"Come on, Turntech Butthead, answer the question!"
"You call me that one more time and I will personally kick your butt into next week."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Turntech Butthead."
John and Dave sat in the study section of the library on a Monday afternoon, a wide array of books sprawled out across the table.
"Henri Becquerel was….he was… I forget, I have no idea. Freakin' brainfart."
"He was one of the major pioneers in the discovery of radioactivity! And the inspiration for Jade's dog's namesake."
Dave slammed his forehead against the table and groaned.
"This is hopeless."
"Hey, don't say that! You know that Jade digs smart dudes, and I believe that with a little more practice, we can totally trick her into thinking you're one."
"Ugh."
"Look, you've got a whole week, okay?"
"A week? What do you mean? A week until what?"
"Were you not listening to me earlier?!"
"No. After that crash course on thermodynamics, I was just trying not to have my brain explode."
"You don't have to understand the material, Dave," John explained, "I sure don't! Just… recognize it enough to impress Jade. Idea: just say the word 'boondoggle' a lot when you talk to her and maybe she'll think you're smart."
"What does that even mean?"
"Heck if I know! Anyway, about Saturday, Rose arranged for the four of us to go down to Queen's Peninsula."
"What?! You mean, like, the amusement park?"
"That's gonna be your big chance to woo Jade! The moment of truth! And we'll be right there to help you out."
"No, no, no. No way. This is the worst idea I have ever heard in my whole life. I'm out."
"I'll tell Jade about the song," he mocked in a teasing voice.
"I hate you so much, Egbert."
John only laughed in response.
"Come on, we haven't even touched on Mendel's theory of quantitative genetics within plant hybridization yet."
"SOMEONE SAVE ME."
/ . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . /
Jade sat wrapped up tight in the warmth of a pile of blankets, courtesy of Rose.
"Hehe," Jade giggled lightly, "I'm like a Jade burrito!"
"Jade, you're the epitome of silliness sometimes." Rose smiled, bemused at her friend.
"Hey! Don't say it like it's a bad thing!"
Rose sat on the adjacent couch, knitting away on what Jade thought to be a complicated-looking endeavor. Her pale, nimble fingers worked tirelessly away, moving all four of the needles in a circle.
"That's kind of amazing, you know."
Rose looked up from her work, but didn't stop knitting.
"What? Not really. It's easy once you get the hang of it."
"How are you knitting with all those little needles at once?!"
"Simple. It's called knitting in the round, and I'm just making a pair of socks."
"More like a work of art! Look at all that detail…I tried to knit once a long time ago. I can't really remember any of it. I don't think I got too far!"
Jade sniffled a bit, not yet fully recovered from her cold spell. She had felt really guilty about having Rose come over and keep her company when she wasn't completely better yet, but Rose wasn't taking no for an answer. She had even brought soup! And after all, who could say no to the delicious steaming broth of friendship?
"I could teach you easily. Give me five or ten minutes and you could be cranking out teapot cozies in no time."
"I'll take you up on that offer!"
Rose patted the vacant space on the cushion next to her, gesturing her to move seats. Jade broke free of her blanket cocoon, emerging to the other couch. Rose opened her bag and pulled out a much larger set of bamboo needles and a new skein of heather gray yarn, plopping it in Jade's lap.
"W-wait! You can't just give me this! This stuff is yours!"
"Consider it a little gift, friend to friend. Besides, I practically live in knitting supplies. I think I can allot one measly set of needles and a ball of yarn. "
Jade huffed but gladly accepted.
"Fiiine. Guess I'll just have to pay you back later, somehow."
She unfurled the label off of the yarn and took the end of the string in her fingers, patiently waiting for direction from Rose.
"We have to cast-on now," she explained.
"Cast-on?"
"Yep. Casting on sets the loops on the needle, like this-"
In a flash, Rose wiped the yarn around her thumb to form a slipknot and only seconds later had she crafted a row of perfect stitches. It happened so fast, and watching her do it was like witnessing some ancient form of magic as her fingers trailed the yarn around in perfect formation. It took Jade several times to get it herself, and far less gracefully, but after further instruction she was soon forming knit stiches and purling well enough to avoid bringing dishonor to the Lalonde name. The two of them sat together, the sound of chatter and cold metal needles clinking together filling the room.
"So," Rose began, "Got any plans this week?"
"Well, I've been dog walking."
"Dog walking?"
"Yeah! To raise money for the club! I'm making all kinds of progress, y'know. We're practically almost in the clear!...well, okay, I've still got a ways to go but…progress is progress!"
"What about attendance, though, Jade? We have you, me, John, and Terezi."
"…yeah," Jade sighed, "That is a problem, isn't it? I'm going to have to find some way to boost the attendance…hey! Maybe I'll just snag some members from Dave's dumb thing! He's got way more than enough." She laughed at the idea.
"Speaking of Dave," Rose casually shifted topics, "He's coming with us this weekend."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Jade questioned, incredulous. "We're going somewhere?"
"We're going to the amusement park. John's coming too, naturally."
"What?! When was this decided?!"
"We just forgot to tell you, of course."
Her poker face was infallible, a skill that was quite unfortunate in Jade's favor and fabulous on Rose's behlaf. What was she up to? Jade grew tense. This seemed very suspicious- since when did they ever forget to fill her in on stuff like this?
"So why are we inviting my rival?!"
"Oh, do you object to it? I thought you two got along rather well."
"Well, yeah, as of recently I mean, but…"
"So there's no problem!" Rose grinned, a teensy grin that sent Jade over edge with curiosity. Rose was hiding something, but what?
"Why Dave, though!? I mean, seems like you guys just invited him out of nowhere."
"Goodness sakes, Jade. We just thought some new group dynamics might be fun."
Jade narrowed her eyes a bit, suspicious.
"And hey, he's pretty darn cute. Such a cool kid. I quite fancy him. Don't all the girls?" Rose giggled, smirking all the while.
"W-what?!"
Wait, what? Was she just kidding? Rose wasn't really prone to that sort of jesting. She wasn't particularly flirtatious, either…or was she? All of Rose was just one big mystery. Was it really possible that she had a crush on Dave? Was this really happening? This absolutely, no way, no how, perfectly, could not, should not be happening. Surely this had to be some paradox in the fabrics of spacetime itself! Rose liking Dave like that was just…ugh! No! No, no, no, no, no. How was Jade supposed to compete with Rose Lalonde? Scratch that- Rose was her friend, there was no way she could go up against one of her most tried and true friends. But…oh, Dave. Dear, sweet, precious, sarcastic, horrible Dave. There was that other matter that had just been brought to her attention; she hadn't really paid much attention to the matter of him being popular with the ladies, to which she was now aware. What a powerfully painful smack to the face, beckoning her back to reality.
"Jade? Jade, what's wrong? Jaaaade?"
Her knitting needles had begun clacking together in a nervous frenzy, the yarn situated into a tangled wreck. Never knit while panicking.
"Hm?...oh, sorry! I guess I was just, uh…thinking."
"That's the most intense thinking I've ever seen."
"I guess."
"Is something the matter, Jade? You're looking flushed. Do you need to lie down?"
Her head was spinning, feeling stupid from getting worked up over the teenybopper drama.
"Yeah."
/ . / . / . / . / . / . / . / . /
"ROSE!" John was positively miffed as he whined into the phone. "Are you just TRYING to ruin our plan?!"
"You said to plant the metaphorical seeds of suggestion and plant them I did."
"You were supposed to get her thinking that maybe, just maybe, Strider isn't the complete dork that he is! Instead, you got her to think you're making goo-goo eyes at him! Ugh!"
Her nose crinkled up as she couldn't help but suppress a smile. "My sincerest apologies, but just trying to pretend he's anything but a dweeb is quite the daunting task. You should be thanking me for my superb acting abilities, John."
"No, Rose! I'm not! I spend all day coaching this dude on everything Jade related, which is a complete undertaking in itself, but then I find out that it might all be for nothing!"
"Alright, so, I overdid it. But I swear I'm going to fix it in equal amounts that I've messed it up."
The most exasperated of sighs escaped John's breath.
"Okay. We've got one week. I'll get him primed for Saturday as much as I can, and you undo whatever nonsense you've created with my cousin. Sounds like a plan?"
"Sounds like a plan. Oh, I do so love playing matchmaker."