Moments & Fragments
This was prompted by Kill Ari Part one. Three different perspectives.
It was mercifully dark by the time they had finished on the rooftop. McGee was truly thankful for that. When there had still been daylight - murky as it was, given the rain - his insides had twisted each time he'd seen Tony's face. Bad enough that the senior agent was not joking around or making politically incorrect remarks, when Tony had made a comment or an observation, his voice was whispery and strained. What had disturbed Tim the most was the anguish evident in Tony's eyes. McGee could not and did not want to imagine what it must have been like for Tony and Gibbs to see their colleague – their friend – shot down in front of their eyes. By the time McGee had arrived on the roof, Tony was scouring the area and Gibbs was crouched and on guard.
Not long after Kate's body had been removed and McGee and Tony had been left to find evidence, the rain had begun. It had started with a few drops but then had become a steady, soaking downpour. It had diluted and washed away the pool of blood. It had streamed down their faces and soaked into their clothes. It had plastered Tony's expertly styled hair to his forehead, making him appear younger and more vulnerable than McGee wanted to see him. It did not stop raining the whole time they searched and it was still raining.
'Let's get these to Gibbs,' Tony said, in that awful, whispery tone as he sealed the evidence bag that contained the bullet casings. The casings of the bullets that were fired at Kate. The casing of the bullet that had killed Kate.
McGee nodded and broke into a trot to keep up with Tony's long strides.
Gibbs looked up from his desk as McGee and Dinozzo came in. In his devastation over Kate, he had forgotten that the two men were still out there. For that, he mentally head-slapped himself. First, one of his agents had been killed before his very eyes. Now it seemed he had lost touch with what he had ordered the rest of his team to do.
As McGee stumbled and apologized his way through an explanation of what they had found, Gibbs' attention wavered between the bullet casings and his senior field agent. Gibbs had never been more proud of, or more concerned about, Tony's conduct. Tony had not fallen to his knees in despair as they realized the awful truth that Kate was dead. Instead, Tony had looked at Kate in dismay and then to Gibbs for guidance. He had then accepted Gibbs' orders and acted upon them, Kate's blood spatter still on his stricken face. Now, as McGee babbled on, Tony stood by silently. White. Cold. Soaking wet. Far too recently Tony had been fighting for his life in a hospital bed. Gibbs didn't think he could go through seeing Tony like that again. Especially not now. At the men's comment that they were going back out, Gibbs shook his head and told them to get some dry clothes. If it were possible, McGee looked deeper in shock than he had moments before.
Dinozzo
Tony stood outside Abby's lab with the evidence bags in his hands. He had changed his clothes. An order from Gibbs was an order from Gibbs. But he still felt cold. It was as though icy tendrils had worked their way inside him and were encircling his very core. He did not expect any warmth to be returning any time soon. And maybe that was a good thing. Cold meant numb. Numb meant not feeling. Not feeling was good. He entered the lab. He could do this. Piece of cake.
He was impressed that Abby held it together for as long as she did. And when he eventually held her and comforted her by just being there, he felt himself thaw…. just a little. Not enough that he was going to be reduced to a blithering mess. After all, a Dinozzo didn't cry, pass out or become a blithering mess. But with Abby's arms flung around his neck, her heart beating against his and his face buried in her hair, Tony felt the sharpest edges melt and soften. In time, he would be okay. They would all be okay. But they would never be the same.