Just realized that to keep the buffer between my finished chapters and the rest of the unwritten story, I can only put up 2 chapters... so any anticipated ack-shun will have to wait till next week sometime...

Nanny-chan: I still don't own Naruto………. but I DO own my fanfic! Bwah hahaha!

Torture at Work

Later on that evening, as everybody was out and about, tending to their own lives and business, Kakashi felt rather alone.

Around now, if he were in Konoha, he'd be either at the memorial thinking or at the Ramen shop teasing Iruka or hanging with Genma at the bar.

Following the sounds of curses and mechanical bleeps, bips and crashes, Kakashi found himself looking down at Raiden as he stared stolidly at a large screen showing a one-on-one combat game.

Kakashi watched the sloppy moves and winced.

Looking down at the dull, bored face below him, Kakashi grinned.

"What are you going, Raiden-san?"

He enjoyed Raiden's startled yelp and his resulting glower.

The spirit of a boy should never remain dead….. Sasuke…..
Raiden frowned at the suddenly silent Jounin.

"Just playing," he grunted.

Kakashi watched the words blink on the screen.

Press 'S' to start game.
"Uh-huh," he said, unconvinced, and sat down beside the small figure.

Raiden turned to the shinobi.

"Have you played this game before?"

"…. No….."

"Have you EVER played video games?"

"Ummmmm…. No……"

"How weird is that?"

"Rather odd, I guess, to you?"

"What WERE you doing when you were eight?"

There was curiosity beneath the boredom. Non-malicious and intelligent. Kakashi didn't know how to answer the boy.

I can't just tell him the truth– I was killing people when I was your age.

No.

Raiden turned away and glowered at the screen. Kakashi scratched his head and picked up one of the plastic controls.

"When I was eight….. I was trying to make my own fighting technique."

Raiden turned to look at the shinobi in surprise.

"For real? You made one?"

"Well, I made one technique – the day I became a full-fledged shinobi, I completed it."

"So I guess Li is wrong then and you CAN kick ass."

"Well….. there's price to pay."

Raiden nodded, his eyes too wise for his years.

"Isn't there always?"

"But… I think this old dog could learn new tricks," Kakashi said, thumbing a button idly.

An hour later, Gina, Ren, Izashi and Mai entering the dark penthouse could hear somebody laughing.

"No, you idiot! Turn left, then right! Just pretend you're driving!"

"I haven't driven before… much…."

"Ahahahaha! Baka ninja!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Try again – this time, don't go up in flames."

"Stupid track walls."

Raiden is laughing? Gina paused in the doorway. The room was dark – lit only by the large blue shine of the TV screen.

Kakashi's mouth was slightly agape as he concentrated hard on turning his car round corners and past the traffic.

As he passed the finish line third, Raiden jumped up and down crowing. Kakashi chuckled. The two froze at the sight of the four servants standing in the doorway shocked.

Raiden turned away sharply, his mouth turning down in displeasure. Gina shut the door quickly, leaving Kakashi to deal with the boy. Mai shook her head.

"Who would've thought?"

"Well, he IS a honey," Ren said.

Izashi pouted.

Ren smiled and dragged him off to their rooms.

Mai, shaking her head again, wandered into the kitchen. She would make a snack for her poppet and his new friend.

Outside on the balcony, Kakashi and Raiden sat, dangling their legs out of the bars. Raiden, looking at the moon, frowned.

"Ninjas know how to deal with everything, right?"

"I wish that were true."

Raiden looked uneasy.

"Have you ever been AROUND animals?"

"Well….. there are animals in Konoha – farm animals…. Dogs….. um… turtles…. And bugs…. Frogs….. Slugs…."

Raiden looked skeptically at the shinobi.

"Some people fight with them."

Raiden raised his eyebrows.

"Uh-huh…." He said, disbelievingly.

"Never mind."

"So you don't have anything gross in your village?"

"Eh?"

"Nasty? Bad?"

"Well….. there's this guy…. With snakes…."
"Did you meet him?"

Kakashi stared into the yellow eyes – so chilling, so inhuman.

"Kakashi, that boy is an avenger – he WILL come to me."

Orochimaru turned, glancing back at the frozen shinboi lighted by his lightning technique. With that glance came a thousand deaths – pictures – painful, violent and full of bloodlust. He was being stabbed by kunai, sliced by shuriken, his blood welling out of his mouth.

"You said something about killing me," taunted Orochimaru. "Why don't you try it?"

His voice faded into sudden darkness as the chidori blinked out abruptly.

"'Even if I die, for the Village, I can bring a Sannin such as you down'," muttered Kakashi to himself. "Am I an idiot?"

Kakashi pulled a face – remembering the feeling of impotence against the bloodlust of the snake summoning Sannin.

Placing his hand on his heart, he could feel the quickened pulse just thinking about it.

Next time. It WILL be different – I promise.
He had survived Orochimaru's bloodlust and he had survived Itachi's tsukiyomi.
Next time. They will survive me – just barely.

I have a jutsu no one can copy.

Suddenly he was aware of the cold iron beneath his tightly clenched hand. Raiden was looking at him curiously.

"Old memories die hard," the shinobi explained.

Raiden nodded.

"I have bad ones too."

Mai came over, carrying a plate with cookies and juice on it.

Kakashi hesitantly bit into the cookies. They tasted sweet and powdery.

"You like?" asked Raiden. "They're western but people like them over here, too."

That night, Kakashi quietly entered his room, keeping a weather eye out for falling buckets, erasers and any type of startling noisemaker. Undressing and then pulling back his bed sheets, Kakashi froze.

A snake in my bed?
Then, he chuckled, relaxing.
Geez! That boy! What an interesting kid to pull one on HIM!
He could hear Gai in his head admonishing him about Naruto.
"Be nice, Kakashi! Youth is a time for mistakes. It can be sweet but it also can be sour – so let them grow!"

"Eh? What?"

"Ahhhhh! Kakashi! Stop being so cool! Aren't you getting too old for this act?"

Kakashi, with lightning reflexes grabbed the back of the snake's head, and, letting it twine around his arm, walked into the boy's room.

Entering quietly, he found what he suspected – a glass box with grass and branches in it and some netting on top.

Lifting up the netting, prying the snake off his arm, Kakashi dropped the creature back into its natural habitat.

"What are you doing?" asked a scared but firm voice.

"Returning somebody lost to his home," Kakashi said dryly. "It's a good thing I found him in my bed – anywhere else and people might have been hurt."

He slowly turned and faced the boy now sitting up, his dark hair all ruffled.

I will not think of Sasuke. I will not!
"You're no fun."

"I'm not the type to fall for pranks….. well, I am no longer. A few years of teaching has honed my sensing skills. People seem to forget I'm an elite ninja."

"Oh? People pulled pranks on you?"

"Yeah…. Well…. When I was young, no. My first experience with pranks was when I took on three kids to teach."

"Teach? You're a teacher?"

"I was a …. Team leader."

"And they pulled pranks on you?"
"From the first day……"

Kakashi meandered slowly down the quiet hallways, reading the door numbers until he came to the room, which he knew vaguely to belong to some hot-headed, chestnut haired Chuunin, named Iruka.

His newest team should be there waiting for him. He didn't need to see the clock to know he was running late.

Whatever. One important trait in a shinobi is patience.

Ah! Here's the door!

Opening the door, he felt something hard hit his head, covering his head in light dust.

What. The. Hell?

Looking down, he spied a chalkboard eraser, picking it up, he eyed his newest students.

There was the prankster Naruto – the obvious perpetrator – openly laughing at the success of his joke.

Hahahaha! The idiot teacher fell for it!

There was the pink-haired Sakura – the intelligent one – shaking her hands.

"I told him not to do it, Sensei!"

But Kakashi noticed the faint gleam of laughter in her eyes.

Yeah – uh huh….

There was the Uchiha – at his desk – totally isolated and looking at him with certain disdain.

Is this a Jounin?

Kakashi sighed.

Great. He would get the craziest team! He knew it! Just from observation he had known them to be problematic – but not this troubled!

"Hmmm….. well…. My first impression of you guys…" Kakashi stared down, with a hard look at his Genin team. "is….. I hate you."

Everybody looked gloomy.

Raiden laughed.

"Yeah, I guess you would be the type to get pissed off easily."

Kakashi shrugged.

"I don't think 'pissed off' is really the right term. I was more irked. But things didn't stop there, really. It took me awhile to learn that my team was different – they helped me to be flexible, to enjoy a good laugh…. They taught me a lot of things…."

Raiden smiled wistfully.

"I wish I had friends like that!"

Kakashi grinned.

"Well, you do, as long as I'm here!" He frowned. "But you best get back to sleep – we both need to be perky for tomorrow, I imagine."

Raiden nodded, slipping down further under his sheets.

"Mother's concert is tomorrow – so, yeah, you're right. Goodnight, Kakashi."

"Sure. You too."

The next morning was spent quietly. For the most part.

Everybody wanted to know why his eyes were mismatched.

What is with that scar?

Don't you worry, plastic surgery can take care of everything.

No, don't let a knife near that face, dearie, it's fine as it is.

Yeah, scars have a really rakish air.

It'll get him the ladies, damn it.

Don't say damn it, shithead.

You afraid you can't compete against a bodyguard.

Yeah, they'll definitely want to see his moves.

Going to show us your stuff anytime soon? Lazy bastard.

Stop swearing at Kakashi.

He's doing nothing wrong.

He's doing nothing right.

When DID you get that scar?

Leave him alone, Ren.

Yes, Yukimoto-san.

Why do you always wear a mask when you're so obviously handsome?

It's smart.

Women always go for masks.

Ayame would go crazy over him.

Well, he's MINE.

…………

Yes, well…..

"So. When's your next concert," Kakashi said, in hopes people would focus on real life other than his face.

"After tonight? Tomorrow is a dinner, and the night after THAT is another concert. Then we move to the next city." Raiden sighed.

Kakashi looked downcast.

Geez! It's nice to travel but to never have a home to go to! What a life to live! I guess I wasn't bullshitting when I told Sasuke that we struck lucky having the friendship of Konoha…..
Kakashi looked down at his plate.

"I see…." He murmured.

"Don't worry. You'll see how it's all set up, tomorrow afternoon, when we all go to the theater to prepare."

Megami leaned forward and let her eternal fan drift down Kakashi's leg underneath the table. Kakashi's skin crawled.

Where Aiko was free-spirited and naïve, Megami was predatory and world-weary. Kakashi decided that he would rather face off with Itachi any day than end up in his client's bed.

Sorry, Iruka.
And if he said no to Megami, Gina would definitely be off limits, since going out with her would cause the singer to lose face.

He tried to inch his chair away, but Mai wasn't moving.

Damn these women.
Damn these women!
Kakashi sighed as he extricated himself from another shellfish of a socialite in a very revealing red dress.
Don't they have enough men over here?
Kakashi never once considered the fact that the women were attracted to his unusual attitude and beauty.

Raiden giggled at the shinobi's side.

Ever since the prank, the boy had been stuck to the ninja permanently, even ignoring his older brother's taunts. After all, the ninja had proved himself to be capable and not at all snobby – and rather nice too, since he hadn't tattled to Megami about the incident.

Sitting back uneasily in the front row of audience room, Kakashi looked around, noting the size of the crowd and the puniness of the guards.

Just like that Chuunin Exam, which seems so long ago. There had only been eight ANBU there….. and the price we paid – was too high. Well….. that only means that I REALLY have to keep a weather eye out.
Several minutes later, the curtains drew back to reveal a highly elaborate set – a garden scene. In the middle, on a beautiful love seat, Megami sat and sang,. She walked around and sang, was joined by girls and guys (lovers?) and sang, swung on a swing and sang and did all sorts of things while singing songs.

Kakashi sighed.

I have to hear this over and over again? Geez! This is horrible! I can just feel my brains rotting out.
Raiden fell asleep. Li disappeared. Gina pulled out some sewing. Ren and Izashi sighed and held hands, while Mai stared off in her own little world.

By the time the concert ended, Kakashi was almost ready to join Raiden for a nap. It was rather late at night – too late to keep a boy up at, in the ninja's estimation.

Despite hanging back, shadowing and keeping an eye out for anything, Kakashi was not able to see anybody suspicious. Nobody attacked and everybody made it home safely.

With a sigh, Kakashi snuggled under his blankets wishing he was somewhere else as Ren and Izashi made out on their bed.

Why me? Why? Why? Why? What did I do, Hokage-sama, to merit such an awful mission? I know I was away long but still………
After a while, Ren fell asleep and Izashi, turning to the restless shinobi, whispered, "I'm sorry – did we keep you awake?"

"You think?" asked Kakashi crossly.

Izashi sighed. "I guess we just didn't think – we're so used to being by ourselves. But don't worry – the way Megami was looking at you tonight in your formals – you won't be sleeping in here for long…."

"THAT worries me more," Kakashi grumbled, wondering how to decline his client without being massacred – or worse, fired.

"It isn't that bad," Izashi said.

"You've done that?"

"I'm not her type."

"Lucky you."

Izashi grinned.

"Get your sleep, Kakashi, you're going to need it."

The next night, Kakashi found himself trapped in a long, black, shiny car with his client. Before he could say, "Shuriken", Megami was in his side of the car, draping herself on him.

Here I am…. Stuck in traffic, stuck in a car, stuck with a sex-crazed woman.
For once in his life, Kakashi actually felt panic in the face of a civilian. Looking down at her coyly smiling lips, her pert face and at her hands sliding up his thigh to….. Kakashi caught his breath and frowned.

"Yukimoto-san," he said, lifting her hand away gently. "Please – but no."

The woman pouted.

"You like to play hard to get? I guess the women always are chasing you back in your village…. So….."

"Ummmm…. No….. it's not like that." Kakashi said, chuckling lightly.

Anko considers me old. Kurenai is dating Asumo – although they maintain they're just friends. Shizune is more interested in Iruka. Tsunade is…. Well….. anyway…. There's that weird horticulturist lady…… but she's after Iruka…. Hmmm… seems like a lot of people are after Iruka…. There must be something about him I don't see. Which isn't surprising since I'm a guy.
"Well…. Are you… gay?"

Kakashi laughed.

"No."

"Then…"

"I'm just not interested."

"You can't perform?"

Aiko gasping out his name in a spasm of pleasure.
Kakashi blushed.

"No."

"I don't understand."

"You are my client – I don't want to jeopardize this mission by getting entangled with sex or anything like that. It's a thing of honour for me….." Kakashi paused, trying to think of the words that would make her understand his position. "There is no future for us – and with things the way they are…. Well, I just don't want anymore distractions…."

Kakashi eased away from her trailing hands and sat opposite her.

"You don't want anything more from me? I'm not attractive enough for you? Is that it?" Megami asked.

"No. No. It's not that…."

What the hell? I'm not a doctor to help this woman with her obvious mental problems!
"Well, then…."

Within the blink of an eye, Kakashi found himself straddled and two warm hands up his shirt.

How the hell did this woman move so fast?
Kakashi squirmed and, pulling her hands off of him, mentally apologized to Iruka once more.

"Please, Yukimoto-san ….. Megami…. This isn't right and you know it."

Without warning, Megami slapped him full across the face and screamed.

"Don't tell me what is and isn't right, you bastard! You're just like the rest of them!"

Fending off the random blows to his body, Kakashi tried to calm the woman down. While he felt bad and slightly disgruntled about the fact he had to say no to her (after all, he DID have sex with Aiko), he knew that within Megami was a void he could not fill.

She would deny it. But I can see it in her face and in her eyes.

In her eyes and on her tear-stained cheeks.

Breaking down into heavy sobs, Megami fell forward – Kakashi caught her in his arms and held her. For a moment he was non-plussed by this woman who seemed to be as tempestuous and changeable as the sea, but, remembering the hug he shared with Sakura, he held her gently and murmured nonsense to the woman.
Yes. This woman needs healing. Ahhhhh. And does it HAVE to be me?
When they arrived at the mansion, Megami straightened up with great effort and took a long, shuddering breath. Kakashi tried to pat her wild hair down and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Yukimoto-san," he said, heavily. "This type of thing – I never …. That is to say, the mask I wore – there have been many reasons for it."

Megami smiled, painfully and looked him over. Absently, she straightened his, now crumpled, shirt. She sighed.

"I never…. Had a male friend before…."

"What about Ren and Izashi?"

"They aren't friends. They're servants."

"I'm your servant too."

"But not in that way."

"No."

"They would sleep with me if I asked them."

"Men of no principles, I guess."

"Hmmm…. Well… that's the first time I've ever done that…. Beating a man up, crying on his shoulder and then, talking…."

"Hoe?"

"Most of my relationships… well, never mind…. We're here!"

With a smile on her face, she climbed out of the car, with great aplomb despite her haywire appearance. Kakashi grinned at the acting – then smiled crookedly when he saw the happiness in her eyes. The relaxation. The mask gone.

Whatever happened in the car was good for her. I hope we can get on better from now on….
"Kakashi…. I don't know how it will go…. But, please, after that performance, you truly deserve something."

"What would that be, Yukimoto-san?" he asked as they ascended the stairs to the large front doorway.

"I'm not sure…. But…. Kakashi," she turned, a step higher than he, looking down at him with a calm smile on her face. "You can call me Megami from now on."

Kakashi grinned.

"Thank you for the honour."

"Now, let's go knock them dead."

"Hai, hai!"

Knock them dead? Is that a joke? Or an allusion to something?
He looked at Megami and then past her to the servant opening the door for them with a disapproving sniff and beyond, a bunch of well-dressed elite lords and ladies looking at them with raised eyebrows.
Was she just – doing IT - in the LIMO?

He must be her new boy toy.

Well, I wish he were mine.

He's so cute!

Is that grey hair for real?

Megami grinned and Kakashi followed her into a world he had never visited before.
After that night, the work seemed less like torture for Kakashi. Relationships settled as the group slowly traveled through India, stopping at two more cities for four more concerts before heading to Kakashi's native land.

Even as he set foot in the Wind Country, he felt once again at home – safe and sound in a relative way – knowing that with things now familiar once again, he would be able to gain advantage against whoever was out there.

Who cares if it's just the Wind Country? It's great to be home.

UPCOMING! Iruka beefs up! Gaara, Temari and Kankuuro deal with boredom at a stupid singer's concert! Temari makes... amove!