Hey guys! I'm sorry it took so long to update but I got home from France a couple of weeks ago (my new avatar is from that holiday) and I have been really busy, I wanted to write again but I had to help my dad fix my bike then my laptop charger broke so I couldn't even get online apart from on my phone :( but I'm back now with a new chapter, possibly a long one coz its a long song but one of my faves from the movie XD
Sshaw101 I think we all wish we owned Al Calderon but for now I will continue sending him random tweets and favoiriting his replies :D totally agree with what you said about DA so glad she is writing again, best fanfic writer ever! France was great, got the biggest hug from Lizzy when I saw her and got drunk a lot (the drinking age there is 16 and I'm 15 but still got served), got a serious sun tan in Paris lol I have a white line across my chest from the bag I was wearing haha.
Disclaimer: I am NOT Dan Schneider, I AM in love with Ariana. Now that that's cleared I will start the story.
The small woman almost drags Sweeney down the steps, into the dusty pie shop and into a booth, "Sit down". Looking around to find the boy, she sees him asleep in the middle of her living room, clutching the almost empty bottle of gin which she pries out of his enclosed hands before turning back to Mr. Todd to poor him a glass, "there. Drink it down. Now, we got a body moldering away upstairs. What do you intend to do about that, then?" She questions the tall man who has now downed his drink. "Later on, when its dark... we take it to some secret place and bury it".
Rolling her eyes, Mrs. Valentine walks towards the window, "oh, yeah. Of course we could do that". She looks out of the window when an idea hits her, "Don't suppose he's got any relatives gonna come poking round, looking for him". She tilts her head slightly and turns to Sweeney as her idea expands in her mind and explained as she sings. (Mrs. Valentine will be in underlined, Sweeney will be italics).
"Seems a downright shame."
"Shame?"
"Seems an awful waste.
Such a nice plump frame,
what's-his-name has,
had, has,
nor he cant be traced."
She slowly turns around and walks to her counter.
"Business needs a lift,
debts to be erased.
Think of it as thrift,
as a gift,
if you get my drift.
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
with the price of meat,
what it is,
when you get it,
if you get it."
"Ahh."
"Good, you got it.
Take for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better,
using only pussycats and toast.
Now, a pussy's good for maybe,
six or seven at the most."
Mrs. Valentine begins pacing across the room and back, quickly.
"And I'm sure they cant compare,
as far as taste."
"Mrs. Valentine,
what a charming notion."
"It does seem a waste."
Sweeney stands up to join the red headed woman in the middle of the shop.
"Eminently practical,
and yet appropriate as always.
Mrs. Valentine,
how I've lived without you all these years,
I'll never know."
Sweeney takes her hand and waltzes around the room with her in glee.
"Think about it,
lots of other gentlemen'll soon be,
coming for a shave, wont they?
Think of all them pies."
"How choice, how rare."
The pair dance towards the window and open the old curtain to look at the men in the streets as if to see what is on their menu.
"For what's the sound of the world,
out there?"
"What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?"
"Those crunching noises,
pervading the air."
"Yes, Mr. Todd.
Yes. Mr. Todd.
Yes all around."
"Its man devouring man,
my dear."
"And who are we to deny it in here?"
Mrs. Valentine walks behind the counter and pulls a pie out of the oven, Sweeney turns around and stands opposite her.
"These are desperate times, Mrs. Valentine...and desperate measures are called for."
"Here we are, hot out of the oven."
"What is that?"
She motions out of the window to a plump man welcoming people into the church and sings again.
"Its priest,
have a little priest."
"Is it really good?"
"Sir, its too good, at least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
so its pretty fresh."
"Awful lot of fat."
"Only where it sat."
"Haven't you got poet,
or something like that?" Mr. Todd changes his view to a man reading a book next to the church.
"No, you see,
the trouble with poet,
is how do you know its deceased?
Try the priest."
Sweeney winces then walks to another window, followed by the ageing woman.
"Lawyers rather nice."
"If its for a price."
"Order something else, though,
to follow,
since no one should swallow it twice."
"Anything that's lean?"
"Well, then, if your British and loyal,
you might enjoy Royal Marine.
Anyway, its clean.
Though, of course,
it tastes of wherever its been."
"Is that squire on the fire?"
"Mercy, no, sir, look closer,
you'll notice its grocer."
"Looks thicker,
more like vicar."
"No, it has to be grocer,
its green."
He places his hand on the back of the short woman's neck and leads her back through the room and towards another large window.
"The history of the world,
my love."
"Save a lot of graves,
do a lot of relatives favors."
"Is those below serving those up above."
"Everybody shaves,
so there should be plenty of flavors."
"How gratifying for once to know,"
"That those above will serve those down below."
Sweeney stares in shock at a man wearing expensive posh yet ridiculous purple clothing.
"What is that?"
"Its fop,
finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherds pie,
peppered with actual shepherd on top.
And I've just begun,
here's the politician, so oily,
its served with a doily, have one."
"Put it on a bun,
well, you never know,
if its going to run."
"Try the friar,
fried, its drier"
"No, the clergy is really,
too coarse and too mealy."
They make their way back to the counter where Mr. Todd picks up a butchers knife and Mrs. Valentine wraps her fingers around a rolling pin."
"Then actor,
its compacter."
"Ah, but always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu."
Once again the barber and the pie maker are waltzing around the empty shop but this time with the sharp and heavy objects in one hand.
"Have charity towards the world,
my pet."
"Yes, yes, I know, my love."
"We'll take the customers that we can get."
"Highborn and low, my love."
"We'll not discriminate great from small.
No, we'll serve anyone,"
"We'll serve anyone."
"Meaning anyone."
"And to anyone at all!"
If anyone hasn't seen the film then you should at least watch that scene because it is one of the best songs in the film! (BTW that is the end of the scene and I couldn't be arsed writing any coz I think the scene after is long so the next chapter is long, yayyy, but also confusing/ difficult to write, boooo! haha. It is also when Sweeney's mass murder starts lol)
I would've updated sooner but my mum ordered a new laptop charger online but the good news is... it got here like, a week early XD she also gave me an early birthday present, an android tablet (its like an ipad but smaller and cheaper lol)
Until next time, bye! And please review :)
~~Ariana Fan XD
xoxo