A/N: Hi everyone! Are you excited for tonight? I know I am. Busy grad school week, so sorry for the delay. Again, I kind of had to stretch to marry Shane's story with Jackson and April's, so I tried something a little different. Think of it as this story's version of the all guys episode...I hope it works for you all. Happy Grey's day, and please do let me know what you think. Thank you very much for reading!

"I'm not going down without a fight!"

"I'm not-"

"Save it!"

Shane frowned deeply as he stormed away from Heather's table in Joe's bar. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. He was always a bit competitive when it came to the things he cared about. He was always a fierce protector of his dreams. Shane had to be. Guys who grew up in his neighborhood were more likely to end up in jail than they were on a college campus. So Shane had learned to push himself hard, and to keep his eyes on the prize. From a very young age, he'd wanted to become a surgeon, and he'd never lost sight of that goal.

Every scholarship, fellowship, AP class, laboratory internship and crappy summer job that had gotten Shane into college and through medical school was a hard fought battle, where he bested all of his competition.

But Heather had never felt like his competition before. And for some reason the fact that Shane now felt like Brooks, of all people was his main competition, made him feel ultra defensive. He really had no idea why it bothered him so much. If it had been Stephanie or Jo, or even Leah, Shane was pretty sure he wouldn't feel as angry about the whole thing.

Because Brooks was...Brooks his friend, but he knew she was a little odd. A bit of a space cadet. She always seemed to be perpetually zooming in and out between reality and her own little world, but never staying here nor there. Never letting what anyone said about her get her down. Shane admired that actually. He'd always just figured she was less motivated than the rest. Maybe even a little less capable. Or so she'd seemed to be. Until Heather had started cutting in on Shane's turf. Neuro and Dr. Shepherd. The dream and the teacher who would be the ticket to that dream.

Heather had never seemed like a threat. At all. He'd discounted her and written her off to be destined to do some less complex, less renown branch of surgery, like ortho, or general, or trauma. That was not to say that Shane really thought that the surgeon's he knew who specialized in these areas were less capable per say than those who did brain surgery or heart surgery, or whatever. Just less famous.

Dr. Torres wasn't someone he'd worked with very closely yet, but he'd read a number of her papers and seen her work magic with metal and rods. Dr. Bailey was both terrifying and brilliant. And his mentor, Dr. Kepner could handle all the most gruesome and life threatening traumas better than anyone he'd ever seen. They all worked miracles.

But the fact of the matter was that the kind of specialties that a surgeon got money for, precognition over, awards from was different than those. The number of general surgeons that won Harper Avery awards in comparison to cardio surgeons who did was 10 to 1. And Shane knew it was prideful, and he knew Big Mama Ross would pull him by the ears and tell him so, but he'd always wanted to be known. To have the perfect score sheet. Valedictorian three times over. Harper Avery award winner. He wanted that.

To Shane it felt like loosing anytime in neuro was a threat to that and he kind of wanted to kick himself for getting blindsided by the least expected competition he could imagine. Heather Brooks. And her weird comments. Freakish coordination ability. And her stupid stupid haircut.

Still fuming, Shane made his way to the nearby bar, and rapped his fist against the smooth hard surface. Joe was busy, but he was too agitated to be polite.

Pounding the table bar harder he demanded, "Come on! Hurry up."

Joe, regarded him with an icy glare, briefly looking up from the 6 drinks he was already mixing. The reproach in the gaze was enough to make some of Shane's ire wilt, and he hung his head. He was supposed to have manners.

"Jesus, Ross," Dr. Karev said from around the corner of the bar after taking a long drink from his glass. "Joe doesn't even respond to us and we've known him for 6 freakin' years. Beating the hell out of his bar isn't gonna help you."

At Karev's side, Jackson Avery snickered. Shane's anger flared up once more and he snapped, "I know!"

The two attendings exchanged a glance with each other and seemed to be fighting back laughter. Shane took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Neither man was his favorite person, because of their various connections to the people who Shane had once considered his best friends here. He supposed they were still his best friends, in a way, but sadly the primary reason he hadn't seen as much of Jo and particularly Steph lately was because of their relationships (romantic and otherwise) with the men next to him.

"Leave me alone," Shane mumbled.

Alex chuckled again, clearly more than one drink in for the evening, because Shane was pretty sure that otherwise the attending wouldn't be speaking with him at all.

"What's got you all butt hurt, dude? You're living the life...intern year. Someday you'll look back at your glory days."

"You call scut duty and 48 hour shifts changing bed pans your glory days, Karev?" Jackson countered, also apparently a few drinks into his evening at the bar.

"Well, maybe not professionally, " Alex boasted. "But chickwise, my intern year I was in my prime."

"Man," Avery added sarcastically. "So, your intern year was pretty short, huh, Karev? I'm guessing 2, maybe 3 weeks?"

"Shut up!" Dr. Karev laughed, returning his attention to Shane as he tried to slink away. "Hold on. Maybe Dopey here's got chick problems..."

Shane froze and swallowed uncomfortably. He didn't really think that either surgical fellow actually gave a damn about what he was actually feeling. They were either bored or drunk or unwilling to think about their own crap. He knew that they'd had issues. In the few moments Shane did get to hang out with his two roommates, the daily behavior patterns of both Alex Karev and Jackson Avery were hot topics of conversation.

Ever since Jo had started dating, 'Chest Peckwell' (whose real name was Jason Myers, and if Wilson was really dating him, Shane didn't get why didn't she just call him that when they talked), she'd complained that Dr. Karev was harder on her, and awkward about things. he was always knocking on doors and interrupting...moments. Shane held his tongue and refrained from pointing out that it was well within any attending's prerogative to do just that, since after all, they were professionals working in a hospital, a place where things like that shouldn't be happening at all.

And where Jo was busy complaining about how often her on call room rendez-vous were getting interrupted, Stephanie was whining about how she hardly had the chance to see Avery at all since his recent elevation (Shane didn't think you could call it a promotion) to chairman of the hospital board. Shane was pretty jazzed about the lack of action Steph was getting. It weirded him out to see the two slinking out of on calls rooms after romps. Plus, as far as Shane was concerned, it was doubly inappropriate for someone of Avery's stature and position in the hospital to be carrying on with an intern. It made them both look bad. Not that Stephanie saw it that way...

Plus, of course, there was the whole added layer of Kepner. Shane's mentor. Someone who he knew to be a big part of Jackson Avery's life, even if the man didn't seem to have all his feelings for her sorted. Shane was certain they loved each other and just simply didn't know that the other person felt the same way. Which was dumb and ridiculous because really something that simple ought to be solvable with a single conversation if one of them would just figure it out and get the courage to say what they wanted.

Then again, from what Shane himself had observed and heard through the grapevine, things between his mentor and her former best friends had been getting a little better. The strain and the distance in their friendship was visibly still there, but somehow, it seemed to be less acute. They were friendly again. Supportive even. Which was good, because Shane figured his mentor needed all the friendly support she could get.

All her patients seemed to be dying lately.

Perhaps is was a sting of bad luck or something, but Shane knew it was true. Two more since her ALS friend. And from what he'd heard today, the latest one had left a grieving husband and newborn behind. Shane knew that even the hardest of hardcore surgeons would have a difficult time staying detached in a situation like that, and April was not that closed off. She cared deeply for everyone she treated. Maybe too deeply.

"I'm not having girl problems," Shane said, knowing the man didn't really care about his problems.

Chugging down more of his beer, Alex snorted, "Look at you. You might not know it, but you've got 'em."

"No!" Shane snapped indignantly. "I just...Shepherd's going to start rotating his intern service now and I really think it's a bad call. I mean, he's using Brooks tomorrow on a case that I have worked on and prepped for for weeks...she doesn't even specialize in neuro. All she can do is catch stuff."

Avery chuckled and Karev guffawed, "Big whoop! This is residency, it's cut throat; deal with it. You're a freaking intern. It's not like any of you have a god damn specialty!"

Shane rolled his eyes, "I know it's cut throat."

As hard as he'd fought to get this position? Hell yes, he knew things were cut throat. And whatever people officially said about waiting to declare a specialty, Shane knew that most interns had areas in their mind where they wanted to go. That's just the way things were. Dr. Kepner had often told him that most interns don't end up working in the field they think they will. She herself had started with an interest in neuro. And, while he saw his mentor's point, Shane still wanted his dream of being a neurology surgeon to come true.

"The reason any of this crap probably bothers you so much is because you dig her," Karev continued. Jackson only swallowed and stared off ahead from the bar, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"I do not-" Shane stopped short.

He didn't. Right? He wasn't even thinking about stuff like that right now, and even if he was, Shane thought he liked Steph. He did. But he supposed he could say that Heather was kind of cute, hair and all, and he certainly admired her personality and attitude (when he wasn't feeling angry or threatened)...what if he did like her a bit?

Her and Stephanie? Could he like them both? Oh, god. This was exactly the reason why Shane stayed away from romance in the hospital and during this early part of his career. April, his own mentor, had gotten caught up in a whirlwind of something and sex at a critical moment in her career. And it contributed to her failing her boards. Shane still had intern exams, rotations, and countless other things ahead of him. He couldn't risk failing by exploring the feelings for either Heather or Stephanie, no matter how he felt.

"No shame in it," Dr. Karev smirked. "Brooks is a cool enough chick. You could do worse."

Shane wrinkled nose knowing exactly how Alex had come by his knowledge of Heather's personality. He didn't want to let one his thoughts, so his shrugged and shook his head, casting around for a way to explain his logic and motivation.

Finally he mumbled,"I know we don't have specialties yet. But in the end we will all get to pick on. And I just know neuro is what I want. It's what I have always wanted."

"You can't always get what you want," Avery cut in, voice faltering slightly as he lifted his drink to his lips and returning from his drifting thoughts.

Karev pursed his lips, "Ain't that the truth."

Jackson frowned, and swallowed another drink before slamming his now empty glass on the bar and standing up. He turned to Shane and shrugged, "Sometimes what you think you want isn't really what you want at all. And even when you figure that out, there is still no guarantee that you can have it."

Shane looked away, getting the distinct impression that Dr. Avery wasn't talking about his passionate interest in neuro surgery. Maybe, just maybe, Jackson had finally pulled his head out of the sand and woken up to what was glaringly obvious to the rest of the staff at Grey Sloan Memorial. That he and April Kepner, no matter how unlikely or unsuited, loved each other deeply. Alex sniffed and watched as the plastic surgeon moved away from them, slipping through the dark bar doorway. Eyeing Dr. Karev closely, Shane also sensed that he was not alone in realizing the potential direction of the plastic surgeon's thoughts.

Desperately curious to worm out just what Alex knew, Shane fumbled, "He's...in a mood."

"None of your freakin' business. Or mine."

"But-"

Karev shrugged and shook his head, signalling for another drink, "Leave it alone, dude. Just get a freaking drink."

Slumping, Shane realized that Alex probably was nowhere near drunk enough or gossipy enough to tell him anything about the thus far ill fated and tumultuous relationship of Jackson Avery and April Kepner. It was also painfully clear from the tone of the older man's voice that his patience and bored interest in Shane was wearing thin. He supposed he should be glad the peds fellow was continuing to allow him to sit nearby.

So, Shane swallowed and asked Joe for a strawberry daiquiri.

"Seriously?" Alex scowled. "Get a freakin' IPA. That's what this place is known for. Not chick drinks."

He set his shoulders and lifted his chin defiantly, "I like it."

"Whatever."

That was the last word Karev spoke to Shane. The night was a total bust.