Chapter Ten: Silence
Mistral's architecture scaled upwards, with its grandest buildings and most affluent citizens positioned at the top of the mountain overlooking the less fortunate. The further you descended from the top, the danker and seedier it became, until you found only the poor and downtrodden, or the greedy and opportunistic. Without soldiers actively policing the bottom rungs, Cinder led them in and directed the groups to places they could acquire supplies or stay off the books with the right amount of Lien and a willingness to accept substandard living conditions.
Qrow had suggested he separate from the others, dividing them into three teams. Ruby, Nora, and Ren had been reticent at allowing Jaune and Cinder to be alone together, but Qrow suspected allowing her the indulgence would be the best way to rein Cinder in and keep her pacified. And Qrow himself needed to get away from the group for a bit in case his Semblance decided to exert itself, and he didn't want any inexplicable signs of bad fortune to spook Cinder while they maintained their tentative alliance.
And as an added bonus, it meant he could get a drink.
After finding just the right seedy dive, Qrow ordered some of the cheap stuff and nursed it. He may have just recovered from a poisoning, but he was eager to return to his poison of choice, and also maybe gather a bit of intel from the locals while he was at it. If nothing else he wanted to process how to work with a dangerous woman who may or may not have still been working for Salem, and he tended to think better two drinks after the fact.
A seedy bar was just the sort of place a young man should avoid, but it was right where he needed to be, according to the voice in his head. He'd been uncomfortable trying to make his way through the slums at the bottom of the kingdom, poking his head into shady establishments, but at long last he'd found the man he was looking for. He was still cautious in his approach, even if the voice in his head assured him there was no danger from the drunk with the sword on his back.
Qrow quickly discerned his presence and glanced back, finding a brunette farm boy with youthful freckles and bright green eyes, looking a bit disheveled in his loose slacks and dirt-stained white shirt. Qrow leaned back in his seat and remarked: "You know, I don't think they allow kids in here, pipsqueak."
The boy averted his eyes. "Shut up, I'm getting there…" When he managed to look at Qrow again, he spoke again, a little more cautiously: "Um, I'm supposed to tell you: I'd… like my cane back?"
Qrow's eyes widened, as he realized what had happened. He knew this had been coming, but had no idea who'd be selected for the binding. And the news couldn't have come at a better time.
Qrow nodded a few times more than he needed to and slipped up off his seat, reaching to unclasp the head of the cane from his belt, giving it one last look before he surrendered it to his old teacher. "It's good to see you again, Oz."
He tossed the trinket to the boy, who easily caught it with one orange glove. Upon touching his hand, the staff extended from the head of the cane. The boy took a moment to examine his new possession before looking up at Qrow again.
"I'm sure this isn't what you were expecting to hear today," Qrow allowed, "but have I got a story to tell you…"
Jaune had been quiet since he and Cinder had reunited. He'd gone along with her at her suggestion with nothing but a passive nod. He hadn't asked any questions or offered any opinions of his own. He just followed after her as she led him through the backstreets and slums of Mistral's underbelly, and he was using his not-inconsiderable brawn to cart around the food and medicine they'd been collecting from less-than-savory merchants.
Cinder had never thought silence could be so loud. Her –Pyrrha's- memories of Jaune were strongest when there was a strong emotional investment, and she always felt deep concern when Jaune was quiet or deep in thought, because it was so out of character for him. Whatever his friends had discussed with him (which was almost certainly about Cinder and whatever relationship he had with her) had clearly affected him deeply.
Each time Cinder tried to speak she found herself stopping before she could say a word. It wasn't in her nature to hold a long conversation, even before she'd been maimed. She'd never really held a conversation with anyone she thought of as an equal, and honestly wasn't sure how to have a talk. How did one transition from one topic to another? What ideas would be exchanged when one talked without the talking serving a purpose? Cinder would much rather Jaune do the talking. Until today, he'd been able to compose his thoughts, even inelegantly. Now his silence was deafening, and Cinder wondered what thoughts raced through his mind and why he couldn't articulate them.
Though she wasn't sure what there was for her to say to him either. Their heart to heart in Lionheart's dungeon may have led them to a better understanding of each other, but it hadn't been words they wanted to exchange. They'd been driven by raw emotion, by the wish to embrace one another. The more Cinder pictured remaining with him, the more she wondered what thoughts they might share, what things they might do together outside the simple, unexpected moments of passion.
Cinder hadn't had time for many hobbies, and from what she could discern from Pyrrha's recollections, she wouldn't share with many of Jaune's quirks and his fondness for playing board games about compost or reading superhero comic books. Cinder might dream of sharing hearth and home with Jaune, but she was having difficulty picturing what they'd do together to fill the time. They could only kiss so often.
Cinder didn't want to have these thoughts weighing on her, but they were persistent in nagging her. The more she thought about remaining with Jaune, the stranger a prospect it seemed. And the more she wondered what there was for them to share, or where things would go, and if the love that burned so fiercely within her might ever fade.
All fires did, eventually.
And of course, she was troubled by the revelation of having obtained a second Semblance. It made her exponentially more powerful, but Cinder knew it was not hers'. If ever the Aura of Pyrrha Nikos lingering within her were to fade, so too would this ability to extend her soul. And if she were to use and demonstrate this power, it would be a consistent reminder to Jaune that Pyrrha's killer now held the thing that had made Pyrrha special, and he was trying to share companionship with that murderer.
But it was power that made her exceptional, even more so than she had been. For all the powers of the Fall Maiden, for all her skill in wielding Dust, for all the fury of her own Semblance, Cinder recalled Pyrrha Nikos devastating her with every hunk of metal that could be flung. Pyrrha Nikos may have failed to defeat Cinder Fall, but she hadn't left the fight unscarred. And Cinder speculated Pyrrha Nikos had never even come close to reaching the limits of her power.
She was sensing it more often- the magnetic pulls around her, of the fields generated by living beings, of the pieces of metal lining weapons or built into structures, and occasionally even the feel of metals deep underground, as though calling to her, begging her to practice with this new gift and wield it and bring all the power to the forefront for the world to see.
Cinder tried to remind herself that was the attitude of her old self, the one she tried to deny she was, the one Jaune Arc convinced her to move beyond.
But now Jaune offered no words, and alone with her thoughts, Cinder wondered how much she wished to change, when it meant denying what changes she could affect as she was. When it meant willfully constraining herself and muzzling the power she could bring to bear.
She needed to hear his voice, and be reminded that she didn't need to seek power to find happiness.
More than anything, she needed to hear those three words, and hoped that hearing them would offer the reassurance she needed, and rush away these meddlesome doubts. She knew how she felt, and she thought she knew how Jaune felt, but she wasn't certain. And she had always been certain of her course before.
Ruby had taken the lead on acquiring ammunition, being the team's resident… enthusiast. Ren was best suited to read a map, and so scouted a handful of different lodgings, providing insight into defensible positions and escape routes. Nora had gone along with them at Qrow's insistence someone strong be on-hand to protect his niece. And while Nora was happy to watch Ruby's back, the thought of leaving Jaune alone with Cinder irked her. And she was quick to convey that displeasure.
"What do you think she's telling him now?" Nora inquired to both as they slowly trotted through the streets, trying to remain inconspicuous, though Nora's loud questioning wasn't helping any.
"There is no point on speculating on matters we cannot affect," Ren replied, trying his best to dissuade Nora before she became irritated. He knew he was far too late, but he tried nonetheless.
"Did none of his sisters teach him anything?" Nora fumed, stewing in her resentment.
It wasn't like Ruby to be silent on the matter, but she continued to bite her tongue. Nora continued to cast glances her way, and Ruby knew the moment had come when she'd have to explain herself. She discreetly gestured at Ren, and Nora nodded.
"Ren, can you get to a vantage point and see if we're being tracked?" Nora requested. "I've got this funny feeling we attracted attention."
Ren refrained from commenting on that. He searched for a place to ascend and moved up to the rooftops of the shanties, moving up two stories and well out of earshot.
The moment she was certain they wouldn't be overheard, Nora asked: "What did you know and when did you know it?"
"When Emerald and Mercury attacked us that night, and Jaune was missing from the inn," Ruby answered, not meeting Nora's eye. "That's when I first saw him kiss Cinder."
"And what, you didn't think that was worth mentioning?" Nora quipped.
"I thought it was over after that night," Ruby explained. "I thought Jaune had realized what he'd done wrong. I didn't want to bring it up and cause any problems when it looked like everything had been resolved already."
"Any other secrets you're keeping?" Nora asked, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly. It wasn't like Nora to be suspicious –at least not in any serious manner- but she had clearly been affected by Jaune's recent actions.
Nora had been protective and supportive of Ruby while traveling with her. This had been the first time they'd really clashed; the first time they'd had any real, serious argument. Ruby wished she knew her action had been correct. At the time, it had just seemed a strange night. "No, of course not," Ruby promised.
Nora looked down, counting each breath, calming herself. It seemed, more than anyone else, Jaune's actions had hurt her. Ruby may have witnessed Pyrrha's death, but Nora had been a much closer friend.
"Cinder didn't kill me when she had the chance," Ruby reminded her. "Maybe Jaune can help her. Maybe he can bring her to our side and give us a chance against Salem."
"Maybe he can do all that without kissing her," Nora flatly replied.
Before Ruby could compose her response –and she was still a ways off from a good answer- the sound of a siren drew their attention. Ren bounded down from the rooftops, landing between his friends. "The military is on the move. They're sending their patrol ships towards the kingdom borders."
The sirens were briefly interrupted by a radio announcement. "There is increased Grimm activity outside the kingdom walls. Please report to your district's designated safe house or emergency bunker."
"Grimm?" Ruby repeated. "Why now?"
"Perhaps they were drawn by the fire set in the forest?" Ren suggested.
"Or whatever negative emotions popped up when we broke out of prison," Nora added.
Ultimately, however, they reached the same conclusion. The Grimm had been commanded before, instructed to complete direct and specific goals. And an important piece of Salem's plan was now travelling with them.
They'd come for Cinder.
Qrow and Oscar had found a quiet table away from the bar to discuss the matter. Oscar felt he spent less time speaking his mind than he did repeating Ozpin's thoughts. Though to be fair, they were far more composed than his own.
"The last time I saw Cinder and Mr. Arc…" Oscar repeated, "…she was pushing him out of her way without a care in the world. She didn't feel anything for him without Miss Nikos' influence."
"And that may be what we need to focus on," Qrow confirmed. "Remind her that she wouldn't have got there on her own."
Oscar was quiet for several seconds as he listened to the voice in his head. He then repeated word for word, even if he clearly didn't understand the context of the words. "Did she have any parasitic Grimm on her? It's not like Salem to leave her children to their own devices."
"We met up with her in Lionheart's jail," Qrow answered. "I'm starting to think Leo might be working for the queen. Either Cinder was planted there or Salem's fed up with her."
Again Oscar was quiet for several seconds as Ozpin composed a response for him. "Either is a possibility, but she's too useful an asset for us to ignore. We should give her an opportunity to prove herself, as long as we have Jaune as leverage."
"Leverage?" Qrow repeated with a scoffing laugh. "You're a hell of a romantic, you know that, Oz?"
"If her feelings are genuine, then I'm glad she was able to realize how futile her pursuit of power was," Oscar answered, no word possessing the confidence Qrow expected from Ozpin. "Certainly I've made mistakes, but I like to think that as long as there is something out there Salem cannot predict or control, then maybe we have a way to beat her."
"And what do you have in mind?" Qrow wondered.
"Before this, she was undoubtedly molded by Salem's teachings," Oscar explained. "And I suspect Salem favors her, if she allowed her authority in the attack on Beacon. And that will make her… overconfident."
"Okay, you've got my attention," Qrow agreed.
"We need to send her a message," Oscar continued. "And tell her to open a path to… to what?" He looked incredulous as he spent several seconds in thought, then looked up at Qrow as he repeated the words one at a time: "…to…the…Heart…of…Remnant?"
Qrow blinked. "That's a new one on me, kid."
"You and me both," Oscar muttered as Ozpin began to explain in the boy's thoughts. "Cinder will know and Salem will know. If we can get Cinder to agree to the trial, then Salem will gladly take the challenge."
"Trial?" Qrow repeated.
"The way to be certain," Oscar explained, though he was clearly as lost as Qrow. "Whether this is the path she wishes to walk. If she is sincere, then she can purge herself of any doubt and undermine Salem and the Grimm in her thrall. If she really cannot change, she will know and we will know." Oscar then offered some more specific details about the creation of the entrance to the Heart of Remnant, and the Grimm's black essence needed to codify it.
"Sounds risky, Oz," Qrow pointed out.
"It is," Oscar conceded. "But it's also possible she will not survive the trial, in which case the maiden's powers will reincarnate elsewhere." Oscar looked surprised the words had left his mouth. He'd probably never suggested someone die, possibly never even spoken the words in his young life. Now he'd expressed a willingness to put someone he didn't know –at least, Oscar Pine didn't know- on a dangerous track.
Qrow nodded. "Sounds to me like the pros outweigh the cons there."
Oscar averted his gaze as he relayed more of Ozpin's words. "Inform Cinder of this alternative. The suggestion will sound logical coming from you."
The sound of a siren caught their attention, followed by a radio announcement about Grimm on the city border.
"And quickly," Oscar suggested.
Qrow got up from the table, glancing back at Oscar. "When should I let the kids know about you?"
"We'll meet up soon," Oscar promised on Ozpin's behalf. "Better if we know where Cinder's loyalties lie before we reveal my hand."
Qrow nodded and headed out, topping off his flask with the cheap stuff on his way. Once he was out of the bar, Oscar faced the wall, speaking only to the voice in his head.
"I didn't know you were willing to let people die," Oscar dryly observed.
The world is more complicated than you've been told, Ozpin explained. And having the ability to effect change upon it means you have to make some difficult decisions.
"Is it really so 'difficult' for you to kill off the same girl who killed you?" Oscar snidely replied.
I see you've taken the time to learn from my memories, Ozpin noted. But it isn't revenge that motivates me; merely opportunity.
"And if she does die? What then? Does that make you responsible?" Oscar demanded, before asking the question that was really bothering him. "Does that make me responsible?"
You have no choice but to be responsible. It may not be fair, what fate has burdened you with, but it is. And if Cinder Fall cannot overcome the darkness in her soul, all she will ever be is a dangerous threat to the rest of the world.
"And what if you're wrong?" Oscar countered. "What if she's really changed, and you're just risking her life to satisfy your own doubts?"
I'd rather burden myself with the guilt of costing someone their life than leave the possibility they could do more harm, Ozpin answered. Perhaps her love is real. That doesn't absolve her of her past misdeeds, and that doesn't mean her love will last forever. Nothing lasts forever.
Mistral was built into a mountain with a large waterfall at its center. The kingdom had solid natural barriers that would help keep out the advancing Grimm. Unfortunately, these same defenses also made it difficult for anyone outside the kingdom to flee and take refuge within it, and the poor and downtrodden living in the lower rungs of the kingdom had a much greater chance of seeing the Grimm break through and damage their homes. Such was the price for not being affluent in a society built around material goods; the rich got to be safe and secure, and the poor had to hope luck was on their side.
Still, the lighter defenses made it possible to slip into the kingdom when there was a crisis drawing law enforcement and military attention, and though the two never expected to have any difficulty infiltrating, their task was only made easier. The Grimm's approach had been quite timely… and though they didn't think it was on their account, it did nothing to put their minds at ease. If Salem really could control the Grimm –as it seemed she could when she'd ordered around the Seer in her meeting room- then she was sending them into Mistral herself, despite her plans for it previously requiring subtlety. Something had changed.
And they suspected that had something to do with Cinder.
There were still guards posted at one of the kingdom's southern gates. Emerald concentrated, projecting an image of a Beowolf approaching from their flank. One guard immediately lost his head and started shooting at it, while his colleague had no idea why the guy he was working with had suddenly discharged his weapon at what appeared to be empty air. With their attention diverted, Emerald and Mercury dashed in, then stopped and waited for a moment once on the other side of the wall. Once they were certain their presence had gone unnoticed they continued inward.
Mercury had delivered Cinder to the gates of Haven Academy itself, where Watts had collected her. It was unlikely she was still there, and even less likely Watts had gone rogue himself and intentionally kept Cinder from Salem's grasp. So the two would focus their attention elsewhere, and the best place to begin a search was at the foundation of the search area; at the bottom of the barrel where the downtrodden had no choice but to linger. Fortunately, those constantly looking up tended to be good observers who could spot subtle differences, as they were always looking for a way to ascend themselves. There was no way Cinder would be cowering in a bunker. She would be plotting, and if she needed resources, someone would've seen her acquire them.
Though the question remained as to what the two would do when they found her. If Cinder and Salem were about to enter direct opposition, what role would they have to play? Could they even help her in any meaningful way against someone so powerful?
Just one of many questions they'd have for her.
Cinder kept staring at Jaune's hands. She wanted to find some way to get his attention, and thought if he wouldn't speak, and she couldn't find the right words, she should try something non-verbal. Perhaps if she took his hand in her own, he might respond in some meaningful way. Yet now she was having difficulty performing the act, and she had no idea why; she'd performed much more affectionate and intimate acts with him many times. Why couldn't she bring herself to hold his hand?
She felt as helpless as Pyrrha Nikos had. She felt like a shy girl with a crush… but she had already kissed this man and he'd kissed her back… why did this suddenly seem so complicated when a day before it had been so simple? What had his friends put in his head?
"Jaune," she said to his back. She had no idea what she'd say next, or where to go from there, but she just wanted him to acknowledge her in some way.
Jaune did not turn. He continued walking, their supplies in a knapsack slung over his shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Look at me," Cinder requested. "Please."
Jaune finally stopped his march and turned around. His blue eyes met her single amber orb. He did not avert his gaze as he had before, but she saw none of the fierceness he'd possessed when he'd been determined in trying to redeem her while they were trapped together. Cinder fancied herself a good judge of expressions, but this one was unreadable. It hardly seemed like Jaune at all to appear so… ambivalent.
"Will you tell me what's bothering you?" Cinder asked, and perhaps for the first time since she was a child, her voice was weak and timid. She tried to imagine it was Pyrrha Nikos speaking… but that thought did nothing to assuage her concerns.
Jaune sighed. "I've had a lot on my mind."
That would not do. She wouldn't allow him to say so little. She needed more. "I trust your friends gave you food for thought?" The words were harsher than Cinder intended.
"They did," Jaune admitted. "And I was surprised to learn what they were all feeling."
"Should it matter how they feel?" Cinder scoffed. "Should anything matter but what we feel?"
"They're my friends," Jaune replied, regaining some of the fierce determination Cinder had recalled and –only moments earlier- wished to see. "And they're all disappointed in me."
"Only because they don't understand," Cinder attempted to reassure him. "Only because they don't believe that my love is real."
She hoped that would provoke him to take action, and confess what he felt. Instead it made him more withdrawn. He averted her gaze. "I believe that. They're not there yet."
He was so distant. Had he really changed so much in just a day?
Perhaps. She had.
"What will it take for them to accept that I am here and wish to be here?" Cinder asked. "What do they need for me to do?"
"I don't know," Jaune answered honestly. "It'll take time before they can forgive you." At last he met her eye again. "This whole thing is going to be a process. It's not going to happen overnight. I know my friends have it in them to forgive; they just need more time."
More time would give them further opportunity to turn Jaune against her; to turn his feelings into something shameful and damaging. They'd already managed to instill doubt in him and reinforce his own belief his feelings were some character flaw, or birthed from a shallow, base desire rather than a deeper bond.
Cinder wanted to believe that he loved her, but had not yet summoned the ability to convey it. It took time and effort before one could say those three words.
Before Cinder could offer further thoughts on the matter she was interrupted by the sound of a siren, and then a radioed instruction for civilians to find shelter from the Grimm.
Grimm amassing on the kingdom's borders… Salem had finally decided to intervene. Now, if nothing else, Cinder would be able to figure out what she'd been plotting by depositing Cinder here and how it would differ from Watts and his own machinations.
"We should regroup," Cinder suggested. "Get back to your friends."
"Yeah," was Jaune's non-committal response.
Cinder and Jaune moved rapidly back to one of the seedy inns, exchanging no further words. The silence was louder to Cinder than the blazing sirens and the military aircraft moving to battle stations over their heads.
The other four were already in wait when Cinder and Jaune reached the inn. Qrow Branwen stepped forward and spoke. "Can I have a word with her in private?"
"Yeah," Jaune agreed, stepping past Qrow with the food and medicine. "I'll just drop these off and come back in a minute."
Cinder watched him depart, towards one of the rooms where his friends had gathered. Cinder deliberately avoided looking at Ruby Rose to avoid angering herself and focused instead on Nora Valkyrie. Whatever hooks she had in him, she'd said something that had deeply affected him. And now Cinder would be out of earshot and they'd almost certainly whisper in Jaune's ear and instill further doubts.
"What do you want?" Cinder harshly inquired of Qrow, feeling the pain in her throat return once Jaune was out of sight, and feeling the ache of her wounds slowly reemerge after a period of peaceful calm.
When Qrow spoke, he was quiet –too quiet- in his inflection. "I think I've found a way to square things with us. But you're not gonna' like it, because of all it'll entail."
"What?" Cinder immediately asked.
"The Heart of Remnant," Qrow answered simply.
Cinder had a fire that raged under her skin. It had been a long time since she truly felt her blood run cold.
"How do you… know about that?" Cinder asked, voice pained and hoarse.
"Ozpin let me in on the secret," Qrow answered. "From your reaction, I'm guessing it's real."
Of course he hadn't known for certain. He'd never have had any reason to enter it. He'd never have heard anything more than a legend, and certainly not experienced it.
"Anyway, those Grimm about to knock on the door? Kill enough of 'em and someone with the know-how can make the portal to get in," Qrow continued. "And I'll bet Salem would be interested –just like I am- to know exactly which side you ended up on."
"And why should I… do this?" Cinder asked him.
"You shouldn't," Qrow admitted. "It's dangerous, and if things go sideways, none of us will end up any better off. But that army of Grimm outside might eventually decide to hurt a bunch of innocent people on their way to you. And the only alternatives I can think of to you taking the risk is us helping the jerks who imprisoned us fight off the horde or you going right back to working for your old boss."
"Is that the limit… of your… perception?" Cinder inquired, the words getting harder to say.
"You got a better idea?" Qrow pointedly asked.
Cinder weighed her options. If she just returned to Salem, perhaps that would prevent the Grimm attack before they reached the kingdom, but that would just reaffirm what Jaune's friends had been trying to convince him of and she could very well lose any chance of getting through to him again, and she'd be back under Salem's thumb with an even closer eye watching her every move. If she fought alongside these gifted amateurs and their drunken mentor, they might be able to fend off the Grimm, but she'd pretty clearly demonstrate her betrayal to Salem and put herself and the boy who'd inspired this rebellion firmly in the queen's sights.
And if she entered the Heart of Remnant, she'd be judged. As she was. And she was still a work in progress…
"You think… she'll agree to it?" Cinder asked.
"I think she'll go for it," Qrow confirmed. "Because I think she thinks you're still like her."
Salem had reason to believe that. What were a few days of acts compared to a lifetime as someone entirely different? Could a few positive changes really outweigh all the misdeeds that had preceded them?
Cinder recalled seeing that darkness. Even the surface of the pools made for a terrifying sight, as the negative energy of the planet collected and weaved together, and pain and suffering were given form and mass. Salem made a point to keep her meeting room overlooking the deepest and darkest pools, where Grimm sprouted constantly. It was a reminder of how little she had to fear... and how much her subordinates had to fear.
They could simply run, and abandon Mistral to fend for itself. But Cinder doubted Ruby Rose or Nora Valkyrie or Lie Ren would do the same. She doubted even the pragmatic Qrow Branwen would simply retreat, even if it was the logical course. And so long as his friends needed him and there were innocents he could aid, Jaune Arc would remain.
Jaune was clearly suffering for the choice he'd made, in defending her. But what Qrow was asking… was Cinder willing to die for him?
Pyrrha Nikos had been.
"Tell her, then," Cinder agreed. "If she agrees… then I'll do it."
It was a foolish course of action. If Salem agreed, it would be because she thought there was no risk and Cinder would return to her service once she saw the folly of trying to change.
And Qrow Branwen doubtlessly suggested it because he was willing to let her die in that darkness.
But if by some miracle she emerged from the Heart of Remnant as she was now, then she would be redeemed. Not in the eyes of any one person, but by darkness that had refused to consume her because of the light in her soul.
She had been given her power by a god of darkness. She'd always assumed she was tainted by it, destined to dwell within it. Until Jaune Arc had given her hope she'd long thought lost.
Hope, however small and weak it had appeared, had endured within her, despite Salem's teachings, despite the lessons the world had taught her, and despite Cinder's own efforts. She believed, however foolishly, however improbably, that she could be better.
Now it was time to learn if that was true.