THE WOST DAY

(Santana)

Hanukkah at Berry's home was one of the most constant family festivities I knew. Zaide took advantage of papa's presence to ensure free medical consultations. He is diabetic, which was the target group of my father's research. Operate diabetics was more delicate and risky, so he, as a general surgeon, wants to find a way to promote faster healing in a patient with this disease. Zaide was fully aware of my father's work and took advantage: he shows all the medical exams and asked about predictions. Until this part, everything is okay. But these two argue every time Zaide implied that I should take over his business. Daddy didn't like the pressure either. He suffered it when he was younger and didn't want the same for me.

"I was talking to my friend, Caleb Weiz." Zaide sat on his leather armchair and lit a pipe. "He reaffirmed me that the Stuyvesant's admission tests are still standing."

"I don't think this is a matter to discuss this holiday, avi." Dad was always annoyed by the Zaide's intrusions, especially in front of papi.

"But this stubbornness to not talk about her proper education is eating her precious time. Santana is not an ordinary girl. She should be in New York studying in one of the best schools of the country."

"Zaide! Please!" I almost begged the adults in the room to change the subject. "I'm happy where I am."

"I say what's right, yeled." Zaide ignored me and focused on the adults. "I took every opportunity I could for you. But I see you don't do the same for your bat."

"Sorry Joel, but this is not an issue that concerns you." Papi punched the arm of the sofa. "Hiram and I are perfectly reasonable in all that concerns our daughters and, on behalf of our friendship and peace, please, stop."

"Joel." Bubbee nudged Zaide. "You promised!"

Zaide faced bubbee's intense green eyes and fell silent. The whole family breathed relieved. My grandparents never discussed about Rachel's Broadway dreams. Maybe because my sister was so scatterbrained. For sure, they thought the stage and dazzled celebrity life was the best for her. I haven't had the same luck. Zaide insists I should fully inherit the textile factories and take the family business, so he finally could retire and take a cruise around the world with bubbee. It's his dream I go to Harvard and graduate with honors and merits. I wasn't sure if it was mine. I was focused on other things and on Brittany.

My theory was that Zaide wanted me to make all the dreams he drew for dad and hadn't materialized. He was poor, had working since he was seven and couldn't go to college. Daddy said Zaide got frustrated when he chose Botany on OSU instead of Economy or Business. Rachel was a nullity, then his hopes was on me. Zaide openly said that he would pay all of my studies if I choose The Business School.

Bubbee hated any discussion involving my future. She was always quiet, and looks disinterested. A strong image I had from bubbee, besides the intense green eyes, was the austere act, although she melted with Rachel. Sometimes I think she doesn't like me that much because I am not her biological granddaughter. People say I'm the female version of Dr. Juan Lopez, and Rachel is daddy's biological daughter for sure. Look at her nose! But we don't care about it. Zaide doesn't care. Abuela doesn't care and so the other Lopezes. Instead, it seems genetic is important to bubbee.

It's a tradition to celebrate the last day of Hanukkah in Cleveland with my grandparents. Zaide, Dad and I wear our kippah. The little hat was a symbology that God is always above us. Jewish women haven't such obligation, but let's say I was sentenced. I made a treat when I was eight and Rabbi Amnon ratted me out. Dad grounded me. Because of this, for revenge, I invaded his bedroom during an anniversary lunch and stole all his boxers. I took everything to the winter garden and put fire on them. I almost burned the house in the process. Dad was so ashamed that he beat me up for the first time in my life, and Rabbi Amnon said that from now on I would have to use the kippah. Even as a woman, I had clear need to remember that God is above me. What can I do?

We prayed at the table, bubbee asked Rachel to sing Jewish songs at her Steinway black piano. We lit the last candle of the menorah and then we have a dinner. Then, we exchanged gifts, as Christmas. Every year was the same thing and I loved it.

The day after the Hanukkah, shortly before returning to Lima, I found zaide in his office. I knocked on the door and walked slowly, respecting his space.

"Boker tov, Zaide."

"Boker tov, Santana." He smiled and waved me to sit down.

"Working on Sunday?"

"Just checking some numbers."

"Can I help?" I knew it would regret, but couldn't avoid. Biologic or not, he was my dear grandfather and I loved him so much. Zaide gave me some spreadsheets full of numbers. I read them as well.

"What do you see?"

"The factories are stable. But it seems you need to make some cuts to improve finances. Isn't what this chart says?" I pointed and Zaide agreed. "Resign some employees is the most obvious way. On the other hand, seems cruel." He smiled and took off his glasses.

"What would you do?"

"I don't know. Maybe I would invest in employee training to improve the productivity before cutting heads. I also would think of other ways to optimize the industrial process. A little advertisement can help too."

"It's a possibility." He took back the sheets. "You're a natural, don't you know?"

"I just can read through the numbers. It's nothing that special, zaide."

"You should be in New York, Santana."

"I want to." I was sincere. "But not before school. I have my friends, my home, my comfort."

"Don't you think one of the best schools in the country worth the sacrifice?"

"I don't know."

"You could go to Harvard. It's a waste you spending time in that village."

"I can still go to Harvard... okay that could be hard to be accepted with cheerios and coral in my extracurricular activities."

"Stuyvesant could ease your way. Don't waste the opportunity. My friend assured me that you will have all assistance and he even could offer an internship at his company. "

"Zaide, everything is very tempting, but don't want to think about it now."

"I will try to keep this window open as long as I can, Santana. Please, think about it."

He stood and gave a pat on my head. Zaide wasn't satisfied with my reluctant posture, but he wouldn't push me beyond what is acceptable. By midafternoon, after recovering from a great lunch, we were ready to leave. I hugged my grandparents, and the rest of my family did the same. Dad was always the last one. He said: "I love you" to his parents before getting in the car back to Lima.

…

(Rachel)

I was so excited to present my proposals to Regionals to my glee fellows. I took some time during the Hanukkah to research some things on internet about a new musical inspired by rock bands. And I also watched some video clips and took some ideas to costumes, and possible arrangements to seize the five strongest voices of our team: Finn, Artie, Santana, Mercedes and, obviously, me. I would show Mr. Schue that we could be epic and technically perfect without losing our heart. But first, I had advanced calculus class, the last before the lunch break. Santana was distracted and I thought she wouldn't disdain the teacher this time. Thank God. The last time, she was almost suspended. Quinn was beside her, Mike was on the last row and I, as always, sat ahead. I tried paying attention but, somehow, I couldn't concentrate. My sixth sense told me that something was about to happen.

"Santana and Rachel Berry-Lopez." Ms. Pillsbury interrupted the lesson. "Could you get your books and come with me?"

My heart was pounding. I looked Santana at two chairs behind me and she had lost color. I looked at the other students in our class. Quinn and Mike were with a curious brow. I packed my things as fast as I could and held my sister's hand when she passed me. She was cold.

"Do you know what happened?" I whispered to Santana, but she made me negative sign.

Ms. Pillsbury walked us to the lockers and asked to put all our stuffs in. At this point, I was about to throw up of anxiety in the hallway.

"Ms. Pillsbury, could you tell what's going on?" My voice was almost a whisper.

"I'll explain later."

"No! Explains now!" Santana was demanded. "Don't you see this suspense is killing us?"

"The hospital called." I leaned in Santana because my legs were wobbly. "Please girls. Come up to my room."

"For God's sake, what happened?" Tears already ran on our faces.

"Did we could..." Our guiding insisted.

"No!" Santana grabbed her arm forcefully. "Just tell me what happened because I don't know if I can take two steps beyond here."

"There was an accident... with your father, Hiram. I don't know more details, girls, I swear. Your other father, Dr. Lopez, is currently in the operating room..."

I heard nothing more.

…

(Santana)

Hiram Joel Berry was born on August 14, 1966, in New York City. He was the son of the blue-collar worker Joel Berry and the jazz pianist Sarah Berry. At that time, one of the largest metropolises in the world was exploding on a social and culture revolution. The Beatles released the revolutionary "Revolver", by far my favorite of them. Lennon said Beatles was more popular than Jesus Christ. Even in religious controversy, Bob Dylan was called Judas by playing electric guitar. Neil Young created Buffalo Springfield. Elizabeth Taylor was in the cinemas with "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf", a film that would give her an Oscar. Our soldiers were in Vietnam, women burned bras in the streets and began to wear miniskirts.

Of course daddy couldn't remember all that. He was an 80's guy and had a crush on Simon Le Bon. He enjoyed a nice childhood in Brooklyn without luxuries, but the bread was always on the table. When he was nine, the Berries moved to Cleveland, Ohio. Joel Berry had saved enough money to open a small textile factory. Zaide also counted on Lionel Weiz's founding, his former boss. The business thrives in the Midwest and, gradually, the young Hiram begins to enjoy a comfort life. He was accepted to Ohio State University in Columbus, where he studied botany against his father's wishes. Daddy said once that the day he left home to live in a dorm at OSU was one of the happiest days of his youth. As if his lungs filled with freedom.

Still in college, he came out the closet to his father. The news wasn't well received by Joel and they no longer speak for years. Still, her mother called him every week to make sure he was ok. On Columbus, Hiram met a Buckeyes football player and future doctor Juan Ernesto Lopez. They met at a party and become friends. At another party, Hiram tried to kiss Juan and ended with a broken nose. A year later, he won the boyfriend.

Hiram and Juan performed a symbolic marriage witnessed by a few friends. At the time, Juan was a resident doctor and Hiram worked at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. One day, they decided to form a family with their own kids. They searched for a donor while saved money to pay for surrogacy and all fertilization treatment. They found the young Shelby Corcoran, only 20 years old, in a catalog of a clinic and contacted her. Shelby agreed to donate her eggs and conceive for the money that would let her try her luck on Broadway. Well, you know the story.

Since then, we form a nice unconventional family. We have highs and low as everybody else, but we loved each other so much that we could overcome any crisis. But it was broken near Rachel's and mine 17th anniversary.

That day began like any other: bathroom, fight with Rachel, sleepy. At breakfast, papi ate scrambled eggs, I filled my belly of cereal with berries while Rachel and daddy ate that rabbit food they loved. As we had our breakfast, we talked about the day's schedule. Rachel and I had our last school week before the holiday's break. Papa would just go back to the hospital in the early morning. Dad had mentioned that he would visit a farm for the consulting work he was doing for extra money. I and my sister said goodbye to our parents with a routine peck on their lips.

Hiram Berry, daddy, said goodbye to his husband, promising get home shortly after lunch. He hitched a ride with the owner of the farm he would visit. They left the city limits and took the road. Apparently the truck blew a tire on a slippery road. The car flipped several times and fell on a small bluff.

While paramedics communicated the nearest hospital (at Lima), papi was warned about the accident. He decided to run over there and do something. He couldn't try to save daddy by ethical issues, but he chose to try to save the farmer instead to simply wait in the hall doing nothing. The two arrived at the hospital almost together. Dad had several injuries and internal bleeding. He was on an operating table while papi took care of the other man in the next room. Dad was fighting for his life on the operate table, meanwhile a nurse called to school.

Rachel fainted once she heard the news. I just stay stand because I had to support to my sister, being the strong one. I bent down beside her, straightened her body and lifted her legs as papi taught. Rachel quickly returned to consciousness, but I forced her to stay a few minutes lying, even with some curious suckers down the hall. Ms. Pillsbury asked for help and returned with Sue Sylvester on her side.

"We need to take Rachel to the infirmary." Ms. Pillsbury was distressed.

"No!" I said firmly. "We are going to the hospital to see my father."

"But Rachel can't…"

"She can do it." I challenged, despite being on the verge of collapse. "It's our father, coach."

"S, you need to see what is best for your sister and you right now." Sylvester insisted with an unusual concerned voice.

"I know what's best for my family. Hospital. Now." I yelled.

I helped my sister to get up. Rachel was confused, but I couldn't stop to explain things. I passed her arm around my shoulders and held firmly by the waist. We walked slowly to the parking lot and Ms. Pillsbury gave us a ride. I had to thank her, because wouldn't be able to drive. My sense was that the path was too long, but we got there.

Once the receptionist saw us, she asked to enter the private surgical center's waiting room. There was a procedure to send the relatives to the place in question, but we had the privilege of being daughters of the chief surgeon, so we just jump some bureaucracies.

The room was nothing special. There was a TV, couches, a desk with magazines from three years ago, a water filter, a picture on the wall and a dumpster. I made Rachel sat beside me on the couch. She was feeling nausea and dizziness. I stayed the whole time with an arm around her and sometimes forced her to strut her head against my shoulder. The farmer's family arrived and I didn't know if I should be solidarity with them or just hate the guy who was at the wheels. Deep down, I knew the accident was just a fatality.

Time seemed parked. The minutes not spent, the hours seemed like days. But I stood there patiently until a resident doctor came. I looked at him and held my breath. I prayed for him to bring good news.

"We managed to stop the internal bleeding and stabilize him..." The doctor said and I did as much effort to fish the context of information. It was so difficult to concentrate. "Dr. Collins is in the room starting the procedures to end the surgery..." And he looked at the Pillsbury. "Mr. Berry needs blood donors. It's a shame our stocks is low."

"I'll donate!" I said immediately

"I don't think you have enough weight." The doctor warned as he glanced at my sister. "Yet, as I recorded well, I think your bloody type is B+, and we need O+ right know."

"My blood type is O+" Ms. Pillsbury volunteered. "I can donate."

"Thank you!" I whispered.

"What about you, Rachel? You don't look well." The doctor put his hand on my sister's face.

"She fainted before we got here." I said.

"I will ask to put you in the infirmary. You need to take a serum with a medicine to relieve this discomfort."

"No!" She replied firmly, which surprised me. "You bring the serum and the medicines that I need... but I'll stay here."

"Nonsense. We will keep you informed here or there."

"Ray..."

"Okay, all right."

Ms. Pillsbury reported that there were some people waiting for news on the waiting room, and our friends were aware of the situation. I didn't want our friends there. I picked up the phone and called Mr. Schue. I thanked their concern, but I didn't want to deal with anybody's pity in the hospital. I remember what happened with Kurt: we pitying on him and Finn Hudson paying to grab my sister's boobs. No, thank you. We knew later that some daddy's students and coworkers came to donate blood and wait for news, even if we were not willing to see them. It was touching.

"Do you think he'll make it?" Rachel asked.

"Of course." I joked and shook her hand. "Who else will watch sci-fi with me?"

Papi showed up in the infirmary. He was exhausted and devastated. Ms. Pillsbury left us alone and I thanked her for being with us all this time. First papa hugged me, then Rachel.

"Mr. Richards will survive… I fixed him. But your dad… Hiram came..." He paused as if he had to remember the words. Rachel and I began to cry harder. "…in bad shape. Somehow, his safe belt broke and the paramedics found him out of the car. The team managed to stabilize him, and now the machines are doing their job to sustain his life until the doctors can do other surgery he needs. Hiram is fighting, girls. He is fighting hard, I know that. But if he makes it, he won't be able to walk anymore."

My father broke down in front of us. It was heartbreaking and scary at the same time. He was the kind of man that controls his emotions. Yes, I had seen him cry, but discrete tears. I've never seen him so open and desperate. I embrace him, and we cried together. I felt involved in other arm. Rachel had ripped the serum to join us.

…

(Rachel)

Ms. Pillsbury was kind enough to take us home in the afternoon. The first thing we did was take a bath together to save time. The last time Santana and I shared the shower, we were ten. We ran to our bedrooms to put some clothes. My father said that we should stay home, but we wouldn't listen. Santana wear a pair of jeans, shirt and shoes in addition to the winter coat. I also changed for an almost equal outfit. I would have found it an interesting coincidence in a better situation.

"Girls?"

The female voice that called us downstairs was definitely not Ms. Pillsbury. At the stairs we saw the taller woman, black hair, holding a blondie baby in her lap. Shelby and Beth. They were the last people I expected to see in any circumstance. Shelby was living in the suburb of Dayton, which is an hour drive from Lima, still, it was a surprise to see her at our home.

"What..." – Santana was confused.

"Apparently my phone is on the list of your family emergency call. When the nurse said Hiram had an accident, I hit the road with Beth. I spoke with Juan a little, and he sent me with an express order to hold you two here."

"What moral do you have to hold us here?" Santana yelled and I put my hand on her shoulder to show her I was there to prevent more aggressive attitude. "You are a strange. Ms. P is more family than you!"

"It doesn't matter now what happened earlier in the year. I'm here to help your father and I will do it, please you or not. If you don't want to see my face, then go to your room and stay there." Shelby was the scariest HBIC I've ever seen. She turned to Ms. Pillsbury. "Emma, I can't thank you more for all the assistance and support. But the girls are in good hands now and if you don't mind."

"That's fine. I'm glad I could help the girls. Rachel..." She hugged me and kissed me on the top of my head. "I will be available for whatever you need." And she hugged Santana with equal affection before leaving. Then, she return suddenly. "Almost forgot..." she took our phones in her purse and put them on the dining table.

Beth was beautiful. The resemblance she had with Quinn was remarkable. She was in warm cute clothes and look at all directions, curious with the new environment. She soon became restless and Shelby put her on the carpet for a bit. Our mother seized the moment to break the awkward silence.

"I know you don't want to hear this now, but I missed you."

"Thanks Corcoran, but I rather go to the hospital to support my father."

"I'm with Santana!"

"Ok, let's clarify some things here. Firstly, don't call me 'Corcoran'. It's 'mother' or 'Shelby'." She ran a hand through her hair and continued. "You have to be a little rational here: Juan is currently focused all his energy and heart to save Hiram. Then you come to the hospital and he will stay concerned with both and Hiram and other patients. You won't help at all, quite the opposite. The best you can do right now is stay here, eat something and pray."

"But..." Santana tried to argue, but we saw Shelby with the extended finger and a repressor expression.

"Not only I'm the adult here, as also I am your mother and you will listen to me now."

"You're 17 years late." Santana snapped.

"Not now, Santy. Please." I spoke softly in her ear.

Santana sighed and resigned. Shelby relaxed a little when she felt my sister defeated on the brief game of nerves. I took the opportunity to hold her briefly. After all, I was grateful to have Shelby when I most needed. Santana chose to sit on the carpet to play with Beth, ignoring us.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me.

"No... I don't know what to do."

"Keeping your mind busy is good. Let Santana stay with her little sister. It will keep her busy and, apparently, the two got along. Meanwhile, you help me to fix something in the kitchen. I heard that you had to take medicine in your vein. It's sign you need to eat to stay firm to help your father, ok?"

Shelby was right and I hated her for it. I had to strengthen and help my dads. All I did was show where she could find cookware, cutlery and pantry. I couldn't stop thinking about Dad, but paying attention on her cooking in my kitchen (how surreal was this) helped to distract me, to feel less weak. Shelby was as oddly right person in a weird time. She cooked fast. The pasta was delicious, but we could barely eat. We had no stomach.

The house was crowded in the late afternoon. All my glee fellows and Mr. Shue were there, and so abuela, our cousins Julio and Daniele, aunt Maria and uncle Pedro. All this support… and I hated it. I hated seeing Finn or even my relatives. It was claustrophobic, so I ran for the safety of my bedroom. It was nice to be alone in my little world while the chaos was established downstairs. Not long after, Santana joined me bringing Beth in her lap.

"Shelby , Quinn and Puck are talking in the library." She lay down on my bed and put the baby between us. I started playing a bit with Beth. "Brittany kissed me in front of everyone, and god knows how much I needed it, but now aunt Maria is freaking out and Artie is making faces. Mike and Tina fetched our car at school as a favor. Finn tried to come upstairs to see you, but I didn't allow him. Then he said some stupid thing and left. I believe he called me selfish and heartless bitch. Are you sure he knows you are my sister?" I just grunted. I didn't want to see Finn or anybody else, but Santana and my papa. "Aunt Rosa called and she will be here by tomorrow morning. Julio is flirting with Mercedes." Our oldest cousin had a weakness for big girls. But Julio is 24 and Mercedes's 17.

"I didn't miss much then."

"Not at all! I couldn't take it anymore. Everybody was looking at me with pity." Santana turned to my side. "Are you holding okay?"

"I just wish papa come soon with news."

The room was quiet, silent. Beth was just doing adorable baby sounds. At least she made me smile.

"Santy..." I looked at my sister, who was dozing. She looked exhausted.

I returned my attention to my other sister, who drooled over my stuffed animals. She was lovely. It was when someone knocked on my door and then opened it slowly, hesitantly. It was Quinn.

"Hi." She was glued to the door, without taking her eyes off the baby. "I talked to your mother... and she... how are you?"

"It would be strange to say that I don't know?"

"No... this makes sense..." She continued to look at Beth.

"Do you want to hold your daughter?" I asked.

Quinn bit her lip, wiped her tears and then approached with caution. First, she sat on the edge of the bed and watched her daughter rolling aside and beating her little hand on Santana's face, who immediately mumbled the name of the small one. Even though the crisis, just watching the scene thrilled me in a positive way. Quinn leaned on the bed and stroked lightly Beth's legs then all the little body. She laughed and cried.

"Quinn." Santana muttered. "You can hold your daughter."

Quinn didn't comment, seemed to be in a trance as she continued to caress Beth, lost in her world. Then she got up.

"Baby steps." She muttered more to herself and then looked at us as if she had finally noticed our presence for the first time. "Shelby said she allow me to visit her from time to time... on special dates such as birthday or Christmas."

"Good for you, Quinn." Santana was sincere.

"You shouldn't make the same mistake Shelby and our dads did to us." I completed.

"I know." Once again she wiped the tears on her face and laughed when Beth rolled again onto Santana, who took the baby and raised her. Beth grinned and wiggled her little arms and legs. Santana put her carefully back to bed and then sat.

"Are you sure..."

"No. If I hold her now... I will run away with her..."

"I understand." Santana and Quinn exchanged knowing glances.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your father. I went to the hospital to donate blood and I'm praying for his recover."

"Thank you." Santana and I answered at the same time.

"I'll leave you resting." She walked toward the door. "If you need anything... I don't have much to offer, and I know that our relationship was never the best... with neither... but I want you to know that you can count on me. I really care of both of you. More than you know."

Quinn nodded and left my room.

"That was different!" I commented but Santana ignored me, lost in her own thoughts.

A few minutes later, Shelby entered my room and she was less hesitant and formal than our friend. She informed that most people were gone, leaving only abuela. Shelby would spend the night with us, but she needed going out to buy some things like toothbrush.

Santana and I went downstairs to stay with abuela. That old Chilean woman was so special that just being close to her, I calmed down.

"De cualquier manera, Dios sólo se reserva lo mejor. Confia en Dios, mi niña."

Santana and I were leaning against abuela, benefiting from the love of our grandmother. Santana ended up sleeping in her lap until my father arrived. He went straight to the library, where he sat in his favorite chair. We followed him, eager for any information.

"Hiram... lo siento tanto mi hijas." We started crying again. "I did everything I could and so as the team. I swear to God I did... But his brain is dead. He won't come back to us."

Hiram Joel Berry died young, at age 45, on December 12, 2011. He left two daughters and a husband.

I'm gonna miss my dad so much...