A/N: woooo. So, I moved to LA, was trying to get used to my new surroundings, struggling to cope with school (it's a lot of fucking work, jfc, I've barely had time to breathe) and also coping with immense homesickness. Hence, this chapter was super late, and it might also not be as good as I'd hoped it would be. Regardless, it wasn't fair for me to just hold back on the chapter, so here goes nothing.

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Ohba and Obata. I own nothing but my idea.

Chapter 10: Confusion

When Mihael liked someone, he knew it. When Mihael felt a strong sense of physical attraction for someone, he had no trouble placing it. Or acting on it, for that matter. It had always been as easy as that for him, and it still was.

Which is why, when he got done with his date with Takada, and she'd asked Mihael if he'd like to go out again, Mihael hadn't hesitated to say yes.

He was, after all, almost certain he liked Takada. He was most definitely attracted to her.

He knew he liked talking to her and hanging out with her, and she was pretty too, and she wasn't clingy or constantly nagging him like the previous girls he'd dated. She was a lot more understanding. Added to that, she was smart, too. She was confident, bold and proud, refusing to bow down to anyone.

Mihael could easily see himself being in a relationship with her.

The trouble, however, much to Mihael's displeasure, was in regards to how he felt about Nate. For someone who'd never had trouble placing his feelings for someone, Mihael was certainly struggling to place these feelings, because if Mihael liked hanging out with Takada, he absolutely loved spending time with Nate. He'd probably never admit to it out loud, it was a big enough deal that he was admitting it to himself, but he looked forward to his meetings with Nate.

Just like he'd looked forward to his dinner with Nate. More so than his date with Takada, the person he was actually supposed to be interested in. It didn't add up. It didn't particularly make sense. It was frustrating.

Nate could be annoying, mean, downright offensive, yes, but there was a certain honesty and sincerity to him that appealed to Mihael. It made those little compliments Nate paid him that much more meaningful, because Mihael knew Nate wasn't just saying them.

When Mihael had found out that Nate liked listening to his demo to help him sleep, he couldn't help but feel incredibly flattered. He remembered grabbing the record player out of Nate's loosened grip, slowly pulling the earphones out. Nate had been deep asleep by then, breathing soft and slow, his face calm and peaceful. Mihael had been unable to stop himself from simply looking at Nate, at how different he looked. His face wasn't the usual stoic mask. Instead, there was something tender and innocent about him, a certain naivete to it. Mihael had the sudden urge to reach out and rest his palm on Nate's cheek. He wasn't sure where that had come from. He'd then slowly plugged the earphones into his own ears.

And then he'd heard his own voice, soft and rhythmic, greet him, accompanied by soft music.

It had been unsettling at first, but Mihael had soon found himself smiling softly. There was something inherently heartwarming in the knowledge that Nate chose to seek comfort in Mihael's music, if only to help him relax him and fall asleep. It could've been taken as insulting, but something in Mihael's head told him that it wasn't meant to be one. It was meant to be a compliment, a huge one at that. And so Mihael had looked back at Nate, his smile intact, and he'd let himself reach out and run his fingers gently through Nate's hair, for just a moment. And then he'd retracted his hand, pulling the earphones out and settling down on the bed, eyes closing.

There was also something disconcerting in the fact that this was the memory Mihael found himself halting at and really focusing on, while he presently sat in his room, trying to find inspiration for words that fit for the music he'd created. He let out a groan of frustration, setting his guitar down on his bed. Standing up, he began pacing around the room, running his fingers through his hair. He paused at Matt's desk, picking up his cellphone and going through the list of text messages he'd ignored. The latest message was from Takada, wishing him luck for his upcoming performance at Indigo, as well as the promise of a surprise that Mihael would greatly appreciate. Mihael smiled lightly at that. The message just beneath that was from Nate, and Mihael found his heart skip just the slightest bit reading his name.

Get a grip, he berated himself. He opened the message.

'Mihael, I hope your preparation has been well. You need to be present at Indigo tomorrow by 5 pm. The opening is at 8pm but there will be a rehearsal before that. Do not be late.'

Mihael smiled, almost picturing Nate's serious face as he typed in the text. He quickly typed in a response of his own. 'Won't be late, don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow, Nate.' Mihael sent his response and waited for Nate to text something, because Nate always did. He waited a minute, then two, and eventually five. There was no , Mihael was almost about to place his phone back on Matt's desk and go back to working on his music, but stopped. He scrolled back to Takada's name and typed in a quick message to her.

'So I'm a little stuck on this one song. Mind if I asked for your help?'

Takada's response was almost instantaneous. 'Sure. I'd love to help.'

True to his word, Mihael was not late. He reached Indigo at a quarter to five, knowing he'd have to spend at least over five minutes searching for a place to park his motorbike. When he'd finally found a good enough spot that would ensure he didn't get a ticket, Mihael made his way over to the entrance. He paused in his step, however, when he noticed the shut doors and significant lack of guards or people in general in the immediate vicinity. He decided to approach the doors anyway, reaching out and tugging at the handle. It wouldn't budge. Sighing, Mihael reached into his pocket and pulled his cellphone out, hoping to get a hold of Nate. He'd texted Nate a few times before in the day, but there had been no response. He decided he'd call him instead.

Before Mihael could dial the number, however, Mihael heard voices conversing with one another, slowly growing louder as they approached him. He turned around and came face to face with Jordan, and another dark haired man he wasn't particularly certain he recognized.

Jordan came to a halt in front of Mihael, the man beside him stopping as well. "Hey, Michael right?" Jordan greeted, bringing his hand forward.

"It's Mihael," Mihael corrected, shaking Jordan's hand lightly. He pulled back and glanced at the man beside Jordan. "I'm not sure I've met you before."

The man laughed, stepping forward and clapping Mihael on his back. "So you're the elusive Mihael!" He exclaimed. "Nate's talked about you quite a bit, but I never got the chance to meet you at your last gig. I'm Light Yagami."

Realization dawned on Mihael. "Sayu Yagami's brother and agent, right?"

Light looked impressed. "I didn't think I was well-known."

"You aren't," Mihael commented. At Light's offended look, he quickly backtracked. "I mean, Nate and I ran into Sayu at dinner, and she mentioned you being her brother and agent. That's kind of how I know you."

Light waved his hand dismissively. "Where's Nate?"

Mihael shrugged. "I'm not sure. He hasn't replied to my texts all day."

"Oh, that's typical of him. He is very bad at responding to texts, especially ones from his clients. I remember Sayu used to complain a lot about that, back when he was her agent, you know? Anyway," Light gestured towards the closed doors, effectively cutting off any reply Mihael had been preparing to give, that Nate never ignored his texts, that he always replied to Mihael's texts, in fact even helped him with his music, and took a step forward. "I think we should head inside."

Jordan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "I'm kinda nervous about opening night."

Light squeezed Jordan's shoulder gently. "It's going to be fine." He glanced at Mihael and smiled. "You have a very interesting performance line-up."

-x-

Most of the performers for opening night arrived almost an hour after Mihael did, not bothering with any last minute rehearsals. They were in the main part of the club, helping themselves to some light drinks at the bar before the club officially opened. Mihael, on the other hand, was backstage, in the rehearsal room, focusing entirely on perfecting his songs, making sure he didn't mess this up. He was in the midst of one of his songs when the door to the rehearsal room barged open.

Mihael abruptly stopped playing, looking up to see Nate at the door, lips pursed into a thin line. He wasn't alone, however. Standing beside him was L, hands shoved into his trouser pockets, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Hello, Mihael," L greeted, while Nate stood to the side, crossing his arms across his chest. "How are you doing?"

Mihael set his guitar down on one of the chairs behind him and walked up to L and Nate, grinning broadly. "L! I had no idea you were going to be here." He then directed his gaze to Nate in particular and added, somewhat accusingly, "Why didn't you respond to any of my texts today?"

Nate opened his mouth to reply but L cut him off easily, lightly placing his hand on Nate's shoulder as he did, "Oh, I'd been keeping him busy all day today, so I apologize if he didn't find the time to respond to your texts."

Nate glared at L. "I could've said that myself, L."

L shrugged, stuffing his hand back into his pocket. "I just wanted to wish you luck for tonight." He told Mihael. "And also to ask you if you're satisfied with whatever Nate's been doing for you so far, you know, as an agent."

Mihael's cheeks tinged just the lightest shade of red. "Yeah, he's been okay."

Nate now directed his glare at Mihael. "Just okay?" If Mihael didn't know any better, he'd have almost thought Nate looked genuinely hurt. Not offended, like Light had seemed when Mihael had told him he wasn't well-known, because he'd somehow hurt his ego. No, Nate looked more like he was genuinely hurt that Mihael thought he wasn't doing a good enough job for him, despite the fact that he was trying very hard to do so.

Mihael patted Nate's arm, laughing. "I lied. He's been really good for me, and I'm glad I have him for an agent."

"Whatever," Nate muttered, flushing. He looked over Mihael's shoulder, at his guitar and added, "Were you rehearsing?"

Mihael followed his gaze and nodded. "Yeah."

Nate shot him a look of confusion. "Why? You've performed these songs so many times before. I almost expected you to be by the bar, trying to build your connections with the other musicians."

Mihael rubbed the back of his neck. "Er, yeah, you know, I just didn't want to fuck up by being too complacent. Besides, I figured I can always chat them up after the performances."

Nate smiled. "If it's any consolation, I personally don't think you can fuck up."

Mihael caught the strange look L shot Nate before he said, "It is."

-x-

Indigo's opening night wasn't exactly how Mihael had pictured it to be. It was a lot more crowded than he'd expected. He was used to crowds, god knows the previous clubs he'd performed at had been excessively crowded, but this was different. This club was one step higher from all of those and when he'd seen the line up of the musicians backstage, he'd almost had to take a step back and reconsider going up on stage. The keyword here was almost.

When his name was called out, there wasn't as strong an applause as Mihael had hoped he'd have, but then again, he knew he shouldn't have been expecting it. He was still starting out, he wasn't as established as the ones who'd gone up before him, and the ones who'd go up after him. There was a reason he was in the middle—easy enough to forget, should he mess up—and he knew that the entire success of the night did not hinge on his performance. He was just grateful for the chance he was getting, and he intended to make the best of it.

And make the best of it he did. He opened with the song he was most comfortable with, the very first song he'd ever written and had been proud of, which incidentally happened to be the same song that had made Nate decided to sign Mihael on as his client. The applause gradually came, soft at first, and then louder.

Throughout his performance, which spanned about three songs, Mihael's eyes kept seeking out familiar faces amidst the huge crowd. More often than not, his eyes remained fixed on Nate for long moments, until it became too awkward and Nate ended up looking away, either by coughing into his hand or by pretending to strike up a conversation with the person beside him.

It was only when Mihael had reached his final song, and he'd found Nate's eyes once again from among the crowd, did Nate's look of awkwardness shift to something else entirely. Surprise. Mihael smirked and looked away, looking at rest of the audience. From the corner of his eye, however, Mihael knew for certain that Nate was still staring at him in surprise.

When Mihael finally finished up his performance, there was a decent round of applause, maybe not as strong as the applause for the ones before him, and maybe there were no chants of 'once mores', but it was enough. He didn't fuck up. He waved out, thanked the audience and headed backstage.

As soon as he'd set his guitar down on one of the seats, Nate walked over to him, his face his usual stoic mask. "That last song you performed, I've never heard it before." He said without preamble.

"No, 'good performance, Mihael', 'I knew you wouldn't fuck up, Mihael'?" Mihael asked, amused.

Nate shook his head impatiently. "As your agent, I need to be aware of all your songs. I wasn't aware of this one. What if this song was one of your weakest, and no one liked it?"

"I just thought I'd try out something different," Mihael said, shrugging and making his way over to the bar, hoping to find Matt or Linda or Takada around. He still wanted to know what her supposed 'surprise' was. "I thought it was good."

Nate quickly followed after him, trying to catch up to his longer strides. "Yes, it was good, but that's besides the point. The point is—,"

"Point is that you didn't know about it, and I admit, I should've told you about it," Mihael interrupted, stopping in front of the bar counter and signaling for the bartender, before turning to his side to look at Nate and add, "I asked Kiyomi though, and she liked it."

"Kiyomi knew about your new song?" If Mihael wasn't mistaken, there was a tinge of jealousy in Nate's tone.

"Well, I had to ask someone. In my defence though, you weren't responding to my texts."

Nate frowned. "I was busy with another client, Mihael. You could've just called me up. If you'd told me it was regarding a new song, you know I wouldn't have ignored you."

Mihael's eyes widened in surprise. "You have other clients?"

Nate's lips twitched at that. "I'm an agent, Mihael. Of course I have other clients. Granted, I can see why you'd be surprised, considering I did spend a considerably large amount of time around you these past few weeks, but yes, I do have a couple other clients."

Mihael shook his head, eyes still wide. "You just never mentioned them."

"I wasn't aware I was supposed to."

Mihael sighed and looked at the bartender, who'd been patiently waiting for the two to get done talking. "Whisky, double. Neat."

"Any preference?" The bartender asked him. Mihael simply shook his head in response. The bartender nodded and looked at Nate. "Anything for you?"

Mihael looked about ready to answer but Nate beat him to it. "No, thank you."

Mihael looked at him and smirked. "Smart choice."

Nate rolled his eyes, taking a seat at the bar-stool. Mihael followed after him, making himself comfortable and tapping his fingers on the table. The bartender placed his drink in front of him and Mihael instantly took a sip, sighing in content. He looked around the club, eyebrows furrowing. "Where the hell are Matt and Linda?"

"I think I saw them talking to someone back there." Nate answered, looking at the crowd of people around the stage.

Mihael shook his head, downing the remainder of his drink and signaling the bartender for a refill. The bar tender obliged. "You'd think they'd come and congratulate me on my performance or something."

"Maybe they want to enjoy the rest of the performances." Nate reasoned. He eyed Mihael's second glass and added, "You should go easy on that."

Mihael let out a loud laugh. "Look who's talking!" Nate frowned at the off-handed insult. Mihael looked at Nate seriously then, the intensity of his gaze causing Nate to look away briefly. "You know," Mihael began, repeatedly poking Nate's hand with his finger, "You didn't tell me if my performance was good, Nate."

Nate indignantly grabbed a hold of Mihael's finger with the full intent to push it away, but almost jumped in surprise when Mihael didn't let him loosen his grip, instead using the rest of his fingers to wrap around Nate's hand. Flustered, Nate said, "I already told you that you wouldn't fuck up, didn't I?" He made no move to pull his hand out of Mihael's grasp.

Mihael adjusted his grasp, loosening the one finger that was still in Nate's hold and wrapping that around Nate's hand, too. He absently began rubbing his thumb across Nate's hand as he said, "Still, I'd like some validation, you know." With his other hand, Mihael downed the rest of his second drink. He signaled for another one. He noticed Nate shift in his seat uncomfortably and loosened his grip almost imperceptibly. "Do you want me to let go?"

Mihael held his breath as he awaited Nate's response. He wasn't sure why he'd reached out for Nate's hand to begin with, or why his heart was beating at a much faster rate than was normal, or why he suddenly felt warm all over. Okay, maybe the being warm all over was the alcohol. Still, the alcohol didn't explain the racing heartbeats or the sudden urge to want to be closer to Nate. "Nate?" He asked once more.

Nate slowly shook his head, refusing to look at Mihael. Mihael smiled as he tightened his grip on Nate's hand once more. They sat in silence for a few long moments, Mihael reaching for his third drink, taking his time with this one while Nate pretended to look around the club, consciously making an effort to not look down at either of their hands.

"I think you're drunk," Nate said finally, clearing his throat but still refusing to meet Mihael's eyes.

"Why do you say that?" Mihael questioned.

"You're actually seeking validation from me, and that's not something you would normally do." Nate answered, finally meeting Mihael's eyes.

Mihael appeared to consider this. "You do realize your opinion matters to me, right?"

"And that's another thing you'd never say to me if you were sober," Nate pointed out calmly. "You're drunk."

Mihael shrugged, sipping at his drink. He stayed silent, focusing on the feel of Nate's hand in his. It was somewhat clammy, and if Mihael shifted his fingers just a bit, he'd be able to feel Nate's pulse. He almost wanted to do it, just to see if Nate's heart was racing just as his was, or if that was just him. He knew alcohol generated warmth in the body, but the more Mihael focused on the warmth, the more he realized that it seemed to be concentrated in just one part of his body—the lower part of his body, if we were being precise—and that, more than anything, was what left him feeling confused. He wasn't sure if the reason was Nate himself, or if it was the alcohol and Nate just happened to be around to emphasize on it. Maybe Mihael would've reacted the same had it been Takada, instead of Nate. Maybe he wouldn't have. Honestly, at this point, Mihael would rather not think. And so he closed his eyes, continuing to rub his thumb against Nate's hand and sighing in content.

He only opened his eyes when he heard someone call out to him, and judging from the voice, or as much as his alcohol-buzzed brain could process, it was Takada. "Mihael, there you are! I'm so sorry I didn't come to you sooner. There were all these people I had to talk to, and of course, there was this surprise I had for you but I kind of messed that up, I'm sorry." As soon as Takada came into clear view, standing beside Mihael's bar-stool and placing her arm on his shoulder, Mihael felt Nate pull his hand out of his grip.

Mihael looked up at Takada and smiled. "That's okay." His voice came out slightly slurred. He could feel Takada rub his shoulder gently and because Mihael's heart still hadn't stopped racing and because he needed to know, and yes, maybe because he was drunk and horny, he grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her down, leaning his own face up to press his lips against hers.

Takada was taken aback momentarily as Mihael moved his lips against hers, standing up shakily and wrapping his other hand around her waist, pulling her against him. Takada finally kissed him back, wrapping her own arms around Mihael's neck.

Mihael wasn't certain what it was he was doing, but kissing Takada was certainly helping him relieve some of his tension from before, the tension that had slowly and steadily been building in the pit of his stomach and that was all he needed for now. He kissed her for a few seconds longer, and then slowly pulled away. They were both breathing heavily, and Takada stared at Mihael in wonder. "Wow," she breathed.

Mihael swallowed thickly. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that."

Takada quickly shook her head. "No, that's—that was fine." She looked over Mihael's shoulder and laughed awkwardly. "I guess Nate didn't want a show."

It was only after Takada uttered those words did Mihael realize that Nate had been right there when Mihael and Takada were making out, and he suddenly felt very, very bad. He turned around and was met with am empty bar stool.

Mihael found himself searching for Nate amidst the crowd, but there was no sign of him. "I wonder where he went off to," He muttered.

"It doesn't matter," Takada said, gently turning Mihael around by the shoulder to face him and leaning forward to kiss him once again.

Mihael returned the kiss, trying to lose himself in the feeling of pure lust, the feeling of Takada's soft lips against his own, and the way she was turning him on quite spectacularly.

And yet, the only thing Mihael felt as they deepened the kiss, was overbearing guilt and the lingering feel of Nate's hand in his.

A/N: welp. Don't worry, the main conflict between the two is not the love triangle. That's a promise. The main conflict is yet to come :)

reviews are appreciated. And once again, sorry for such a delayed update. I won't even pretend the wait was worth it, but eh.