Disclaimer: I don't own ER. As I said in the previous chapter I was just going to post the epilogue and this would be finished, but then the reviews said it was nice and fluffy, and I couldn't have that, so this is a bit angsty, the next bit is very angsty, and the epilogue, well you'll have to wait and see! Reviews please.

Angry, frustrated, ready to blame. Feelings he knew he should have.

The pain that could have been saved if she'd only told him.

But he couldn't feel any of that.

Shock was all he felt.

Shocked. Stunned. Amazed.

His girl was here with him.

She was carrying his baby.

It was all he'd wanted for months.

For now he was revelling in it.

Confrontation, anger, guilt. They were for another time. They'd be addressed at some point; he was sure, but not now.

For now she was in his arms.

What more could he want?

They could make this work.

Guilt, blame. Feelings she knew she should have.

The words she should have said, the pain she could have saved.

But she couldn't feel any of that.

Safe was all she could feel.

Safe, relieved, loved.

She was with him once more.

She was carrying his baby.

It was all she'd ever wanted.

And she was revelling in it.

Angry words, tears, accusations. They wouldn't disappear over night, she was sure of that.

For now she was in his arms.

What more could she want?

They could make this work.

Pain, exhaustion etched across her face. But Abby knew she wouldn't say anything. What was her pain compared to his? What was her suffering compared to his?

'We should make a move'

Surprise, shock, fear. Arms tightening, holding on, preventing her from leaving.

'No'

'What?'

'Sweetie, you're exhausted, it's been a long day, you need to rest'

Relenting, agreeing.

A glance over his shoulder at his mother. A questioning look, a nod in agreement 'You could stay here'

A tentative suggestion. The fear of losing what he'd found so soon tightening around his heart, anything to keep her here.

'She needs to sleep'

Turning to face Neela, taking in her sunken, weary eyes, the paleness of her skin, seeing them properly for the first time. A hand rising to stroke her cheek, a feather light kiss on her forehead 'Why don't you lie down in my room?'

Eyes closed, murmuring 'thank you'

'How is she now?' Deep, serious eyes meeting hers.

'She's resting; hopefully she'll get some sleep'

A shake of the head 'I meant the last few weeks since she woke up'

'Not great, you can see that she's really weak. The pregnancy's taking everything she has, she's still in a lot of pain and she obviously can't take anything for it'

Guilt eating into him, visible on his face.

'Don't. Don't blame yourself. The baby and you are what she's been fighting for, you both are her reason for living'

'But if it wasn't for the baby she'd be able to have treatment for the pain'

Eyes briefly closing, opening, flitting around the room, not willing to meet his, then defeat, acceptance, call it what you want.

'I doubt she'd be alive if it wasn't for the baby'

Shock, incomprehension.

'When they found her she was curled up, she was trying to protect the baby, which probably saved her from even worse injuries. And as' a deep breath 'when she woke, the first movement she made was to touch her stomach; I've a feeling she was checking that she hadn't lost the baby. She wasn't really well enough to travel, but she didn't want you to believe that she'd abandoned you again. You two are what she's fighting for'

Slow, salty tears on his face.

'We'll get her through this, we'll get both of you through this, I promise'

The phone rings. His mother answers.

'It's for you, it's Katey'

Katey. Yesterday that meant friendship, comfort, news. Now it meant lies, untruths, deceiving. Where once was friendship, now all he felt was hate.

'Hey' brusque, unfeeling, cold.

'Bad day?' You don't so good, I can phone back if you want'

'You could say that. I've got visitors'

Laughter 'You should ask them to leave if they're putting you in this kind of mood'

'It's not them. They've told me some stuff; it appears you've been lying to me'

Stunned silence.

'I don't know what you're talking about' more lying.

'If that's the way you're going to play it, how's work?'

'Mmm, yeah, okay, spending a fair bit of time in the ER this week. Frank's still being a nuisance, and I haven't seen Abby for a few days, nothing else really'

'Yeah? Must be on holiday, how's Neela?'

The name never mentioned between them. The question that was never asked.

'What? Oh she's okay I guess, haven't seen much of her. Why do you ask?'

'Bullshit Katey. Neela and Abby are here. I've seen her; she's sleeping in my bed. I know you've sat by her bedside for the last few months, what I don't know is why you didn't tell me?'

More silence.

'She's there?'

'Yes, why didn't you tell me? You know how I feel about her'

'I thought you'd forgotten about her' Tentative, unsure, grasping at straws.

'That's crap and you know it. Fucking hell Katey, you did this on purpose; you knew how I felt and you deliberately kept it from me. What was it, if you couldn't have me, no one could?'

A bitter laugh 'Of course that's it, I'm desperate to be saddled with a cripple'

Again stunned silence.

Quiet, tension ridden words 'That's how it is then? I thought you were a friend, but obviously I've just been your feel good project, see if you can cheer Ray up, but no need to be honest with him, he's just a cripple. I doubt you'd have told me even if she'd died'

'Ray! I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. It just cam out, I don't think that. Of course I would have told you…'

'Save it Katey, whatever friendship we had you blew it when you didn't tell me about Neela'

Sudden shift from elation to despair. Katey's cruel words cutting deep. Who wants to be saddled with a cripple? Why would Neela want him?

A noise from his room, wailing rising to screaming.

Abby stood, sighing 'I hoped that being here would have stopped them'

Stirred from his self pity 'What? What's wrong?'

'She keeps having these nightmares, every time she sleeps she wakes up screaming. None of them are the same, but the conclusion is, she loses you and the baby, and that's when she starts crying out'

'I'll go'

'You sure?'

'Yeah'

Walking in. Seeing her twisting, turning in his bed, reaching out. Tear saturated face, hair strewn about. Sitting tentatively at her side. One hand on her shoulder. One gently brushing her hair from her face. Whispering tender reassuring words. Settling down. Calming. Wakening. Looking around. Frantically searching.

'Hey, it's okay, it was just a dream' gentle, calm, loving.

'But' not quite stilling.

'Just a dream, I promise'

'It was so real. You were in an accident, you… you died, you left me, I never got to tell you that I love you' fear returning, panic ensuing.

'It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere' pulling her into his arms, holding her close 'I'll be here for as long as you want me'

Pulling away 'What do you mean? I love you; I don't want you to go anywhere'

'But what about…?' Gesturing downwards 'Why would you want me like this?'

Her turn to reassure. Meeting his eyes 'Hey, I love you, I want you, all of you, no matter what'

'But I'm a cripple'

Surprise. A firm shake of the head.

'No, you're not, you were in an accident, you lost your legs, that doesn't make you a cripple, it doesn't make me love you any less'

Tears mingling again.

'Really?'

'Really, I can't promise that we're going to be together forever, if I have any say in it we will, that's what I want, you're who I want'

Lips meeting, gentle, loving kiss.

Pulling back 'You should rest, try to get some sleep'

'Lie down with me'

Lying down, pulling her close, her head on his chest, his hand on her stomach, eyes closing, sleep enveloping.