Authors Note: Here is the next chapter, thanks to all those still reading. A special thanks to lileycullen for reviewing the last chapter.

Saturday 5th October 2011

I went to therapy this morning. My therapist asked me about how things were and we talked about my relationship with Edward. She let me talk and then when I had finished she smiled at me and said "he sounds like a lovely young man. I do have one question though." I agreed with her and then frowned wondering what on earth she wanted to ask. "Why is it that you doubt your relationship so much? As I said before he sounds like he is a lovely young man and he doesn't seem to have given you any indication that he is going to leave you, so why worry so much?"

I just looked at her and cried. I have honestly never cried so much. I let out every fear I have with regards to my relationship with Edward. I explained how the only relationship I had ever had ended with me being a broken hearted, teenage, single mother. I am not saying that I regret you or being with your father because that gave me you. I am just scared to get too attached to Edward in case my heart gets broken. I guess I am just putting walls up around my heart to protect it. Once I had got everything out she handed me a tissue and wrapped her arms around me. I just sat there and just cried my eyes out. I kept thinking about everything and how I had written Edward off purely based on my past experiences with men. Edward had never given me any indication that he was going to leave me or that he was with me out of sympathy.

After the tears subsided I was able to see things with a clearer perspective. I decided I was going to go home, sit down and have a chat with Edward about everything. I think I would be kidding myself if I thought my insecurities would go away over night but knowing Edward he would help me work through him. Edward had been nothing but sweet, caring and honest with me and all I had done was shield my heart.

I asked my therapist how I can go about opening my heart up again after all that happened. She smiled and told me that opening up my mind is the best way. I looked at her completely and utterly confused. She laughed at my expression and explains that she meant that the best way to open my heart up to Edward is for me to tell him everything. When she says everything she means everything. So that is what I am going to do. No more avoiding awkward questions. No more hiding anything from him. If we want to have a long term relationship we need to have complete honesty. She told me to ask him about anything that may make him uncomfortable to talk about as this will help me to understand that I am not alone.

I left my appointment feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in months I could hold my head up high and smile a genuine smile. Edward was picking me up, we are going back to mine so I can get changed and then the three of us are going to his parents for dinner. I got into the passenger side of his car with a huge smile on my face. He kissed me and then smiled back at me "what has you so happy today?" he asked. Before I would have questioned why he wanted to know but after today I know he is saying it because he actually cares what the answer is.

"Today just went really well. She helped me to put things into perspective. I really want to have a chat with you later but I just want to say that I am sorry for shutting you out." He went to interrupt me but I stopped him. "Please just let me say this. I really care about you and I know you care about us too. My past experiences just made me hesitant to let anyone else in. I know this isn't going to happen overnight however, I am trying so hard to open up to you more. I don't want to ruin tonight because tonight is about us. Saying that I would really like to lay everything out for you tomorrow." I bit my lip and met his eyes.

He smiled at me reassuringly and replied "that sounds like a great idea. How about we make a picnic and go to the park again. You really enjoyed it there last time we went and we will be out the way of nosy parents too."

I laughed and agreed with him. By that time we had pulled up at my house. We got out the car and Edward went to the living room to wait for me. I ran up to my room to change and attempt to tame my hair. I went to the bathroom and washed my tear stained face. I threw on my white skirt and deep blue tank, then scrunched my hair, pinning back the front. I then quickly changed you into a pretty dress and threw everything in the baby bag. I headed downstairs just in time to overhear Edward and my dad talking. I heard my dad telling Edward to be careful with me as I have been hurt in the past. He explained to Edward that it is not his story to tell but he can tell that Edward is different and that maybe just maybe we might go the distance.

In that moment I could see it. Me in a white dress, Edward in a tux and you in a pretty little dress. I could see it all, a house with a big garden and more children. Edward will make an excellent father, of that I am sure. In that moment I knew that things will work out with Edward. No more waiting for things to go wrong. No more living for the here and now. I want that vision and I am going to try my hardest to make sure I get it. I finally realised what everyone has been trying to tell me. I deserve to be happy. I did nothing wrong. With that in mind I held my head high and walked into the living room. I decided I was going to go to dinner at Edward's house and make sure his parents loved me.

When we reached Edward's house his parents were there to greet us. We went in and sat in the living room with his brother, sister and their boyfriend/girlfriend. Edward excused himself to go and have a chat with his parents and left me sitting there on my own. Alice came over and sat next to me and started chatting away. She was telling how she knew we would be good friends. She asked if she could hold you and I said yes. She cuddled you close to her body chatting away to you. Edward came back and sat next to me wrapping his arms around me.

Soon Edward's parents called us into the dining room to eat. Rosalie, Edward's brother's girlfriend, still hasn't said a word to me. Everyone chatted over dinner I just kept quiet. Edward leaned into me and whispered into my ear "are you okay?" I just nodded. After dinner went a lot better I chatted to Edward's parents and siblings. Everyone seemed to get along and it was just Rosalie who seemed to be hostile towards me. At 9 I asked Edward to take me home so that I could get you down for the night.

That's all for tonight sweetheart. They never said life was easy, they just promised it was worth it. Until next time.

Mummy,

Xxx