Ellie

As I walked down the hall to meet up with Nina, I looked at the bag that held the muffin Eric gave me. I smiled to myself. Eric, the cold and harsh instructor, apologized to me. An initiate. He also didn't punish me for slapping him; another thing I couldn't believe. And to top it all off he gave me a muffin. I couldn't help but wonder why he was being so nice to me, though. Even though when it was just us, I was sure he didn't treat any of the other initiates the way he treated me. We were both Erudite, but then again so were Lori and Candace so it wasn't the fact that we were connected to the same faction before transferring. Maybe he was nice to me because I had a streak of rebellion in me and respected me and my decisions. Part of me wanted to ask him, but then again maybe I was looking a t the situation completely wrong then how he saw it.

I didn't want to dwell on Eric at the moment because it was Visiting Day and even though I didn't want to get my hopes up, I had a feeling my dad may come. At the ceremony he didn't look at me with a cold stare or seem angry at me for my decision. In fact when I hesitated to leave he told me to go. I knew he would look at me differently for the rest of my life after defecting from Erudite, but one trait my dad had that I always loved was that he was understanding. He was also the kind of person who over analyzed things so he already knew I didn't defect for the hell of it or to leave him and my mother. He knew that I had a good enough reason for myself to make the decision.

Since the first stage of initiation was over, Nina and I planned to get our tattoos done before the parents arrived. Both of us sketched our design ideas on paper and had them tucked away in our pockets. Since she was from Candor, she was going to get shards of glass wrapping around her side that transformed into flames to represent both her old and new faction. I decided to do a similar thing and have water droppings start at my neck and go down my back, but turn into small flames halfway down. The design looked nice on paper and I prayed it would look good on my skin.

"Ready?" Nina asked me. Her and I went by ourselves while the others went back to the dorms for a bit.

"Yeah." I said with a smile and nod.

The tattoo parlor was buzzing with people who wanted new tattoos even though most of their skin was already covered in ink. On the wall there were posters and papers on the wall with designs and photos of tattoo designs. Some of them looked very simple whereas others looked like they'd take hours to finish. Chairs lined up at the sides of the room where people sat as they had the tattoo artists add more permanent ink to their skin. The room was dimly lit and had an orange glow to it as music played quietly. The sounds of the instruments seemed to bounce off of the walls almost. The place was absolutely amazing.

A man who looked to be in his thirties and had midnight black hair approached me and Nina. He had design of lines going up the side of his neck and three piercings in his eyebrow and another two in his lip. "You two lovelies must be initiates." He commented as he circled us. "You don't have a piece of ink on you."

"That's what we're here for." Nina told him.

"Well let's get you lovely ladies an artist. Hey Logan!"

The man turned away and I looked in the direction he was looking. My eyes landed on a familiar face, but I couldn't place him for a second. Then I saw the tattoo of the tree on his inner right forearm with the roots expanding into his hand and it hit me. He was the one who administered my aptitude test. His eyes landed on me and a hard expression formed on his face. He came walking over and stood next to the man. "What's up Justin?" Logan asked him.

"These ladies need some tattoos right now." The man whose name was Justin answered. "You open?"

"Yeah. I'll take blondie here."

I looked at Logan with a raised eyebrow. Really?

"Alright then you're with me." Justin said to Nina as he put an arm around her and led her away.

Logan motioned for me to follow him as he walked out of the traffic in the center of the tattoo parlor. I followed behind him and noticed that he cut down on the amount of piercings in his face so he only had one in his eyebrow and one in his lip. His hair also had grown out a little bit from what I remembered.

He led me to the back room where he had me sit in a chair as he got his tools ready. "What do you want?" he asked as he pulled on a pair of gloves. I pulled the paper out of my pocket and handed it to him. He opened it and examined it for a moment before saying okay. He had me slip my shirt off and lay on my stomach so he could start the design. "This might hurt." He warned before beginning the tattoo. It hurt at first, but after feeling it for a couple of minutes it didn't hurt as bad.

"So you chose Dauntless…" he said after a couple of minutes. "Are you asking to be killed?"

"Excuse me?" I questioned.

"Erudite and Dauntless are the worst two factions to be in for people like you."

"But I'm not a Di-"

"Ah! Don't say that word. And no you aren't but you're too close to being one."

"But that still means I'm not one."

"You're missing the point here…what's your name again?"

"Ellie."

I rolled my eyes and twitched a little. The needle was getting lower and it hurt a bit. How did Dauntless members get so many tattoos? Then again they probably asked themselves the same question when they were initiates and turned into the tatted up people they are anyway.

"Well Ellie in the second stage is where it will be like walking on eggshells. You have to be careful in the simulations." Logan warned me.

"You don't think I know that? I know how they work. I was Erudite, remember?"

Logan let out an annoyed breath as he continued with my tattoo. "I'm trying to help you here kid." He said.

"Sorry."

"Who are your trainers?"

"Four and Eric."

"Pray to God Four administers your tests. I had initiation with him and Eric last year and he came from Abnegation. He's selfless at heart and will understand your… predicament if you slip up somehow."

Four was from Abnegation? That was surprising. He and Eric both shared similar personality traits, but Four was warmer than Eric was from what I have seen. "Any other advice?" I asked. Logan was at the lower part of my back as he finished up the outline of my tattoo. "Don't screw up." he told me.

Once the outline of the tattoo was done, Logan colored it in. The water was a light blue color and eased into the red and orange which is what color the flames were. It took a while for all the detailing, but it was worth it in the end. The tattoo looked amazing. Logan stood off to the side with his arms crossed and satisfied smile on his face. The tattoo was beautiful. The middle of my back was now detailed with the amazing body art that complimented my back muscles. "Logan…" I said. "It's amazing."

"Thank you. Now that you've looked at it long enough let me but a bandage over it."

Logan taped a bandage up the length of my back and then sent me our front so he could tend to the next customer. Nina was waiting for me and I could see the edge of the white bandage sticking from the bottom of her shirt. She wore a satisfied grin and held her arm out to me. I took it and we went to pay for our tattoos.

OOOOO

The parents arrived about an hour before dinner started and all the initiates were gathered in the pit by the chasm. I stood with Nina and waited for the parents to enter. Please Dad, I thought. Then the doors opened and a group of parents wearing either black and white, black, or blue came walking in. When the Dauntless born saw their family they rushed over and greeted them. Nina let go of my arm and rushed over to an older woman with shirt blonde hair who wore a pair of glasses and Candor colors. I guessed it was her mother. Candace rushed into the crowd into a man's arm. He wore Erudite colors and looked too young to be her father so my guess was that it was her brother. As I scanned the parents, I finally saw him. My dad. A smile formed on my face and I rushed over to him. He was wearing a pair of blue pants and a blue blazer with his hair neatly combed and his pushed up to the top of his head. I called for him and his head snapped my direction, a smile forming on his face. He held his arms open and I ran into them. At first he stumbled back a bit from the impact, but he was able to catch himself and held onto me tightly. "Oh baby girl…" he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Oh I missed you."

I pulled back from him and looked at him. "I missed you, too." I told him. He put his hands on the sides of my face and kissed my forehead. "Look at you…" He looked at my new blonde and blue hair and black clothes, obviously ignoring my bruised nose and cheekbone. "You look so grown up."

I smiled and hugged him again. I knew he would come. I knew it.

After our little reunion, I guided my dad to the cafeteria where we sat at one of the smaller tables. "How's initiation going?" he asked me as he took my hand in his. "It's good." I said. I didn't want to tell him about my shitty ranking so far because the last thing I wanted was him to worry about me. "We just finished the first stage."

"So now you're going into the second stage?"

"Yeah after tomorrow. We're going to Amity tomorrow to help harvest crops."

"Has it been difficult here?"

"It certainly hasn't been easy."

A short silence fell between us for a moment. I knew he wanted to know why. He wanted to know why I defected from Erudite and transferred to Dauntless. He wanted to know why his only daughter left him and my mom. "I didn't want to be Erudite." I said through a breath. He looked at me. "I didn't want to be in a classroom my whole life. I wanted to be something not everyone could be."

"Why didn't you tell your mother and me you wanted to transfer?"

"You never asked."

"We didn't know."

"That's because you assumed I wanted to be Erudite. You assumed I wanted to be a leader."

My father looked at me with hurt eyes. "You never asked what I wanted. What I wanted to do." I explained. "I've wanted to be Dauntless since I knew what it was."

My dad sat back in his seat as he looked at his hands. Part of me wanted to ask why mom didn't come or if she hated me, but I already knew the answer. She didn't want to see me and she may not hate me, but she would never forgive me for what I've done. "You were exactly what Erudite needed." He said quietly.

"But Dauntless is what I needed."

He looked at me with sad eyes and nodded. "It wasn't anything your mother and I did? You wanted to be Dauntless…that's it?"

I nodded. With a quick deep breath, my dad sat forward. "Alright well I want to see if what they say about the cake here is true."

OOOOO

My dad was in Dauntless for three hours but it felt like three minutes. We ate dinner and dessert together which he enjoyed. They served burgers and french fries for dinner and chocolate cake for dessert. He loved the cake, but then again who didn't? After we ate I introduced him to Nina, Candace, Max, and Ben. Me, Nina, and Candace are the only ones whose parents showed up. Lori, Ben, and Max's parents didn't come and I felt bad. It wasn't fair that they were punished for making a decision for their life.

Once the introductions were done I showed my dad around the compound before the announcement came that the train was on its way. My heart fell. I just wanted my dad a little bit longer. "Thanks for coming." I said as we walked towards the exit. "I knew you would."

We stopped at the exit and he turned to me. "I love you, Danielle." He said.

"I actually go by Ellie now." I told him.

A smile formed on my dad's face and he hugged me. I hugged him back and buried my face in the crook of his neck. "Ellie…" he whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

I couldn't fight off the tears beginning to form in my eyes. "I love you." I told him.

"Love you, too baby girl."

My father let go of me and wiped the tears from my face. "You stay strong. I know you are going to pass initiation with flying colors." He kissed my forehead and dropped his arms. "I'll see you later."

"See you later daddy." It wasn't goodbye.

He kissed me once more before walking out. I watched him as he walked out and then broke down. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks. I dropped my face in my hands and let myself cry just this once. There was no one around to see and only I would know. Even though I was lucky to have one of my parents come, it still hurt. I still had to watch my dad leave me and there's a chance I may not ever see him again. Or at least for a long time anyway.

I leaned back against the stone wall and slid to the floor, pulling my knees into my chest. I put my head down and allowed the tears to take over. I have always hated crying. It made my face and neck red and my eyes became puffy. It was also hard to hide that I've been crying. My eyes don't return to normal for ten minutes and my neck and face would be red until I cooled myself down. At the moment though, I didn't care. I needed to let it out. I needed to let all the emotion flood out of me so it didn't get pent up inside of me and drive me insane.

A minute passed me and I was still crying when I heard footsteps. I quickly wiped my eyes and face, trying to erase evidence of me crying even though I knew it wouldn't help. Looking up, I saw Eric approaching. I put my head back down and hid my face. Please go away… I thought. I heard him stop in front of me.

"I could hear your crying from down the hall." He told me. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

I picked my head up and looked at him. He was looking down at me and waiting for an answer even though I didn't want to give him one. I didn't want him seeing me like this at all. I didn't want to look weak which is why I wanted to do this alone without anyone seeing. "Whether my dad came or didn't, it feels the same. It hurts either way." I eventually said. I avoided Eric's eyes, but he walked over and sat next to me. "My parents didn't come to see me on Visiting Day." He told me. "I didn't care that much, but at least your Dad came. He didn't forget you or hold your decision to defect against you."

I looked at Eric and saw he was wearing a relaxed expression. "Just remember that he came in the first place and be happy about that." He said. I gave him a weak smile and put my back against the wall. "My mom didn't come." I told him. "I knew she wouldn't, but I still had a tiny bit of hope she did."

"Yeah you'd think that parents wouldn't hold it against their kids to make a decision for themselves." He replied. I looked at Eric as he said the words I was thinking. He met my eyes and gave me a smile. "You look terrible." He pointed out. I laughed and put my forehead on his shoulder. "Thanks for the boost of confidence." Eric chuckled and I felt it coarse through his body. He put his chin on the top of my head and I felt my heart beat faster. Him being this close was enough to make me nervous and ask myself if I looked alright. I didn't, he pointed that out, but he didn't seem to care. And I didn't care that he was this close to me despite my terrible state. With him, it just didn't seem to matter that much.