My control grew stronger every day. Our only guess was that my sudden belief in myself was what helped me the most. After another month of practice, I was able to go just as long as Jasper was without hunting and could be near humans without an overly overwhelming need to drink them.
The first try was of course, very difficult. I left for a walk about an hour after sunrise, Edward and Emmett flanking me on the left and right. We walked about 50 feet from a sidewalk heavily populated with humans. I was forced to hold my breath at first, and ended up turning back in defeat two hours later. But the next day it was a lot less difficult. Over the next month or so I worked my way from 50 feet from the sidewalk to actually walking the streets like any other normal person. And within the last week Alice had joyfully tortured me with shopping day in and day out at every store she came across. I knew it was the thing she wanted most, so I rarely complained. Rarely.
Surprisingly enough, Alice was freeing me from shopping today. I welcomed it as a final day to spend alone with Edward. The coming Monday, the Cullen children would be attending Forks High. This would mean I would have eight solid hours of doing nothing everyday, what with Carlisle being at the hospital and Esme doing her little motherly tasks. I thought of all of this while sitting in the front room. Emmett and Jasper were playing a video game I didn't care to identify and Edward sat with me on the love seat, unconsciously rubbing soothing circles into my palm.
Alice appeared in the doorway joining the kitchen and family room along side Carlisle and Esme. She flashed a smile in my direction and I-- half-heartedly-- returned one to her. Everyone else looked up as well, Rosalie appearing on the other side of the room, having come from the garage most likely.
"We're going hunting. We'll need to be our best for Monday." Alice smiled throwing me a glance that confused me thoroughly.
Everyone headed to the door, all except Edward and I. "You should hunt too." He said noticing my presumably darkening eyes.
I agreed, not willing to turn down any time to spend with him. We followed the rest of the family and hunted in our own little party. We both had our fill and returned back in the direction of the house. I was full and once again agreed. When we were about a mile from the house, Edward slowed and I mimicked him, wondering where the need for speed had gone. Now we were walking, and I could feel Edward staring a hole into the side of my head. When I looked to him, he stopped to face me, grabbing my hands and leaning towards me.
"I have a surprise for you." He whispered into my ear, tauntingly. I felt his cool breath on my neck and leaned forward in shear lust. He pulled away and I smiled. He turned back towards the house, shooting out in front of me. I chased him and we arrived in no time to the large white house. Edward pulled me inside where all the Cullens were waiting our arrival.
He sat me down on the couch and I waited, not so patiently for him to reveal my surprise. Esme sat down by me and smiled, grabbing my hands and whispered,
"We've enrolled you in high school as well." I stared at her in disbelief, trying to read her expression. I started laughing, looking like a loon in front of my entire family. I looked at everyone's face and quieted.
"You... you're serious aren't you?" I looked to Edward and he nodded. I lightly pulled my hands from Esme's grasp and smiled at everyone-- before running into the room I shared with Edward and locking myself in. Edward was the first to arrive at the door as I slammed it shut in his face.
"Bella, what's wrong? Don't you want to go?" He was speaking to me like I was six.
"Well yeah but, but... I'm going to kill people, Edward! There's no way I'm ready!" I was unnecessarily yelling now. I knew everyone could hear me more than normally well, but I couldn't calm myself down enough to speak in a rational tone or volume.
"Isabella Cullen," he said my beloved name with such intensity that I couldn't help from smiling, "you are not going to kill anybody. Haven't you seen yourself these past weeks? You're amazing. I can't believe how in control you are!" I could picture him with my favorite smile covering his face. I opened the door to find him staring back at me with an expression just as I had imagined.
"OK." He smiled but I gave him a look and continued. "But are my classes with yours, at least?" Edward nodded and at the same time a booming laugh I could only ever identify as Emmett's rang through the house. I appeared at Emmett's side with an ominous look that could make small children cringe, attacking his laughter until it smoothly died and he walked away. I heard him mumble as he walked , "--can't have any fun in this house." I picked up a fake apple from the dish on the coffee table and chucked it at his head. He turned to look at me and I burst out laughing. He rubbed the back of his head and walked up the stairs to his room.
I spent the next day-- Sunday-- shopping for suitable school clothes with Alice. My fear for the day to come thickly blanketed my annoyance in being forced to shop at... Alice- point.
I looked out the window and saw the sun begin to rise in the distance. I sucked in an unneeded breath and stood from the couch. I walked the hall over to Alice's room so that she could have her way with me. Despite her speed, it would take her the time to be her usual detail oriented self. After an hour Edward knocked lightly on the doorframe and walked in. Jasper was nearly being sucked into the huge closet Alice had somehow managed to obtain in search of the match to his sneaker. I turned from Alice and pleaded with him in my mind to free me. It was for no use, however. These were the times I wish he could read my thoughts. Somehow he got my message and started playfully arguing with Alice to let me go get dressed.
"I'm almost done! Now butt out, you!" She would whine repeatedly. I would laugh and she would yell for me to sit still. It was a vicious circle that ended up with Alice losing hope and setting me free. I ran faster than necessary to our room and went to get dressed. Alice had laid something out, of course.
Within the hour, we were in Edward's car and heading to Forks High School, where I had gone all those years ago. Alice and Jasper joined us and Rose and Emmett took the BMW, which obviously excited Rosalie. The entire ride I debated throwing myself out the door and running until I was out of the country. As soon as I decided on it, Alice reached from the back seat and locked my door, giving me a glare that said 'You are not ruining that outfit. I can see the stains you plan on causing and it is not going to happen, missy.' Edward just chuckled and I sat back in my seat and pouted.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I felt a rush of smells engulf my senses. The only one I took notice to was the blood all around me. Edward smiled at me, got out, and walked around to open my door. I stepped out and cowered at Edward's side. Students rushed passed me in the morning rush of a new year. Some smiled at me and I flashed answering smiles but tried to keep a distance. When we walked towards the main building, I separated from Edward by a foot or so. I was feeling okay, despite the smells taunting me. I looked to Edward and he nodded, smiling an encouraging smile. I looked worried but nodded. Turning back, I ran head on into a senior. He was a medium build, nothing compared to Emmett. I hissed vehemently and looked into his eyes. I briefly saw my reflection and gasped at the dark color of my eyes. The stress was burning my cover off quickly, making me thirsty.
Edward apologized for me and pulled me away. I returned to cowering by his side and went to class. Edward took care of getting my schedule so I wouldn't have to test myself further. We sat in the back in every class and Edward kept everyone away from me. I picked at my food just as the others did at lunch. I was surprised at how pizza had been a favorite of mine and now it just disgusted me. We continued our day, finishing the last few classes as I gripped tightly to the thought of the day being over. Jasper shared a few classes with us, in which he would calm me while quizzing me on how I was feeling. It was extremely annoying, but I knew he was just trying to help, so I didn't complain.
By the end of the day it took me all of my strength to not lure someone into the shadows. I nearly ran full on to the Volvo, catching a questioning stare from every person I passed. Edward came to meet me first, followed by Alice with Jasper in toe. They all apologized for my bad day and I just shook my head and asked to go home.
The ride home was depressing and I could tell everyone was looking at me. I tried to ignore it, but then I felt the calming waves and I lost it. I looked around the road and saw nobody near us except for Rosalie and Emmett behind us. I looked back towards Alice and I saw she wasn't going to give me trouble. I jumped out into the crisp night air and darted into the woods. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I waited a second to make sure nobody was following me.
After running for about an hour, presumably in circles, I stepped out into a clearing. I looked down and saw gravestones littering the ground. I found a grave for Charlie. He had "gone missing" and was never found. I knew the truth. Next to his, I found my gravestone, also empty beneath the dirt. Seeing the roses left by my friends and family led me to sink to my knees and sob. I wasn't sure exactly how long I went like that, but it was more than two hours. Edward stepped out of the woods and found me in a heap on the ground. He kissed me and helped me up.
"I'm so sorry." He said. I had no idea why he was apologizing.
"It's just all come down on me now. I had everything under control before, but the day today and the fact the I should happen upon here," I waved my hand out to the area around me "it just brought it all out again. I'm sorry for acting like this. I really should be over it." I frowned at him and he smiled.
"It's only natural, Bella. And school will get better. I promise. It was this hard for everyone when they started out. You'll be okay. Now, let's go home. Alice would like to have a word with you." I shuddered and he laughed.
"I love you, Edward." He smiled and leaned down to kiss me.
"I love you too, Bella." We walked towards our home, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company.
The End
A/N: I know, but let me explain. I feel like I can only write a story well when I'm really into it. I'm just... not. So, this is where I must end it. I will be starting a few more shorties, but I'm leaving for six days soon to Cali to visit my aunt insert retarded happy dance here.
I apologize and I'm sorry to let you down. I have to admit it doesn't feel too good to me either. Who knows? I might think of somewhere new to talk Forlorn and pick it up again. I am never at a loss for something to write.
I love you guys so much and I really, really hope I can carry some of you from here to another story. I'd love to hear from all of you again. You're like penpals.
ILY, dsmldejection