Will has just left Gaby on the park bench with Nick. He is wandering around confused about what has happen. How could he have gone from complete elation to being buried in hole so deep he can't see the light at the top?
Talking to himself he tried to sort this whole thing out. "Just a few hours ago I was making love to my boyfriend, feeling the happiest I have ever felt in my life. Then in one quick second that happiness is ripped from me."
I am going to be a father. I can't be a father I am not even sure where my life is going at this point. I am still in school, I have no real job. How am I suppose to support Gaby and a child. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.
"What is going to happen with Sonny and me. Will he not want anything to do with me now? Will he reject me. I can't let that happen. I can't lose him. He is part of me now. He is where my heart is. He is or maybe was the only good thing in my life. If I lose him I am done I will have nothing left. No anchor in my life. Listen to me...being so selfish...only thinking of me. What Gaby must be going through. This is going to change her life like it will change mine but even more for her. I want to be there for her but I need to have Sonny in my life...I HAVE to have Sonny in my life."
"What am I going to tell him? How am I going to tell him? Oh God what will I do if he rejects me?"
"I need to see him now...I need to be with him. I want him to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. But it won't be okay ...it will never be okay again. All this just so I could test my sexuality. A test even I knew was not needed. I knew who I was. Why did I have to do something so stupid. And not even using protection. What an idiot. Okay first things first I have to tell Sonny."
Will walks off toward Sonny's apartment. With each step he feels his life is slipping away. It feels to him like someone is taking parts of him away. Each step another piece. He is walking slowly not so much to avoid the conversation, he knows that has to happen, but slowly because once he has that conversation the one good thing he has in his life will be gone.
Yes he is worried about this child he help create, and yes if Gaby keeps it he will love it. But he can't give up Sonny. Will turns up the block toward Sonny's apartment. As he gets closer he wants to hold off. He wants to hold on to what they have for a few more minutes. Just let me be in that world with Sonny for a little while longer. He feels his tears starting to come. He has a to right to cry. Within the next few minutes he is going to have his heart ripped out of him. "Oh if only that could happen for real so I won't have to deal with this pain."
He is at Sonny's door. He slowly raises his hand to knock but holds back for just a few seconds more. Finally he knocks. Tick... tick ...tick...the seconds count off in Will's head as to when his life will be over. The door opens and Will openly cries as he crosses the threshold and wraps his arms around Sonny for possibly the last time.
Sonny holds Will firmly. "Will what's happen?" Will just sobs into Sonny's shoulder. "Will please tell me what is wrong?" Sonny pleads. Will finally speaks to Sonny without letting go of him. "Sonny please just hold me for a little bit longer …...please." Will needs to feel this closeness, that he is going to lose, for as long as he can. Sonny while still holding Will closes the door. He holds Will as tightly as he can without hurting him. Finally Sonny's concerns override Will's need to be held so he releases Will and puts his hands on Will's should to push him back so he can look into Will's eyes. "No please Sonny don't let go just yet...please". Will pleads. Sonny embraces him again.
The minutes pass and Will starts to give up his embrace off Sonny and pulls away. He walks around Sonny and sees the bed all ruffled up and starts to cry again knowing that they will never share that bed again. He turns around and his legs give out and he starts to fall. Sonny runs over to try to catch him and lowers Will to the floor so that his back is against the bed. Sonny crouches down to look at Will. He gets down on the floor next to Will and reaches for Will's hand. But Will pulls it away. "Don't ….please Sonny." Will tells him. "Will please tell me what is wrong...I am scared for you." Sonny asks with concern. Will tries to compose himself...he wipes his eyes...and look down at the floor. "Sonny first...I need you to know that I love you...I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person." Please tell me you believe me and that you will never forget that." Will begs. "Will I know you love me...I would never doubt that." Sonny offers, hoping that it might give Will some comfort. Sonny is truly scared..and feel like he might cry himself. He can't take seeing Will in so much pain. "Will whatever this is …..we can fix it or we can deal with it." "We can't fix this Sonny." "Will concedes. "Sure we can Will...we will find a way, you just have to tell me what it is so we can start to work on it." Will is now uncontrollably crying. " He is trying to talk to Sonny but he can't get the words out. "Okay …okay ..take it slow Will I am right here I am not going anywhere." "Will gets himself under better control. "Sonny...something has happen and once you hear it...I am afraid I am going to lose you." Will you won't lose me...I promise." "Sonny that is a promise you won't want to keep after this." Will states.
"Just start at the beginning and take as much time as you need. I won't leave your side." Sonny offers. Will begins. Sonny...remember that day in the park when you kissed me and I got upset?" Yes...we talked about that Will and it is all settled." "You remember me telling you that I came back to the coffee house to apologize?" Yes and you found Brian and I together and you thought that we were a couple." "Yes...and I thought I had ruined any chance I had with you so I just left without saying anything." Yes Will I remember all of that...but what does that have to do with what is bothering you right now?" "Well when I left I was upset at myself for screwing things up so I went for a walk." "Okay". Sonny acknowledges. "Well while I was walking I ran into Gaby. She was moving her stuff from Chad's back to the pub." "She was upset and dropped her stuff on the sidewalk so I helped her pick it up" I could see she was upset so I tried to find out what was wrong". "So anyway I helped her bring her stuff to up to her apartment over the pub". "She was talking about how she had done something terrible and that everyone was going to hate her for it." So I sat down next to her on the bed trying to console her." So we sort of exchanged how things were going bad for both of us without any details." " She was sitting there crying and I was feeling bad for her so I leaned in to give her a kiss." But we didn't stop...she kissed me back." "While we were kissing I was thinking about how I had lost you to Brian...and maybe if I tried I could stop being gay". Will went silent...and was still looking at the floor. Sonny turned away from looking at Will to staring at the wall across from him. "So you slept with her that night didn't you?" Sonny said as a fact. "Yes" Will responded. Sonny now was silent. He let a few minute go by before responding to this revelation. "Okay so you slept with Gaby, but we were not dating at the time right...and as I told you earlier that I was not living the life of a monk before you and I started to dating." "Well while I am hurt a bit by this I can't hold you to a higher standard than I hold for myself."
"Sonny that is not all" Will states as he is becoming almost physically ill. Sonny is silent... his mind working on what else could there be... then he remembers at how upset that Gaby was when she was here earlier. Now Sonny is feeling sick...he looks at Will. "Will …...is Gaby pregnant?" he asks hoping that it is not true. Will doesn't respond right away...he just stares down... He finally regroups and says "yes... that is why she came over here today." Sonny stands up to put some distance between he and Will. Will raises his head up to watch Sonny walking away from him.
The true reality of the situation set in on him. He has now lost the only person who he has ever loved and who loved him back. Will sits still for a few minutes watching Sonny do busy work in the kitchen so that he doesnt' have to look at or talk to Will. Will finally feels like they are not going to get through this and he sort of clears his throat as if to remind Sonny that he is still there but he gets no response. Will finally realizes that he should just leave. So he stands up and looks at Sonny's back. He feels the need to walk over to him but thinks the better of that plan because clearly Sonny does not want to talk about this. So Will heads for the door. He stops just before he reaches it and with out even looking at Sonny he apologizes but knows there is no apology for this that would make it better. "I am sorry Sonny your mom was right...I am not good enough for you". I just seem to make your life worse instead of making you happy." "I will go" ... finally Will turns to look at Sonny. "Again Sonny I am so sorry I have made such a mess of your life. Maybe you would have been better with Brian." Will walks the final few steps to the door and opens it. Suddenly he hears .."where are you going?"