"Bella, can I ask you something?" I questioned her after she had gotten into the truck and started it up.

"Sure." she replied, hesitantly.

Once we were on the road to Uncle Billy's, I had worked up enough courage to ask Bella something I've been wanting to for a long time. I knew by her telling me and from reading her mind that she wanted Edward (or anyone for that matter) to change her into a vampire. I also knew from hearing Edward's thoughts that he did NOT want to change her. Now, I've tried to stay out of it best I could and let them make their OWN choices, but I couldn't help but feel like it was my duty to talk her out of it.

After all, I AM the only human that could, seeing as how I'm the only one who knows about the situation. I knew Uncle Charlie, Aunt Renee and my parents would want me to. As for myself, I couldn't decide one way or the other. I could understand more than anyone the concept of NOT wanting to die. However, it's that that very same reason that made me think she should also live her life to the fullest.

And when I say live her life to the fullest, I mean to really LIVE. To get married, have children, have grandchildren, grow old with someone . . . die with someone. It's hard for me to know someone has the oppurtunity to have all those things and they're just going to throw it all away. Heck, I would give anything to see my thirteenth birthday. On the other hand, how can your life be worth living, if you don't share it with the one you love?

"Is Edward going to change you into a vampire?" I blurted out. I bit my lower lip in uncertainty and looked sideways at Bella to see her response.

She gave a big sigh, pursed her lips in determination and said,"That's still in debate."

"Do you want to hear what I think?" I asked, turning my body towards her in the seat.

"I think I already know." She said, rolling her eyes. "But let's hear it."

"I don't know for sure." I stated. "But I think that . . . I think that you should think about it."

"I already have." she said simply. "And I know what I want."

"And what is that?"

"I want to be with Edward forever."

"In other words, you want to be a vampire forever?"

"If that's what it takes."

I sat there for a moment staring out the windshield in front of me trying to think of different things I could say to her to make her change her mind. Yeah, right. Like anything I could possibly think of was worth giving up spending eternity with the one you love. But I had to try.

I remembered Edward once gravely imagining his precious Bella in excruciating pain for an extended amount of time and upon my asking, he explained why. So I went for that.

"It's gonna hurt, ya know." I warned. She didn't respond.

"Like, REALLY bad. " I continued. "For three whole days."

"I already know that." She finally said, starting to get irritated with me.

There was a short pause before she whispered, "That's the least of my worries."

"What are you most worried about?" I asked her. Maybe this was the key, the one thing that might make her change her mind. Although, there wasn't a lot I could think of that was gonna be worse than the pain I had just mentioned.

"I just . . . . I hope I don't kill anyone." She said intensely, I think more to herself than me.

"Kill anyone? Why would you want to kill anyone?" I asked, incredulously.

"Well, I wouldn't 'want' to." She replied, getting annoyed with me again. Then glancing at me with a confused look on her face she asked. "Is that a serious question?"

"Um, . . . . . nooo ." I said slowly, carefully choosing my words so as to avoid looking stupid. What the heck? It's just Bella. "Yes. Yes, that was a serious question."

"I don't want to kill anyone for their blood." she said, putting an emphasis on every word. "What part of that don't you understand?"

"Well, if you don't want to, then don't."

"I'm going to try my best, Lanie! But if most of the Cullens can't even do it, then I . . . . "

"Most of the Cullens can't even do what!"

"Excercise self-control . . . refrain themselves."

"From what!"

"From HUMAN BLOOD!"

"Come again?"

"I think you heard me."

After after a moment of contemplation I asked, "What exactly do you mean, 'can't' control themselves? I mean, how hard could it be?"

She looked at me with a very puzzled expression on her face as long as she could before turning her focus back onto the road.

"The Cullens have killed people for their blood before, Lanie." she said, glancing at me to see if that's what I was confused about.

"But, why would they do that?"

"Well, I don't know." she said very mockingly. "Maybe because they're vampires".

"I know that, Bella!"

"Then what part of this is confusing you!"

"Just because you like something, doesn't mean you kill someone for it." I explained to her my theory. "I figured blood for them is kinda like chocolate ice cream for us."

"Chocolate ice cream?"

"It's comparable in the same way that, just because you might really, REALLY like it doesn't mean you're going to kill someone for it."

"Not exactly, Lanie." She gave a quiet chuckle. "This is how Edward explained it to me . . . ."

"A frenzy?" I repeated for confirmation, after she repeated to me what Edward had told her that day when describing a vampire's need for blood.

"Yeah." she attested. "It's nearly uncontrollable."

"Why didn't they tell me?" I wondered aloud to her. "They must've known that I didn't know, especially after what happened earlier today."

"That was Esme's idea." Bella enlightened me. "She didn't want you to be scared of her or any of the others."

"Scared? Of what?" I scoffed. "They're all nothing but a bunch of pansies."

"Oh, OK." she laughed at me. "I'll be sure and tell them you think that."

I laughed with her for a second and then thought about it for a while. How bad they must all feel about having killed people before? Especially Esme. It made me really sad to think about her feeling guilty over it and wanting to keep it from me. I'll make sure she never knows that I know.

"Ya know, it's really hard for me to believe that the Cullens are the only ones like that." I said, going back to what she had told me earlier. "I mean, they can't be the only ones with a conscience. Take Laurent, for example. He seemed like a really nice person. There's NO WAY I could imagine him as a killer."

"Lanie," Bella started. "To put it simply, you think way too highly of people."

I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head. I then I remembered what put us into having this conversation in the first place. I almost had resigned from my mission, but the thought of Uncle Charlie and Aunt Renee losing Bella forever made me give it another go. But then, do I honestly think that I'm going to be the one to shatter her resolve?

"There's absolutely nothing anyone could ever say or do to make you change your mind is there?" I asked her as we were pulling up to Jacob's house.

"No, there's not." she said blankly, slowing down and putting the truck into park.

It was raining as usual, this was 'Forks' after all. I looked out the passenger side window and admired all the greenery. You could easily hear the rushing rapids of the river not far away. I always thought it was beautiful here. Every since I was a small child, . . . a much smaller child, I imagined these forests were enchanted. There was something about them that made me feel like an adventure was waiting to happen. It's only recently that I've begun to realize that life itself was an adventure waiting to happen. I had to make Bella understand that too. There had to be some way.

"Look around you." I pleaded, earnestly, "The forest, the river, the flowers, the frogs . . . it's all a part of life. It's always changing, it's always growing. Like you, Bella. You're life is never the same. You were once a kid like me, but now you are about to become a grown woman. Someday you'll grow up and you'll do something important. You'll have children, maybe. And then one day . . . you'll go 'out'. Just like the flame of a candle, you'll make way for new life. That's a certainty. That's the natural way of things.

And then there's vampires. What the Cullens have, you can't call it living. They just . . . . are. They're like rocks, stuck at the side of the river. Do you want to stay stuck as you are right now, forever? I've just got to find a way to make you understand."

"I don't want to die." Bella finally joined, her voice cracking with emotion. "Is that wrong?"

"No." I assured her. "No human does. But it's part of life. It's the same with being born, you can't have it without dying. Don't be afraid of death, Bella. Be afraid of the unlived life."

I looked up just in time to see Jacob running out in the rain and towards the truck, most likely to grab my bags and help me bring them inside. I looked back back at my cousin next to me and we shared a meaningful stare. I had said all I had to say to her already. What she decided now was entirely up to her.

"Hey, Bella!" Jacob called, opening my door and sticking his head inside.

His smile was like sunshine. It didn't matter what the weather was outside, I always felt warm when he was around. I was sure grateful I had him in my life, especially now.

Bella smiled back and nodded in response. Normally, she would've said more, so I used my abilities to make sure she was giving some good thought to what I said. I was content for now just to know she was, so I jumped out of the truck, slammed the door behind me and ran into the small, red house.

This chapter I had typed up got long enough to create two, so I have the next one ready to publish!
Just click REVIEW and let me know what you think! =D