Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Author's Notes: Thank you for reviewing and reading my story. Hope you like this new chapter … I'm already working on the next one.

P.S. Please don't hate me!

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A few days later – October 2008

She waited in her car in Claire's driveway, hoping that her friend would hurry out before the paparazzi would show up. She had her hair in a low ponytail; sunglasses poised on her nose while she glanced over her shoulder and down the street again to see if anyone had followed her the short distance from her house to Claire's.

Just then Claire stepped around the corner and after seeing Kate waive her hand in a 'hurry up' kind of manner she quickly climbed into the passenger side of Kate's Volvo. Her seatbelt hadn't clicked into place yet when Kate sped out of the drive.

"Miles can watch him for the rest of the day?" Kate asked without as much as a greeting.

Claire retorted back, clearly amused, "Well, hi to you too."

Kate glanced at her for a moment before focusing her attention back at the road, "Sorry. Hi."

"Yeah, Miles said he'll watch him. You plan on spending all day shopping?" Claire asked a bit surprised.

"No, actually." Kate shook her head and looked over at her friend again, biting her lip, before checking the rearview mirror again for any sign of a tail.

Claire raised her eyebrows and studied her friends profile for a long moment, "We're not going shopping, are we?"

Kate gave her a half-hearted smile that didn't reach her eyes, "There's something I have to tell you."

"O - kay." Claire answered dragging out the word, a bit unsure where this conversation was going.

Just then they stopped at a red light and Kate could actually look at her for longer than a second at a time, so she turned to her friend and said, "I wanted to hold off until James was back to tell everyone, but … but then I realized I didn't want to … I just couldn't do this on my own, so that's why you're here. I have to go see a doctor outside L.A. because … "

"Oh god. You're not sick again, are you?"

"No." Kate shook her head, and smiled, "We're having a baby. I'm pregnant."

It took a moment for Claire to realize what her friend had said, but once the initial shock wore off, Claire was ecstatic. "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys. I mean, wow, he'll be home soon and you're having a baby."

The traffic light turned green and Kate stepped on the gas. "I feel so much better now that I told you."

"What did James say?" Claire couldn't help her curiosity, "He knows, doesn't he?"

Hearing his name caused her heart to ache, because she missed him so much, but despite it all Kate smiled warmly at the memory of them sitting at the beach and staring dumbfounded at the positive pregnancy test, "He's real happy about it. More so then I thought he'd be."

Claire smiled widely, unable to contain her happiness at the news, and gave Kate a critical once over, "I knew there was something different about you."

Kate laughed, "You did not."

"I did so, you can ask Miles. I told him something's different, I swear, but we chucked it up to you just being happy he was coming home and all, but now …" Claire gave her friend a pointed look, "… Now I know where that glow is coming from."

"Glow?" Kate asked incredulous.

"Yeah." Claire looked at her again, "You look great."

"I don't feel great, but thanks." Kate answered.

Claire's smile faded and her forehead wrinkled in concern, "Morning sickness?"

Kate shook her head, "Not really, it's more like ... I don't know, I'm just anxious I guess."

"About?" Claire asked still looking concerned.

Kate glanced at her again, "Everything." She sighed, "Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Miles got Aaron all day, we got nothing but time." Claire quipped back, urging her friend to share some of her burden.

"You really wanna know?" Kate looked at Claire curiously.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care, Kate." Claire reassured her. "And I hope you know by now that your secrets are safe with me."

Kate nodded and tears welled up threatening to spill, she pushed her sunglasses up just long enough to wipe the tears away and swallowed the lump in her throat before she began, "Well, you remember when Michael led Jack, Hurley, James and me out to the others and we got captured?"

Claire nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well, that's kind of how it all started …"

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Claire was the one driving on their way back from the doctor's office and a nice dinner out. The baby was fine, Kate was fine. Both were in good health and she had more proof to show for it.

She eyed the sonogram picture once again, and couldn't hide the smile from her face while doing so.

"Can I ask you something?" Claire's cautious voice broke the silence that had filled the car.

Kate looked over at her, "Sure. What's up?"

"How's Cassidy taking the news?"

Kate looked at her surprised, "What?"

Claire glanced at her, "The baby. I mean, is she happy for you."

Kate tucked the sonogram back in the envelope the doctor's office had provided and cleared her throat, "I haven't told her yet."

Claire was surprised, "Really?"

"You're the only one who knows, and I'd like to keep it that way … at least for now." Kate added.

Claire glanced at her again before she focused her attention on the road ahead, "Wow, I'm honored, I guess. It's just …" Claire paused and Kate turned her full attention to her.

"What?" she inquired.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Kate, after all we've been through you are the best friend I have … I mean even all my old friend that I grew up with, they just don't understand … They couldn't possibly understand. That is one of the reasons why I stayed in L.A. to begin with, you know? They –."

Kate interrupted her, "I know it's hard to get close to someone when you feel like you have to lie about everything."

"Exactly." Claire agreed, " … but see, Cassidy knows what's going on, and as much as I'm honored that you'd trust me with these news, that you'd share this with me … I'm just a bit surprised that it's me and not her, you know?"

Kate took in a deep breath and thought her answer over in her head, "Same reason why you were my Maid of honor and not her."

Claire gave her a questioning look.

"Well …" Kate sighed, "… you haven't slept with the groom." She solemnly answered.

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Somewhere in Mexico

The dust hadn't settled around him just yet when he cut the engine, and with a freshly lit cigarette hanging from his lips he climbed out of the rusty old jeep Richard had left him with. Walking to the back of the vehicle to open it, he retrieved a few brown bags of groceries and carried them inside before he came back out and brought his newly acquired VCR and cables with him.

He put the perishables into the fridge first, opened himself a cold beer and lit yet another smoke before he got to work.

After disconnecting the DVD player from the 20 inch TV he began to attach the banged up VCR, hoping that despite the clearly visible wear and tear it would still work. It had taken him most of the day to find the damn thing, so when he plugged it in, put in the tape, finally hit play and Kate's face actually appeared on the screen before him he let out a sigh of relief.

Pulling the cigarette from his mouth, he exclaimed "Son of a bitch" to none other than himself when he grabbed the remote and turned up the volume just as Kate stroked his hair back and reassured the unconscious him lying in the bunk bed that he'd be okay.

James fell back into the chair with a sigh, unable to hide the emotions from his face that the sight and sound of her caring for him on that screen evoked in him. After taking a last long drag from his cigarette, he quickly extinguished it in the small bowl he'd repurposed into an ashtray on the small table beside him, before he pulled yet another one out of the pack and quickly lit it.

He leaned back into the chair, getting comfortable as he propped his feet up on the coffee table before him, alternating the smoke with a drink from his cold beer and seemed finally content while he watched Kate nurture him back to health on the screen before him.

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The coffee table was overturned, the small table that had been beside him had gotten a kick, broken dishes and beer bottles scattered the floor along with everything else that had gotten spilled when James had lost his cool just a few moments ago.

He pushed the door open so fast and so hard that it bounced back at him after hitting the side of the trailer as he almost desperately left the confined space that seemed to be restricting his breathing at the moment.

He took in a deep breath before his face visibly contoured to reflect all the anger and pain coursing through him at the moment.

"SON OF A BITCH" he roared angrily into the darkness that surrounded him.

What the hell did I do? How could I do something like that to her?

All his life he'd been hunting Sawyer, the real Sawyer … and yes, somewhere along the way he'd turned into just that. A conman that took advantage of trusting women, – and inevitably their husbands – whom were stupid enough to fall for his charade.

He'd blamed it all on Sawyer.

Every single thing! Every event which had led him down that road. Every con he'd pulled, Sawyer was to blame for it.

He was the reason his parents were dead. Sawyer was the reason James had turned into an orphan, so after his uncle had died of cancer, his grandparents too old and no one else in the extended family willing to take him on, he'd blamed Sawyer for bouncing from foster home to foster home until the day he turned eighteen and was no longer the government's problem.

Sawyer and his greed were to blame, when James had gotten himself into trouble – owing the wrong crowd some money – and with no family to lend him a dime he did the only thing he could think of. The only thing he'd been obsessing about since that fateful night. He turned into Sawyer. It had been easier then he'd imagined, and it sort of scared him just how quickly he'd gotten real good at it too.

Yet every time he'd walked away with a suitcase full of cash from some trusting couple, all the guilt and blame he might've felt vanished because he projected all of that back onto the man that had ruined his life instead. But …

… but somewhere deep down, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but think that maybe it hadn't been all Sawyer. Maybe the small boy that was hiding under that bed on that fateful evening just wanted to prove to himself and the world that this could've happened to anyone. He wanted to prove that his momma wasn't any more gullible then the women he'd conned. And his daddy wasn't any more of a fool than all those morons that had handed their hard earned cash over to him after only a meeting or two.

So when he stood in the darkness outside his trailer now, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, because he'd thought that the lowest point of his life had been when he'd stepped into the role of Sawyer and had worn the get-up like a second skin … but no it wasn't.

Now he knew that the lowest was when he'd wrapped his hands around Kate's neck and had tried to murder her, just moments after unconsciously confessing his love for her to Jack.

Wasn't that what everyone had said time and again to excuse his father's actions? How his daddy had loved his momma so much, he just couldn't bear the thought of another man having been with her.

Hell … guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Kate … now it suddenly all made sense to him. How desperate she was to get her hands on that tape while they'd been caught in that net, wanting to destroy it so he'd never see and know what he'd done … what he'd almost succeeded in if she hadn't fought him off like a hellcat under attack.

Mixed emotions filled him with an overwhelming force, when gratitude and anger were raging a war on each other within him.

She'd wanted to spare him the immense guilt that he felt; he could see that now and understood that too.

But in the same breath he was furious with her for keeping it from him all this time.

He quickly turned and staggered – like a drunk – back into the trailer, grabbed his cell phone from the counter and without giving it a second thought he dialed her number with shaking hands as he went back to the door and sat on the metal stoop, staring into darkness while awaiting that first ring in his ear.

But the ring never came. Instead all he heard was a robotic sounding voice telling him that this number – her number – was no longer in service. Quickly he dialed their home phone and got the same message.

"Richard!" He spat the name out like a curse.

Had that son of a bitch gone and changed her number?

Angry he tried his best to remember Claire's number and when it rang he hoped that he'd gotten it right.

"Hello." Answered a sleepy sounding voice on the line and James let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Claire?" he asked to reassure himself that it was really her.

"Sawyer!" she shrieked into the phone with so much relief in her voice … clearly she was wide awake now.

"Yeah." He huffed, some of his thunder gone.

"Oh my god." He could hear her voice breaking on the last word, "Kate told me everything, but it's still so good to hear your voice." She paused and he didn't know what to say, then she added, "We all miss you so much. Aaron won't stop asking about you, he doesn't really understand the whole dead thing yet, and I can't wait to tell him that the police made a mistake and that you are alive. We're all on pins and needles waiting for you to come home."

The mentioning of Aaron and how much he was hurting, made him think of his daughter, "How's Clem holdin' up?"

Claire hesitated, "She's got her good and bad days. Right after you died they had some reporters harassing Cassidy and her, but it calmed down. Cassidy's still mad, but that's no surprise really."

"Are they bothering Freckles too?" He wondered how she was doing.

"Yeah, some days, but she has gotten pretty good at avoiding them." That's when Claire changed the subject on him, "We saw the baby today."

"You what?" He spat back unsure if he'd heard her right.

"The baby." She repeated. "Kate had her first doctor appointment today, she was scared to go alone, so she told me and I went with her. I'm so happy for you guys."

He was dumbfounded, and his anger had disappeared altogether when he'd asked, "Is she alright? The baby …?" the words died down on his tongue.

"Yeah, she's great, they're great. The doctor said everything was looking good. From what Kate had told her and after the ultrasound, she estimated that Kate's almost fourteen weeks along, starting her second trimester. Her due date is April fifth next year. I'm so excited for you guys!"

"Fourteen weeks? That can't be right. She ain't even showing yet, I just saw her about a week ago." He started to backtrack in his head, his conversation with Jack coming back to him because he was just shocked to hear that she was already this far along.

"She's not really showing. She still fits in all her clothes, but she did say that her jeans are starting to feel way too tight."

"Fuck." James cussed in awe. "She'll be really showin' by the time I get back." He'd known all along that she would but hearing it from someone else somehow made it all the more real.

"Yeah, she will." Claire agreed, "But she's planning to keep it all a secret for as long as she possible can."

"That makes sense." A vision of reporters and paparazzi pushing a visibly pregnant Kate around appeared before his eyes and it pissed him off tremendously.

God, I need to get home!

"So what is going on, how much longer is it gonna take?"

"'bout two more months, Mamacita." Brought back to reality he remembered why'd called in the first place, "I tried to get a hold of Kate, but her numbers changed."

"Yeah, Richard suggested it, because -."

"I know, he gave me the same damn speech when he dropped me off."

Claire's voice became hushed, "I think we shouldn't even be talking either."

"Probably." James agreed. "I should go."

"Yeah." Claire whispered back, "Do you want her number? You know, just in case."

James chuckled at that and said, "Just in case I'm dumb enough to ruin this whole god damn plan by wanting to hear her voice. No thanks, I'll pass. The less I know the less damage I can do with it."

"Alright. You know I have to tell her that you called. You want me to tell her anything?"

He stood, feeling a lot calmer after talking to Claire, padded his chest with his free hand in search for his pack of smokes and found it. "Hold on a tick." He huffed while he fished out a cigarette and quickly lit it. Feeling the smoke fill his lungs instantly calmed him some more.

He exhaled and held the cigarette to his side, small red speckles flinging through the darkness, "Tell her … tell her I can't wait to –." He stopped, thought about it, then finally said, "Tell my Freckles that she ain't gonna have to worry 'bout her clothes fittin', 'cause when I get back she ain't gonna need any for a while."

Claire laughed into the phone. "Too much information."

James chuckled as he took another drag from his smoke, "Go on, tell her." He could just picture Kate rolling her eyes, god how he missed that. "And tell her I love her."

"I will." Claire reassured him. "Take care, Sawyer. It was so good to hear your voice. I can't wait 'till everything goes back to normal around here."

"Me too, Claire, me too. Bye."

"Bye." Claire answered and heard him hang up.

She sat up in bed and looked at her alarm clock. It was close to midnight, but she knew that if this was Charlie and her, she'd wanna know, so without giving it another thought she dialed Kate's new number and waited patiently for her friend to pick up.

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2 weeks later

Patsy Cline's voice echoed throughout the bedroom, and Kate swayed her hips to the beat. Still in her pajamas – charcoal gray yoga pants and one of James' t-shirts – she was looking through her clothes in search of anything that would fit but also conceal her slowly growing baby bump, when her phone rang.

She dropped the clothes in her hand onto the foot of her bed, turned the volume down on her iPod radio before she took the receiver and sat down on her bed, "Hello."

"Kate?" Claire asked with concern in her voice. "Are you okay?"

Kate leaned back against her pillow, her forehead in wrinkles, not understanding what had Claire so worried about her all of a sudden. "Yeah. Sure. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Kate immediately snapped to attention when Claire didn't answer. "Claire, what is going on?"

She could hear Claire sigh before she spoke, "I'll be right over, just give me a couple minutes to –."

"Claire?" Kate cut her off and begged, "Just tell me what is happening."

"I can't." Claire proclaimed almost desperately, "Not this, not over the phone. I'll be there in a few."

Kate heard the phone click and hung up herself. Perplexed she sat on her bed and wondered what had Claire so rattled and worried. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

With the music turned down, she suddenly became aware of the noise outside of her house and stepped over to the window to take a peek. Just like she'd assumed, she found paparazzi camped out on her front lawn.

What the hell is going on?

She walked downstairs, made sure that all the curtains were drawn, walked in the living room and turned on the TV, hoping that would shed some light on things.

She didn't have to flip through the channels for long when she saw the news.

Conman still conning!

Kate stood frozen in place in front of her couch with the TV remote still in her hand while she couldn't tear her eyes away from the TV.

In a grainy black and white hotel surveillance video there he was. James Ford– her presumably dead husband – with his arms around a slender scantily clothed big busted blond disappearing into a hotel room, but not before looking over his shoulder to ensure that no one was watching him.

So entranced and equally shocked by the TV report, she didn't hear Claire use her spare key and enter her house until the blond stepped into the room.

"Oh god." Claire's voice startled her and Kate snapped around to see her friend stand in the doorframe. "I'm so sorry."

She rushed over to Kate and the two women embraced in a hug just when Kate's chin began to quiver and she realized that this was real. This was actually happening. This actually happened.

He cheated on me!

She actually voiced her thought, "He cheated on me. James cheated on me."

"Come." Claire urged as she pulled back, "You should sit down."

Kate settled on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, tears streamed down her face, she looked at Claire and shook her head "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe he'd do that after everything we've been through."

Claire turned the TV off and sat down beside her, "I know." Claire reached out and put her hand on Kate's. "I honestly don't know what to say. I just don't understand it."

Kate's eyes snapped back to Claire's, "They said this was in Vegas. He went there with Miles …"

"Yeah, I already grilled Miles this morning. He said that James stayed longer at the bar, and he didn't see him until breakfast the next morning, but they had separate rooms. Miles said everything seemed fine, at breakfast and on the drive home too. He had no clue about any of this."

Kate buried her face in her hands and sobbed, "We had this … this stupid fight about him and Miles taking that trip to Vegas."

"I know, I remembered that too." Claire said with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kate."

Kate cried on Claire's shoulder and they both sat in silence for a long moment until Claire broke the silence, "What are you gonna do?"

"What?" Kate asked through sobs.

"What are you gonna do when he gets back?"

Kate wiped at her face and shook her head in utter despair, "I don't know."

"Do you still love him?" Claire said, as if it was the most normal thing to ask.

Kate took in a deep breath as if she had to think about it for a moment, and another tear rolled down her cheek when her eyes locked with Claire's once again, "I'd stop if I could."

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End Notes: Please leave a review or a comment to let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading! xoxo