Pre-Chapter Author's Mini-Rant: After the last chapter, I received a review that was frankly rather insulting and not at all helpful, full of name-calling and complaints even more vague and tenuous than canon Kuno's grasp of reality. I'll refrain from responding to the content of this "review," mainly because there wasn't anything in it of any substance to respond to, but in the future, if you're going to leave a negative review, at least leave a name, cite specifics, and avoid being insulting so I'll know I'm not just being anonymously flamed.
DISCLAIMER: Closed captioned for the hearing impaired.
"Adventures in Womanhood"
by Ranchan2k3
Chapter 10
I've decided: I am never becoming rich. Why? Because money causes lunacy, that's why.
At least, that's my conclusion, anyway.
Let me explain.
Recently, as you know, my friend Akane got recruited as the substitute opponent against Kodachi the Black Rose in a Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics contest. What you don't know is that Kodachi heard of this and apparently decided that this was sufficient reason to attack Akane in the middle of the freaking night. I wasn't there, so I heard about it from Akane the next day. Akane's better than Kodachi in straight hand-to-hand, so she fended off Kodachi's attacks and forced her to retreat.
Of course, that wasn't going to be the last of Kodachi's attempts at incapacitating Akane before their match. Guess who showed up at Furinkan the following morning with bad intentions in mind...
"Akane Tendo, prepare to die!," came the haughty-sounding shout of a girl as a figure descended upon Akane from the sky. Turning at the last second, Akane reached up and caught the business end of a shinai in her hand. Grasping the other end was Kodachi, in the St. Hebereke school uniform.
Akane growled. "Attacking me at night wasn't bad enough, now you want to ambush me before I even get to class in the morning?!"
Kodachi huffed indignantly. "I am most assuredly not here to 'ambush' you. I am merely confirming that you are as good as the rumors say. I would also like to greet whoever you are training under."
"That would be me," spoke up a soprano from behind Kodachi, icy venom in her voice. Kodachi froze, then looked over her shoulder. Standing there was a scarily calm Ranma, eyeing Kodachi as if the St. Hebereke gymnast was little more than a piece of meat.
"You have exactly five seconds to explain to me why you're pouncing on my best friend and student with a shinai," stated Ranma in a chillingly calm tone of voice. "If I don't like you're answer, I'm mailing you back to St. Hebereke in pieces."
Kodachi sweated nervously for a moment, then produced her ribbon. "V-Very well, I have seen what I wished to. Farewell!" With an insane cackle, Kodachi twirled her ribbon, producing a shower of black rose petals. When the storm passed, Kodachi was gone.
Ranma and Akane stared at the spot Kodachi had been standing in, then at each other.
"Somethin' ain't right in that girl's head," opined the red-head. Akane could only nod in agreement.
There was one more attempt a week later, also at school, but that time Kodachi was fended off by Kuno, her own brother! That guy is steadily earning my respect. Who knew there was an honorable samurai's soul underneath all that delusion?
I remain firmly convinced that Kuno's harrassment of Akane was the product of Kodachi's drugs.
Anyway, time passed, and Akane got better and better at Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics. I can't believe how much potential that girl has! She'll likely never even come close to approaching my level, but she could still become one of the top five percent on the planet if she's trained properly.
And her father just wanted her to be the housewife and pass the dojo on to me? Gah, that guy's just as sexist as my old man was. He doesn't need a male heir; the female one he's got is plenty, or would be if he'd trained her with any seriousness.
I can tell, serious training is something she's badly wanted ever since her Mom died. She soaks it up like a sponge.
Note to self: Beat some sense into Soun Tendo at the first opportunity.
Ahem. Anyway, the day came for the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics contest. Akane was ready. I attended as her second. Kodachi tried one last bit of subterfuge before the match by hiding thumbtacks between her fingers when she went for a handshake, but I spotted it in time.
She attended the match with a bandage on her cheek.
The bleachers were crowded with attendees from both Furinkan High School and St. Hebereke School for Girls, all there for the match in the St. Hebereke gym. The ring was ready (after being investigated by Ranma ten minutes prior, resulting in a flood of Kodachi's teammates being chased out of the gym) and now it was time for the contestants to be introduced.
The ring announcer, of course, handled the introductions. "Introducing first, in the red corner, representing Furinkan High School, Akane Tendo!" Akane waved to the crowd as the Furinkan half cheered.
"And in the blue corner, representing St. Hebereke School for Girls, the undefeated Champion of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, Kodachi Kuno!" Amidst a display of fireworks and pyrotechnics, Kodachi appeared, being lowered on a trapeze with a black rose stem clutched between her teeth while a cloak draped across her shoulders. The crowd of St. Hebereke supports, naturally, went wild at the appearance of their champion. Dropping the rose, Kodachi vaulted from the trapeze, landing lightly on her feet in the ring.
The referee explained the rules, and then the match was on.
Akane opened the contest with the clubs, which Kodachi fended off with her ribbon. It only took Akane a moment to get inside the ribbon's effective range, surprising Kodachi enough for Akane to employ the club like a cudgel, bashing Kodachi on the head. The dazed gymnast stumbled, and Akane followed up with the rope, wrapping it around Kodachi's ankle and hauling the Kuno girl off her feet.
Unexpectedly, Kodachi rolled with the landing, dodging the club strike that would have surely relieved her of consciousness, then she sprang to her feet, calling for her razor hoop and hurling it at Akane. Akane managed to deflect it with her club, only to stare as the club was neatly sheared by the impact, leaving her holding a nub.
"Hey!" came Ranma's objection from Akane's corner. "There's razor blades on that thing!"
"The tools she has are legal, ma'am," came the referee's response.
Ranma growled, then began plotting while Akane dodged repeated ribbon strikes from Kodachi. 'Alright, Saotome, think,' she thought to herself. 'A hoop with razor blades is perfectly legit. That means Kodachi probably has other little cheats built into her weapons.' Nodding to herself, Ranma picked up a ball, then began infusing it with ki. Once she felt a sufficient charge had built up, she called out, "Akane!" Then she tossed the ball into the air over the ring. Nodding, Akane leapt into the air, then spiked the ball towards Kodachi. Kodachi disdainfully moved to deflect the ball with her ribbon...only for everyone in the gym to be surprised as the ball exploded like a grenade as soon as Kodachi's ribbon made contact. When the smoke cleared, Kodachi looked to be covered in a fine layer of soot and blinking in surprise, while her ribbon was now mangled and useless.
The girl on commentary preempted any objections from Kodachi. "What a surprise! The Furinkan challenger and her second have managed to replicate Champion Kodachi's famous Ball Bomb attack! What surprises will the challenger pull out next?!" Kodachi silently fumed while Ranma smirked. 'That means ya can't even object, 'cause it's one of your own cheats,' thought Ranma in satisfaction.
Kodachi produced her clubs. "I see I shall have to resort to extremes to exterminate a cockroach such as yourself. Prepare yourself...for the Attack of...a Thousand Clubs!" Pouncing in Akane's direction, Kodachi soon began to unleash a veritable storm of club strikes, which Akane desperately blocked with her own clubs.
Narrowing her eyes, Ranma watched the attack. 'That attack doesn't just look like she's usin' ten or twenty clubs...she actually is usin' ten or twenty of 'em,' she thought to herself. Nodding to herself, Ranma called for Akane's attention again, then tossed her a hoop. Leaping away, Akane snagged the hoop, then slung it at Kodachi, striking her club hand. A very surprised Kodachi ended up dropping twenty clubs from her suddenly open hand.
Rolling away, Akane scooped up a ribbon, then attacked before Kodachi could realize what was going on. Lashing out with the ribbon, Akane wrapped it around Kodachi, then hurled her into the air out of the ring. Kodachi merely brought two fingers to her mouth and whistled. Ranma raised an eyebrow, while Kodachi looked horrified when she realized the ring wasn't moving.
Thud!
"Ring out! Champion Kodachi has landed outside the ring! The winner is Akane Tendo!" With that announcement, the Furinkan crowd broke out into loud cheers, while a very stunned Kodachi sat on the floor outside the ring, wondering just what happened.
Ranma approached Kodachi and squatted in front of her, favoring her with a smile. "I cleared out your teammates from under the ring ten minutes before the match started. That's why the ring didn't move when you whistled. Sorry, you lost. Maybe next time you'll actually fight clean instead of tryin' to cheat against a practitioner of Anything-Goes." The red-head then stood up, turned, and walked over to join the celebration around Akane, leaving Kodachi to brood on today's events.
I don't know if my words actually registered in her head, but I sure hope they did so that girl can get the mental help she desperately needs.
I haven't even met him yet, but I'm already beginning to despise the Kuno kids' dad.
For what he's done to screw up his kids, principal or not, I think I might decide to seriously hurt this guy.
But that's for later. Now that the match is over, there's gonna be a victory party at the Tendo place. I understand there will be cookies, cake, and brownies, all prepared by Akane's oldest sister, Kasumi. Kasumi's cooking skills are second to none; not even my Mom can compare.
I will be sure to treat these divine baked goods with the proper reverence they require.
And after that, I'll be doing the job Akane's dad should've been doing all along: Training Akane in the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. And if Tendo starts blubbering about how Akane's got a sensei besides him, I swear I'm gonna belt him to Neptune.
Gotta go now. The party awaits!
End Chapter 10.
Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. Between a malfunctioning computer and my own writer's block, it was harder than it should've been to finish this thing. With any luck, future chapters won't take nearly as long to complete. Look forward to Chapter 11! Ja ne! ^_^