How do you learn to trust someone when your trust has been abused? How do people trust others in any case? Are we all born with the innate knowledge of how we do so? And if you are the soul, such as myself, that has had that ripped out, how do you learn to trust another person? When do you know that you have found the person that could heal that pain?
Kirin was the first. I never revealed my identity to him until everyone else in the world knew. He thought me a great rebel against Raizen, who by that time, though already a great fool, was starting to regret any actions against humans. Kirin seemed to think my random streaks of terror was supposed to be a way to "stick it to the man." And so he asked for my permission to follow me. Gather some friends and others to help me do a sort of coup d'etat.
It worked. But it never progressed further than me being placed on a pedestal, the god in his eyes. I wasn't sure I really wanted a friend. You never realize that you would like one until you've experienced both companionship and solitude. I didn't trust him enough to tell him who I really was.
That was how it always was. I didn't think he had anything worth my time.
And so the second, the one that caused a stir at the tournament after his apparent disappearance from Area-13 Northeast. (You know the place.) The supposed "Cursed Child," a name I thought was secondary and moreover, melodramatic.
At the time of meeting, I managed to slip in to his unconscious, just to be sure that he wasn't someone I would have to murder. In fact, I had planned to just have the secrets of the Black Dragon stolen from him and then have him executed should he be unworthy of living.
Instead. Peace. Someone knowing what I had known about the world. Someone who wanted to leave this life.
Someone like me.
I could have let him die. Yes. I could have just revived him and left him be a nobody. Instead, Kirin was replaced. I exposed every scar on my body, every inch of my unscarred side also visible.
At the time, I wondered, Is this a mistake? Am I going to foster a disgusting desire? Should he really know? Should I just keep Kirin as my second in command anyway?
But a promise is a promise, Hiei. I said I would hide nothing.
Where that moment would take me, I never knew. But for once in my life, that unknown didn't seem as bad.