Natalia awoke in the middle of the night to James tossing and turning in his sleep. She sat up and looked over at him ,studying him with only the moonlight coming through the window shedding any light. He was sweating and his body twitched as he started mumbling.

"No, I can't help it."

"I'm sorry."

"Please forgive me."

"I don't want to do this."

Natalia reached over to place a hand on him to wake him from his terror. She shifted her weight in the bed to lean over to him. "Ja-" She was caught off by grabbing her by the neck with his metal hand, pinning her down on the bed with his other hand ready to hit. She made no sudden movements as she laid there. Looking upon his face she knew this wasn't James but rather the Winter Soldier. His eyes were empty of any familiarity towards her and his jaw was clenched as he stared down as he tried to determine if she was a threat or not. She could barely breathe under the weight of him and if she was honest with herself she was scared but hopeful that he would come to. She felt his hand start to tighten it's grip around her as he decided she was a threat. Natalia's hands flew to the chrome hand around her throat trying to pry it away as the force became stronger.

"You could at least recognize me." She let out hoarsely as she tried to struggle free. She managed to slip her leg up from under him and bring it up towards her and kicked him dead in the chest sending him off the bed. Sitting up, she inhaled a deep breath and quickly grabbed the alarm clock off her night stand just as James started to stand from the ground. Lunging at him with the alarm clock in hand, she bashed him on the side of the head with it and kept a safe distance as he grabbed his head.

James stood, still rubbing the spot where she hit him. He looked over to where she was standing on the other side of the bed, now holding a pistol cocked and pointed at him. A look of realization came over him and just like that James was back.

"Talia, I'm okay. I'm not going to hurt you I promise." He assured as he put his hands up. She scanned his face for any sign of the Winter Soldier lingering. His blue eyes were back to the normal, his face looked more relaxed than before. Despite her ready to shoot him that is. Natalia lowered the weapon and he let out a sigh of relief. "Did I do that? Natalia did I do that to you?" He asked panicked.

"Do what to me?" She asked confusedly. He gestured to her neck. "Your neck."

"Not on purpose, it wasn't you James." She said in hopes of comforting him, he turned from her and ran a hand over his face visibly upset by his actions. "James, it's okay. I'm okay." She stepped towards him

"That's not the point." He barked at her. She stopped her tracks. "I hurt you, I lost control of myself and I could have killed you Natalia." He was standing with his hands on hips, still angry with himself. They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"What were you dreaming about?" She asked, finally breaking the silence. James sat at the foot of the bed and she joined him. She didn't try to touch him just yet.

James leaned forward rubbing his face and propping his elbows up on his knees. "My missions. One in particular that has stayed with me."

"What happened?" Her voice was just above a whisper. James looked over at her and she could tell something deep was plaguing him.

"He knew me." He stated. "I was sent to retrieve this super soldier serum and that involved killing the person who currently possessed it at the time. I took out the car and it crashed into a tree, I knew they weren't dead. So I approached the car and pulled the driver out tp finish the job. When he saw my face he called me Sergeant Barnes. He looked surprised to see me."

"Sergeant?" She raised a brow.

"I have these memories that come to me every now and again. But things don't make sense." He shook his head and sighed. "I have memories of New York, I know they aren't from a mission because some of the details make it seem like a lot longer ago. I get these flash backs sometimes when I'm on a rooftop locking in to shoot my target and suddenly I remember being dressed in a army uniform. I think I was American before all of this."

Natalia stifled a laugh. James turned to her and raised a brow at her. "What?"

"Think? On your accent when you speak other languages alone I know you were American." She grinned playfully at him. He just rolled his eyes at her before pulling her into him and leaning back onto the bed. "Now lets get some sleep before you have to report back in the morning." She insisted before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Alright, I'll try not to kill you this time I promise."

The girl on her grasp was about Natalia's age. She had black hair like her father who was tied to the chair in front of her. Alexei and Misha were interrogating him and roughing him up. His name was Ian Drakoff. He was a rich business man who made his way to the top by scamming and cheating others and he owed quite the debt to Natalia's bosses for helping put him at the top. A debt he has yet to repay and his time was up. The three of them had snuck into his mansion and brought Drakoff and his daughter into the study. They were the only ones home. His daughter had her hands tied behind her back, her feet were bound as well and Natalia gripped her by her black hair. She was crying and whimpering, her father was remaining stoic and hard headed.

"I already told you, I was told the rest debt was taken care of. They said it was no longer needed." Drakoff insisted. Misha and Alexei gave each other a look. Alexei nodded.

"Look, if you don't hold up your end of the bargain we will take something even bigger from you." Alexei threatened. Drakoff was black and blue and bloodied. He clearly didn't understand the depth of the threat.

"I can't use my business as a front for KGB operations. I can't be involved in that stuff, the stakes are too high." He stated.

"If you don't we will shoot your daughter right now." Misha interjected. Natalia could feel the girl start shaking as she cried harder.

"Please daddy, do what they say." She pleaded. Drakoff just chuckled and shook his head.

"They won't kill you Nina, they couldn't cover that up."

Misha and Alexei looked at each other once more. Misha turned to Natalia and nodded. With that she pulled her gun from her holster and pressed it to the girl's temple and squeezed the trigger. It was quick and easy. The girl's lifeless body fell forward as soon as Natalia let go of her. Drakoff started screaming and wailing.

"You monsters! That was my little girl! My only daughter!" He screamed as tears streamed from his eyes.

"I warned you." Alexei shrugged. "Natalia, gun." Natalia stepped over the body and placed the gun in Alexei's outreached hand. He took out a cloth and wiped the handle clean. "Now, what are you going to hold up your end of the deal?"

Drakoff spat at Alexei which made him smack him. "You son of a bitch." Just like that Alexei shot and killed the man.

"You idiot, we needed him!" Misha screamed at him. Natalia stood there and said nothing. Alexei could get a temper to him and while he had a loaded gun she wasn't going to argue with him. "Your mess you clean it up." Misha huffed and left the room. Alexei stood there with his hands on his hip sand let out an exasperated sigh. He looked over to Natalia who was still standing in silence.

"Well, looks like its just me and you cleaning this up." He stated. "Grab the girl and I'll grab him."

They had decided to lay the bodies out and place the gun in Drakoff's hand, making it look like a murder suicide. Alexei typed up a fake suicide letter on the type write that was in the room and they made sure there were no traces of them anywhere in the place before leaving. They three of them were in the jeep back to the mansion to report on the events of the night when Alexei spoke up.

"Good job Natalia, you did it without any hesitation." She just nodded. Natalia did execute without hesitation, she actually had no feeling bad or good about it. But something in her felt...well she couldn't describe it. Maybe it was because the girl was the same age as her. Maybe it was because she died because her father was too stubborn. She didn't know what it was but she thought it best not to dwell on it. Instead she shifted her attention to the conversation between Alexei and Misha. She heard them mention James.

"Yeah I heard it was pretty rough this time." Alexei commented.

"I had never seen him fight it so much before. I mean, it can't be great but last time they wiped memories from him he put up some small resistance." Misha exclaimed. "This was something else. He fought every step and even threw a couple guys. We had to sedate him and everything."

"You think something changed?" Alexei wondered aloud.

Misha just shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe. Maybe he has a memory he doesn't want to forget. What do you think Natalia? You've trained pretty closely with him in the past."

She pretended to seem uninterested. "Who knows, maybe he just had enough of it." She left it at that. They continued on their conversation while she stared out the window. All she could think about is when she sees him next that he might not remember some of their most recent times together. It was the only thing to ever make her heart ache was the though of him not knowing her. It was a possibility.

That night when she got ready to go to bed, she just laid there in the dark and stared at the ceiling. Her mind was racing with what ifs about her and James' future. Would they be found out? How long could they keep this going? What kind of ending were they hoping for? There was no way for them to have a normal life or do normal things. Now he's fighting them on wiping his memory. She's compromised him and she couldn't allow herself to do this to him.