"Are you supposed to be a superhero?" Peter demanded, tapping his foot expectantly.
Deadpool cocked his head to one side. "It depends on how you'd define 'superhero,' webslinger." For once, he sounded deadly serious.
"I would identify 'superhero' as someone who doesn't /murder/ people!"
Deadpool was silent for a moment before he gasped in realization. "Oh! You're referring to that gas station!"
"Of /course/ I mean the gas station! What else would I mean?" Spider-Man squinted suspiciously at Deadpool. "What else did you do?"
"Nothing!" Deadpool replied defensively. There was a beat of silence before he admitted, "Okay, there were a few other things…"
Peter groaned in disbelief.
"Everyone I've ever killed is a bad guy," Deadpool hurried to explain. As if /that/ justified his actions.
"Superheroes don't kill people, regardless of who they are!"
"Okay. Say I catch a criminal and lock them up," Deadpool began after a moment. "What if they escaped and killed a ton more people, innocent people that I could have saved by ending the bad guy's life?"
Spider-Man paused. Deadpool did have a point in that regard…
"No," he said weakly, his voice gaining confidence as he talked. "Murder is /evil./"
Deadpool sighed. "Then how do /you/ propose I fight crime?"
Peter thought for a moment, then started to pace the alley before Deadpool. "Okay. Here's a deal," he said. "You work with me for a week - just one week, that's all I want - and try out /my/ crime fighting methods. If you think they're less effective than your way, then you're free to do what you feel you need to do. Otherwise, you're a changed man and we both go home happy."
"So at the end of the week," Deadpool asked slowly, "if I decide to return to murdering criminals, you'll really just let me do it?" He snorted disbelievingly, shaking his head slightly.
Peter paused. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he decided after a tense moment of silence, although mentally, the bridge was, of course, already crossed. "So? What do you say?"
Deadpool shrugged. "Sure. What do I have to lose?"
/Your freedom, if you don't cooperate,/ Peter thought vengefully, but silently nodded. He turned and began leaving the alleyway.
"Hey!" Deadpool called indignantly. "Come cut me down!"
Peter turned around, walking backwards as he held up his hands helplessly. "Sorry," he replied innocently. "I don't have anything sharp. It wears off in two hours, give or take."
He turned back around and strolled off, grinning as Deadpool spat profanities behind him.
Once he was in his bedroom, Peter had time to think about what a bad idea this truly was. He hadn't even gotten Deadpool's contact information! He would just have to trust that the anti-hero would turn up at the next major crime scene.
And that the man would uphold his promise. /Sure, because he seemed/ so /trustworthy./
Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair and flopping backwards onto his bed. What was he doing with his life?
He would call Ned and talk it out. That would calm him down.
Someone knocked on his door and Wade opened it before Peter had a chance to give him permission to enter. "Hey," he greeted him. "How goes it?"
Peter shrugged, continuing to stare at his ceiling. "Good, why?"
"Why'd you climb in through the window?" Wade asked casually without further preamble.
Peter's mind froze as he grasped desperately at the first excuse that came to him. "I…like hanging out on the roof."
Wade shrugged nonchalantly. "Cool. Let's go up tonight."
"What?"
"Stargazing, Parker. Heard of it?" Wade swept out of Peter's room before he had time to answer. Peter stared after him disbelievingly.
Had Wade just asked - ordered, if he was being truthful - him to /stargaze?/
Peter was certain Wade had forgotten about that incredibly strange conversation by the time that night rolled around and had already changed into a plain white T-shirt and pajama bottoms when a sharp knock came at his bedroom door. He sighed irritably, slamming his laptop closed. "Come in."
Wade was already opening the door. He was in similar pajamas, although they were a bit too small for him. It was rather distracting.
"Ready?" Wade asked. He made it sound like they were going on a date or something, Peter thought dryly before pushing this from his mind.
"Sure," he replied, trying to act as casual as possible as he turned and crossed his room to push open the window. He climbed onto the fire escape outside and waited for Wade to join him. The metal trembled as the latter boy stepped onto it, but even if they did fall, Peter trusted his Spidey senses to save him, if not Wade.
They climbed up a short ladder to get to the roof. Peter had actually only been up here once or twice, when he needed to change into his Spidey suit and couldn't do it in his bedroom, for whatever reason. He glanced around the plain concrete rooftop idly as he waited for Wade to join him.
"It's nice up here," Wade said, and Peter flinched at how close he was standing. "Nice view."
Peter looked over the nearby buildings and caught his breath. Wade was wrong - it was an /amazing/ view. The nickname of a "city that never slept" was never proven truer than at night, when bright lights stood out among the shadows and car horns and sirens filled the air. The last sound still made Peter tense, but tonight, at least, he was going to let the police deal with any petty thefts or robberies that might be occurring. It was a decision he hoped he wouldn't later come to regret.
"Now," Wade said, "you wanna tell me what you've really been doing over the past few days?"