Chapter 10 - Shaming time
()()()
The show returned to air. At this time, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were all seperated in chairs with security sitting nearby. Sitting opposite of them, was the little mermaid, along with her dad, and the prince sitting opposite. Larry was walking through the audience to get questions from his guests.
"I have a comment for the cute one." Said an ugly lady "With a skirt like that, you're practically topless!" she said
Dot had this one all wrapped up.
"I might not have many clothes...but at least I have all my teeth." Dot smiled brightly while the audience all laughed at dot's comeback. The old lady didn't open her mouth any more.
Another guest stood up to ask a question. He spoke in a deep southern accent.
"My comment is fer the tall one, ya know how sick that is? sleepin' wit yur sister? How old are ya?" he asked
"I'd tell you, but you can't count that high." Yakko replied, before turning to the readers "They don't get sesame street down in the south, so that explains their lesser intelligence and their attitudes towards other races."
Another guest got the microphone. She was a rather large woman.
"My comment is for the little one, you are such a *Bleep!*" The censor guy hit the button
"Yeah, well at least when I do handstands, my gut doesn't hit me in the face." Replied Dot, causing the audience to go "ooooh!"
Another audience member stood up, he wanted to talk to the little mermaid.
"My Comment is for the mermaid girl, why do you wear seashells?" he asked
"Because B-shells are too small." She replied, causing the audience to laugh.
An older man stood up.
"My question is for the middle child, I was just thinking..." He began
"Well, don't hurt yourself." Said Wakko
"...You know, i was gonna say you were the good person in that triangle, but i've changed my mind!" he said
"You changed your mind, does the new one work any better?" asked Wakko
the audience went "oooooh!" again.
The next guest who got the microphone was just a target for comeback. A very large, very ugly southerner lady. and she picked Yakko.
"My comment is for the oldest one, You realize that on judgement day you will be judged for your sins? Repent now, Lust is a sin!" she said
"So is sloth and gluttony. that's 2 to your 1." Yakko replied
"Are you calling me fat and lazy? I'm not fat, i'm a beautiful christian princess!" she replied
"Pride. that's 3." replied Yakko
"You're making me angry!"
"Well, I do have a kit-kat in my pocket." Yakko replied
"Not hungry! Angry!" she replied
"Oh, Wrath! that's 4 to my 1." Yakko smiled
The fat lady knew she couldn't outdo Yakko. So instead she turned to Dot.
"To you, girlfriend. It's not just a man's world! I'll pray for you!" she said
"And i'll pray for the chair you're sitting on." Dot laid a verbal smackdown
"eeeeeeee!" the fat lady held back a scream.
Then Larry handed the microphone to an audience member.
"Our producers have decided that you will take us into the last break." he said
The audience member stood up.
"We'll be right back with Larry's final thought!" he said. Then the theme played and the scene cut to commercial.
()()()
When the Larry Stringer show came back, Larry was sitting on a chair offstage.
"Well, first of all, i'd like to thank y'all for comin' on the show, and good luck to ya, I hope you guys find some happiness in your lives." Larry then turned the camera in front.
"You know, All people have feelings and they're not there to be used. If you're no longer intrested in someone, they have the right to be informed before you go and cheat or go looking elsewhere. When it comes to romance, everyone is entitled to their own choices, even their own mistakes. Say your peace, offer your opinion, then let it go. Except for extreme circumstances, people are usually happier when they are with someone they want to be."
Then the credits began to roll.
"So until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other."
Then the theme song played and the audience gave applause. the guests all walked offstage, except for the little mermaid and her dad.
"Who's gonna take her?" asked a security guard
"She's my woman, i'll take her." replied the prince
"You'd better take me first." said King triton, crossing his arms.
"Oh, geez. why'd you gotta embarrass her anyways, takin' her on the show?" asked the prince, carting off his future father in law.
Then Yakko bolted up and offered his services by kissing the mermaid's hand.
"Does the lovely lady need help being carried off?" he asked
"Sure." The mermaid just wanted to get off stage. Yakko in true hero fashion, lifted the mermaid off the chair.
"You know, You're kinda cute." she told Yakko
"Aww, thank you, but my heart is elsewhere." said Yakko, with his siblings catching up.
"Really? who?" asked the mermaid
"A beautiful girl by the name of Keri Russell." Replied Yakko
"Why are you always obsessed with her?" Dot asked her brother
"Because anything bigger than a handful is a waste." Yakko grinned
The mermaid was a bit more curious about human life beyond what she'd seen.
"Now people have been calling me 'the little mermaid' what does that mean?" asked the mermaid
"Ah, that's just a full-length animated movie that came out way back in '89." Said Yakko
"Oh yah, I liked that movie." Said Wakko
"You just liked looking at Ariel's clamshells!" Dot accused her younger brother.
"Can't deny that." Said Wakko
"Also gotta admit, the girl that modeled for the animators was apparently a really cool gal too. Not sure what she's doin' these days." Said Yakko
"I heard she wasn't very friendly." asked Wakko
Then Slappy reappeared.
"Oh, she was very, very friendly. Until a little brat like yourself decided to talk smack about her!" Slappy hit Wakko with her purse.
"Ow! that hurt!" Wakko nursed his shoulder
"Little house on the prairie, 1983. I bet ya gonna say the actress who played Willie Oleson's wife was a bad actress too, huh? Whaddya know about dramatic actin', huh?" Asked Slappy, before walking off.
"I still don't get it." Wakko was confused.
"It's a running gag, Wakko. Slappy showed up when you insulted the writers of 'my favorite martian.'" said Dot
"Yeah, so?" asked Wakko
"Then Slappy showed up at the commercial break when Phil Robertsdad insulted the writers from the Casper movie."
"Ok." Wakko was starting to sense a pattern.
"And then Slappy reappeared when you insulted the model for the little mermaid. and then mentioned Willie Oleson's wife from Little house on the prairie. Makes you curious, doesn't it?" asked Dot
"I guess i'll have to google the names of the writers and model when we get home." Said Wakko
"Don't you just love it when we practically give away the joke?" Yakko smiled at the readers.
The siblings eventually reached the prince and the mermaid's dad. the 2 aquatic creatures were placed in a truck with a water tank in bank.
"Ok, i'll take it from here. Thanks for the help." replied the prince
"No problem, the pleasure was all mine." Yakko bowed
"Ok, take care now." the prince got into the truck, and drove off.
"There goes one of god's undiscovered wonders of our world." Yakko sighed
Just then, the big lady that Yakko tore apart verbally showed up behind him.
"And there's one of the other wonders of the world - We wonder how she hasn't had a heart attack yet." Yakko joked
"You, you little ingrates! I'll teach you not to call me fat, and lazy!" she said
"Hey, you did it to yourself! come on, sibs, i'll buy ya some ice cream before diane gets back." Said Yakko
The Warners strutted off into the sunset. Just 3 more days left in their ordeal.