Chapter 10: Choose Life

Santana stands before the big mirror in her room, naked and bare. She sees the person in the mirror look at her body in a sad, defeated way. At first, she admires the perfect olive skin, the healthy brown hair. She feels pride for her firm stomach, flawless face, and luscious legs – all of which another woman would kill to get. It would be then when the other part of her, the one grounded in reality, would tell her to turn around. The other part of her would beg her not to. It begs her to let her stay in this bubble – the safe bubble where nothing hurts.

Santana never had the courage to turn around.

She lifts her eyes to meet the brown eyes looking straight back at her. She could see no anger in those eyes. It's been long extinguished, released. But there was guilt – that never-ending feeling that gnaws her soul every time she wakes up or when she's had a happy day. Santana gets lost in her own eyes, drowning to the pools of wishes she would whisper only to the rain when no one could hear her and there'd be no sound. Not even hers. Sometimes it scares her that she would actually prefer it that way. It scares her that deep within her, she'd rather it was her taken away from the world. It scares her that she'd do anything to have ten seconds with her family. Ten seconds for her life.

Santana never had the courage to tell anyone.

She kept it locked in her mind, in a part she knew no one could access but her. It's the last fear remaining and the last wish burning. It's what keeps her from turning around. Because she knows that if she turns around, she might actually do something to get the wish to happen. That part of her scares Santana more than anything.

"Lopez! We're going to be late!" Quinn's voice from downstairs trying to battle the downpour outside snaps her out of her deliciously poisonous thoughts. She rushes to put her work clothes and moves away from the mirror but comes back in front of it only to check if she looks presentable. She avoids her own eyes as she straightens out her white blazer. She puts on the mask of confidence that protects her from anyone who wants to strike her down, to take away whatever she has left. Even so, as she approves of the chin held high in the mirror, Santana doesn't look at her eyes because if anyone looked closely, they'd see that it's the only flaw in her mask.

She turns away from the mirror just as her phone buzzes from her bedside table. She grabs it and walks out the door without a glance back.

Hey there, beautiful. ;) Hope you have a great day today. Don't forget your umbrella. See you later for lunch? :)

A reluctant smile makes its way to Santana's face. It's been a couple of days since she released all her anger onto Brittany. The girl had been there through everything and for that, Santana would eternally be grateful. Brittany was there when the anger dissipated and guilt took its place. She'd been patient when Santana woke her up with tears and she put up a fight when Santana insisted that she stay at her own bed the following night. It had taken her a pinky promise and the most sincere face she could muster to convince Brittany that this time, she's not going to leave or run away.

Santana types out a quick yes, a promise to pick her up, and a smiley face. She looks at the emoticon silently wondering when she'll finally be able to mean it when she sends it to someone. Santana presses the green phone as soon as Quinn's face swims into view.

"Finally." Quinn breathes in mock annoyance, a weak smirk in place. Santana stops at the last step of the stairs so she's a head taller than the blonde. She crosses her arms and stares sternly at her friend, knowing that for once, she's not the only one going through shit.

"It's your turn to get your head out of your ass, Q." Quinn scowls and looks down to her feet.

"I know. But what if he's still angry?" She fiddles with her thumbs and bites her lips the way she does when she's nervous about something.

"Then you'll have to face that anger because as you know, it is your fault." Quinn winces at the authority in Santana's voice. The brunette steps down from the stairs to place her hands on Quinn's shoulders. "Hey. Don't worry. You know, Caleb. He can never really hate you." Quinn sighs and straightens her shoulders. She puts on the bitch face and sets her chin up high.

"Right."

"Now, there's the bitch I know." Santana says with a smirk. Quinn eyes her.

"Are you okay?"

"Brittany's helping me through whatever it is. Just… I don't know. Just believe that I'll be okay I guess." Santana says softly.

"Satan?" Santana glares at her for using the nickname. But Quinn smiles gently at her and she can't help but smile back. "I never doubted it."

"Someone looks happy." Mike greets Brittany with a playful grin and the blonde replies with an even wider smile. "How is she?"

"She's letting me in, Mike. She's opening up." Mike offers a high five which Brittany accepts with enthusiasm.

"Knew you could do it. Is she getting better?" He digs up the schedule for the day and hands it to Brittany. She smiles softly and browses the schedule. She feels relieved when she notices that her dance classes ended just before lunch. She has the whole afternoon off.

"Well, she's not angry anymore. She still wakes up in tears though and I think she's not telling me something. But I know her. She'll tell me when she's ready." She hands the schedule to Mike.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am. Seeing her smile when she wakes up makes everything okay. It makes me hope that someday it'll reach her eyes."

"Well, wow, Brittany, you've become profound." Brittany smacks his arm gently. "But I'm happy for you and for her." Brittany answers him with a dazzling smile.

The day moves painfully slow for Brittany. She'd gotten so used to the routine of the dances she was teaching that she could let her mind drift and still be able to kickass on the floor. Her mind would fill with everything that is Santana and that's all it takes for her to be able to smile through the exhaustion. It's amazing, she thinks, how much this one person could do so much to her. She makes her dance better, livelier. She makes her feel good in the morning. And in the littlest of things such Santana's smiles, it would make her want to live through the night and wake up to it each and every day of her life.

Santana may not be okay yet. But Brittany's just happy that she's willing to do something to heal. As the blonde bends down to the level of a kid in the class and corrects her gently and with a smile, she feels a sudden urge that makes her heart flutter and feel complete. The kid in front of her blushes and smiles innocently and then runs to meet her mom. The blonde watches them and wonders if someday she'd see Santana holding a child in her arms looking at the child as if she's the only person in the world. More importantly, Brittany wonders if it'll be her to meet Santana and the child at the door, if it will be her who will dance the both of them when they feel down.

It's a secret wish of Brittany's – the only missing puzzle in her life. But she's not going to pressure the Latina into it. First and foremost, Brittany wants her to heal until the scars are almost gone and all that's left are memories to learn from.

Brittany was so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't notice Santana creep up behind her. She jumps a little but relaxes just as quickly as soon as the smell of Santana fills her completely.

"Hey. You were kind of spaced out there. Where'd you go?" Santana says. She had left work early just so she can pick up Brittany and was pleasantly surprised when she spots the blonde helping a little kid with the dance steps. Santana had never seen something so wonderful that it made her ache in all the right places. Brittany turns around in her arms and for a moment, the look on her face scares Santana. But then, Brittany cups both her cheeks gently and in a way only Brittany can and Santana waits for her to say whatever it was on her mind.

"I love you." Brittany says clearly and firmly as if it was the only thing she'd known for all of her life. Santana feels her heart stammer and then picks up its pace and feels her stomach go all good-weird. Blue eyes peer into hers unwaveringly with no judgment and somehow Santana knows that nothing she says or do would make Brittany hate her. Overcome, she pulls the blonde to her, relishing in the feeling of her body pressed against hers. In their little bubble, no one existed but them.

Santana doesn't say it back. She doesn't need to.

"Come to the shrink's office with me." Santana whispers to her ear. Brittany shivers. "I need you to know about something." Reluctantly, she pulls away from Santana and looks at her.

"Are you sure?" Santana takes both her hands feeling the warmth travel through her.

"B, I trust you with my life. If I can't trust you, then I don't know who to trust anymore."

Brittany doesn't say that she's honored or that she trusts her just as much. She doesn't need to.

Quinn stands outside the building and under the pouring rain in a bundle of nerves. Her mind is scattered and her feet seemed to be frozen on the wet asphalt. Green eyes watch the people entering the building without a care in the world and she feels the urge to slap each of them. But she knows better. She pulls put her phone and almost drops it with her shaky hands.

I have a bad feeling about this. I think I might actually get spliced if I walk through the doors.

She sends the message to Santana. Quinn jumps a foot in the air (well, not really but it feels like it) when it buzzes.

Look, Blondie. If you don't get in there, imma go all Lima Heights Adjacent on your ass. Man the fuck up, Q.

B says hi and good luck.

Quinn releases the breath she'd been holding ever since she got out of her car. She smiles slightly at Santana's message. Quinn slips the phone back into her pocket and closes her eyes. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Quinn opens her eyes and she straightens up and walks ungracefully to the building. Thankfully, no one spares her a second glance. And though it does make her a little bit paranoid, she begins to lose the nerves bit by bit and as she waits impatiently in the elevator, she loses the fear and instead leaves her with a feeling of regret for ever doubting Caleb. Quinn watches the people in the elevator decrease and when it is finally Caleb's floor, she finds herself alone. The ding resounds louder than what Quinn expects and sucks in a quick breath trying to steady her shaking legs. This is Caleb, damn it, she thinks. There's no reason to panic. Painfully slow, the doors open and Quinn's eyes bulge out of their sockets and she loses her composure completely.

"Caleb!" Caleb seemed to be just as shocked as she is. Peripherally, she notices the secretary's attention snap to them. Quinn couldn't be sure because right now all the words in her brain just flew out, but she thinks she saw her smile apologetically and somewhat encouragingly at them. Caleb steps in the elevator, his eyes not wavering from Quinn's. he lets the door close and presses the stop button to prevent the elevator from going anywhere.

"Hey." He says quietly. In the silence of the elevator, it resounds causing Quinn's heart pump faster than what is healthy.

"Hi." She manages. Suddenly, she doesn't know what to say. But she could see Caleb's guarded eyes. His posture is calm and he patiently waits for her to say something.

"How are you?" Caleb says because even if he wouldn't dare admit it out loud, the silence scares him. Quinn looks at him, incredulous. "What? It's not that hard to answer."

Quinn then realizes that there is no speech, no grand gesture, no begging. There is only one thing she needs to say and may she be damned if she doesn't get to say it right here, right now.

"I love you." She says. Her voice wavers slightly but Caleb could care less. He knows that it'll be a long time before she could say it clearly but right now, he's just glad she said it. Sure it hurt when she doubted him and actually believed that he could do such a thing to her but those words kind of made up for it and more. He digs in his pocket, retrieving the necklace and ring that he grabbed from his nightstand just before he left. Thinking back about it now, he thinks that he'd always knows that she'd come.

"Please say something because if you don't, I might just force the doors open and run away again and –…" Caleb places a finger over lips and she deflates visibly. He shows her the ring, dangling on the silver band. Quinn gasps and for too many times that day, words fail her.

"It's a promise ring. But I don't want you to wear it on your finger yet." Quinn opens her mouth to voice out her confusion but before she could, Caleb raises a hand, smiling gently at her. "I know you're not ready to wear it, Q. Not yet. So I'm not going to force you. I want you keep it around your neck so that when you look in the mirror you'll see it and you'll remember that I will marry you someday and that I promise to see and love only you. I'm not going to tell you the rest of the speech. But you'll know when the right time comes. So, Q? Will you wear it for me?" He grins, sheepish and playful but the sincerity in his eyes is hard to doubt.

Quinn rushes in his arms before he could utter a word and Caleb chuckles as he stumbles back his elbow hits a button. The elevator begins to move but neither notices.

"Do you even have to ask?" Quinn whispers against his neck. "I am so sorry." She adds. Claeb rubs her back.

"Sure it kind of hurt. But right now, I think I can forget about it." Caleb says softly. He pulls away to look at the love of his life properly. Green eyes are shining with tears, her cheeks are flushed and her lips are stretched into a full-blown smile. Caleb had never seen something more beautiful.

Their lips meet just as the elevator comes to a stop. They hear faint sounds of clapping, whistling, and gasps but they couldn't be sure because the only thing that they can hear in their moment is the synchronized beating of their hearts.

"So let me get this straight. Quinn thought Caleb was cheating on her so she ran away without letting him explain anything?" Santana nods. They are in the usual restaurant waiting for their orders to be served. Santana was explaining why Quinn and Caleb might not make it to lunch and the blonde got worried. "Aww. I wonder if they're okay."

"Who knows? All I know is that if they're not, Quinn is so sleeping in the backyard. I am not tolerating asses except for myself." Brittany giggles.

"You're not an ass." She says amidst giggles that get louder as Santana scoffs at the statement. The brunette reaches to pat the blonde on the back, her eyes softening as soon as she makes contact. Brittany's giggles dissolve into a peaceful smile. She takes Santana's hand and Santana feels like she's the only person that Brittany's seeing. She feels something turn inside her and somehow, she knows that people would give anything for another person to look at them like that. Santana's a bit luckier. She blushes adorably and Brittany's smile widens. Santana smiles back and hopes that she doesn't look like an idiot, smiling like a completely smitten teenager. She hopes in vain but really, she doesn't mind.

It takes a while and she almost misses it but Santana makes the mistake of noticing the people behind Brittany and finds an old woman staring at them with something very akin to disgust in her eyes. Brittany seems to notice Santana's change of expression because she follows her line of sight. The old woman looks away but after every three seconds she would look up and slightly glare at them. Brittany squeezes Santana's hand in an attempt to appease the apparent irritation radiating from her. Strangely (or maybe not), her shoulders begin to relax.

"Excuse me, is there a problem?" Santana says in a much kinder tone than what she originally planned. Brittany rubs her knuckles in a pacifying manner but doesn't intervene. Santana smirks inside. She's rubbing off on her.

"No, nothing at all." There's a hint of sarcasm in the old woman's voice. Santana stays put on her seat and surprisingly, the Latina smiles honestly at the old woman. Brittany swells with pride.

"If you're wondering, yes, I'm in love with this girl. And I would do anything to give her the life she deserves." Santana stands up from her seat when the old woman begins to look repulsed and Brittany looks at her warningly. She smiles at her reassuringly but there's a hint of mischief in her eyes. Brittany, though slightly wary, chooses to trust her.

"I understand if you feel disgust or any other negative feelings for us. But this I ask you, an old geezer, no offense, would it be possible for you to ignore what society dictates and instead open your eyes to the simple fact that we are free to love whoever the hell our heart chooses? Most people would spend their lives finding someone who can fix them up and die never finding the right person. But as fucked up as my life may be, I found that person and she's holding my hand in this very moment. And right now, I may not be shiny and new yet and may never really be but you know what? It helps. It helps to know that I have someone who loves me enough to try and glue me back together. It makes me want to believe that there's some justice left in this godforsaken world." Santana takes a deep breath and proceeds with a softer tone.

"I lost my whole family in a fire. And it still hurts like a bitch. So please, let me enjoy my time with the woman I love while I still can. After all, we're all dying in this room. And if I die tomorrow, I'd like to be able to say that I loved my broken heart out."

By now, the restaurant is tuned to the tense but genuine conversation that seemed more like a monologue. Brittany's eyes are shining and Santana thinks that if they get thrown out after this, it would be completely worth it. The old woman could only stare at Santana and she gives her one last smile (that might've looked too much like a smirk) before relaxing back by Brittany's side.

Brittany feels like she might burst from pride and love. She grips Santana's hand and feels the warmth radiating from it. She knows she's misty-eyed when Santana looks at her mildly worried and touches her cheek with her free hand softly, gently, the way only Santana can do. They don't say anything because somehow, they know what it was they want to tell each other. Unbeknownst to them, they've become one person. And Brittany knows that though it may be a hard road, but Santana's on her way to healing.

I'm here.

I'm glad.

When the food arrives, the waiter sets down their orders with a quiet smile. He had witnessed the entire thing and though he may not really be open to it yet, he thinks that he doesn't mind these two people because it's just hard not to when you witness them look and really see each other. They were nice too, he adds, when Brittany smiles sweetly at him.

"Thank you." She says. The waiter leaves them to their own world feeling light and happy.

They are halfway through their food when Quinn and Caleb arrive.

"Hey guys. Is it too late for us to catch up?" Santana's face breaks into a smirk and Brittany bounds up to wrap them both in a giant hug.

"I'm so happy for you!" She says, ecstatic. Caleb could only smile wider and Quinn blushes. Santana stands too punch Caleb's shoulder.

"Well, it's exhilarating to know you have balls." Caleb winks playfully and Santana chuckles, genuinely happy for the both of them. When they've all sat down and Quinn and Caleb placed their orders, Quinn glares half-heartedly at Santana. Caleb and Brittany are engaged in an animated conversation about the studio.

"You told her?"

"We don't keep secrets from each other." Santana shrugs. Quinn raises her eyebrows and deliberately brushes her hand against Santana's back. The brunette shivers involuntarily.

"Really?" Quinn says under her breath. Santana glares at her.

"Soon. But I'm trying, okay?" Santana hisses.

"I know. And I'm proud of you." Quinn says. She smiles at Santana.

"So. Did you get hot and nasty make up sex?" This time it was loud enough for Brittany and Caleb to hear. Quinn smacks her at the back of her head, blushing furiously. Caleb is flushing like crazy. Brittany looks innocently at the both of them.

"Did you?" The couple blushes more.

"No!" Quinn manages to say.

"Aww, that's so sad." Brittany says and Santana laughs. Despite themselves, Quinn and Caleb share a look at the sound of her laugh. Soon all of them are laughing like there's nothing wrong in the world.

A waiter snaps a picture to put at the memory board, capturing a priceless moment.

Mercedes raises a confused eyebrow at the two people at her doorway. Santana's looking away from her, her cheeks flushing lightly. The blonde girl on the other hand is smiling at her like they've known each other for so long. She stands up from her seat and is about to ask but the question never comes out when she suddenly finds herself pulled into a hug.

"Thank you for your help in fixing her." Brittany whispers so that only Mercedes could hear. A flash of realization hits Mercedes and she remembers this being the girl who 'dragged' Santana's ass to the office. She slowly returns the hug, smirking at Santana's glaring expression.

"You're welcome." She says to Brittany.

"Ahem. Fucked up person here, needing a shrink to talk to." Mercedes and Brittany breaks away, both laughing.

"Aw, San, you're just jealous." Brittany bounds back to Santana as the Latina scoffs.

"Yeah, right." Brittany pokes her flushed cheeks.

"Whatever you say, you big softie." Santana mock glares at her but there's a small smile playing on her lips and Brittany knows they're okay.

"You guys are adorable." Mercedes says from the middle of the room.

"I'd like her to be here when I talk today. She deserves to know about this and frankly, and though it hurts my ego to admit it, I don't think I can actually pull through an hour and a half without her." Santana says all without looking straight at Mercedes. Mercedes turns to Brittany, a smirk on her face.

"You're right. She is a softie." Santana glares at her.

"Listen here, Weezy…"

"Okay, let's put the name-calling aside. Take a seat so we can start." Mercedes waves the supposed threat. Brittany giggles and Santana finds herself losing the nerves. Mercedes and Brittany proceed to sitting down and when they notice that Santana isn't following them, Brittany looks questioningly at her. She opens her mouth to ask if she's okay but Santana raises a hand, her lips are pursed, her eyes unsure.

"I need you to close your eyes. You too, Weezy."

"What?" Mercedes and Brittany ask at the same time.

"I'm going to show you something but I need you to close your eyes first until I tell you I'm ready." Santana explains quietly. "Please." Both looks unsure and worried but they listen to what Santana's saying. The brunette takes a deep breath to calm herself.

Slowly, she takes of her blazer and soon her long sleeves. The cold air hits her skin and she shivers. She moves to stand in front of Mercedes and Brittany and faces away so that her back is on them. She wonders if it's going to be worth it in the end. She wonders if after this emotionally draining experience, she'd finally be able to move forward instead of being stuck with the "what ifs" and bargaining.

"You can open them now." For a couple of seconds, the silence becomes too much for Santana. And then she hears Brittany gasp.

"San… What even – …" Brittany finds herself unable to finish the question. Santana is standing in front of her with nothing on top but a black bra. But that's not what got her attention. A web of white skin stretches out on Santana's supposedly brown back. It branches out from a round scar on the center and from there; it branched out on different directions. The white comes in shocking contrast with the brown that it makes them wonder how she survived.

"When the police found me, the fire was almost gone. I was unconscious but before I blacked out, I was able to get my mom and my sister's… bodies… with me. I couldn't find my dad. When I woke up, I was being rushed to the ambulance. I don't know how I made it. But it was painful as hell. Apparently, the fire had burned most of the skin on my back, so much that these scars won't fade anymore." Santana pulls her clothes back on and when she turns to face them, they could see the desperation on her face.

"I'm sure there's a reason why you showed us your scars." Mercedes prompts her gently. Santana makes her way beside Brittany and sits down with her face in her hands. Brittany is shell-shocked and speechless, her heart aching so much it makes her wonder how much it hurt for Santana.

"I haven't seen it since the first time they removed the bandages. It reminds of what I lost. It reminds me the truth that I'm willing to give my fucking life just to have another five seconds with my family. The mere thought of it releases a thousand desperate thoughts in my head."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I feel scared. I am terrified of myself because I know me. I know that if – if I let go, I'd do anything, anything to see them and be with them." Mercedes nods sympathetically. Brittany shuffles closer and Santana feels grateful for the warmth.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"I'm thinking that if God really does exist, I'd really like him to listen to me. What do I have to do to get them back? What do I have to give up for another moment with them? What do I have to promise to get to tell them 'goodbye, I love you'?" Santana takes a deep breath. There. She'd finally laid it out.

Brittany feels fear blossom in her chest. She reaches out, saying nothing and everything at the same time as she takes Santana's hand in hers. She won't look at her and that scares Brittany more than anything. The thought of being without Santana rips her apart. Even so, Brittany holds on tight to Santana as if she's grounding her to here – to where she is right now. Beside her.

"It's sick I now." Mercedes shakes her head. She puts down her notebook and caps her pen and then she looks at Santana.

"You're on the bargaining stage of grief. It's normal."

"Normal? Nor mal my ass. I'm willing to commit suicide goddamn it!" Santana snaps.

"I know. And that's why you have to find a reason to stay. You have to find something that's worth living for. I'm not saying that it's okay to think of suicide. I'm telling you to choose life. But for whatever reason, I have no idea. You are the only one who can tell me what it is." Mercedes says clearly and firmly.

"What if I don't find it?"

"You will. I'm sure." Mercedes chances a glance the blonde who had been silent through the conversation. Brittany looks like she's about to cry but Santana's too ashamed and scared among other feelings to turn to look at her.

They stay for the remaining 15 minutes of the session. The room is silent but for the downpour of rain outside. Brittany had not said a word yet and Santana doesn't push her. She's still here, at least, Santana thinks to herself. By the end of the session, Brittany lets go of her hand and stands up to hug Mercedes again. This time, she remains silent and Mercedes understands. Santana nods at her, worried eyes following Brittany's retreating form.

"You should follow her." Mercedes says.

"I know." Santana rushes out to follow Brittany to the elevator. The silence is awkward and Santana's getting worried every second that ticks by.

"Britt?" Brittany doesn't respond and Santana doesn't push it. As soon as she steps out of the elevator, Brittany rushes to the door, not even bothering to grab their umbrella.

"Britt!" Santana exclaims. She follows her to the door and stops under the shelter. Brittany doesn't pay heed to her and instead steps into the rain. "Britt, what are you doing? It's pouring!" Santana says through the rain.

Brittany raises her head, her face meeting the hundreds and thousands of droplets. Her loose shirt gets soaked and her jeans too. But she doesn't mind right now.

I'm willing to commit suicide goddamn it!

Her heart constricts painfully at the thought of a world without Santana. She realizes that if Santana leaves this life, she'd barely be able to live her life as well. After all, right now, Santana is her life.

"B!" She hears Santana call her. The tears are running down her face, the hot liquid a contrast to the freezing rain. But Brittany doesn't mind. In fact, it feels comforting. "Brittany, please." She barely heard it all but the words fill her with a fire she didn't know could burn. She turns to face Santana. The brunette melts under her gaze and she could see the worry in the brown pools. She moves toward her and when she's three feet away from her, Brittany extends her hand.

"Dance with me." Santana looks at her as if she'd grown three heads.

"It's raining." She deadpans but Brittany doesn't waver. She could see the blonde look desperate.

"Dance with me, San." She begs.

Santana stares at her for a moment longer, hesitant and afraid. But the look in Brittany's eyes breaks her and all she can think of when she takes the offered hand is how she hates that look. The look of hopelessness and desperation does not suit her.

Brittany takes Santana's hand in hers and places the other on her waist. Santana shivers but they both know that it's not from the rain.

"B…" She says. But Brittany's looking deep in her eyes as if she's searching for something. Santana doesn't even realize that they've begun waltzing until she stumbles on the slippery sidewalk. The blonde catches her and uses the opportunity to pull her closer to her, relishing in the warmth of life from Santana. She buries her head into the crook of Santana's neck, inhaling her scent.

She can't live without this. She can't live without her.

It's not possible.

"I need you to choose to live." Brittany whispers. Santana suddenly realizes what's happening and her eyes tear up at the feeling of hot liquid that she knows is not rain. Brittany grips her tighter and it almost becomes painful except for the fact that they fit so perfectly with each other that they could be one person. She could hear her heart pound, the blood coursing through her veins. She could feel Brittany's heart beat fast against her. Santana rakes her fingers through blonde hair, trying to calm her down.

"I know it's going to sound selfish and bad. But San, I need you to live if not for yourself then for me. Let me be the reason you wake up every day and I'll take care of you for all my life if I have to. Just… You can't leave me. Not now when I love you so much that it hurts to think of you not here. But if you really want to go, then take me with you. I'm not… I can't live without you." Brittany sobs against her. Even now, with Santana in her arms, the thought scares her. Santana feels pain shoot through her at the idea of a still and lifeless Brittany.

"Stop." She says weakly into Brittany's hair.

"Stay. Please, San. Tell me you'll stay. Please." Brittany begs. They're both soaked now and it's cold as hell. But neither seemed to notice, both caught in desperation. Brittany's heart breaks a little more when Santana pulls away just enough to cradle her face. There's a kind of sadness in her eyes that Brittany will never understand fully but she holds on more to the hope in there too. Santana uses her thumbs to wipe the tears. The blonde doesn't know how she can tell between the tears and the rain. Santana looks straight at her, her soul bare, her heart aching.

"I'm not going anywhere." She says quietly. Brittany hears it anyway and the tears are renewed. She surges forward, claiming Santana's lips. It starts out desperate and hard but Santana coaxes her to a soft, heart-melting kiss. They kiss unhurriedly. They kiss as if it's life itself and in a way, maybe it is.

"Dance with me." Brittany says as soon as they break apart. Santana smiles sweetly at her and lets Brittany take the lead.

Under the rain she used to hate, Santana finds a reason to keep breathing and the rain doesn't seem so cold anymore.

A/N: I didn't reach two weeks! I'm proud of me. Hahaha. Anyway, thank you so much for all the reviews, story alerts, and favorites. Also, for the anonymous reviews and the people who disabled their PMs, you don't know how much I want to reply to your review. thank you. I love you all. I know you may be getting sick of me saying it but hey, I really do love you people. You don't know how much it means to me when you show me that you read this story. I hope you liked this chapter.

Tell me what you think?

Brittana (one and the same),

theangel1710