Fearless

Disclaimer via convo with UltimateFreedom:

Ultimate: I had this ah-mazing dream last night!

Run4life: NO WAY what was it?

Ultimate: We were in college and dating Zack and Derek and we were about to go out somewhere when they told us to meet them at their SOLDIER dorm, and…well…when we got there…

R4L: Oh damn.

Ultimate: Ya think? The best part was that they just kinda smiled and waved and skipped off holding hands…

R4L: I can't figure out whether to be insulted by that or jealous that you dreamed about Zack and his gorgeousness or horrified at the image.

Ultimate: Well, we owned them for the time being, anyway. Now you have a disclaimer…

A/N: And, yes, this actually happened. (Check out UltimateFreedom's profile/story, she writes for Darkest Powers and um she's AwEsOmE!) So I seem to have lapsed back into my originally traditional 2,000 words, hope you enjoy them all…be prepared for angst and some other…*shutting up now*. And Diana has a theme song for this chapter, I was thinking of Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson, and yes I'm aware that this is an overworked song but whatever. Just think of it in a brotherly-sisterly way not so much boyfriend-girlfriend, and given the situation I think it makes sense. Anyhow. Proceed, please :)

Chapter 10

"I'm starting to think that all this is getting to me." Diana was sitting on her bed after dinner that night, temporarily back in her girl clothes.

Tifa came over and folded herself into a pretzel opposite her. "All what?"

"This." She waved a hand around the room and at herself.

Oh. That this. Tifa's mouth tightened slightly in response.

"The faking…it's staring to get to me. I mean, come on—I wasn't born an actress! It's not like I'm enjoying living a lie." Diana snorted, glaring at her surroundings from under hooded eyes.

Tifa could recognize the warning signs of a breakdown well enough. "I can't imagine how it is for you, but you know I'm here, right? And Cloud." She used the voice she might when she was taking care of Marlene for Barrett. The older sister voice, to reassure and calm and rationalize.

"But…I haven't even told you everything…" She fairly whimpered apologetically, her armor cracking slightly.

"It doesn't matter." Tifa shook her head serenely. "Why is it so hard to accept that people want to do things for you, to help you?"

"Because…I don't deserve it…I'm lying to everyone…" If Diana had been someone else, she might well have been on the verge of tears. But this was hard-shelled and hard-cored, stubborn Diana.

"So that you can hand their asses to them later!" Tifa put her hand down forcefully, temporarily abandoning her mildness. "Remember why you're doing this," she said more gently. "Remember your dreams."

Diana looked up hopelessly. "Whose," she stated blandly. "Mine, or Devon's?"

Tifa drew back slightly. Now, here was a proper conundrum. Hers as herself, versus hers as pretending to be her brother? Or literally her brother's, who was dead now and she was trying to live for? Had they had the same dreams, when it all came down to it? Or had she just…taken it all on herself? Tifa made a decision. She grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her off the bed, across the room, and into the bathroom. Turning her to face the lit mirror, she kept a steadying hold on her shoulders.

"What do you see." It was a statement, with an answer that no one even knew the real answer to.

Diana refused to even meet her own eyes in the mirror, scanning the rest of herself instead. Who could ever say what they saw about themselves in the mirror? Who could tell the truth? But then again, who could lie? And who could tell the difference?

"I see a skinny little nobody, with no face to go with no name, who's had to deceive everyone she loves at one time or another." It was true. "And who fails to protect those people from anything else all the same."

"Really?" Tifa said after a pause. "Is that what you see? If that's it, then how can you hope for anything?"

She got silence.

"Well, I'll tell you what I see, then. I see a strong, stubborn-minded somebody, who can't seem to stop proving herself deserving to be here and to have people who she cares about and who care about her. Who doesn't like it, but has to find a way to do what she wants just because she can, who defies the odds. Who doesn't hesitate to protect her loved ones at any cost." She stopped. Diana's eyes were clouding over slightly as she raised them just a little bit, and they were violet colored, turning a very little bit more blue by the second.

Her overall mood hadn't improved much, but Tifa sure did have a way with words. Her vision cleared where it was been blurring oddly and hazing a little, enough so that when she faced her reflection her attention was immediately drawn to the fact that something was wrong. She eventually zoned in on her own eyes and was vaguely taken aback by the unusual color that had decided to reside there. Oh, well. Who cared, anyway. She was a freak. She glanced away in renewed contempt.

Wait… She looked back to herself. The eyes – she didn't even want to say her eyes – looked a little familiar, but like they'd been put in the wrong face. It hit her in a second.

Zack? That was Zack's striking indigo color, right there! She woke up from her misery a little more and leaned in to peer at herself. Wow. Yep, that was definitely a color she hadn't seen before. How cool… She suddenly reeled back from the mirror again, almost smacking into Tifa, who was becoming more hopeful that her friend was rising out of her sulking.

A freak. That was all she was. Who the hell in their right state of… of being had eyes that snapped through the color spectrum nonstop with no predictable pattern in sight? She stared in disgust at her temporarily pin-straight hair. Another stupid reminder. Why was she this way? She didn't like it anymore. She was sick of it. And she felt a true, deep hate for the people who had had such a 'brilliant' idea to experiment on human children in the first place. In fact, she realized that she had never actually hated anyone, or anything, for real. Sure, she had passing dislikes, like all people, but this was bone-deep (quite literally), rage-fueled, fully justified hate.

"I'm a freak," she said quietly, her expression becoming an odd combination of grieving and wrathful. The longer she looked, the more her own image caused her to feel flat-out abhorrence.

And then she blinked and she swore she saw someone else in the place of her reflection.

He was looking back out of the mirror with sad violet eyes. It was only for a millisecond of a millisecond, but she would later swear that she saw his face there. Devon looked very similar to her, but it was impossible to confuse him with her own reflection. There was also no scar on his right cheekbone like the one that raked across hers. He was smiling gently, like he knew something that he knew she would have to find out for herself soon.

Maybe it was just her imagination, or maybe she was just going schizo (not such an unlikely possibility), but she thought she heard a few sentences flicker around her ears in the same fraction of time as when she thought she saw him.

"Don't give up.

You know more than you think.

Go live your dreams, and don't ever let go of them."

The dilated lilac eyes shone for one last time.

Tifa gave a start when Diana's entire body jerked, then froze. The only reason Tifa could break her friend's fall into unconsciousness two seconds later was because of her quick reflexes.

This was rather troublesome. Why had she suddenly fainted? She wasn't the type to do that. What was Tifa supposed to do now? Diana was acting pretty self-hating right now, and it made Tifa nervous as to what she might do. Maybe run away, and how would she survive? She wouldn't go home…would she? And she certainly didn't want her taking the elevator down to the labs in a destructive state of mind and setting off some impressive and no doubt gratifying explosions…to get kicked out of the entire Shinra corporation forever. Great. No.

Tifa had always been one for logic. So she slung the girl over her shoulders and calmly exited the dorm. Leaving her here asleep would just be asking for trouble, and besides, what if someone walked in while she was still dressed like a girl? Tifa navigated the twists and turns of halls and stairs almost silently, finally reaching her own rooms in a separate building. She didn't mind sleeping on the couch.

Tifa looked up in surprise when there was an incessant knocking on her door the next morning. "Coming," she called, dumping her dishes in the sink and drying her hands on a red dishtowel. The knocks turned to louder thuds in response. She rolled her eyes. Watch it be a hungover redheaded Turk desperate for something or other from the bar to alleviate the headache. "Coming, I'm coming, keep your pants on — Zack?"

Zack stood in the doorway, looking a little anxious. That was weird. Zack never got anxious, only when there was a serious prospect of him getting completely ratted out to the Director for something stupid. Hysterical, but stupid.

"Have you seen Devon?" he asked, his voice betraying his worry.

Oh. Duh. His friend was missing. Um, sure, she's just in the back room. But don't worry; she won't be more than a few minutes! Right. But how was she supposed to explain the disappearance of Devon? Wait…why not stick as close to the truth as was possible? "Actually… Well, what gives?" And why not stall while considering how to manipulate said truth?

Zack shook his head briefly. "Cloud says he never went back to the dorm after dinner last night. Well, Devon said that was what he was doing, but apparently he didn't, cause he hasn't shown. This was the next place I could think of…he already missed breakfast." He ran a hand through his hair, the spikes springing back up again stubbornly.

Tifa was suddenly struck by a *plan*. A smart way to get Diana out of this alive, and also something else… A stupid plan, but a funny plan. A genius plan. "That's weird. Because I was hanging out with Dev last night in the dorm when he wasn't feeling good, and he just went and passed out." She frowned. "Brought him back here but I woke up and he was…well, nowhere. But, also, as a matter of fact, I have seen his sister…"

Zack looked up quickly. "You know Diana?" he blurted. Oops… Didn't mean for that to come out, there.

"You know Diana?" she asked amusedly.

"I – uh – I met her a couple weeks ago at that party. She – we – um, we talked –" Jeez, he was just digging a hole deeper and deeper for himself. Way to completely stutter and make it all seem more serious than it is.

"I see," Tifa resisted the urge to smirk in satisfaction. "I found her wandering around lost about a week ago, looking for Devon. She somehow heard he was in the hospital, but apparently just wanted to make sure he was okay, not actually talk to him…" She shook her head. "It was weird. But anyway, as a matter of fact, she's just in the back room. Showed up looking for directions again, completely exhausted, and had nowhere to stay, so I slept on the couch."

His eyes visibly lit up. "Really? Is she – I mean – can I talk to her, do you think?"

Tifa had to keep from squealing in triumph, something rather unlike her but almost necessary all the same. Goddess, he just got all shy all of a sudden, like a kid or something! And he actually stammered when talking about her? Hm. Interesting, she mused.

"I'm sure she's awake by now. Go see if you want, I gotta do the dishes," she made a face. Housework. Ugh. Oh well. It wasn't like she'd be concentrating on it, not with valuable events going on in the next room!

"Why do you keep it so freezing in here? Mountain girl," Zack complained, pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt, partially to change the subject that so far was only serving to embarrass him in conversation. He uneasily edged toward the door, which was closed but not quite shut all the way. It opened soundlessly, as to be expected of property of Tifa. He stood, uncharacteristically awkward, for a moment, contemplating what he assumed to be the sleeping figure under the heap of covers on Tifa's bed. Was she just waking up, muddled from sleep and unaware of where she was? Was she still deep in that deep, dark abyss of the sleep of the exhausted?

He crept silently toward her, not wanting to wake the girl regardless. Maybe just to see her, to prove that he hadn't dreamed up their entire meeting. Maybe just to verify what she looked like versus how he remembered her.

What he didn't notice was the dark figure that flew at him from the corner, until it was too late.

A/N: Yeah, so I'm a sucker for cliffhangers. (And guys with dark hair and blue eyes but that's not particularly relevant at the moment.) What can I say. Don't kill me; we all know Zack can't die even taken by surprise… Oh and is anyone picking up on the fact that her eyes are no longer simply going between green and gray? Hm…que interesante, no? What can this mean for her?… Haha so review please, come on let's get that review number up to forty! At least! Thanks so much for reading :)