky as you, mine are divorced now and I live with my dad because my mom would rather help other people than have to deal with me. As you can probably tell, we have a complicated relationship. Anyways, my dad puts lot of pressure on me to be great at basketball. You see the thing is Haley; my dad never got the opportunities in basketball that I'm getting. So in a lot of way he pushes me to be the player he was trying to be at my age, instead of letting me explore the game for myself. And it has caused a lot of problems between us over the years. I've grew to hate my dad because of all the bullying but I still want to make him proud. With all that said, I still think basketball is my one chance to show that I'm a better person than him.

And with the girls – it's all a defence mechanism. I know I'm popular because of basketball and my good looks, plus my family is rich. Girls want me so I tend to get little to carry away with them when I get drunk. It's a nice feeling - being wanted. It's better than feeling like crap from the way my dad has been putting me down all the time. Haley, I know this isn't painting a good picture for you of what I'm like. I need you to know that I'm the way I am for a reason. But I don't want to be that person that needs to use other people to feel good about themselves. I want to be a good friend, one that you can go to when you have problems and such. And I want to be able to find myself a steady girlfriend, who I actual connect with on an emotional level, not just a physical one. And a girl who doesn't want to be with me just cause I'm basketball player who is rich and popular. Because I know meaningless hook-ups or the party life just isn't for me anymore.

Haley, I noticed in your letter you seem to talk a lot about your family and friends, the people in your life and what they are doing but you never really talked very much about yourself. That's okay if you're scared to open up but I would love to hear more about your music and not just from hearing your voice while I work out. I think that it's amazing and you definitely are so talented when it comes to singing. So I'm guessing that you're probably more talented than singing when it comes to music. If you feel comfortable, please tell me more about your life and you.

Your friend,

Nathan xx

Haley sat looking at the letter, she was happy that Nathan had started to make the effort and open up to her about his past. She felt that it was only fair to see him as the guy in the letters, regardless of his past. At the end of the day, he hadn't done anything to her to make her think otherwise. From the letters so far, although there had only been two, she liked the fact that she had a new friend.

She still had the fear in her mind about what would happen with her relationship with Matt, if he found out about the letters between them. She knew he would have a hard time outstanding that she was just seeking a friendship with Nathan after everything that happened with Chris. At the same time, she knew Matt was just looking out for her. There had to be a point at some time where she was just going to let go of her past and start living her life again.

Now that Nathan had started to open up with her, she knew she was going to have to give him something in return. Just like what Nathan had said in the letters, she did tend to talk more about the people in her life than what she was doing with her life, due to the fear of having to discuss the painful experiences that had affected her relationships with people in the past.

Haley knew she had a lot of thinking to do and this was the type of thinking, music wasn't going to help. So she decided it was time to go toward the beach, clear her head and come to terms with everything that happen in her life two years ago.

On her walk to the beach, all the memories of her relationship with Chris started flooding back and she was having a hard time thinking. At the start of their relationship everything seemed normal but that was before things changed, before he changed. And that's when things started to affected Haley the most. She stood at the top of the beach thinking about how over the last year she never really fully came to terms with the painful relationship she had with Chris. Instead of talking about it with people, she bottled it up and let it eat away at her, affecting her chances of moving on with her life. Even with her close friends and family who knew about the hurtful experience she had with Chris, she did everything in her power to avoid talking about it. If someone tried to break through the barrier to see what was happening in her mind, she would stop talking to them all together.

Finding her favourite spot, she sit down and thought back to Nathan's letter. She knew that now she was going to have to confront her fear to move on from her past. Sitting and watching the waves, there was a stillness that she never felt before. Maybe it was because now she can see that Chris wasn't the prince charming which she hoped he could have been for her but more of an annoying toad. He would rather put her down because he was more worried about himself and getting his own career started to worry about how he was affecting her. He had used her to further his singing career without once thinking of her and now "I'm sorry" from him at any point, wasn't going to make it better or even change how she feels after all the hurt and pain he had caused her.

After a while of sitting, listening to the waves and thinking about the experiences Nathan had shared with her in his letters, her spirits started to brighten up and she knew what she wanted to share with him. As she sat against the warm sands, her mind started to develop lyrics of a song. This felt so strange from her, as it had been exact a year since she was able to connect personally to her music. This made her think back to the connection Nathan was talking about with her music, in a way it made her happy and in other ways scared her hundred times more.

I would really love everyone who is reading this story to send in a review please. Tell me what you think, Am I going too slow or is it too fast? Please tell me what you would like to see in upcoming chapters please.