The Ninja Who Loved Me

Chapter 10: Love or More Blood

Author's note: 3 reviews? PLEASE! I'm begging for more!

Hitomi's hard decision, to be in love or to be in the Sukashi fully.

Also, the main couple in this story of mine is Sasuke and my OC, Hitomi, if you get confused with what she looks like, here it is.

Hitomi and Sasuke in this story are both 12.

Hair color: Black, long, and pulled back in long braided ponytail in the back. It goes down to her waist, and has bangs in the front that are close to her eyes, but not so much and they don't cover her eyes.

Eye color: Green.

Of The Hidden Sun and Moon Village

Outfit: Red shirt with a black jacket with black belt and black pants like Tsunade's. Her shirt is long sleeved without the jacket. Her jacket is with a Silver symbol of the Sun and Moon Clan, which is Half Sun and Half Moon together on the back., and on her sleeves Japanese writing that I would say "Sukashi" My assassin team that Hitomi is apart of. Her jacket is lined with red, And the Headband of the Sun and Moon, which she wears occasionally to hide her identity. And black sandals like every Ninja wears.

Powers: Her main weapons are the two swords that were saved from her village. She carries them both on her back, and they are both of medium size. The Sword of the Fire Spirits of the Sun Haruki, and the Sword of the Water and Ocean Spirits of the Moon, Nanami. With them, one is master of the sky itself. One's handle is golden and is decorated in rubies and emeralds on it as well. The jewels are in the shapes of diamonds. The end of the sword is a flaming Sun. The other's handle is pure silver and is like the other sword, decorated with diamonds and sapphires. The end is the symbol of the ocean. She can use Water and Fire Style Jutsu.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, (cries hysterically) but I do own Hitomi, who tells the story.

A week passed since I had seen Sasuke. I know that he was still awaiting my answer.

I decided to leave the village to think about what he had said. I went into the forests outside the Village and found my things and got out of my stupid dress that I had been wearing for over a month because I was too scared to leave the Village. Well no more. I'd had enough of this place, and it was a place my big brother loved so much. I got changed and back into my real ninja clothes, but did not take my swords out and put them on. I sat up in a tree, and looked at the moon. I was thinking, because I had a very important choice to make. I don't even know where to begin to even start thinking about it. How could I? This is a matter between life and death here. I was very familiar with death, I'd watched it and also caused it. My hands have been covered in blood before, but that was for something completely different. What am I saying? Murder is murder, no matter what reason you actually did it for. Did I really want them to be covered in blood again? And blood of person that meant so much to me that I was in love with them? I only wanted one person dead, and that was the one man that got away. Why couldn't I have found him? Why did I have to fall in love with a boy that I could never be with, and no to mention that I had to kill him. Sooner or later someone from the Sukashi and it didn't matter who it was, they would be wondering what I have been doing for the last month. If they find out that I've been watching the person I'm supposed to kill and worse fallen in love with him, who knows what they would do to him. They would probably kill him, and right in front of me. Knowing me, I would probably foolishly try to protect Sasuke, even though he deserves to die. But did I really want to be the cause of that? I couldn't ever kill him. The last time I did...well...we all know how that ended, and I know full well that I cannot even kill him. Even if I wanted to, and I can't even do it at all. How could I? I loved him so much, just how could I? But if I didn't, the Leaf Village will be in extreme danger and not to mention he'll be the one that will completely change the people of this village forever. What could I do? I was torn between my loyalty to the people who saved my life, and the love of my life, who gave me something actually to live for and also something that I could actually feel. I couldn't believe that I was even consider choosing between the two. What had Sasuke done for me? Ruined my life and also put me in the position that I'm in now. What could I possibly do now?

The Sukashi had taken care of me since I was a little girl, but they never given me a reason for living. My reason for living, or at least what I thought it was, was just sending more and more people to their deaths. Whether they were innocent or not, it was still cold blooded murder, even if I wasn't the one doing all the killing. It made me sick to think about how I said I would never kill another human being other than the one man that had gotten away from me when I killed the rest of the people who murdered my village and burned it to the ground. In reality I was just as bad as the people that killed my village. Why was I realizing this now and not earlier in my life? I thought I was doing something right with my life. But I really didn't know anything about it at all. Should I stay with the Sukashi? I didn't even have a desire to go back, nor did I have the desire to kill Sasuke like I thought I would have after so long but no. I just had to fall in love with the first guy I see and then find out later that I have to kill him! Ugh, why was I even considering being with Sasuke? Even if I did try to be with him, the Sukashi would find out and then kill him. The big question was: did I want to be with Sasuke, or did I want to keep taking lives and becoming as bad as the one man who planned the murder of my village? I didn't want that, nor did I want to betray the Sukashi, nor did I not want to be with Sasuke. Again, why am I even considering that I want to choose Sasuke over the people who saved my life. I was a gigantic idiot girl, this answer should come really easily to me.

Yet it isn't.

Sasuke will grow up drenched in evil, eventually will join the demon Orochimaru, and will become a murderer and a traitor and break the hearts of the people who loved him. And unless I killed him, this would happen. If I even attempted to be with this boy, I'd never forgive myself if the prophecy came true. I think I would go insane if the prophecy came true. The part of me that loved him, wanted to see that that never happens to him. I didn't want him to grow up to be a bloodthirsty monster. That cruel desire to protect him and never have anything touch him was taking over me. I wanted things that I had never desired before in my life, and now, I wanted them more than anything. The desires I wanted, stung me like a million spikes all over my body. I wanted to live a normal life, spend the rest of that life with him by my side, have his children, and worst of all, leave the Sukashi. Why would I ever leave the Sukashi for this boy I just met? Hell, I don't even know anything about him other than the fact that he will become so dangerous in the future, and even want to destroy this village and everyone in it. What is wrong with me? I don't even know who I am anymore. I could never have a normal life, I had been sworn to the Sukashi since I was eight years old. To leave for nothing would be suicide for someone like me. After the destruction of my village, I could never again have a normal life.

I had to try to kill him again, no matter what cost. This is the best thing for both of us, and it needs to happen. He has to die, or else more and more people will suffer in the future. My brother loved this village. Everynight when he would come home from missions, he would never stop talking about all the friends and people that he met here. Just before he was murdered in front of me, he told me of all the places he had ever seen, the Hidden Village in the Leaves, was truly the most beautiful and grand of them all. Do I really want to see Sasuke in front of this village when it's up in flames? Do I really want to see him laughing hysterically at the thought of destroying this village, and actually enjoying it? Can I bear to watch him try to murder his comrades without a second thought? Can I really be that heartless? And watch this village suffer because I fell in love with Sasuke Uchiha at first sight? I cannot do that. I won't let that happen, and I have to kill him.

And it's going to be the hardest thing I will ever do in my entire life.

I would have to lure him away from the village. Killing him within the village is too risky. I'm a killer, and I need to be as heartless as I was on the day I killed the men who attacked my village. I will not watch another village be destroyed, when I have the power to protect it. I waited until the sun was down and waited until the time when I knew that he would return home. I sat on his roof, my swords on my back. The weapons that had touched so many people in my several jobs. The weapons that carried the blood of the bastards who took my family away from me. I thought that the only other blood that they would have would be the one man that got away from me. But I was wrong, and tonight, it would carry the blood of Sasuke Uchiha. I dropped the note that I had written onto the balcony. I knew fully that he would come out on the balcony everynight. And tonight would be no different. That note was my bait. It would lure him out just long enough for me to kill him. They would discover he was missing the next morning, and then eventually find his body. They would blame it on someone in the Village, but no one would ever think of looking for me. The note told him to come to the forest outside of the Village. It would be easy to kill him there. I heard voices down below, and I knew that I had heard them before.

"Sasuke! How about going out sometime?" Sakura's voice could honestly be heard for miles. "I know that it would be so much better than..."

"Forget it," Sasuke said in his monotone voice.

I thought it was very interesting how he acted so different around everyone else, and yet, when he was with me, he seemed so kind and gentle. With someone like Sakura, he seemed so dark and cruel. He was never like that whenever he was with me. But I didn't know why.

"Come on, Sasuke-kun!"

"What part of forget it don't you understand?"

I then heard the slamming of a door. I sat on the roof, far away so that he wouldn't see me. I still waited and waited for him to get the note so that he would be stupid enough to get far enough from the village. Sasuke's weakness was his feelings for me, and using that weakness would be enough for me to kill him. I heard the door to the balcony open and a few seconds later, I heard the front door to his apartment open. I watched him run out fast and down the street. That was way too easy. He didn't know that he would die tonight.

And for that, I cried.

I waited for him in the place where I told him that I would be, Haruki in my hands. The sword that could control the power of the sun itself, would be the sword that I use tonight to kill Sasuke Uchiha. It honestly broke my heart, but I would have to live with that forever. It was just a simple infatuation, and when I went back home to the Hidden Rain, that would be all it was to me. I would become a member of the organization that saved my life and had taught me everything I know. This boy that I just happened to notice at a party was not going to stand in my way of that. I hated him, and I honestly have no idea why I even fell in love with him in the first place. Well, no more. I know that ninja such as myself can never feel that emotion. If we let love take us over, we would not be classified as ninja. The emotion known as love takes you over, as alchol takes you over if you let it. I couldn't let this thing take me over. I was better than that. I shouldn't be feeling any guilt over killing Sasuke. I mean, I barely even knew him. I was not about to throw away my entire life for him. Not a chance I'm letting that happen. There was a stinging pain in my heart, as if I was fighting a knife being driven into my heart as I waited for him to come. I didn't even know how this could happen. I had made my decision and there is no way I'm changing my mind. Not a chance. I sighed and tried to ignore this insane agony in my chest. I waited for him to come. I fought back every single emotion that I had dared to let myself feel. How could I ever feel anything different then what I had felt all these years? Nothing. Ninja are not supposed to have emotions.

I then looked from my hiding spot as I heard someone approaching, closer and closer. I saw him, as I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I had to keep myself under control. He was out of breath, and began looking around for something. I took him in for the very last time. When I was done with him, he wouldn't look as beautiful as he did now. It made me completely almost regret what I was about to do. A single tear escaped my eye, and I wiped it against my sleeve very quickly. I would not let my emotions take me over. NO! I had to do this. I crushed my eyes and as I was about to prepare to strike, I heard the voice that stopped my world.

"Hitomi?" Sasuke said loudly. "Please come out. Please stop hiding from me. You have every right to hate me and despise me for whatever reason you've been sent here to kill me. But I need to tell you now that I really feel something strong towards you. And it's not annoyance, like I feel for every other girl. I felt it with you the very first moment I saw you, and I now want to know if you feel that way for me. And I know that I can never feel what I feel for you with another girl. Because without you, I don't know how I live. I've lived a few months without you, and it's torture. You and I know the exact same pain, and we are the same and we understand each other. Please come out and talk to me..."

I had to stop him before his words would trick me as they did that night. I sprang from my hiding place. And the next thing he knew I was right behind him, and as he looked behind to see me there, with my fingers, pressed some of his chakra points and when he attempted to spin around to get on the defense, I punched him in the face. And I used my legs to get him from standing to the ground. He still managed to avoid it, and brought out a kunai knife and charged at me. And then with the back of my sword, hit him in the stomach. His mouth began to spit out a little blood but that didn't affect me. He managed to escape some of my next attacks by flipping backwards, but he was really weak still. I grabbed his leg, and tossed his entire body into the ground. So as he was flipping backwards again, I went right behind him and hit one of the most vulnerable chakra points in his body. His neck, and he was on the ground, twitching. But he was still conscious.

So weak.

I stood over him, my foot pinning him to the ground, he winced as I raised the pressure into his rib cage, and raised my sword above his chest and was preparing to strike when I noticed there was something wet on his cheeks. Teardrops, and the worst part was, that they weren't coming from him. I realized slowly that they were coming from my own eyes. I raised my hand to my face, and felt the tears. I prepared to strike and I looked into the eyes that I had fallen in love with. I then slowly began to cry so much harder than I had anticipated. I then tried again to stab him again, when my arms wouldn't move again.

I stood there in absolute shock, as the ancient sword of Haruki fell my hands, and landed with a thud on the ground. I then fell to my knees. The tears fled down my face faster than any in all of human imagination.

Sasuke got up, and I in complete shock looked at him get up, after everything that he had gone through in the last few minutes. A normal person wouldn't be able to move after all of that, and yet he could.

"Hitomi."

I then became furious beyond all and any comprehention. I felt my fists turning into balls, my teeth clenching, and the tears falling from my eyes. I think at that point, you could've said I became like a wild animal. I threw my fists into the ground, and completely lost all control that I had attempted to have before.

"WHY? WHY? WHY?" I screamed.

"Why what?" Sasuke said calmly, as if I hadn't even tried to kill him.

"WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU? I'VE BROUGHT SO MANY OTHER CRIMINALS TO THEIR DEATHS BEFORE! I'VE EVEN BEEN PRESENT WHEN THEY GET EXECUTED AND YET I FEEL NOTHING WHEN MY MASTERS KILL THEM! I'VE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE, I NEVER EVEN FELT ANY REMORSE! AND YET I CAN'T EVEN KILL YOU! EVEN WHEN I ATTEMPT TO DO SO, ALL I DO IS JUST END UP WEEPING AND ENDING UP ON THE GROUND! WHY I AM SO WEAK?"

"You're not weak Hitomi," Sasuke started.

"YES! YES I AM! I CAN'T PROTECT MY FAMILY! I CAN'T FIND THE BASTARD WHO RUINED MY LIFE! I CAN'T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO KILL ANYONE ELSE BUT THE PEOPLE WHO RUINED MY LIFE. IF I WASN'T SO WEAK, MY FAMILY WOULD BE STILL ALIVE! I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE BACK HOME WITH MY PARENTS AND MY BROTHERS AND MY SISTER! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING TO BE ONE OF THE STRONGEST NINJA IN OUR VILLAGE AND EVENTUALLY TRAIN TO TAKE OVER FOR MY BIG BROTHER! I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE GRADUATED FROM THE ACADEMY AND LIVING THE LIFE YOU'RE LIVING! NOT BEING A ROGUE NINJA WITH NO PURPOSE IN MY LIFE! AND WHAT AM I DOING? I'VE BEEN SENT HERE TO KILL YOU AND WHAT HAPPENS TO ME BUT FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU? EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU, I STILL CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO KILL YOU! I AM SO WEAK! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!"

I then fell to the ground crying harder than I had ever cried before, and right in front of Sasuke. I didn't even care how he was reacting, I had gone completely insane. What was I doing here? What am I supposed to do even do in my life? I wanted to be back home to a family that loved and cared about me. I wanted that normal ninja life, the life that I would never have. I wanted to die. If I couldn't kill Sasuke, I couldn't even face the Sukashi, and I didn't even know what had become of my home now. I wanted to die. I didn't even care about being in the Sukashi fully or even killing Sasuke, because I knew I couldn't do either. I wanted nothing more than to die. Even revenge didn't even matter anymore. I knew that I would never find the man that killed my entire village.

As I was crying, I noticed Sasuke had pulled me into his arms, and I didn't even fight him. The way that he held me, was soothing and warm and safe. The way my father used to hold me whenever there was a thunderstorm. I just surrendered as he held me against him, warm and safe, slowly running his fingers down my braid and placed his chin on the top of my head. He then did the unthinkable when he lifted my chin up and kissed me again, long and deeper than they had been before.

"You're not weak," he said, between kisses. "You've been through so much, it's only natural that you should feel the way that you feel. You lost your village and your clan in one day. I understand. You're stronger than any other person I know. You've probably kept all those feelings locked up inside of you. You've endured pain and solitude as I have, and not only that, you became strong through it. I want to see that again."

"What does that mean?" I said through his lips, surprised I was even returning them.

He broke away and looked at me seriously.

"It means, I want you to fight me."

That's it! I hope you enjoyed it!

Next chapter: Hitomi vs Sasuke! Will she finally make a choice by the end of their fight?

You want another chapter? 2 or more reviews! I'll move it up when I get more reviewers! You know the drill! Read and review! Come on guys, I know you can do it! I need motivation!

Thank you until next time!

Signed

Kagomehater4ever