{.x.o.} | Rapture's Remorse | {.o.x.}
{x| Chapter 10: Reliance |x}
"I was surprised," a sultry voice that he knew oh so well cooed as she withdrew her silk scarf from around her milky neck to let it drop on the desk as she crossed her legs and leaned against it, no matter where she was, no matter what she did, her vixen aura radiated about her. Who would have ever thought that shed need to pay for sex?
Therein lies the rub, though, she didn't, she just liked to. She needed the complete domination that it guaranteed.
"I haven't heard from you in so long, I heard you quiet the biz," Kaguya kept up as her waves of ebony with a hint of blue cascaded over one of her shoulders, "I was rather proud, I think perhaps more words got through that infamously thick skull of yours, Shin?"
"It won't shock you," Inuyasha wearily began as he rubbed his arm and glanced away, "that I was an addict."
"Was?" She coaxed with a tilt of her head, "as in, past-tense, as in… no longer? Is that where you've been, rehab?"
"Yeah," something like that at least, "two months sober now."
"Bravo," she cheered and even freed her hands from her sassy pose to clap, "did my words get to you or… a friend, a girl perhaps?"
"Girl that happens to be a friend pretty much pushed the verdict onto me," he sighed as he folded his arms.
"Ow," she grinned, "I'd like to meet a girl that can force such a stubborn boy to do anything."
"She's a fiery one, that's for sure," he muttered as his feet shuffled around before he decided to finally get to the point, "she's pretty much been supporting my financially this whole time… I think she's rolling in it but I really hate that she…"
"I bet you would," Kaguya laughed lightly, "so you are coming to me for help? Perhaps that offer I once extended you is not yet expired?"
"That's what I was hoping," he muttered, "I don't know what good I'd be but… I'd do anything."
She hummed as she folded one arm in front of her generous bosom while her other hand went up t her chin as her eyes mulled him over, "my clientele is needy but I bet you'd be able to deal with them. Some of them will ask you for some pretty strange things but… if you are willing to be placed in an at-risk job then I think I have something that would fit you perfectly. More importantly," she winked, "you would make a shit load of money, sweetie."
"Sounds good to me," he grinned. It would probably just be in his best interest keep this little tidbit of info to himself for the time being… but how could he keep a secret from a girl that was already around?
[…]
Control over a fire is easily lost just like that of love: both keep you warm, both can aid you, but sometimes they can kill you too—they are creators and destroys. Love… is as capricious as the flickers fire brings. But love had one thing on fire, it was painful, worse than any burn could be. Physical agony could heal; medicine could dull the sensation, but emotional turmoil? Some were impossible to rid oneself from.
She was weak though she yearned to be otherwise, tears still stung at her eyes from such thoughts as she whipped her face clear of what she wished no longer fell. Sometimes, it was needed, sometimes, such thoughts could not be silenced, sometimes, the tears were rejuvenating. Just… not that time. She took in a shaky breath as she set her mug down and wrapped her arms around her legs to stare up at the sky filled with stars, that was why she lived outside the center of Tokyo, it was nearly impossible to see those hopeful glimmers in the citylights… that and the house was left to her there.
"I'm a bad person," she confessed as her fingers danced up to her simple golden cross, "I'm sorry for that. I'll repent for my sin forever… but you won't release me from this remorse, will you? It's a punishment, isn't it? I can't take it anymore…"
Just like every other time, there was no reply, not that she expected one. With another sniffled sigh she closed her hands to grasp the necklace tighter, "should I come clean?" For a flicker of a moment she felt a warmth in her aching heart that she hadn't in so long, a sign, a whisper—yes.
"I'll do that, I promise… just give me some time to build up some courage. I'm not as strong as you."
So she shut her eyes once more to wrap her blanket around her shoulders and leaned down on the couch to go to sleep, it was just as comfortable as her bed, if not more so why bother to go up the stairs?
Her last coherent thought before falling into slumber was—is Inuyasha alright? Had he slipped? Did he do something he'd regret… should she not have left?
[…]
"Inuyasha!" Kagome chimed as she knocked over and over upon his door, she had a key, she could just go in, but she felt that she should show him some respect, that she was willing to give him his space, that his studio was still his and that she wouldn't infringe on that as long as he stayed good.
Yet there was no answer… a terrible twist formed in her gut as she kept her pounding up, "Inuyasha!"
"Stop it already!" A rash growl from behind her demanded, startling her enough that she jumped around to look at the glaring old man from across the hall, "you annoying girl! Always coming by, always shouting, shut the fuck up already!"
"I'm… sorry," she murmured.
"You—!"
"You shut the fuck up," a familiar coarse voice snarled as the door she leaned against opened up so that she fell into his chest, "go back into your place, you hermit. If I ever catch you yelling at my girl I'll beat the shit out of you."
"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered, "that's so rude."
"You know what?" he grunted as yanked her in and kicked the door closed, "he's right, you are really loud. It's too damn early for your yakking."
"It's well past noon," she rejoined as he let her go so she could turn around to look at the apparently just awoken hanyou, "how is it you can sleep so late?"
"How is it that you can get up so early?" He countered as he stretched his arms above his head before plopping down on his raggedy red couch, "I'm going back to sleep, you can do whatever you want."
"You sound chipper, better then usual, did having a night alone make you feel better?" She teased with a giggle while she ventured to the fridge to find some of the juice she had bought.
"I didn't do any drugs, if that's what ya' are trying to get at," Inuyasha grunted as he wrapped his arms around himself and rolled over on his side to face the back of the couch. "I'm clean, I'm gonna stay clean, I told you that."
"Right," she murmured, "so you can find your sister…?"
"Yeah," he yawned, "that's all I wanna do. I'll be good, so don't worry."
"I trust you," she assured as she poured herself a glass, pausing for a moment in the process, "Inuyasha… have you drank any of the juice? The pomegranate one?"
"Maybe, I don't remember," he replied, "why?"
"Did you drink it right out of the jug…? Like you do with the orange juice?"
He couldn't help but grin at the appalled tone she used, "no."
"You are lying, Inuyasha!" She gasped, "that is so unhygienic! Other people drink from this stuff! Now I just wasted a whole glass of juice!"
"It's my place," he countered.
"I bought this juice," she retorted.
"Whatever," he snickered; it would only be a short while longer that she'd be the one buying his groceries. "You don't have a job, do ya', Kagome?"
"Why do you ask?"
"'Cause you are always here to annoy me, I gotta figure you are just loaded because of family money or something, huh?"
"I swear we've had this conversation before," she sighed as she slowly walked up to the back of the couch to rest upon it.
He shook his head, "I don't think so. Is that your way of saying 'no comment'?"
"Why are you asking all of a sudden? Do you want me to leave you be?" She pouted as she folded her arms upon the top of the couch to stare down at his peaceful façade—was he truly that convicted to his new goal? Was the idea of relocating his sister that precious to him that he would willingly endure the withdraw from there on out? She couldn't help but ache at the thought, at the intensity of his love for another.
"I just need space," he countered, "I don't think there's anything wrong with that."
"Ouch, that's what people say because a 'let's start seeing other people' statement is added," she taunted.
"If you haven't noticed yet, I'm not a people person," he muttered as he opened his golden orbs to look up at her, "I really will go crazy if I have to live the rest of my life under your microscope, you said you trust me… so prove it. I have a reason to stay clean, a damn good one if you ask me; I'm not going back to that stuff… I'm kinda getting used to the whole sober sensation."
"OK," she softly assured, "whenever you need some 'time alone' just tell me."
"Great," he grinned, "now leave me alone so I can sleep."
"No," she dragged out, "it's such a waste to sleep such a pretty day away."
"You are such a pain in my—"
"Eh, eh, eh," she wagged her finger at him, "no cursing."
"You are going to drive me crazy," he grumbled as he dragged his hand down his face.
[…]
She trusted him, she should, she knew it, what had he done to not earn it? But… there was just something odd about all the times he looked at his phone then to her, saying the magic three words 'I need space' and then disappearing. Why did he need it all of a sudden…? Away from his studio? She understood if it was in his place but outside…?
She tried not pry, she tried to think the best of it but… when her priest friend inquired about the same odd occurrence while him and Inuyasha were out doing this and that then she became more concerned. Sango even became curious about what he was up to; generally that nurse couldn't have cared less but…
What was he up to?
It was wrong, oh-so wrong, but she followed him one of those nights when he stated that he 'needed some time'. It was difficult; she had to wear an oversized hoodie to make sure he didn't notice her and a boat-load of foul smelling cologne so he wouldn't pick up on her scent. Miroku told her not to do that, Sango shook her head, but she did so anyway. Through the dark streets, his head always turned to look over his shoulder—where was he going that he had to do such a thing every turn?
Did he fall off the wagon and she just didn't notice over the third month of soberness? No… she would have, right? Then what was he up to?
Alcohol? That would have been the easy answer when she saw him enter a bar, with a deep breath she followed him in to watch from the far end as he went up to the bar to meet with someone, from the distance she could tell out the essentials. A tan, toned man with long brown hair held up in a pony-tail and pointed ears, perhaps even crystal blue eyes?
Who was that? A friend?
How awful… she stalked him while he went to meet a friend, he didn't even order a drink in the half hour that she spent watching him. Nothing but guilt set in. She had to cleanse herself of her misdeed as she left the bar and gave the hoodie away to the first homeless man she came across then hopped into a cab to ride across town to her sanctuary.
The place that could give her some sort of solace, the church where she first confessed her sin that she could never take back…
"I'm sorry," she whispered after she had made the sign of the cross and knelt down at the pew, "I shouldn't have done that. I just… I'm sorry. I'm worried about him… I really think that I might like him more than I'm meant to. I can't help but care…"
For she was nearly certain of one thing, the heart that beat inside her chambers now… throbbed and lived on for him and him alone.
[…]
It was a hassle she hadn't minded for a while, the long train ride between her home and his followed by the trek through his not-so-nice part of town and up his crappy apartment building to knock on the door that took forever to open up but, for some reason, that morning she did. She simply wasn't in the mood and couldn't figure out why… he wasn't doing anything wrong, was he? He hadn't gotten himself into trouble had he? After all she had done to keep him safe, all she was willing to sacrifice for him, had he betrayed her trust?
Did she even have a right to think like that?
"Inuyasha," she sighed loudly as she tapped on his door once more, "it's almost one you really should be awake."
A slow set of footsteps caught her intention instead as she glanced down the hallway to watch as a familiar figure walked up the stairs, his silver tresses were in disarray as he rubbed his head and yawned, the groggiest look upon his face. He was actually dressed well for once, a white button-up long sleeve shirt, a pair of black slacks, and a nice jacket. Where'd he get them…? Though, they weren't kept pleasant looking, he had his sleeves rolled up, his collar undone, his jacket slung over his shoulder—he looked like such a mess, what had he been up to?
She'd seen that look on him before and the lipstick smuggest she caught sight of on his collar helped reinforce the terrible feeling in her gut.
"Kagome," he greeted with another yawn as he dug into his pockets to find his keys and open the door, "what are ya' doin' here so early?"
"Seriously, Inuyasha?" She snapped back, "it's one in the afternoon."
"Is it?" He mulled over as he walked in, holding the door open enough so she could stomp her way in and cross her arms under her rather large bosom, "what?"
"Are you just now getting back from your 'time out' last night?"
"And what if I am?" He countered with a narrowed gaze, "what's it to you?"
"Don't even try that with me," she ordered, "what were you doing last night?"
"I wasn't doing any drugs," he assured as he threw his jacket down upon the couch and headed to his fridge to pull out his jug of orange juice to drink straight out of—just to annoy her, like it always did.
"Well, if you weren't doing any then why won't you tell me what you were doing?" She insisted as she walked up to the counter that separated them and placed a hand firmly down upon it and with her other pointed at his collar, "you have some pink lipstick there, by the way."
"Jesus, women," he scowled, "you know what you're acting like? Some freakin' crazy, jealous girlfriend, just leave me be."
She might have argued with him as he slammed the juice back into the fridge and walked over to his closet to change but she was far to stunned to think of something so trivial anymore, instead she didn't budge from her spot as she stared wide-eyed at nothing at all. He was… right, that was exactly what she was acting like. Sure, she had seen that look on him before, sure it had always been after she had followed him to his previous-employment but it wasn't until she saw the lipstick that she got truly angered. Was she jealous that he might have been out the night before doing a little something-something with some hoochy? Wait, why did the girl have to be a hoochy? She shut her eyes as she pressed her lips together.
What was wrong with her…?
"I'm sorry," she murmured as she placed a hand on her head once he walked back into her proximity, "I don't know what's gotten into me lately… since I woke up this morning I haven't been feeling very well and I'm taking it out on you, I am sorry, Inuyasha."
Generally, she didn't lose her temper with him—actually, he couldn't think of one time prior where she had and he hadn't deserved it like, for instance, pulling her into the tub with him that one time… so he could let it go, everyone had bad days, but he couldn't help but ask as he walked up to stand right next to her, "you mean not well as in ill?"
Her hazels flickered up to him to see where his stare was, if anyone else chose to gawk at her breasts like that she would have scolded them but he wasn't being perverse, just considered. That brought a smile to her lips as she raised her hand up to the left side of her chest, "no, it's not that. I feel fine, I'm just in a bad mood, I guess."
"Oh," he nodded as he flicked his nose, "you are PMSing, huh? I should have noticed that."
"Inuyasha!" She shrieked, he couldn't help but chuckle at that, "that's so rude! Please learn some manners!"
"Stop you're whining, woman," he grinned.
She just puffed out in irritation once more, "I've come over so we could buy some groceries, I noticed yesterday you were running low on supplies."
"Don't worry, I've got it under control," he shrugged nonchalantly as he walked over to sit upon his couch.
"Please, can we not have this argument this one time?"
"I'm not arguing," he countered, "I've really got it under control, so don't worry about that anymore, or paying my rent."
"Inuyasha…" she murmured as she walked over to him, her hands upon her hips. For the first time in quite a while, she was certain he was serious, "you come back from being gone all night looking like a mess… lipstick stains… and now you have money?"
"What are you implying, woman?" He snickered back.
"You know what I am," she whispered with a frown, she hadn't that she had to… but what else made sense?
"That's about right," he sarcastically chuckled, "where'd all that trust you were yakking about go?"
"What am I supposed to think, Inuyasha?" She inquired, "where'd this sudden influx of money come from if not from… your former work?"
"I got a job, crazy, right? Me, of all people, learning to be responsible?" He gripped, "who would have thought?"
"Inuyasha," she sighed, "stop giving me attitude, what is this 'job' of yours?"
"Keh, I work for this woman I know. She got me a job at her company; she caters to purely female clientele, celebrities, diplomat's kids, and rich people, whatever. I'm a body guard, she thought I'd be good at it cause she knows I'm a good fighter and apparently I'm a 'protective' person," he ridiculed, "but it's an alright gig. I've been tending to this little freakin' diva Hitota Ayame for the past month though. I swear, sometimes I feel like if someone doesn't kill her, I will."
"Wait…" Kagome murmured before she knelt down on the couch next to him, "that sounds dangerous, a body guard? Inuyasha, maybe you shouldn't—"
"It's not, don't worry about it, she's got like five of us around her all the time and no one's tried anything yet. For the most part we just throw guys that want to fuck her too badly and won't leave her alone out of the clubs and bars and shitty places she keeps going to. It's terrible, I hate those places, she parties all the freakin' time, and I doubt she's very smart, either. But I get paid well and she really ain't in any danger, her daddy just owns a ton of business and has a shit-load of money to waste so he pays to have her baby-sat essentially."
"Are you sure…? Or are you just lying to try and make me feel better?"
"I'm sure. But, damn it, she makes me do the weirdest shit, too," he complained, "like I'm her maid or something, 'oh, Inu-puppy get me a bottle of sparking water', I mean, what the fuck? What the hell's the point of water the sparkles? Jesus, this girl ticks me off."
She grasped his lips together and shook his head, "stop cursing so much. Does this Hitota Ayame girl like you a bit too much?" She teased as she let her fingers slid down to his collar.
"She does that to all of us when she gets drunk," he grumbled.
"I see," she muttered as she tilted her head to the side and glanced up to his golden gaze, "Inuyasha… I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have accused you like that… it's just this month you've been acting so strange, I was worried. Next time, can you just tell me what's going on instead of keeping me in the dark?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he shrugged, though, he had only not told her to try and keep her from worrying. He knew the whole 'body-guard' part would cause anxiety to rise up in the fragile hearted girl.
He had a decent job, he was clean, and he was getting his life together… but that was all because of one goal, not her determination to keep him sober, but his own… for that pretty-fair-skinned sister of his, her smile faded at that thought as she slid off the couch to carry on another day in the dimness of the girl that was once there instead of her.
Again, to another darling man, she was overshadowed, too late…
A/N: I know I said I would pay pretty much sole attention to A Rose By Any Other Name but then I had some time and a strange surge of inspiration to write another chapter to this story so I figured, why study for my exam on Friday when I could write instead? It made sense to me :)
Please keep reviewing and thank you everyone that has.