A/N: Sorry, this chapter really fought with me. Belatedness aside, I think I'm moving in the direction I want now, so the next chapter should take considerably less time to get written up and posted.
Much love (as always!) to my reviewers. You guys rock my socks.
Without further ado (thankfully)... Chapter 10!
You'll tell me if it sucks, right? Right? You won't just sit there and laugh at me, and point, and keep me from joining all the reindeer games... RIGHT? 0.o
Cat hadn't expected candy, or wine, or roses... but she had expected something. Something other than the cool stares and cold shoulders that flew her way all through Sikowitz' class and into lunch. As she sat in contemplative silence at the lunch table, Jade sashayed over and plopped her food unceremoniously next to Cat's. The small redhead cast a wary eye over her girlfriend and decided to keep her mouth shut. Jade looked ready to pull the wings off of faeries.
As far as Cat knew, nothing had happened that would account for Jade's change in demeanor. They had ended the evening on good terms, Jade kissing her passionately before bouncing her keys in her hand with a smile and heading home. It had seemed like everything was going to be alright.
Now, the stormy brunette was glaring daggers at her salad and doing anything but acting 'alright'. The clamor of lunchtime seemed to slide around her, like she was an island in the midst of a raging river, students and their assorted cacophonous noises spilling around her as she sat in immovable funk. She didn't even comment when Sinjin wandered by and not-so-discreetly leaned in to sniff her hair.
Now that was disturbing.
Cat turned back to her notes from class and tried to act like everything was normal. She casually reached over and set her hand on top of Jade's in her lap, counting it as a small victory when she felt Jade's fingers slide between her own. They sat in uneasy silence, Cat casting curious looks through her bangs as she failed spectacularly at memorizing her lines. This wasn't what she had expected at all.
Tori came bouncing over to their table about halfway through the period, a large, knowing smile plastered on her face as she sat down across from the tense couple.
"What do you want?" Jade growled, pausing momentarily in her salad slaughter to glare across the table.
"Just wanted to say 'hi'!" Tori smiled at Cat, turning to cover her mouth so that Jade couldn't see, then mouthed, "What's up with Captain Cranky?"
Cat shrugged and willed her smile to stay plastered on. "How are you and Andre doing with your scene?"
"Oh, well enough... I think it's silly that Sikowitz is having us do 'Taming of the Shrew'."
Jade arched her eyebrow and smiled one of her (evil) little smiles. Cat suspected she was keeping a rather unfriendly comment locked behind those perfect lips.
"You guys will do great! I just know it!" There. She could be energetic and interested enough for the both of them.
Tori rambled on about the project for awhile, Cat nodding and exclaiming at all the right places, though more through habit than anything. Jade was driving her nuts. This 'Quiet Game' was a horrible idea, one that put her more and more on edge as the minutes ticked by. Tori finally exhausted herself and moved on from talking to staring. Cat could feel her chocolate eyes peering intently between them, could practically see the questions and thoughts curling around each other as they mulled around in her brain. It was eerie watching someone else's mind work when her own seemed hopelessly mired.
"You should look at something else if you value your eyes, Vega."
Cat held in a sigh and mouthed "sorry" at Tori. The skinny girl smiled airily and brushed it off.
"You should watch your mouth if you don't want certain... things... to get out." With that simple statement, Tori stood and waved good-bye to Cat, smiling ingratiatingly at her sullen partner. As she moved off through the crowd, Cat tried to soothe Jade, rubbing her hand and mumbling sweet nothings at her. Tori's comment had Jade fumbling for a response, the vein in her neck throbbing in anger as she mouthed wordlessly at the retreating figure.
"It's okay Jade, she won't really say anything..."
"She won't if she knows what's good for her," Jade finally managed.
"What's going on with you?"
Jade turned to look her her, troubled eyes hooded and concealing. "What's that supposed to mean?"
It was Cat's turn to arch an eyebrow as her trademark phrase fell from Jade's lips.
"You know what I meant." It was a peevish response, but she could tell Jade's heart wasn't really in it.
"I mean this... funk."
"Ex-cuse me?" Jade snatched her hand away and turned her glare on Cat.
"No, I meant that you seem down! Like, something else is going on..." Great, thought the little singer, now I'm in trouble.
"There's a whole lot going on all of the time, Cat. Plenty to be getting on with. I don't need your negativity." Jade stood and snatched up her bag. "I'll see you after school."
Cat sat, baffled, and watched as Jade stomped off into the school, scattering lower classmen like leaves in the Santa Ana winds.
Her negativity? Really?
Something was very not-right in the tumultuous world of Jade West.
Cat was in the middle of a very interesting (she thought) conversation with Tori about the ghost cars that tripped stoplights in the middle of the night, when she saw jade headed out to her car. She quickly excused herself, apologizing to her friend as she took off after Jade, running to catch up before she got to her car.
Jade stopped next to the vehicle, waiting for Cat to catch up before beeping it open and sliding into the driver's seat. Cat stood in thought for a moment before sliding in next to her, fastening her seatbelt. She didn't know what to say, she couldn't trust herself not to make it worse. She still didn't even know what was really going on.
"My dad is going to kill me."
That simple statement, so matter-of-fact, so blase... it unearthed a pit of fear in Cat's soul.
"I... he... what?" Her voice was small and scared, and she cursed it for showing her weakness.
"He's going to find out, Cat." Jade had the steering wheel in a death grip, her knuckles white. "He's going to find out and he's going to kill me."
Cat shook her head, tears gathering unbidden in the corners of her eyes. No, no, no-
"I... I don't know if I can do this."
Cat felt herself start crying, her hands clenched in her lap as she felt the tears slipping down her face. This was ridiculous, this was just some little thing... some little bump, hiccup, snag, snafu, interruption, short-circuit-
"I think I made a mistake."
-detour, roadblock, dead-end, WARNING: CLIFF AHEAD.
Too late.
Once again, Cat found herself shooting over the edge of her mind: reality could be a hard thing to hold onto. Like a slow-motion clip of Thelma & Louise, Cat's mind accelerated over the precipice and hurtled like a two-ton rock into the depths of her own canyon-like psyche. She braced for the impact, for the rending crunch of smashed ego and unruly emotion that was racing towards her face.
But there wasn't an impact. She just kept falling, and falling, and falling, and falling, and-
"Say something..."
-there it was, the bottom, she could sure see it now!
Boy, how very large and flat it looked rushing up to meet her... yet, how round at the edges, like one of those pictures taken with a fish-eye lens that made everything look like a nightmare, like the sinister creeping of insanity as it clawed it's way into her bright and shiny world...
In an instant, Cat Valentine shattered apart like spun glass thrown against concrete.
She was vaguely aware of sitting in the car; of the hot leather of the seats sticking to the backs of her legs; of Jade's hard, measured breathing, preternaturally loud in the confines of the cab; of the scorching afternoon sun burning into her. This was all noticed, all catalogued and filed away by her subconscious for later use. It was occupied with trying to prevent a complete systems failure at the moment and couldn't be bothered to register sensory input. There was a struggle, a scrum if you will, as Cat's conscious mind fragmented and shot apart, as her subconscious scrambled to grab desperately at the retreating shards.
There was a sound in her head like a faint humming, building in intensity and pitch, a sound that drowned out thought and reason, rationality and rhyme. Everything went sort of fuzzy and soft, then dark, dark, dark, dark, dark-
Why was it so dark?
Cat tried opening her eyes.
Still dark. But she was laying on something soft and it felt like a cloud, and it smelled like mangoes, and there was this wonderful warmth radiating next to her. Her rationality floated teasingly close, whispering hints to her of her surroundings through the dissociative fugue that clouded her thoughts.
Mangoes.
That meant something important.
She tried closing her eyes again, and as it didn't seem to make a noticeable difference, she kept them shut.
Inhaling deeply, the strong scent of tropical fruit washed over her like a wave, the almost sickeningly sweet aroma pouring into her lungs and kick-starting her brain.
Jade. Jade always smelled like mangoes.
Cat opened her eyes once more and tried to find a recognizable bit of furniture, or wall, or ceiling, or... bedspread. Purple. Jade's.
Why... why was she here? The only thing she could remember was Jade saying something about her father... but that was right after school. What happened to all of that time in between?
Slowly, Cat rolled over onto her other side. Jade was stretched out next to her, both girls still fully clothed, with her arm draped over Cat's middle.
The bottom fell out of her mind and she floated aimlessly for awhile.
Once her mind resurfaced, she tried once more to figure out what she was doing laying on Jade's bed, at Jade's house, when Jade had just tried calling it off with her.
It made the kind of sense that's not.
That is, it made the kind of sense that her fragile, shattered mind couldn't handle even if given detailed instructions and full-color diagrams.
That hopeful Cat, that happy Cat, suggested that it meant they were still together. Jade's Cat said she was being silly (like usual) and reading too much into a friend's simple concern. Happy Cat quickly muzzled Jade's Cat and shut her in a closet. No comments from the Peanut Gallery, thank you.
Cat closed her eyes once more and tried to stop her world from spinning. She felt like she was losing her mind. More so than usual.
It was unsettling. Discomfiting, even.
Eyes open.
Find the clock.
One-thirteen a.m.
Close eyes.
Sleep, sleep was the best option now. Drift off, just let go, just float into unconsciousness and relax.
There would be a rising sun along the dark horizon... things were always darkest before the dawn... it had to get worse before it got better...
Sleep was elusive, close, but not close enough to pull her in.
It was a long night.
Jade opened her eyes as the first rays of sun filtered through her blinds and she smiled softly.
"I was wrong, go to sleep..."
Cat felt her tension rush out and it was replaced by a bone-weary sleepiness. Jade leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"I'll call us out of school, just go to sleep Kitten."
Cat yawned and eyed Jade warily. No way it was going to be this simple. No way was everything just going to fall back... into... place... She yawned again. Goodness, she was tired. Her mind swirled back, coalescing briefly before puffing away on the next breath of wind.
Jade was holding her close now, her arms wrapping about her protectively, and she could hear the steady thump-thump-thump of the actress' heart under her breast.
"I really am tired..." Cat yawned, one hand covering her mouth.
"We'll talk about things when you wake up. I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Jade kissed her forehead this time. "Get some rest."
Cat nodded sleepily and relaxed, letting her mind swirl off into the aether.
Apologetic Jade made everything seem better.