Somewhere between losing Shannon and where he was now, Leroy Jethro Gibbs had lost something. And as he contemplated where he remembered having it last, he couldn't even recall what that something was. Within the last forty eight hours, he'd watched his team fall apart and someone that counted on him; someone he owed a lifelong debt to, lost his life. So he found himself sitting in a quiet hospital room; with someone else who counted on him; someone he now owed a new debt.
He sat with his arms folded and his stare was steadfast as he awaited any movement. When he saw her hand move, he couldn't of stood up any faster. "Ziva?" He placed a hand on her arm and watched as she slowly opened her eyes.
"Gibbs?"
He nodded and managed a small smile. "How do you feel?"
"Fine…" she tried to sit up and peered around the room. "I am okay, yes?"
He nodded again. "Doctor said you're gonna be outta here in a few days."
She took in a long breath. "Tony? How is he?"
Gibbs tried to hide his facial expression. "No one else was hurt…"
"He is at NCIS?"
He didn't respond right away and watched as Ziva lifted her hand to his chin and forced him to meet her eyes. "Tony's not important right now…what's important is that you get better…I'm gonna assign you some vacation time whether you take it or not."
She was not entirely satisfied by his answer and sat up fully. "You are lying."
"I don't lie."
"Then you're not telling me the whole truth…which is lying in my book."
Gibbs threw his hands up. "He quit."
"Quit…as in…quit?" She watched his eyes shift and knew the answer. "Because I was wounded?"
He cleared his throat. "I didn't ask for reasons."
"You did not try and change his mind?" She saw him shake his head and if she'd had the strength she would've head slapped him. "You did nothing to keep him?"
"He made a choice Ziva…I'm not his Father, I can't tell him what to do."
"You may not be his real Father but the man looks up to you like a hero, you know this, yes?"
"Well I guess my halo fell."
She sighed. "He has his two weeks; perhaps he will change his mind."
"I waived it."
"You did what?"
"You heard me…now I'm not gonna sit here and listen to a lecture from one of my Agents…so let's just drop it. Clear?"
She wanted to argue but read the look in his eyes. "Well seeing as I am the only one you have left…I suppose I have no choice but to obey."
A sea of eyes watched him pack up his things, but no one bothered to ask. Well, all except one.
"You're quite sure about this Anthony?"
"Quite." He replied quickly, as he set the last few things into a duffel bag.
"He needs you, Tony."
"For what? So he has someone to head slap? So he has someone to insult and stare down? Follow him blindly? McGee did that…Kate did that…and look where it got them. I'm not gonna do it anymore."
"You are not leaving for them Tony, you are leaving for yourself." The older man's voice was getting louder and the sea of eyes suddenly fell on him. "If you walk out those doors, you are turning your back on everything Timothy and Katelyn gave their life for…you are saying that their sacrifices were not good enough."
"You don't understand."
"Oh I think I do. It is a trying time…you just lost a friend. And almost lost another. Your life was in danger and all because of something you can longer do anything about."
"I was willing to die for him!" Tony screamed out the last phrase louder than he thought his vocal cords were capable of. "And he…he didn't say thank you…he didn't care…he cared more about some dead kid than me…" his voice got softer with each word. "He told me once I wouldn't have to through losing my Dad alone, that'd he help me…he called me his son, Ducky…but all of it…it's over now. And I get it…I wasn't good enough for my real Dad…and I'll never be good enough for Gibbs…" He finished by slipping a small key into his final desk drawer. He removed the medals and tossed them into a pile on Gibbs desk, before throwing the duffel bag over his shoulder.
Ducky stood by speechless for one of the first times in is life and watched as Tony quietly awaited the elevator doors. When they opened, he saw him set the bag down and pace back into the bull pen. He walked slowly towards McGee's desk and placed both hands on it slowly. "I'm sorry Probie." He tried to whisper but Ducky had heard him loud and clear. And as he walked past him a second time, he reached out for his arm.
"Don't apologize Anthony…"
"It's a sign of weakness…yeah, I know." His eyes were welled up with tears and he swallowed hard. "So take it all in Doctor, this is Anthony DiNozzo Junior at his weakest."
It was then he reached the elevator doors once more, this time entering with no remorse. And as the doors closed, Donald Mallard could do nothing but stand alone in a place that once had purpose, and couldn't help but wonder if it ever would again.
The piano music playing in the background helped drown out the thoughts racing through Gibbs mind. That was until they were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice.
"She had talent Jethro…"
Gibbs set down a few tools before pacing over to shut it off. "Yeah, had being the operative word…something I can do for you Doctor? Or let me guess, you've come to lecture me too?"
"Actually I've come to listen."
"To me?"
"To you."
"I'm not in the mood for talking…so just as the door you came in by is easily opened, it is also easily closed…"
"You cannot intimidate me Jethro…I am not Timothy."
It was then you could hear a pin drop, but instead you heard a fist slam. "I'm down here to forget Duck, don't turn this into a therapy session."
"Forget? Really? Is that why you're playing Kelly's tape over and over…to help you forget?" He watched his friend begin to pace. "You cannot fool me either…I am not DiNozzo…"
"What is this Duck? You playing head games with me? Gonna use your psych degree to mess with my head?" He picked up his sander for a moment, and then set it down. "You have the audacity to come into my home…my basement…and presume to tell me how to forget how my whole damn life is falling apart? Is that it? Well, you may be a little older in years, but tell me how many deaths you've had to mourn that were your fault?"
"Your fault?"
"Now you're gonna tell me Shannon and Kelly weren't my fault right? That there's nothing I could've done, I was thousands of miles away…oh and that Kate didn't die because Ari hated me…or McGee didn't get shot to death because I wasn't around to keep his head on straight…spare me the melodrama Duck…Pat's dead because he trusted me to help him…his Mother's dead because I didn't put two and two together…and don't even get me started on the living…Abby, she…she's leaving because I cant make her pain go away…and Tony, well DiNozzo could only take my crap for so long…I mean even the sweetest kid has their limits…I knew he'd run away from home eventually…was just a matter of time… "
"Run away from home?"
"I had to push him away…I had to do it even if I didn't realize it…every damn person I let into my life, leaves…it's my lot in life Duck."
"A self fulfilling prophecy I'm afraid."
Gibbs ignored his friend insinuation and continued to verbalize his thoughts. "Nothing helps anymore…coming down here. Working on the boat it used to help…but now all I see is Tim being pulled out of that damn car…Ziva taking a hit for me…and Tony, God, Tony turning around and willingly laying his life down in my place….I'm telling you they're mad Duck…madder than I am."
Ducky tried to hide his smile. "They are all trying to tell you something Jethro…"
"That they're crazy? Cuz I'm with you on that."
"That they love you." He was prepared to wait for a response and was surprised to hear one come so quickly.
"Then they're crazier then I give them credit for."
"You're sure this is what you want?"
"Are you?"
Both of them nodded in agreement and stood up.
"Funny how fast things can change huh?"
Tony reached for her hand as they left the familiar grave site. "Yeah, in one scene things are going as planned, then bam, the climax comes along and the characters are struggling to figure out how they got themselves into this mess.…"
She managed a smile. "Think we'll find our happily ever after, some day Tony?"
"Some day Abs…some day."
Anthony DiNozzo arrived at his apartment with a trunk full of boxes. He figured he'd be making a few trips until he got some unexpected help.
"Will work for food…"
He couldn't help but smile. "As much as I'd like the help…I'd feel bad…you know, you just getting out of the hospital and all."
Ziva stifled a laugh. "Hand me a box before I send you to one."
He slowly gave in. "Okay, but you can't spend the night. I promised Jay I'd show him around town tonight."
"I wasn't planning on staying long."
"Just came to convince me not to quit right?"
"No…actually, I came to pay back my debt."
He laughed slightly. "By carrying a few boxes?"
"That…and listening."
"To me?"
"To you."
Tony examined her expression for a few moments. "I guess the kid can wait one more night to see the sites."