A/N: Hey all! Sorry for the very long wait. I sort of lost interest in this story but I'm back and ready to finish it. Thanks for sticking with it and hope you like the new chapter. Please read and review to let me know what you think of it! Happy reading!
A/N 2: The italics represent a dream/flashback.
Will knew he was in trouble. The moment his lips touched hers, he knew he had gone too far. He tried to apologize but she was out the door before he could even look her in the eyes.
He swung his legs angrily and kicked a nearby plastic chair. Angry thoughts began to circulate in his head and he came to the conclusion that whatever was between him and Rachel before the accident was all over now.
She was going to run into Figgins or Emma and tell what happened out of shock, only leading him to being in trouble and fired for inappropriate conduct with a pupil.
He had truly gone off the ledge of a dangerous cliff and was afraid that he would not be able to climb back onto to the life he once knew. He was losing it, and his actions today, proved it.
He quickly thought on his feet about what to do before Rachel could reach any faculty in the hallways. His mind reflected back to Figgins deal with him about taking leave, and suddenly, he made his decision.
Leaving the choir room, Will raced down towards Figgins office. It was getting late and he hoped to catch him before he had left for the day. He sighed in frustration as the light in the office was already off.
With no hope seeing to seep through Will's distraught thoughts, he continued back down the hallway in a much slower pace than before. While he walked past the lockers and tiled floor, he thought of a plan. A plan that consisted of telling Figgins first thing in the morning about his decision so he wouldn't have to come in for the day.
He knew it was dangerous to leave his fate in Rachel's hands, but there wasn't anything he could do at the moment to fix that. He just had to hope that she would forgive him and see his mistake before someone of authority found out.
As he walked, he passed Emma's office and another thought entered his mind about glee club. They needed an advisor now that he was leaving and knew that Emma loved the glee club just as much as he did. He also knew though, that things between them were rocky since she kissed him and he told her he wasn't interested. He wasn't sure if she would accept, but for now, it was his only option.
He knocked on the glass door and Emma looked at him with confusion. She motioned for him to come inside and he did so as he sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling nervous.
"Will, I wasn't expecting to see you here," Emma said as she adjusted the many items on her desk, making them perfectly in line with each other. "Take a seat," she added as she saw him standing nervously in front of her.
"Something I can help you with?" Emma asked as she saw that Will was contemplating what to say. She wondered what it could be as she saw him try to think of the right words to say.
"Yes, actually. I, um, I decided that I'm leaving and I need an advisor to take over the glee club while I am gone," Will said, finally finding his voice.
"And?" Emma asked, knowing where this was going.
"And I was hoping that maybe you could take over?" Will asked quietly, staring deeply into her eyes so she could see his desperation. Emma stared at him, unsure. She loved the glee kids just as much as he did, but she didn't know if this arraignment could work with their history between them. She didn't know what they were ever since she kissed him and the accident. What were they? Friends? Not friends? Co-workers? Potential lovers again? She had no clue.
However, Will was still someone she cared about and she couldn't let the glee club down right when they were this close to competing at Nationals.
"Okay," Emma said with a smile after a couple of minutes of silence.
"Okay?" Will asked surprised that she had made her mind up so quickly. She nodded back at him before continuing.
"Yes, Will, you know I love the glee club just as much as you do and I am always willing to help you out," Emma explained to him. He smiled at her and was grateful that she was still willing to help him after the way he had previously been acting.
"Thank you Emma, so much, really," Will said with a smile because he would be able to leave the glee club in good hands while he took time for himself.
"Nationals is coming up, but their set list is almost complete. They just need a ballad and to work on choreography," Will started to explain the details of their progress and what still needed to be worked on.
"Okay, got it," Emma said as she made a mental note of everything Will was saying to her.
"Anything else?" she asked. Will hesitated as he thought about Rachel. He wondered if he was ready to tell anyone yet, but decided against it as he remembered his surprise kiss and the reason he was leaving McKinley in the first place.
"No, just, keep an eye on Rachel please?" Will asked with minimal detail. Emma eyed him curiously but complied as she knew that Will still felt guilty about the accident and cared about his students well-beings.
"Of course," Emma said.
"Thanks again, Emma. You have no idea how much I need this," Will said as he began to stand up.
"It's no problem. I want you to get better so I think this is the best for you," Emma said as she folded a stack of pamphlets. She considered giving Will one, but she knew how he felt about them and tucked it back in the bunch.
"Yeah, well I better go," Will said as he began to turn around and leave. As Will turned to leave, he stopped in his tracks as Rachel ran past the glass window, keeping her direction straight ahead.
"Everything okay, Will?" Emma asked as she saw him freeze before her. Emma watched him curiously as he continued to stare out the window.
"Will?" she asked again.
"Uh yeah, I thought I saw something. I, I need to go," Will said as he finally left the office, leaving behind a very confused Emma.
He paced down the hallway as he followed Rachel's footsteps. He couldn't believe that she was still in the school. He thought that she had left after he kissed her, but maybe she had just gone to the bathroom to cry in private?
He turned the corner but stopped behind the wall as he heard her talking to Finn. He peeked around the corner and saw that Finn had his arms around her and was looking at her concerned.
"Rachel, what's wrong?" Finn asked with worry as he saw his girlfriend so upset. Will listened intently, eager to know what Rachel would say.
"It's, it's nothing," Rachel said, unsure how to explain the situation that had just happened between her and Mr. Schuester in the choir room. It was a shock to her system that left her utterly confused. She knew Mr. Schuester would not have done that unless it meant something more, she just didn't know what and trying to piece it together by herself, was no use. She couldn't tell Finn though as she knew how he would react. It had to between her and Mr. Schuester. It was the only way to figure everything out.
"I know your crying, and I know you are upset about something," Finn said as he continued to rub circles on her back for comfort.
"I'm fine really," Rachel said as Finn eyed her curiously, still not convinced that his girlfriend was completely fine.
"Okay, but I'll be here when you are ready to talk," Finn said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to his chest.
"Thank you," Rachel said. "No need to worry though," she said reassuringly. Will breathed out a sigh of relief that Rachel had kept the kiss to herself. He casually walked behind the wall and around the corner, making it look like he was headed towards the choir room.
"Hey guys, everything okay?" Will asked, as he eyed them both.
"Yeah, everything is okay, Mr. Schue," Finn said as Rachel remained silent, looking at him with nervous eyes.
"Okay, I'll be in my office if you want to talk," Will said directing his attention to Rachel but not enough to where Finn would notice. Rachel locked eyes with him and saw the desperation that laid there. His look confirmed what she already knew. He wanted to explain himself because he had a reason for what he did. She nodded back at him, hoping to make him understand that she understood.
"See you guys," Will said as he continued on his way. He hoped his hint was subtle enough to where Rachel would catch on and come talk to him. She nodded back at him, so Will took that as a good sign that she could be mature about this.
He made it to his office in a matter of minutes and waited as patiently as he could behind his desk. He busied himself with reading and grading papers. As time had drawn on, he began to wonder if Rachel was going to stop by. It was taking her longer than he thought it would and wondered if Finn had offered to take her home.
He was finishing his last paper when there was a knock on his office door. He glanced up and sighed in relief as Rachel walked in, looking a little calmer than he left her in the hallway.
"Rachel, please sit," Will said as he motioned for the chair across his desk. Rachel nodded and slowly took the seat.
"So, I wanted to have a chance to explain myself," Will said as he noticed Rachel staring intently at him.
"Explain why you kissed me?" she asked quietly, now avoiding his gaze. She folded her hands out of nerves and felt the heaviness of the room through his eyes.
"Yes," Will said, simply. "There's no easy way to talk about what I'm going to tell you, but it's the only way to explain that what I just did had a reason," Will explained, not taking his eyes off her. He wanted to be honest, and now was the time.
"Okay, go ahead," Rachel said as she motioned for him to continue on, finally looking up into his powerful eyes. They held so much and Rachel was desperate to know what was going on.
"Do you remember anything before the accident, Rachel?" Will asked, starting off slow. He watched her close her eyes and think, think back to that horrible day.
"Not really, no," she finally said as she opened them, surprised to still see his gaze on her.
"Do you remember how the accident happened?" he asked, knowing that she probably didn't, other than what the doctors and her fathers had told her.
"A car accident wasn't it?" she asked and he nodded in approval.
"Right, with me. I was driving us back to my apartment," Will said as he then thought back to that dreadful day. The flashing lights, the loud siren, his blue car in a ditch, he and Rachel in an ambulance.
"Why were we going back to your apartment?" Rachel asked as that piece of information sounded odd in her head. Will snapped out of his thoughts and continued on.
"It was after glee and we were going to get some coffee," Will said taking note of how she listened carefully, but still showed a look of utter confusion.
"Why was I with you?" Rachel asked, still stuck on why she would be in a car with her teacher. It didn't make sense to her and she needed more information to figure everything out.
"Well, I, we, us," Will struggled out, trying to desperately tell the truth.
"We were in a relationship, Rachel. For a couple of months before the accident," Will finally said with a heavy sigh. He watched her face scrunch up in disbelief as her mind worked to put the pieces together.
"No, I don't believe you," Rachel finally said as she realized how wrong that would be. He was her teacher and she was pretty sure that it was illegal for them to be involved with each other.
"It's true. You broke up with Finn, I ended things with Emma. We started a new relationship together and everything was going fine, till the accident," Will explained, seeing the hurt in her eyes.
"The day of the accident changed everything, Rachel. You're memory of me as a lover had vanished and I was just a teacher again. You went back to Finn because he was the last person you remember dating," Will said, starting to feel the hurt himself. He felt his eyes tear up but would not allow himself to cry.
"But I haven't gone back to Emma because I have been waiting for you to come around. I keep hoping that you will get better and you have, but not as much progress as I would like. I kissed you today to see if it would trigger anything. I need to know that we still have a chance," Will said all in one breathe, finally letting his feelings surface.
"I still don't understand," Rachel said about to cry herself. Everything she thought she knew was now wrong and everything before the accident, she couldn't remember. She didn't know what was right nor wrong anymore and shook her head, trying to understand.
"Just, I need to know, did that make you remember?" Will asked sternly yet still calm. He was desperate and needed something that would let him know things were on the right track to getting better for Rachel and back to how they used to be.
Rachel stared at him unsure how to answer. The surprise of the kiss left her little time to think about what it meant, so she couldn't tell him if anything had changed or not. She wanted to, but she needed more time to think things through. Think about what his actions really meant to her and think to a time where she remembers them together.
"As of right now, no," Rachel said as she saw the hurt appear in Will's eyes. She almost felt sorry for him but remembered that she was still utterly lost on what had happened between them for them to be in a relationship together.
"I'm sorry," Rachel started to say as she saw the tears start to prickle out of his eyes. It amazed her at how much he still felt for her when she had been throwing Finn in his face the past couple of weeks.
"No, it's not your fault. It's mine," Will said as he began to stand up, feeling that this conversation was over. His plan failed and Rachel still thought of him as her teacher and even now, probably a pedophile for his feelings towards her.
"I'm still confused though," Rachel said as she had yet to move from her seat. She didn't remember, but that didn't mean she was giving up. If Mr. Schuester had said something real was between them, she wanted to feel whatever that was. She was willing to maybe give him a chance and show her how they once were.
"I am too, but I realize now that things aren't going to go back to the way they were," Will explained, even though it tore him apart. Rachel didn't remember him, plain and simple. Why should he force her in a relationship that was considered inappropriate by every state?
"What are we supposed to do now?" Rachel asked, feeling slightly angry at Will for telling her this and not doing anything about it. She now lived with a secret that she knew she couldn't tell anyone about. How was she supposed to act normal around him, when she didn't even know what that was anymore?
"I don't know, but please, don't tell anyone about this?" Will asked with desperation. His reputation was on the line and not one person could know the information he just told her.
"I, I won't," Rachel said, knowing what would happen if she decided to tell someone about his confession. He would get fired and suspended from the school for inappropriate conduct.
"Could you leave?" Will finally asked quietly, seeing the surprised look on Rachel's face appear. It pained him to say it, but if nothing was going to change, then he couldn't stand it to be in the same room with her anymore.
"Sure," Rachel said as she felt a little hurt at his request. She knew it was killing him inside, but she was feeling just as confused as he was. Asking her to leave was not going to fix anything, but apparently her being there wasn't a good choice either.
"I'll let you know if anything changes," Rachel added as she walked out of his office, without looking back. Will sighed and sat back in his chair, letting more tears spill down his cheeks.
Later that night, Rachel lay in her bed thinking about the events of the day. After Will told her about them, she cried all the way home. Finn had waited for her, but she rushed past him, ignoring his call after her.
She wanted to be alone to figure everything out because in her mind, she was still lost. She knew the truth, but that didn't mean that she understood it. She didn't understand how a student could fall in love with their teacher. She especially, didn't understand how it could be her and Mr. Schuester.
Everything was a mess and now she didn't know how to fix it, well she did, but that required her memory. Her memory was making progress, but still not to how it was. Certain memory's had holes in them, or were just gone completely. She wanted to be how she once was, but maybe Mr. Schuester was right. Things were not going to go back to how they were, unless her memory had returned.
She finally fell asleep that night, much later than normal. Her father's checked on her throughout the night, noticing that her behavior was off. She stirred in her sleep as if in a bad dream, but they didn't wake her. She needed her sleep, so they let her have it.
Rachel lay in her bed on her back, while in the middle of a deep sleep, stirring every so often as she dreamed.
Loud sirens were echoing through her head, voices were being shouted to her, she was half awake and was being carried somewhere. She was in a strong hold, but couldn't make out who was holding her. It had to be a man though as she felt his muscular arms wrap around her.
"It's okay Rachel, look an ambulance is here," the voice says. Rachel knew that voice. She knew it well. It was Mr. Schuester. He was carrying her. His arms were the ones wrapped around her small frame.
"What's going on?" she asked, dazed and confused.
"Everything's, okay," he said, but that didn't help.
She adjusts and looks around his shoulder to see his blue car in the ditch on the side of the road. They were in that and now they were here, walking to safety.
He's singing to her, On My Own from Les Mis, but now they aren't in the middle of a road, they are in the choir room. Just the two of them at the piano. She takes over the singing for him and he smiles at her, as it is one of her favorite songs.
He holds out her hand and offers her to dance and she takes it. The lights are low and they are the only two people in the room. Glee must have ended some time ago and the others had left.
He holds onto her waist and spins her around gently. She grabs onto his neck for support. He laughs and so does she because dancing together is one of their favorite things to do. He pulls her back up and she rests her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat strong against her eardrum.
He's about to say something, but now she is in a pool. They are singing as he comes out to propose to Ms. Pillsbury. He looks happy and so does she. Finn is smiling at her and she smiles back.
They're now in the auditorium and Finn is on one knee in front of her. She gasps as he pulls a ring out. He asks her to marry him and she can't answer. Can't feel anything. She panics and says she'll think about it before running away.
She's back in the choir room and there is Mr. Schuester. She walks in and he notices her being distressed. He's talking to her but she doesn't hear anything he is saying. He's leaning in now and his lips are close to hers. She panics but shakes her head that it is okay. He leans in more and now his lips are just inches apart.
The buzzing of the alarm clock wakes Rachel up. She sits up and notices the cold sweat on her forehead. She is confused as she tries to slow her breathing down. It was Will, who she was dreaming about. The accident, his proposal to Ms. Pillsbury, Finn and everything else that had happened between them the past couple of months.
She struggled to put everything together, but knew that Mr. Schuester was right. They had something in the past and her dream confirmed it. She knew that dreams were not the most accurate portrayal of events, but this one seemed so real to her. She could feel him hold her to safety; feel him kiss her in the choir room.
It was all real, and she knew that it was trying to tell her something. She had to talk to Will to find out what.
She got ready for school as she would any normal morning and headed down to greet her fathers. They noticed that she looked better and were happy to see that she was awake.
She ate a quick breakfast and made her way to school, where she knew Will would be in his office, because that was where she always met him before school.
She raced down the hallway and into the choir room, but found the light to be dim and no sign of him being there. Hearing the bell ring for classes to start, she decided she would have to talk to him later.
She waited all day and saw no sign of him. She made her way to glee and was startled to see Ms. Pillsbury standing in front of the whiteboard.
"Ms. Pillsbury? Where is Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked confused on why the guidance counselor was teaching glee.
"I was just telling the others that he will be gone for the next two weeks. He's on leave for personal reasons and won't be back till the end of his time. He has asked me to take over for him. Now, if you could sit, we can start," Emma said as Rachel's eyes grew wide.
She had been waiting all day for him, and now he wasn't there. She needed to talk with him to make him understand that she did remember.
She knew where we was if he wasn't at school, his apartment. She began to leave, suddenly not caring about the others or practice.
"Rachel, where are you going?" Ms. Pillsbury asked as she saw Rachel turn to leave.
"It's an emergency. I need to go," she said without stopping as she heard Finn call after her as well.
She continued on along the hallways, not stopping for anyone. She made it out without being questioned and she began to walk to his apartment. Even though it had been four weeks since the accident, her father's felt uncomfortable for her to drive, thinking she might forget how. She was only ever allowed to get a ride or to walk, and today she had decided to walk.
She was lucky though, as Will lived relatively close to the school. She got there in fifteen minutes; almost out of breathe from walking so quickly. She nervously knocked on his door and waited for his answer.
"Rachel?" Will asked, confused to see her at his door. "You're supposed to be in glee," he said as she made his way past him and into his apartment, leaving him with a concerned look.
"Forget about glee. I need to talk to you," Rachel said as she took a seat on his couch.
"Okay, about what?" Will asked as he sat next to her, turning his body to face hers.
"I had a dream last night and it was about you," Rachel said looking at him directly in the eyes, so he could read her feelings.
"Me?" Will asked confused, but with hope. If Rachel dreamt about him, it must mean that her subconscious was trying to tell her something.
"Yes and I woke up different this morning," she explained as Will urged her to continue. "I remember things before the accident. Things about us," she clarified as Will's eyes grew, filling with happiness.
"Like what?" he asked, curious to know, but didn't want to get his hopes up if they weren't true.
"The accident, and then us dancing in the choir room after practice, and then your proposal to Ms. Pillsbury. I also dreamt about Finn proposing to me, but in the end it all came down to you kissing me in the choir room," Rachel smiled, as did Will. He remembered that was the first place where he had kissed her, at the piano after Emma stormed out on him.
"That's true. I did kiss you in the choir room," Will said as Rachel continued to smile, knowing that her dream was real, that it meant something.
"I knew it. Your kiss the other day must have triggered something in me, because now, I remember there being an us," Rachel explained, excitedly.
"You're serious, Rachel? You remember us as a couple?" Will asked with happiness bursting through ever fiber in his body. He couldn't believe how one night could change someone's perspective on things or make them realize what they had all along. He suddenly wished that he would have kissed her earlier, if he had known this as a result.
"Yes," Rachel said with a smile that matched his.
"I can't believe this," Will said in disbelief as a tear trickled down his face.
"I know, I can't either. I was so confused the other day, but it really helped me see things differently," Rachel said as she grabbed onto his hands. Will sighed in content as he was now able to touch her again without making her uncomfortable. He was able to love her again without thinking she was with Finn or anyone else.
"So, what does this mean?" Will asked to clarify that Rachel was completely sure of their relationship.
"I want to be with you again, like we were. I felt so far away from you these past couple of months but never want to feel that again. I want to be close to you, as long as you want me to be," Rachel explained with tears in her own eyes. She was getting her life back and was finally remembering things before the accident and she wouldn't have it any other way.
"I want you close to me, Rachel. Believe me, you have no idea," Will said as he finally leaned in and kissed her. It was slow as each other took the time to make up for the lost months.
"Thank you for bringing me back to who I was," Rachel said as she rested her forehead against his.
"I had no choice. I needed you," Will said as he wrapped his arms around her.
"And I need you," Rachel said back.
"Just no more driving, okay?" Rachel laughed back as Will playfully glared at her.
"Never would think about it," he said as he kissed her forehead. They lay back into the couch wrapped in each other's hold, feeling closer than they had in the past four months.
A/N: Thanks for reading this story to completion! I couldn't have done it without you all reading and reviewing! Just one last question, should there be an epilogue? Vote in a review and tell me! Thanks all!