Ch. 10
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Mandy
…
Anger. That's all I feel. How dare he kiss me! I pressed my hands up to his chest and shoved him off of me. My knee meets his groin with such force, it hurt my knee. Gale lets out a cry of pain. He's about to fall over on the ground, but I clench my fist. It meets his face with much power behind it. I feel a crack under my fist as I punch Gale. He falls to the ground.
There is a steady flow coming out of his nose, and there are purple splotches forming over his face. I kick him on his shin. He yelps out in pain and curses.
"How dare you!" I scream at him. Cato comes up behind me and marches straight to Gale. He picks up his shirt, making Gale level to Cato. Cato is literally picking Gale up off the floor. Gale's legs aren't on the floor. Gale whimpers in pain.
"You think you can just kiss her like that?" he yells, Cato is shaking Gale.
"I'm sorry!" he yells. Cato has his hands around Gale's neck, cutting off his oxygen. When Gale turns blue in the face, Cato shoves him to the ground. Peeta comes over to him, and tries to get him to calm down. Peeta has a red mark with finger indentions on his face, from where my palm became friendly with his face.
"Was that really necessary?" Peeta shouts.
"You want some?" I scream. I have my fist raised above my head, and Peeta cowards in fear.
"NO!" People are staring at us. Let them. Peeta is still trying Gale to lower his cries in pain. I'm sure Gale has a broken nose, and a very beat up leg. And there is a slight possibility that he may never be able to have kids. But Gale has known me.
Yeah, people may think that I took it too far with beating the shit out of Gale, but he knows me better then anybody. I had warned him before that if he ever tried to kiss me without my permission, I would kill him. But to kiss me in front of me boyfriend? I was surprised Cato didn't do worse, but I had already beaten him, and we didn't need murder charges on our hands.
Guilt overcomes me in a rush. Gale was family to me, and I had just broke his nose. I stifle a cry, but hold it in. I know Gale would never sue me, but like me, he would never forgive me. And I may never forgive him.
"Katniss?" Cato asks. There are tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I blink a couple of times. Cato has cooled down a little, but the vein popping out of his head tells me otherwise.
"We need to get away from here," I whisper. I lean down to Gale, who is nursing his nose. He has fear in his eyes when he sees me. He tries to back away, or rather crawl away, but to no avail. I lean down to him real quick and brush the hair out of his face.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. I then get up and walk away, before anyone could question my actions.
Cato's silent footsteps follow me. I am hugging myself, trying not to cry in public. I feel terrible for what I did, but there is a part of me that is satisfied. Its good to know that I can protect myself if anyone dared to mess with me.
I come to a stop near the exit of the park. I don't want to leave, but I don't think I can keep the big girl act up any longer. Cato sits next to me, but not too close. I respected him for that. Not trying to smother me, or treat me like a baby. But that's what I needed.
I scoot closer to him, and collapse into his arms. I don't cry, I'm not ready for that Cato just holds me and strokes my hair.
"Was I wrong?" I ask.
"What do you mean?" "To go that far,"
"Well if you didn't, I would have." he says. I nod my head, and feel the tears threaten me again. "Do you want to go?"
"Please," I beg silently. He hears it I guess, because the next thing I know, I am in his arms. He carries me out to the parking lot, and sets me gently into the passenger seat. When he makes it to the drivers side, I see Gale and Peeta walking out. Gale is limping and, Peeta is helping him to the car. No doubt they are going to the doctor.
I look away, and Cato pulls out of the park.
"Did I ever tell you how Gale and I met?" I ask cautiously.
"No," Cato says quietly.
"Well, our parents had always been friends. More our dads, then our moms. Our dads used to be in the army. Same unit and everything," it was painful to talk about, but I needed to. "Well, my dad… and his dad… we um…"
"You don't have to say it Katniss." "No, I have to. Our dads… were shot that day by the enemy. Both marines. My family didn't even know until we got the letter. After that, my mom shut down. She went into like, an crippling depression. We could barely make her eat, rather then cook. So I had to take over. I went into town in Texas, and begged people for a job.
I saw Gale too. He too was begging for a job. We ended up getting a job at a place called the Hob. It was little restaurant. Gale became the dish washer, and I became a waitress. That's how we got close, working everyday. I ended up being able to support my family. My mom eventually came out of her depression.
She went to medical school, and we began moving forward. When my mom became a full time doctor, that's when we moved here. It was hard, leaving everything behind. That hardest was leaving behind what my dad and I used to share. Part of our town was him, and leaving it behind was the hardest thing. But I'm glad I did. It helped me move on."
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The tears were too much to handle. I had never really told anyone about my dad, and opening up to Cato was a big step for me.
"Wow, Katniss. I'm sorry that that had to happen to you." I shrug my shoulders. He reached his hand over the steering wheel, and took mine in his. "I don't ever want to see you in pain. I want you to know that I will be there for you. Ok?"
I nod my head, and he kisses my hand. I hadn't realized how long I talked, because we were already at the town park. I hopped out the car door, and Cato carried me to the swings. It was getting late, and not a lot of people were hanging around, so the park was mostly free.
Cato set me down on one of the swings and pushed me. I kicked off my shoes, and threw back my head. I felt relaxed. Not like I had been these past couple of weeks, but completely relaxed. Cato was here, and it felt peaceful.
Truth is, I had never felt safe after my dad had died. Gale had been there, but he and I knew that he couldn't keep me from every bad thing out there. That was why I would never be able to be with Gale. He shared my past with me, but he was more of a brother to me.
My mom had never been there really after my dad died. When she came back, all she got from me was the cold shoulder. I had single handedly helped this family survive. Prim was so young at the time, she forgave my mom in in instant. But when you learn to live without your mom's support for a couple of months, you become independent.
I had grown up too fast. I felt like my dad's death and my mom's depression had robed me from my childhood. I learned to become strong, to fend for myself. I reused any help from anyone. Even Prim. I guess that's why she hasn't been speaking to me.
I pushed her away like my mom did. I couldn't be my mom, and refused to believe so, but that was exactly what I had done. I had pushed Prim away, maybe even too far away. She needed a big sister, a figure that she could rely on, since her dad was gone and her mom was never home.
I had abandoned Prim, and I felt my heart break. My own sister, I had left. That explains why she was so mad at me when I kept running off with Cato. Bossing her around, acting like I could. But I had no authority over Prim. Why should I?
"Katniss?" Cato asks. I snap back to reality and realize my feet are firmly placed on the ground. Tears are spilling down my cheeks, leaving my face feeling sticky and hard. Cato was kneeling in front of me. My face was captured in my hands, and he was trying to bring me back to reality.
"I need to go home, like now." I say. He nods and offers to pick me up. I don't walk towards his truck. I walk in the direction of "home".
"Katniss? don't you need a ride home?"
"No. I need to do this by myself."
"Katniss what's wrong?"
"I cant talk about it right now," I face away from him. "I can explain later. But I need to get home. I need time." "Wait. Are we breaking up?" he asks. I turn to face him. I walk towards him and take his face in my hands.
"I don't know. I need time to think."
"Did I do something wrong?" I shake my head.
"No. but I need to reconnect with my family, my home." he nods. " I just need some space. A break."
"Ok," he whispers.
"I'll call you when I am ready. Ok?" he nods. I begin to walk away, but he grabs my wrist.
"I love you…" he whispers. His words hit me like a ton of bricks. "I don't expect you to say it back, but I need you to know." I nod my head. He releases my wrist, and walks to his truck.
How could he love me? I just technically broke it off with I'm for no explanation. How could he ever love me? He would never forgive me for what I was going to do. I had to tell him. I run over to his truck and pull him into my arms and kiss him fiercely. He seems taken hack, but kisses me back.
"I love you too. Don't forget that. Don't forget me."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Just… don't forget me ok? I'll come back for you. I just need to get away. But we will cross paths again, Cato. I promise. Just don't forget me." I whisper. I had no idea what I was saying, but I kind of did.
I had to move on, California was holding me back. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm not think right, but I need to leave. I couldn't be near Gale, and I needed to take Prim away from our mother. She was never home, and Prim needed to reconnect with her roots too.
I decided I was going back to Texas. I needed to. I needed to be back in the place where I belonged. Where my dad used to be, and where my friends were. I didn't need anyone but Cato and Prim. It was going to be hard to leave Cato, but I would be back soon.
"I have a feeling this is goodbye," he says. Ii nod my head slowly and tears spill out. His eyes become glassy.
"Don't cry, please. It's only for a little while."
"I know, but I don't want to lose you."
"But your not. I just need to… reconnect. Take a breather. I will come back for you. I promise." I hold up my pinky. More tears are streaming down my face and he takes me face in his hands now.
"Ok. I will see you soon. I love you so much, Katniss. I wont forget you." he leans down and gives me one more kiss. "I love you," he shouts.
"Love you too!" I run towards my house, tears flying off my face. I pump my arms faster and faster. What I was deciding was fats, but I needed to do it. I run into the house and see Prim watching movies.
"Prim!" I wail. She looks over at me, and her face falls.
"Katniss! What's wrong!"
"I'm so sorry I left you. I'm sorry have been pushing you away. I love you."
"Took you long enough. But it's ok."
"Prim, we are going to be going away for a while. We're going back home for awhile. I need to be with you for a little bit."
"We're going back!" she shouts excitedly.
"Yes. We need to become sisters again. Agreed?"
"Agreed. But what about mom."
"She's staying here. Just me and you. We will be gone for a little bit, so pack your cloths. I will get the tickets. Go before I change my mind."
"Ok Katniss. I trust you." she runs upstairs. I cant believe she forgave me, but I know she understands. I too, head upstairs. I book the next flight for Texas, which is tonight. I throw in everything, and charge my phone. Cato has texted me.
I love you. don't ever forget. I know you will be back soon. I understand that you need to go back. I want you to know, that I wont move on without you. I'll be waiting for you. Keep in touch. Love you. And know, that you are Unbelivable, but in a good way.
I choke back tears.
I wont forget you either. I love you. I'm sorry this is sudden, but it's necessary, for me and Prim. Leaving you is going to be that hardest thing, but we will see each other soon. I love you, and I will talk to you soon.
I flip my phone down and write a note to my mother.
Dear mom,
Me and Prim are going away for a little bit. I understand why you are never home, but sometimes you need to be. We are going to go back to Texas. don't chase us. What me and Prim need is to reconnect with ourselves. I love you, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to show you that. We will be back soon. I love you.
Katniss.
I fold up the note an place it on the counter. Prim has her bags in hand, and I do too. I reconsider this plan I have for a moment, but I need to leave. It's what's best for me and Prim. I walk out the door, and I don't take a second look back.
Confusing? I know. You will find out later. I'm sorry it was so sudden, and unexpected, but its what is best. This story it NOT over. It will continue. I understand if most of you hate me right now, but I know what I am doing. So trust me. Thanks everyone!
Mandy