Disclaimer: All rights go to JK Rowling. Anything you don't recognize is mine.
Updated as of 4/11/2019.
Chapter Ten
The Clockwork Locket
The Friday before the Hogsmeade trip was met with grumbles and complaints when students awoke to find themselves finally embracing the oncoming winter. The grounds had frozen over sometime in the night, though no snow had fallen, and the sky was a chilly grey that matched the surface of the Black Lake.
Cassie, in particular, was none too thrilled by the colder weather. Winter had always been her least favorite season ever since she could remember; the lack of colors and the perpetual cold put her off from it, though she would concede the points of Christmas and the brief holiday away from school. However, thinking about going home over the break was too stressful, so it was with a heavy resign that she forced herself to get out of her warm bed and face the day.
"Has anyone seen my scarf?" Marlene whined, shoving aside the pile of clothes she'd been looking through and flopping on her bed, sighing. "I can't find it anywhere."
"Is it the one you're lying on?" Lily asked. She pointed to the blonde girl's bed and Marlene shifted so the red-and-gold striped scarf was revealed underneath her.
"What would I do without you, Lils?" she said gratefully. Lily just smiled.
"Drive yourself insane because you'd have no one to talk about your crushes with?" she suggested. Marlene scoffed.
"Don't be silly," she said. "Cassie and Alice would listen to my boy talk, right?"
She turned to the other two girls, beaming, and they both responded "No" in unison.
Marlene huffed. "C'mon, it's not that bad."
"Mar, you're on to a new bloke every week," Alice said, rolling her eyes, but her voice was playful. "It's a little hard to keep up with your 'boy talk.'"
She frowned. "That's not true."
"Not this year, so far," Lily chimed in, tossing the other girls a secretive smile. "She's only been able to talk about one."
Marlene flushed. "Lily!"
"What?" Alice squawked, upending part of her trunk's contents in her surprise as she stared at the furiously blushing Marlene. "Who is it?"
Before she had a chance to reply, Lily gasped and jabbed an accusing finger at Alice. "What is that?"
They all turned to see her staring at something that had fallen out of Alice's trunk. Cassie blanched. The prize Alice had won from the Marauders was displayed proudly atop a pile of her socks – a bundle of Honeydukes sweets with a note pinned to it in familiar bright green ink: Congratulations on winning your task! Please enjoy a complimentary package of Honeydukes' finest to celebrate your victory (and don't forget to flaunt your newfound flair for rule-breaking to one Frank Longbottom). Signed, James P., Sirius B., Remus L., and Peter P.
Lily looked as if she'd swallowed a lemon as Alice began to splutter.
"I didn't – it isn't – Cassie did it, too!" she cried.
Cassie turned on her, affronted. "Way to throw me to the wolves!" But Alice gave her a look that said If I'm going down, you're coming with me.
Lily frowned, her pretty, heart-shaped features creasing as she looked between the two girls and the sweets. "You actually played that silly game Potter and his idiot friends came up with?"
"They're not all idiots," Cassie protested, thinking of Remus. She rolled her eyes when Lily gave her an unimpressed look. "Okay, yeah, maybe they are sometimes. But it was just a bit of fun, Lily. You're not going to throw us in detention just because we participated, are you?"
Lily sighed, rubbing her forehead, and Cassie sensed she was about to start channeling her inner prefect.
"I understand it's just a game," she said. "But think of what would've happened had you been caught by Filch! Alice, you're not a troublemaker. And Cassie, what you did was a huge risk if you're worried about your parents finding out. I'm not going to give you detentions, but I think you two should be a bit more careful, especially when those Marauders are involved."
Her face soured at this last part. The two girls nodded, feeling as if Professor McGonagall had given them a stern talking-to, though this rant was a lot shorter and a lot quieter than what their Head of House would've said.
"Love you both," Lily said gently, though her emerald eyes flashed them a last warning as she grabbed her bag. "We'll see you down at breakfast."
Cassie and Alice mumbled good-byes as she and Marlene departed the dormitory. Alice exhaled a large breath when the door closed behind them.
"She's scarier than my mother, that one," she said, grudgingly hiding her prize in her trunk again. Cassie nodded, pulling on her robes and fiddling with the silver fastenings as she stared into space, thinking.
She couldn't help but feel just a bit frustrated at the situation. Lily's disappointment bothered her, but she couldn't exactly explain why. She wondered if it had anything to do with the Marauders and their newfound alliance, but she shied away from that thought, still unsure of how she felt about it.
"You know, I've been meaning to ask you…" Alice said. Cassie looked to her, pulled out of her musings. "But what happened that night after I left? Did Filch catch you?"
Cassie snorted, though she averted her eyes. "If Filch had caught me, I would have a month's detentions under my belt," she pointed out.
Alice looked dubious. "I was just wondering," she said hastily. "You just took a really long time getting back, is all."
Cassie gave a noncommittal shrug. "I had to take a bunch of back ways to avoid Filch. It took a bit longer than I expected, but it worked, right?"
"Right." Alice still looked suspicious, but she didn't press the matter further. "Want me to wait for you?"
"You go ahead," she said, waving a hand. "I still have to do some things."
Alice nodded and left without another word. Cassie sighed, heading into the washroom to finish getting ready.
She let her mind wander as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Her thoughts turned in the unbidden direction of the Hogsmeade trip tomorrow and the subsequent meeting with her brother. Even just thinking about it made her stomach turn, and when she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she thought her face was the tiniest tinge of green. She was very tempted to call the whole thing off or not even bother showing up, but the temptation of talking some sense into her brother was enough to keep her on the right track. And maybe – though she would deny it to anyone who asked – she still had some hope that her brother could be swayed back to the right side, that he wasn't so far gone yet.
Raking her hair out of her face, she retrieved her bag from the floor next to her bed and headed to breakfast, determined not to stress about it until tomorrow and just get through that day.
She emerged from the girls' staircase just as Remus emerged from the boys'. They both started in surprise before making their way towards each other across the common room.
"Morning, Cassie," he said, trying for a smile, though it came out wan and bleak. She peered at him closely and saw that he wasn't looking very well at all; his cheekbones stood out harshly against his pale and clammy skin, and his eyes were bruised with dark shadows underneath, appearing duller and more muted than normal.
"Hey, Remus," she returned, frowning. "You're looking a bit peaky this morning. Are you feeling well?"
He chuckled, though it sounded as if it pained him. "No, I feel like shit actually," he said. She noticed then that the scars on his face – which she could usually gloss over as they were so faint – stood out whiter than they had before. She put a hand to his forehead.
"Remus, you're blazing," she said. He winced, pulling away from her.
"Just a stomach bug," he mumbled, avoiding her concerned gaze. "It'll pass in a day or so."
"You should see Madam Pomfrey," she said. Remus only nodded.
"I'll probably go later, if it gets any worse," he said, scratching his cheek. She nodded, satisfied, though she made a mental note to not catch what he had.
"Good." She gestured to the staircase. "Where are your mates?"
"Still getting ready," he said. "They spend ages making themselves seem 'cool' – you know, that whole 'trying-not-to-look-put-together-but-not-like-a-slob' thing?"
Cassie snorted. "Merlin, they're worse than Mar." She shook her head. "How long does that take?"
"More than you'd think." He smirked when she made a horrified face. "So I'd suggest we go down now before we miss breakfast entirely."
"Agreed," she said before biting her lip. "I was, um, hoping we could talk, as well."
He looked to her curiously as he led the way out of the common room. "What about?"
They climbed through the portrait hole and walked down the seventh-floor corridor together while Cassie gathered her thoughts, Remus waiting patiently beside her. She wasn't immune to the stares and whispers that were beginning to crop up as she walked next to a known Marauder, but she did her best to ignore them, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously as she spoke.
"I guess I'm just really anxious about tomorrow," she admitted. "I know I was the one who agreed to meet him, but Remus…what if something happened since I last saw Will? What if he's not the same person who left in June and he's…darker? What am I supposed to do then?"
"Cassie," he said softly. "I don't know what it's like to be in your position, and I'm not going to pretend like I do, but I think the best thing you can do about tomorrow is to remember that despite everything, he's still your brother. And from the way you talk about him I assume the both of you were very close, and that kind of bond doesn't go away overnight. You said it yourself the other day: you need to give him a chance. And I believe that this is it. Your chance. You should take it, whatever it comes out to be."
Cassie stared at him for so long he began to look slightly uncomfortable. "Er, Cassie?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Don't talk. I'm trying to determine if you're wise from being an immortal or if you just read those really sappy Muggle novels."
He snorted. "No to either option, I'm afraid."
"Then what species are you?" she pressed. He faltered slightly in his steps at this and looked whiter, but she dismissed it as his stomach bug as she waited for an answer.
"You know, I could just be a sensitive soul," he said, making puppy-dog eyes at her as he launched into a monologue. "How my heart yearns to comfort when I see a lonely young maiden to impart my wisdom upon, and thus woo her to accept my hand in marriage—"
"All right, all right, enough!" she said, laughing. "I'll leave it alone. You're a sensitive soul, Remus, I get it."
He chuckled, slinging an arm around her shoulders as if it were second nature – and it might've been, she realized as she stiffened at the unexpected touch. How many times had she seen the Marauders walk down the corridors and out on the grounds exactly like this? Arm in arm, laughing at something only they knew, like it was just them four living in a world they were the rulers of?
She wanted to shrink away – no, she needed to if she were to have any chance of regaining her invisibility – but they were already walking into the Great Hall, and she sensed that Remus may be holding on to her for another reason as a flicker of pain marred his mirthful features for a moment before it was gone.
As they made their way to the Gryffindor table, Remus still with an arm around her shoulders, she was aware of the looks cast in her direction. And though she couldn't hear specifics, she could guess well enough what the sudden buzz of whispers and murmurs were aimed at.
Fighting to keep the red from her face, she ducked her head, letting her hair fall forward before she felt a tug on one of her locks.
"Why do you do that?" Remus asked, gazing down at her as his fingers played absentmindedly with her hair.
She pretended not to understand. "Do what?"
"Try not to be seen," he said. "You act as if you try hard enough, then no one will notice you."
This time she couldn't help her face flushing. "I've always done that," she admitted, self-conscious under the scrutiny of his gaze. "I've…never been involved much – in school, or friends outside of Lily, Marlene, and Alice – anything really. And last year, when news spread about my brother… I tried so hard to become invisible. To escape all the stares and rumors and people asking questions I couldn't answer. I just wanted to be nobody again."
Her face heated even more at this confession, and she cursed whatever it was that made Remus Lupin so easy to talk to.
"I get that," he said, and she knew he meant it. "But do you now?"
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
He gestured to her. "Do you still want to be invisible?"
She paused, not knowing what to say to that. Not that she would've had time to answer, anyway, for just then Potter decided to make his appearance.
"Oi, d'you mind budging over a bit so those of us who don't walk attached at the hip can get by?"
Cassie and Remus turned to see him strutting up to them with an arrogant swagger to his step, flanked by Black and Pettigrew.
Remus sidestepped out of the way, dragging Cassie with him, and mockingly curtsied. "Terribly sorry, mate. Is this enough room for your obnoxiously fat bottom to get through?"
Cassie choked on a laugh at the look of sheer offense on Potter's face.
"You'll pay for that, Moony," he warned, latching onto Cassie's other arm and pulling the both of them along with her trapped in the middle. "C'mon, Ally Alderfair, let's get some food that can go straight to my voluptuous behind."
He cast Remus a dark look as they all laughed.
"I'm sorry for any offense I caused to you and your arse," Remus said. "I promise it's one of the fittest, perkiest bums I've ever—"
"Cassie, what are you doing?"
They all stopped and turned to see Lily, Marlene, and Alice sitting at the table and staring as if unable to believe what their eyes were seeing. Cassie hastily untangled herself from the limbs of Remus and Potter, attempting to come up with an answer until Potter spoke up before her.
"Evans!" he said brightly, his eyes glittering. "You're looking radiant this morning, as ever. See, we were just inviting Cassie to eat with us this morning – that is, if you don't mind?"
He gave her a faux-innocent look. Lily just looked unimpressed and bewildered, glancing back and forth between Potter and Cassie, who only returned her stare with a grimace.
"Cassie can make decisions for herself," she said finally, while it seemed that Alice and Marlene had been rendered speechless. "If she doesn't mind, then I don't mind."
Her gaze bored into Cassie, and she realized then that Lily was expecting her to refuse their offer and join them, just like every other morning. Perhaps it was because of Lily's disapproving stare, or maybe some leftover residue of rebellion from the scavenger hunt night was still coursing through her, but Cassie felt the sudden desire to change things up a bit.
"I don't mind," she said, meeting Lily's gaze assuredly. "Just for today."
Lily's eyes widened, but returned to their usual size quickly when Cassie gave her a tiny nod.
"Excellent," Potter said, looping his arm through hers again before dragging her away. "See you in class, Evans!"
Lily didn't even deign him with a response, but Potter seemed rather used to it as he forced Cassie to sit down beside him, Pettigrew on his other side and Remus and Black across from them.
She must've looked vaguely helpless, for Remus just shrugged as if to say your choice. She grimaced at him before her gaze flicked to Black, only to find him already looking back at her.
His intense silver gaze brought her back to those first days at school this term when he'd done nothing but stare at her. She attempted to lower her head, but resisted when she remembered Remus's words: "Do you still want to be invisible?"
Taking a deep breath, she gave Black a hesitant smile, holding his gaze until he nodded to her, once. It was a small victory, but a victory, nonetheless.
And she imagined herself, transparent and invisible, slowly beginning to take substance again, piece by piece.
When Cassie entered Defense Against the Dark Arts later that day, the floor was already cleared of desks and cushions were set up around the room again, and she internally groaned when Professor Carlisle began to speak.
"You will continue work with your Shield Charms today," she said stiffly. "Much of your effort was abysmal last class, so I do hope you have been practicing since then."
The students shuffled their feet and murmured at this, the Slytherins smug while most of the Gryffindors exchanged nervous glances. Cassie saw the Marauders standing off to her left, though frowned when she noticed that Remus wasn't with them. She sidled closer as Professor Carlisle continued to speak.
"Is Remus all right?" she whispered to Pettigrew, who was nearest her.
"Stomach bug," he whispered back, not meeting her eyes. "He's in the Hospital Wing."
"I gathered that much," she said. "He looked ghastly this morning. I was asking if he was going to be okay."
Pettigrew looked oddly flushed when he answered her. "He'll be fine by tomorrow. Don't worry about it."
The way he said it made her think that she should worry about it. But before she could say anything more, Professor Carlisle's voice cut in from across the room.
"Five points from Gryffindor, as Miss Alderfair seems incapable of remaining silent while I am speaking," she said. Her cold eyes bored into Cassie as she flushed, not returning any of the stares that had swiveled around to her at Professor Carlisle's words.
Potter snorted from beside her and Pettigrew. "To be fair, Professor, half the class was talking while you were," he pointed out, though his confident smirk wavered a bit when she turned her frosty gaze on him.
"Would you care to make it ten more points, Mr. Potter?" she asked.
He pretended to contemplate her question before shrugging. "No, I think I'm all right for now," he said. "Maybe later."
Professor Carlisle seemed as if she were sucking on a particularly strong lemon as she stared at him, but after a few tense moments, she turned away and continued her lecture.
Cassie exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Potter, someone is going to murder you one day if you keep that sort of thing up."
He shrugged, completely unruffled. "At least I'll go out with a bang, eh?"
She rolled her eyes, choosing not to comment further.
"Pair with the partner you were assigned last time and begin," Professor Carlisle said, retreating back to her desk as students began to mill around the room, looking for their partners.
Cassie found herself staring at Professor Carlisle, miffed at being called out again by the icy witch, and she wondered what the professor had against her. She watched her take out a pile of parchment papers from within her desk and begin to scribble furiously on them, reminded of the day she'd turned in her essay on hags and had seen Carlisle working on that strange diagram, and frowned at the memory.
However, her musings were cut short when someone tapped on her shoulder, and she turned to see Avery.
He gestured to one of the far corners of the room, his black curls following the movement as he said, "There's a space over there for us to practice."
She nodded, extracting her wand from within her robes as she followed him to the corner that was farthest away from Professor Carlisle. She wondered if he'd done it on purpose as he pivoted on his heel to face her.
"You can go first this time," he said, removing his elegant wand with a flourish.
Cassie nodded again and raised her own wand as Avery cast his spell.
"Expelliarmus!"
"Protego!"
A translucent shield formed in front of her, warding off Avery's spell, and she couldn't help her smile when he grudgingly nodded to her shield.
"That was good," he said, sounding mildly impressed. "Have you been practicing?"
She gave him a cheeky smile. "For the past two nights."
His lips curved in a small smile. The motion accentuated his high cheekbones and sharp jawline, and she found herself staring a bit longer than was necessary.
Clearing her throat, she raised her wand once more and said, "Again."
Across the room, Sirius deflected Marlene's spells almost carelessly, already bored with the lesson as he had mastered the spell perfectly in his fourth year.
After another shield popped in front of him to block Marlene's spell, the blonde witch let out a dejected huff and blew a loose curl off her mouth.
"How are you so good at this?" she complained. Sirius smirked.
"Practice, love," he replied. Her lips twitched, though she still looked quite frustrated. "We can switch, if you want."
She gave him a tiny nod. "Yes, please."
He relaxed his defensive stance and slipped into offense as she tensed across him. He prepared to Disarm her before her next sentence caught him off-guard.
"So, really, what is going on with your mates and Cassie?" she asked.
Sirius scowled, wishing she hadn't brought that topic up. He still didn't know what to make of Cassie Alderfair, and having her friends prod him with incessant questions wasn't helping him see past his irritation with his own mates' fascination with her.
He only grunted, giving a small shrug. "Who knows?"
She cocked her head, studying him intently. "Well, you're their best mate," she said. "I thought if anyone knew, it'd be you."
"Well, I haven't the foggiest what's going on in their heads, so I can't help you there." His tone came out harsher than he'd meant, and he shook his head when she frowned. "Never mind. Sorry."
She only continued to frown, her intense gaze making his skin prickle.
"Cassie's a good friend of mine," she said finally. "She's been through a lot and she doesn't trust people easily. But if she's willing to open up to you, then you should embrace that." She gave him a bright smile. "And just know that if you or your mates do anything to hurt her, I will bury your bodies so deep in the Forbidden Forest that nobody will ever find you, okay?"
Sirius blinked. "Er, okay."
His eyes flickered over to where Alderfair was working with Edmond Avery. She smiled when she produced another successful Shield Charm before his eyes slid over to Avery and narrowed.
The Slytherin was watching her with a look he couldn't identify, but he disliked it all the same; it reminded him of a snake waiting to strike at its prey. A strong sense of unease crept over him when Avery approached her, saying something that caused her to flush and look down at her feet, biting her lip to hold back a smile.
He was brought back to his own space when a cushion cuffed him on the back of the head. He cursed and turned to see James walking over to him, giving Marlene a wink that made her roll her eyes and march over to Lily, who was working in a group of three since Remus was gone.
"Can I help you?" he asked, smoothing down his hair where the cushion hit him.
James's grin slipped from his face when he jerked his chin to the corner where Avery and Alderfair were. "Saw you staring, thought I'd come over and find out why." He watched the two interact with furrowed brows. "Blimey, the poor bloke; Bungo the Blind could see he was flirting from a continent away."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "His shabby flirting abilities aside, aren't you curious as to why he's being so friendly with Alderfair?"
James quirked his lips. "She's pretty and she's a girl, Pads. Need I say more?"
"That's not what I meant, and you know it." He scowled at James's knowing smirk. "Avery doesn't do friendly – only mean."
"If you're going to spout more theories on how she's a future Death Eater—"
"I actually wasn't going to," he said, startled when he realized that it was true. His suspicions about Cassie Alderfair were still there, but they were more uncertainties now; this time, his distrust was aimed at the Slytherin. "I'm just saying that Avery has interest in her, and whoever Avery's interested in usually winds up hexed at the bottom of a staircase."
James nodded slowly. "So, you're suggesting we keep an eye on him?"
"That's exactly what I'm suggesting."
"All right, then," he agreed before giving Sirius a sideways glance. "You know, one could say that your newfound interest in our ally is quite curious, too."
Sirius scowled. "Just let Peter know. You know how he gets if he feels like he's being excluded."
"Aye, aye, captain," James said with a salute. "We can let Remus know about Operation Sneaky Snake tonight, too."
Sirius gave him a disgusted look. "'Sneaky Snake?'"
"Another reason to let Remus and Pete know," he said, clapping him on the back. "They're the ones who come up with all the good names."
James went back to work with Alice Fortescue as Professor Carlisle began making rounds to check their progress. Sirius cast Avery one last look, trying to ignore the seed of unease that was slowly taking root in his gut.
The day of the Hogsmeade trip dawned cloudy and cold, and there was a sharp bite of winter in the air that left the students to bundle up in coats and jumpers and scarves as they prepared for a day outside of the castle.
Cassie was still nestled in her bed, watching the other girls get ready for breakfast and acting like she didn't just have the most restless sleep of her life. An overwhelming sense of anxiety had clung to her all night despite her best attempts to shake it, and she wasn't much better off now, either.
"Cass, are you sure you don't want to come to Hogsmeade?" Alice asked for the millionth time as she buttoned her coat.
Cassie tried not to roll her eyes, only giving her a polite smile. "I'm sure," she said. "I just have too much to catch up on. But next time, yeah?"
Alice nibbled on her bottom lip, nodding. "Yeah, all right. We'll see you later, Cass."
"See you." She waved as the three girls departed the dormitory. "And don't forget to bring me back Sugar Quills!"
When their footsteps retreated down the stairs, she got out of bed and started to dress, taking her time. She'd planned this exactly right, so she would miss the mass of students who would leave after breakfast and avoid any awkward confrontations with her friends, but she had to get there before Filch stopped checking names so she would still be allowed to go to the village. Unfortunately, her plan included missing breakfast, but she thought of steak-and-kidney pie from The Three Broomsticks to strengthen her will and motivate her for what was to come.
She dressed simply in jeans and a soft pink jumper before throwing on a leather jacket she'd bought that summer on a whim and tying a loose red scarf around her neck. After sliding on her trainers and doing her best to look presentable (which wasn't much), she stowed her wand in her back pocket and deemed it safe enough to venture out.
First- and second-years were crowding the common room when she came downstairs. A few older students mingled about as well, either staying behind to study or just to hang around after the novelty of Hogsmeade had worn off for them. Luckily, she knew none of them and ducked out of the portrait hole quickly, making her way to the Entrance Hall.
When she reached the marble staircase, she was relieved to find that most everyone was done with breakfast and were now departing from the courtyard, where Filch stood checking off names with a scowl.
She slipped outside and joined the line, hiding behind a group of seventh-year Hufflepuffs that laughed loudly, but she enjoyed the distraction they provided as she listened to their lighthearted banter and tried not to let her mind drift into the dark realm of possibilities that seeing her brother could entail.
Soon, she had reached Filch. She held her breath when the caretaker looked her up and down, praying he wouldn't recognize her from the other night since it had been so dark.
His beady eyes paused on her face, studying her carefully. Sweat began to slick her palms until he grunted, looking down at the roll of parchment in his hands. "Name?"
"Cassiopeia Alderfair," she said in a rush. Filch gave no indication that he knew who she was, only checking her name off the list and jerking his head, allowing her to pass.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, she made her way to the gates, walking briskly along the path that would take her into Hogsmeade. She shoved her hands in her pockets to avoid the brunt of the chill and kept her head down, trying not to let her mounting apprehension get to her.
It got harder the farther she walked, until she felt like she was hyperventilating once she reached a forked path, where one road would lead her into the village and the other branched off to the left, winding its way up a small incline where one would be able to get a glimpse of the distant Shrieking Shack, rumored to be the most haunted building in Britain. She'd been there before with her friends, and though she was never one to be easily scared by ghost stories, the derelict shack always made goosebumps rise on her arms whenever she saw it. Most students never dared to venture out to the overlook though, which was why she had chosen it as the meeting place. At least there she could speak to Will alone without having to worry about eavesdroppers.
"Get a grip, Cassie," she scolded, raking her hair out of her face and taking deep, calming breaths. "You can do this. Don't freak out."
It was a lame pep talk, but it would have to suffice as a distant bell tower chimed that it was eleven o'clock. Steeling herself, she ducked down the path to the Shrieking Shack, unaware that she was being followed by three people who loved nothing more than uncovering secrets, and one that had resigned himself to his friends' curiosity as he was dragged mercilessly along.
Remus awoke that morning, lying in his usual cot in the Hospital Wing and dressed in the soft pajamas Madam Pomfrey always provided him, feeling like he'd been torn apart then stitched back together again.
His whole body was outrageously sore. He felt like his head might burst open as he forced himself to sit up and reached for the glass of water left on his bedside table.
He almost dropped the glass, he was so weak – but before he could, another hand had swooped in and rescued it. He looked around blearily to see James, Sirius, and Peter all sitting beside him.
"Wotcher, mate," James said, grinning and pushing the glass back into Remus's hand.
He took the glass gratefully, drained the entire thing in one gulp, and leaned back against his pillows, sighing.
"Rough night?" Peter asked sympathetically. Remus nodded.
"The ones around Halloween are always the worst," he admitted. "The 'pinnacle of all things supernatural' and all that rubbish."
"Is that really a thing?" Sirius asked, intrigued. Remus just grunted.
"Sure feels like it," he said. They all grinned at that.
"So, does that mean you're not up for Hogsmeade today?" James said.
Remus's grin diminished at the thought. Not for the first time, he felt a strong surge of anger towards his condition, for ruining things like this for him, but he quickly let it go, knowing it wasn't worth it. He'd already come to terms that his condition would hinder him from a great many things, but it was still a hard notion to swallow sometimes.
"No, probably not—" He stopped mid-sentence, suddenly recalling his conversation with Cassie yesterday. Immediately, he tried to sit up, only to groan and flop back as his friends looked at him in concern.
"Moony?" James said, reaching for his arm. "Remus?"
"Ah, good, he's awake!"
Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office and bustled over, waving her wand and summoning three vials of potion that Remus wrinkled his nose at, already familiar with them and their horrid tastes.
"Here you are, dear," the matron said, handing over a small cup filled with a sizzling purple liquid. He downed it rapidly, shuddering, though a newfound sense of energy began to grow within him. She gave him the two other potions – one to regain his strength and one just a dose of Pepper-Up Potion – and when he had finished them all, she smiled gently and began to poke at his body.
"Nothing seems to be broken this time," she remarked cheerfully, though he still winced every time her fingers prodded him. "You should be well enough to leave after breakfast. But I want you to rest, young man," she added. "No gallivanting off to Hogsmeade today."
"We'll take care of him, Poms, don't worry," James said, giving the matron a brilliant smile. She turned her stern gaze on him.
"Please do, Mr. Potter," she said. "I don't want him overexerting himself running around with you three."
The Marauders exchanged a mischievous glance at this, thinking about the irony of her statement. She didn't seem to notice, only casting Remus a fond look before returning to her office.
"I need to go to Hogsmeade," Remus said as soon as she was out of earshot. The other three turned to him gleefully.
"Brilliant," James said eagerly. "I'll nip back to the dorm and grab the cloak—" He stopped when he saw Remus shaking his head. "What?"
"I have to find Cassie," he said. He cursed when he looked at the clock on his bedside table. "Damn, she probably already left—"
"Wait, you're ditching us for Alderfair?" Peter said, looking highly offended. "But we're your mates—"
"It's important," Remus insisted, kicking off his sheets and getting to his feet. He wobbled a bit standing up, but was otherwise fine, the potions Madam Pomfrey had given him already helping immensely as he searched for his clothes.
"What is?" Sirius asked, producing Remus the said pile of clothes. He accepted them with a nod, drawing the curtains closed so he could change and escape the scrutiny of his friends' gazes.
"Nothing you need to worry about," he replied, pulling his worn woolen jumper over his head and buttoning his trousers.
He let out a yelp and jumped back, hitting the bed when James tore the curtains open, Sirius and Peter's heads popping up behind him.
"Bloody hell, Prongs," he said, flushing, and he was glad he'd already been clothed as James gave him a mystified look.
"What's going on with you and Alderfair?" he demanded. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're not seeing her in secret, are you?"
This caused Remus to blush even more. "No, James. It's just important, all right?"
The other boys traded a covert glance. Before he could fathom why, James and Sirius had him pinned to the bed while Peter closed the curtains, casting a Silencing Spell so Madam Pomfrey couldn't interrupt them.
"James, Sirius, gerroff!" he snapped, struggling against their hold, but it was virtually impossible in his weakened state and he soon accepted defeat.
"Not until you tell us what's going on," Sirius said. Remus avoided his intense gaze, opting to stare at the ceiling as he tried to figure out how to get out of this without spilling Cassie's secret.
"Come off it, Remus," James scoffed. "We're your mates; you can tell us anything."
"It's not my secret to share," he said. They looked put out by this until Peter spoke up.
"Cassie's our ally now," he pointed out. "That means that we're on the same side."
Remus shook his head. "It's not that simple, Pete."
"Does it have something to do with Avery?" Sirius pressed.
Remus frowned up at him. "What does Avery have to do with anything?"
"The git's been too friendly with Alderfair as of late," James filled him in. "We're going to be keeping an eye on him."
"Er, right," he said, still confused, but he let it slide for now. "Seriously, will you please let me go now?"
His answer was Peter sitting on his legs. He winced when his bones protested against the weight.
"Jesus, fine," he ground out, using one of the Muggle terms his mother uttered whenever she was exasperated. "I'll tell you if you get off."
They instantly complied. He sat up, grimacing and rubbing the spots where he'd been held down by Sirius and James's hands, wishing they weren't so damned stubborn and nosy.
"This stays between us," he warned. Unnecessarily, really; he knew they'd rather die than break his trust, and the thought made him feel a little less guilty as he continued. "Cassie came to me a few days ago, saying that her brother wrote her a letter."
"That was what had her so freaked out that one day, then?" James interjected. Remus nodded.
"Yeah, that was the reason. She said he'd asked her to meet him in Hogsmeade today – to give her a birthday present or some other rubbish – and she told me that she was going to give him a chance."
"You mean she's meeting him today?" James gaped. "Like, right now?"
Remus nodded again. "I was going to try and find her before she left – ask if she wanted me there or something – but it's too late now. She'd already be gone."
James looked determined. "Well, that settles it. Wait here; I'm going to get the cloak."
"What for?" Peter asked. James gave him a steely look.
"Because Alderfair's a part of our alliance," he said. "And no decent ally is going to let their comrade meet a known Death Eater alone."
"James, I don't think that's a good idea—" Remus started, but he was instantly quelled by the hard look the other boy aimed at him.
"C'mon, lads," James said, marching toward the Hospital Wing doors. "We've got an ally to defend."
Remus knew he was probably going to regret this, and it was this thought that instantly propelled him to his feet to follow James, with Sirius and Peter hurrying behind.
In any other circumstance, Cassie would be freezing her ass off right about then. But this wasn't any normal circumstance, which led to her feeling as if her skin was on fire as she paced along the overlook, periodically tugging at her scarf and pressing her hands to her face in an attempt to cool herself down.
Fifteen minutes had already passed, and her apprehension was slowly turning into irritation as she waited. Patience had never been a virtue of hers, and she wondered if this was fate giving her a second chance; a loophole to get herself out of this mess before it could even begin.
How did she convince herself that this was a good idea? Nothing about this was smart, or even remotely sane. Will was a Death Eater. As hard as it was to accept it, that was the truth. She couldn't keep pretending that it wasn't, that he was still the same person—
"Hello, Cassie."
Cassie stopped dead in her tracks, her heart picking up speed when she heard someone approach from behind her. She slowly turned, feeling as if she were suffocating as she faced her brother.
Seeing him was the biggest shock of all, for he looked exactly as she remembered him on that last day. His dark hair was still thick and sleek; perhaps a bit longer now, but still styled, still meticulous, as it'd always been. His face was still clean-shaven – smooth and unblemished, like the marble sculptures of ancient gods, with the handsome features to match. He was dressed impeccably in expensive robes – black interwoven with silver – but his familiar image was shattered when she saw his eyes.
She had grown up staring into those eyes; she'd seen them bright with excitement, overflowing with vitality, glassy with tears, and everything in between. She knew how to detect when he was being sarcastic or serious from those eyes, for they always glinted when he was up to no good, and became as dark as shadows when he was lost in thought or telling her tragic stories about the heroes who didn't survive in the end. No, the worst part wasn't that she was staring into those familiar eyes – the worst part was staring into those eyes and seeing nothing but a complete stranger gazing back at her.
"William." Her voice came out much colder than she'd intended, but she suddenly didn't care that much.
Will moved slowly across the overlook, hands clasped behind his back, posture straight and proud, as always. She forced herself to stand her ground as he came closer, though everything in her was screaming for her to run and forget this ever happened.
"You're nervous," he said. She blinked at his unexpected statement. "You pace whenever you get too anxious," he explained, gesturing to her. She only stared, not knowing what to say. "It's something of a habit for you."
She remained silent. He sighed, looking down to his feet and frowning. "I see that you're still angry with me."
Cassie couldn't help but scoff. He looked back up to her, brows furrowed.
"I'm not angry, Will," she said, shaking her head. "'Angry' is reserved for small, petty arguments that can be worked out over a cup of tea and a few hugs. And betrayal doesn't really fall into that category."
Surprise and some resign flitted over his features. "So you think I betrayed you?"
"Didn't I just say that?" she snapped. She took a deep breath when he didn't reply and tried to rein in her emotions. She had to keep her head; she had to be reasonable if she was going to talk any sense into him. She couldn't drive him away, not if there was still a chance that she could convince him to come back home and forget all of this pure-blood nonsense.
"I understand that you're upset, Cassie," he said softly. "But Cass…you're so young, so ideological, so sheltered. When you venture out into the world it's an entirely new place, and there are things that allow you to see so clearly what is wrong with our society."
"What, like all Muggles and Muggle-borns are scum, and we should treat them as if they are beneath us?" she retorted. He smiled ruefully.
"You see everything in black and white," he said, "but there is no distinction. Light and Dark, Good and Evil – they do not exist. This movement is not anti-Muggle or pro-pure-blood; it's about balance – restoring order. Witches and wizards have lived in secrecy for so long because of Muggle persecution. This new order is going to change that. Those with magic will no longer cower in the shadows, and those with no magic will learn to accept their place in the world. They will admire us for our powers and realize how foolish they were so long ago to drive us out. They will help us see what we truly are – higher beings of a greater distinction, with a greater purpose. And the world will be better because of it."
Cassie felt as if a cold, dead hand was wrapping itself around her throat. Tears stung her eyes. "What did they do to you, Will? Oh, Merlin, what did they do to make you believe all that?"
"One day you'll see, Cassie," he said, breathless with passion. "One day you'll realize why I left. Then you'll be by my side, watching as we shape history together. And what a glorious day that will be."
She shook her head, stepping away as his eyes beseeched her, lacking anything within that she could recognize. This wasn't her brother – this was a blind follower of a lost cause.
"I don't know who you are anymore," she said, her voice tremulous. "You never used to be like this. You never talked about stuff like this. I don't know what you've become."
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing out his nose.
"I didn't come here to argue with you, Cassie," he said. "You're my sister; that's not ever going to change. We are bonded by blood, and that magic runs deep. You know this, too, and that's why you can't bring yourself to hate me."
Her retort died on her lips when she met his eyes again, and she drew in a sharp breath when she saw some sort of glimmer there – a small light that told her not all was lost.
He extracted a small box from within his robes and held it out to her, watching expectantly as she hesitated. She slowly reached for the box and he pressed it into her hand, giving her a tiny smile. The box was heavier than she expected, coated with black lacquer and tied with a simple golden string. She opened it carefully and gasped when she saw what was inside.
It was a locket made of an intricate silver and ruby design, but it was something she had never seen before as she opened it and saw the smallest metal gears turning and whirring within, giving the impression of a miniature machine.
"I found this a few weeks ago, in some strange shop in Bournemouth," he said as she stared down at the locket in wonder. "It's what they call a clockwork locket, because of the little gears on the inside. You can enchant it and it'll play back anything you want it to – a message, a poem, a song, whatever. The giver is the one who usually enchants it, and that's what I did. There's a note inside the box that tells you how to play what I charmed it with."
"Will, I-I don't know what to say," she said, torn between fascination and a sudden rush of resentment. He inclined his head to her.
"Think of it as an apology," he said, and those were the words that finally pushed her over the edge, a well of emotions bursting inside her as she looked up to him.
"Please come home, Will." Her voice came out small, pleading. "Please come back."
Pain flashed across his features before it was gone, replaced with a carefully controlled mask. She closed her eyes when his cold hand cupped her cheek, his thumb swiping at the tears that were now falling.
"I can't, Cassie," he whispered, and something shriveled inside her at his words. "There are things I have to do; things that should have been done a long time ago. I can't come home. Not yet."
"Please," she said, her voice nothing more than a ragged whisper. "Please don't leave me alone."
"I love you, Cassie." He sounded strangled. "I love you."
He pulled away. She seized his sleeve, suddenly desperate. "No, Will—"
She froze when she saw something on his wrist. He attempted to tug his arm out of her grasp, but she'd already pushed his sleeve up, a wave of nausea rolling over her.
An ugly tattoo marred the inside of his left forearm – a skull with twisting serpents twining around it and spilling out of its mouth, black and oozing with something dark and terrible. Cassie stared, horrified – so shocked that she barely registered when he yanked his arm out of her grip and hastily rolled down his sleeve.
"Dear Merlin, what is that?" she breathed.
"It's nothing," he said. "They're just things we get when we join, like badges of honor. He makes us get them to prove our loyalty."
"He?" she echoed. "He makes you get them? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"
"That is not the Dark Lord's title," he said, miffed. "He is far greater than what the Prophet makes him out to be—"
"You should leave," she interrupted. His eyes widened, his lips parting in shock, but she refused to make eye contact, instead looking down to her feet.
"Cassie—" he started, but she shook her head, her chest tight.
"Please," she said, and her voice broke on the word. "Please, just go."
He hesitated, opening his mouth to say something before he shut it again. She squeezed her eyes shut as that day in June came back to her, when they were in this exact position upon his first leave-taking.
"I'm sorry."
This time she knew it was him speaking, not the wind. She looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks, just in time to see him disappear again.
A sob escaped her throat when she realized that he was gone again. She sank to her knees, hunching over as more sobs racked her body, clutching the box with the locket in it to her chest as she cried.
Where once an ugly, festering wound lay dormant, there was now a ragged, gaping hole. She felt as if she were going to drown in it, slip away until nothing was left of her. The one chance she'd had to make things right with Will, the last shred of hope she'd been clinging to, was now crushed into dust, and knowing that she'd failed was what killed her.
She didn't look up when four pairs of trainers abruptly stood in front of her, but she flinched when a hand touched her shoulder, warm and comforting.
"Cassie?" It was Remus, she knew, but she couldn't acknowledge him. Not when everything was falling apart around her. "Cassie, please look at me."
Despite her reluctance, she did, blinking to see him through her tears. He looked awful, and she guessed her predicament wasn't making him feel any better. His fingers hovered over her face before he dropped them, as if he couldn't bear to touch her. She couldn't blame him, though; she must've been a terrible sight.
"Will," she blubbered. "He – I – How much did you hear?"
He looked highly uncomfortable. "Erm, everything?"
She looked down, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and trying very hard to not be embarrassed by the whole situation. She only looked up when she felt another body slide down next to hers.
James Potter gazed at her solemnly, his hazel eyes more serious than she had ever seen them. And then he said, very bluntly: "Your brother is a git."
The absurdity of the statement captured her off-guard, and she bit out a harsh laugh as his arm snaked around her shoulders.
Peter Pettigrew plopped down in front of her, and though he didn't say anything, he held out a Chocolate Frog to her. She took it gratefully, nibbling on a small piece as Remus settled on her other side, hemming her in between the three.
Sirius Black was still standing, looking extremely awkward and out of place until Potter yanked on his sleeve and pulled him down beside him.
The dark-haired boy grumbled something incoherent but sat anyway, leaning against Potter as the bespectacled boy propped his head on Cassie's shoulder, lending her a silent strength and an unspoken comfort. She flicked his nose lightly to show that she appreciated it, and he grinned into her jacket.
Cassie didn't know how long they stayed like that, but she found herself not really minding, too touched by their concern and too ravaged by her brother's departure to think about doing anything else. But eventually, Potter was the one who goaded them into moving.
"My ass hurts," he complained, breaking the peaceful silence. Cassie snorted as he lifted his head off her shoulder, making a big show of standing up and rubbing his backside.
"I second that," Pettigrew grunted, getting to his feet and stretching. Black followed his lead and rose gracefully, not even disgruntled.
Remus offered her a hand up. She accepted it, hauling herself off the hard ground and immediately regretting having sat that long when her legs burned.
"Looks like we still have a few hours before we have to be back," Potter remarked. He turned and wagged his eyebrows at them. "Who's up for a butterbeer?"
Cassie found herself being pulled along by Remus as they headed back to the main street and into Hogsmeade, laughing with them as they told jokes and stories. Their previous exchange was not mentioned at all, and she was beyond relieved when they never brought it up, for she still didn't know what to make of it. That hole was still there, and it throbbed every time she poked at its edges, but she knew that like all things, time would heal it – even if it hurt like hell in the meantime.
The only thing that was said about it that day was when they were heading back to the castle, full of warm butterbeer and giddy with the cheerful atmosphere of The Three Broomsticks. Black stopped her when they were exiting the pub, his hand on her shoulder and his eyes searching her face.
"Alderfair," he said lowly so only they could hear. She looked back to him with some trepidation, but he only seemed concerned, if not slightly awkward. "Are you all right?"
She didn't answer immediately, letting her gaze linger on the other three Marauders as Potter and Pettigrew skipped arm-in-arm down the street, singing a highly inappropriate drinking song about a one-legged wizard and a big-breasted barmaid while Remus roared with laughter behind them. Watching them, she felt the faint stirrings of something warm in her chest, and she looked back to Black, giving him a tiny smile.
"Not really, no," she said, meeting his grey eyes. "But honestly, Black? I think I will be."
So much stuff - but it is the titular chapter, after all ;)
Next Chapter: The Worst Birthday Part 1
xx