Only If It's For You
NekoWriter
Chapter 10: The Trials We Must Face
"I was born without this fear
Now only this seems clear
I need to move, I need to fight
I need to lose myself tonight" – Kongos
It had been an entire month. The time wasn't painful, it was my state of unknowing that made it unbearable. There had been no contact with anyone from Hueco Mundo, but then again it was probably hard to reach me within a large white tower in the center of the Seireitei. I stared at the crumbling concrete walls trying not to think of Rukia. Aizen hadn't exactly gone over what would happen if I was caught.
"It was only a week. I got caught so easily." I yelled up into the empty tower letting my words echo back at me. My fist hit the ground hard, cracking it slightly.
The time for my trial was soon. I could only imagine what punishment awaited me when they sentenced Rukia to death for something so trivial in comparison. I sighed. Maybe Aizen would let her go? I had held up my side of the bargain until the end—I could only hope he grew bored with her and let her go.
"I'm sure they'll take you back Rukia… they have to." I smiled slightly at the thought of her being able to return to the Seireitei. The thought was bittersweet though. I wanted her to go back more than anything, but it was hard to think of that future without me.
My thoughts were interrupted by a loud crack signaling the opening of the door. Slowly, light engulfed the room until it was lit up by the pathway to the outside. Ukitake stood in the opening with a saddened expression.
"How are you doing Kurosaki?" He asked whole-heartedly. I wanted to tell him that I was scared to death for Rukia; horrified at the thought of being torn away from her for good; frustrated that everything came down to this but I couldn't.
"Having the time of my life." I responded emotionlessly. He came to my side within a few strides.
"What you've created is a very serious matter. One that we didn't think was possible. Never had we even considered the thought that you might betray us." His voice was lined with hurt.
"Things change. I can't say I thought it would turn out this way either." I sighed standing up, knowing why he was here. It was time to face my sins. "Let's get this over with."
"If you can just hand Rukia back over to us… Maybe Central 46 would be more willing to lighten your sentence." He begged following behind me out the door.
"That… I cannot do," I cringed in my head, "It's my fault that all of this happened. I will face any punishment." I walked forward suddenly being surrounded by chanting Shinigami encasing me in a barrier.
"Even if that punishment is death?" Ukitake was trying so hard to salvage what was left of my life, but it was too late.
"Especially if it's death." I lowered my voice to just above a whisper: "Maybe with my death she can be free."
The trial took place outside in a large courtyard surrounded by small buildings. It seemed like everyone in soul society was present. I assumed the large crowd was the reason why we were outside. The question was: how many of these people wanted me dead?
In front of the raised stand I was placed on, bound and chained, a large stadium in the shape of a crescent moon, was set up with the entirety of Central 46. The 40 men took seats around the outsides and the six judges sat in the middle in their own section. I felt more relieved that my trial would be fair unlike Rukia's. I paused a second on that thought. Why was I relieved? I was going to be sentenced to death. There was no question about it. Who would keep me alive after what I had done?
The crowd was loud; some people cheered while others screamed in protest. I looked around to see several familiar faces. Of course, all the captains lined the sides of the courtyard; probably in case I decided to attempt an escape—I would be disappointing them though. Other various Shinigami I knew, like Renji and Matsumoto, were in the crowd as well. The look on Renji's face was horrifying. He looked guilt-stricken and depressed. I felt bad that I gave him so much weight to bear on his own. I gave him a quick "it's okay" grin, but it didn't help his sullen expression. I gave the crowd one last look over, knowing it might be the last time I saw any of these people. What I didn't expect to see was my Dad followed by Karin. My heart sank.
"Karin…" I said out loud in a whisper. Our eyes locked—In that moment I knew she knew everything. How was it possible for her to be here? It was a stupid question; I knew how she got here. She crossed that boundary that I hoped she wouldn't have to. She became a Shinigami. As if to prove my theory her attire came into view exposing the zanpactou secured at her side. The sheath was a dark purple while the hilt was wrapped in white just like mine. She would make a good Shinigami, but deep down I couldn't get rid of the feeling that she would have made a good human as well. But more than anything I really hoped I would get a chance to talk to her before the inevitable.
One of the judges banged a small hammer against the desk in front of him calling the trial to session. The crowd grew silent. "Ichigo Kurosaki, Substitute Shinigami, of no specified squad, you have been charged with destruction of Soul Society, the endangerment of souls, kidnapping, and treason. How do you plead?" The judge spoke in a booming voice that echoed throughout the courtyard. With the charges laid out like that, I felt a bit of astonishment in how much damage I did in just one week.
"Guilty." A loud gasp sounded behind me as more than half the audience looked on bewildered. They expected me to fight for my innocence, but my innocence wasn't what I cared about.
"To all charges? You have no defense?" The judge sounded surprised.
"None." I replied. My feet were firmly planted to the ground; I would not budge on my decision.
"In that case, we will reconvene after we have reached a verdict and a suitable punishment if we deem it necessary." The six judges within the Central 46 piled out of the stadium after collected slips of paper from several of the 40 remaining members. The papers were probably telling the judges to label me a traitor and be done with it.
"Ichigo…" Karin's voice echoed from behind me. She had somehow made her way through the crowd to just behind the raised stand. I didn't want to turn; I didn't want to face her.
"Karin, go away." I said through gritted teeth refusing to look her in the eyes.
"Ichigo, I know!" She yelled at me. It made me spin, giving her what she wanted: a conversation face to face.
"Dad's an idiot." I sighed.
"You're an idiot! Why don't you just tell—" I cut her off,
"Stop it Karin!" I begged. I came this far, I wasn't going to let her reveal my secret.
"I don't want to lose a brother!" She looked like she wanted to cry, but released it as anger. Her fists stayed at her sides balled up.
"And I don't want the last thought of your brother to be like this" I motioned to my restraints and the stadium.
"Then don't let it be…" Her eyes pleaded with me begging for me to reconsider. I ignored her statement and continued with what I needed to say before I didn't have another chance.
"Karin why did you become a Shinigami?" I asked.
"Why?" She looked taken back by the question, "Because I wanted to protect people. I wanted to help protect you. I asked Urahara if I had the ability. When he told me I did, I begged until he… helped me." I cringed, remembering what that entailed.
"Sometimes that comes at a price Karin." I saw the judges piling back in out of the corner of my eye; I was running out of time. "Don't be stupid. Keep Yuzu safe." I bent down to whisper in her ear, "And when Rukia comes back… take care of her." Karin swallowed like she had something stuck in her throat. She nodded sadly, but stepped away knowing she was out of time.
The judge's voice sounded through the courtyard again: "Ichigo Kurosaki, we, the Central 46, find you guilty on all counts against you." Even though I was prepared for this it still made my heart stop. I nodded at the judge telling him I was prepared for him to continue. "As for punishment, 1,000 years of confinement then you will await another trial to further your sentence." He banged the hammer as I looked on in shock.
"What…?" I questioned out loud at no one in particular. Half of the crowd rang with loud protests wanting the death penalty while others sighed in relief at the sentence. I didn't know how to feel. This wasn't what I was expecting. Would Aizen let Rukia go if I was still alive? The fear set in realizing that the possibility of her release became extremely unlikely.
"Why?" I questioned the judge who seemed to have control over the proceeding. "Doesn't what I did warrant death?" Not that I was trying to rush to an early grave, but I didn't understand.
"We have become more lenient with the death penalty after certain incidents.'" He raised his eyebrows at me. That meant it was my fault. I sighed inwardly not sure if I inadvertently helped or hurt myself. "But we do have our reasons as well." He stated frankly dismissing the court.
What do I do now?
Live. We live.
In Hueco Mundo
A group of Espada and Arrancar gathered in a large meeting hall lead by Aizen. Most sat nonchalantly waiting for the meeting to end while others looked on anxiously. Rukia sat at one side of the table that the group surrounded; she was the most anxious. She hadn't given the thought that Ichigo might be captured any thought before it happened. It seemed impossible to her.
"Does anyone have any questions?" Aizen asked glancing around the hall. A smirk lined a few faces.
"This is going to be fun." One laughed while another Arrancar nudged him in agreement.
Aizen smiled when he saw that everyone seemed to be in agreement about the plan. "Then you are all dismissed. We take action tomorrow morning." The hall emptied within minutes; all who remained were Rukia, Aizen, Tousen, and Ichimaru.
"Well that leaves you. What do you want to do?" Ichimaru questioned in Aizen's place.
Rukia looked deep in thought struggling with a decision. "I don't—".
"Don't you miss Soul Society?" Aizen smirked trying to get a reaction out of Rukia. Rukia just glared at him in disgust. "No matter. You don't need to come." The three ex-captains proceeded towards the door.
"Yes." Rukia said with a look of determination.
"Yes?" Ichimaru questioned.
"I am coming. I will bring Ichigo back." She replied making her words sound like a promise rather than a statement.
A/N: Enjoy! Let me know how you like how the story is turning out! I can tweak it if anyone has any suggestions.