CHAPTER TEN
A BIT TOO MUCH
After six days of living with the Puckermans and only a few incidents with some really resentful girls that are not over Rachel I'm finally feeling like me again.
It's been weird to find myself just after I lost everything that I've known for my entire life but I guess it's the fact that Rachel is not constantly telling me what to do and what's right, and what's not that has everything to do with it.
Rachel's been great; she is attentive, sweet, careful and so incredibly caring that it's almost unbelievable to see this part of her personality. She truly is amazing and it saddens me that I never saw it before these last few weeks.
The nights are definitely more comfortable and I love to wake up in her arms, if only to feel her pressed against me. There haven't been any more incidents after that first morning that I woke up from a very vivid and pornographic dream myself but that's okay as well.
Of course that the urge to kiss her after she does something perfect is bigger and stronger everyday but I've managed not to throw myself at her for the last six days and hopefully I'll have the strength to keep holding it together.
This morning I make pancakes with smiley faces on them and fry bacon before I run up the stairs to dry my hair but when I get inside the room I find Rachel standing in front of the vanity while she combs her hair.
"I thought you were sleeping." She smiles through the mirror before turning around.
"The bed was all empty and cold after you left that I couldn't stay there any longer."
I blush as I take her place in front of the vanity, my heart jumping inside of my chest all the way there.
"I made pancakes for breakfast; you better go down and eat some before Puck eats everything like yesterday morning."
I almost hit him with the bowl empty of sandwiches when I went down to have one and Rachel and I had to go to school with an empty stomach before she refused to eat her fruity loops if I didn't eat them as well and I wasn't in the mood for sweets yesterday, in fact I haven't been in the mood for candies the entire week.
"I'll shave his mohawk in his sleep if he does that again, I swear."
"I'll like to see that happening."
We laugh and she does the bed as I dry my hair and comb it before I pull it up in a tight ponytail.
"I don't know why you have to use your hair like that every day," she shrugs and takes a seat on the mattress, "you look beautiful with your hair down."
I feel my face light up on fire and a little giggle escaping my lips before she reaches out and takes my hand to pull me to seat beside her.
"I want to talk to you," she softly says and it's like she fears my answer so I just give her a nod fearing for what she's going to say myself.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about you and me, and our baby and after what happened yesterday with Camilla I really need you to know a few things."
I look away from her and try to take my hands away from hers but she doesn't let me. Camilla is a senior and one of the most popular girls of our school and she is incredibly in love with Rachel, and yesterday she just corner me with a few of her friend when I was by my locker and gave me a summary of hers and Rachel's relationship before I got on the picture and made it perfectly clear of how resentful she is of this new develop relationship of ours.
"She was completely out of place and I swear if she wasn't a girl I would have punched her when I found out what she did."
I don't say anything because as much as I hate to admit it Camilla did open my eyes to see a bigger picture. She was just one of many girls that keep sending me dead glares on the hallways and Rachel has a past with all of them, they were there before me and it made me doubt everything because we are not in a relationship, we are not together like that and it's only a matter of time before Rachel goes back to one of them.
"I know that I've said this before but I want you to know that I am a hundred per cent in this with you, okay?"
I look at her and it doesn't matter how much I look for it, I don't find any hesitation in her eyes, she continues.
"I know you think that I'm a… player," she rolls her eyes at her own use of words and caresses the back of my hands with her thumbs, "and I know that I act like one but I'm in this with you and I've decided that… I'm not going to go after some girl while you're living with me."
I'm about to protest against that but she raises her finger when I open my mouth and cuts me off.
"I understood you the first time when you said that you don't want to be with me like that and I respect it, I really do. I'm not going to ask you for anything but you are the mother of my kid and I will be damned if I don't respect you because you deserve it, you deserve everything Quinn and I want to give it to you."
In love? Yeah, I'm totally in love with her.
"Okay."
I nod my head and she smiles shyly, probably noticing how my eyes can't look away from her very tempting lips, I really want to kiss her right now. She smiles wider and I look up shaking my head.
"I mean we're not together so you don't really need to do that, you know? You don't have to put your life on hold because of me." Or stop fucking sluts for that matter.
Why can't I just tell her that I want her? That I love her? I'm so scared of what this means and I hate it, I don't want to feel vulnerable, especially not when I'm living with her and have her arms around me every night.
"I want to do this; I'm not going to disrespect you like that. Not that I'm asking you for anything, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to-you know- get with you like that or something."
"Would it be that bad if you touch me again Rachel!"
She flinches at the harsh sound of my voice and I would have too if I wasn't feeling so damn angry right now but why is she so eager to clear the fact that she doesn't want sex with me like that?
"No, no, no, no." She holds her hands up and I roll my eyes as I try to control my raging baby hormones. But I'm frustrated that she can't say it aloud, I know she likes me as much as I do so why is this so difficult? I know that I pushed her away but I've been in her bed for six nights already, isn't that prove enough that I want her close, that I want her with me?
"You never told me how your parents found out."
I feel my entire body tense up at the question and my hands instantly fall on my belly, Santana's words are still very much present in my mind and even if I haven't seen Finn in the entire week because he is avoiding me I know that he feels bad, he must to.
"It just happened." With the sound of my voice I don't believe myself talking so I'm not surprised to see Rachel's brow furrow in confusion.
"Your parents didn't just kick you out, how did they find out? Did you tell them?"
"No, it wasn't like that. They just found out."
"But someone must have told them, right?"
She is pushing a little bit but I don't think she realizes that, she just wants to know the truth, nothing more.
I could lie, I could tell her that my father found out on his way home, that someone at work told him but I don't want to.
"Finn."
The silence that follows should have been proving enough that I made a mistake. "Rachel?" She blinks and focuses on me again, she is not angry although it seems like her brain is going a hundred miles per hour.
"What happened?" her tone is soft, controlled but for a moment I still think about not telling her, "it's okay, Quinn. We can talk about this."
"When I got home that day he was there, he was waiting in the living room for me with my parents." I look at my hands on my lap, fighting against the tears that threatened to fall down. I really don't know what he was thinking.
"He told them," it's not a question but I'm nodding anyway, her face is completely blank as she grabs my hand and takes it to her lips to kiss it. "You're here now and everything is fine, okay? He can't hurt you anymore, none of them can."
This is that protective side I've heard about and as much as flattered as I feel, I also feel scared for what will happen next.
"Rachel, don't do anything stupid okay? He is not worth it."
"But he hurt you; look what he did, what he provoked."
"But I'm okay now, you said so yourself. There's no need to look for trouble."
"I won't do anything."
"Promise me you won't punch him?"
"I promise."
As I grab my books and bag she types away on her phone but I let it be, she promised she wouldn't do anything so she won't.
We eat breakfast with Shelby and Kevin this morning and as usual Puck comes running down the stairs late and grabs the last two pancakes on the table before kissing his mom on the cheek good morning.
When the doorbell rings and Puck looks at Rachel eagerly I know that something is going on and especially even more when Dave, Mike, Azimio and Matt walk inside the house and sit around the breakfast table like they live here.
Shelby and Kevin greet them like this is a common happening and I take advantage of the moment to pull Rachel to the living room and out of ear dropping ears.
"You were texting them this morning." It's not a question but I still want her to confirm it.
"Yeah, I was."
"Rachel, you promised you wouldn't do anything stupid."
"I'll keep my promise. They are driving with Puck," just as she says this we hear the boys saying their goodbyes and the front door closing. "I promised I wouldn't punch him, didn't I?" she grins and I nod my head, a little doubtful but still.
"Are you going to talk to him?"
"I think so, or I might just leave him a message."
I feel uneasy and very much so but I don't push for answers, she'll be driving with me anyway and she is always by my side between periods so it's not like she'll do anything in two minutes.
"Thank you" I tell her and gets closer to me, and tucks some imaginary hair behind my ear.
"For what?" she grins.
"For staying, for being like this, for everything."
She cups my face and grips my waist with her free hand, God! I really want to kiss her right now and I could if I just lean over and tip a little bit but the look on her face throws me off, she looks so happy that I feel like my own heart can feel what she's feeling right now.
"I would be a fool if I didn't," she pulls me closer, our bodies flushing against each other, my hands resting on her shoulders, "you are so beautiful Quinn and you have no idea of all the things I'd do for you, all the things I'd give up for you and it wouldn't even be an option because I know it'll be worth it because you're having my baby."
She smiles with watery eyes that break my heart in two because of the adorableness as her eyes look down at my belly.
"You're giving me everything I could ever ask for, my own family and I could never ask you for anything else." I cup her face with my hands and watch as she leans on my touch and closes her eyes, sucking in all the closeness, I caress her cheeks with my thumbs and she smiles softly at the contact.
"Would you still think of me as beautiful when I gain a hundred pounds and look like a whale?"
She laughs at the randomness of my question but I need to know, I want to hear her say what I need to hear right now.
"You won't."
"How do you know and why are you laughing?" she holds my hands in her cheeks when I try to move them away and looks right into my eyes.
"I'm not laughing" she says trying to hold back a laugh, I try to move away from her again but she wraps her arms around my waist and laughs even harder, making me laugh along with her in the process.
"I'm not laughing," she repeats out of breath and then she shrugs her shoulders and smiles sincerely, "I'm not saying that you won't gain weight 'cause we both know that that is going to happen."
She nods her head to make her point across and even pauses as my head runs over everything that I'd need, forget about clothes, nothing will fit me when I explode, let alone my cheerleading uniform.
"You will gain weight."
"Thanks." I sarcastically reply and she laughs.
"You didn't let me finish there," she takes a deep breath and holds a little tighter with her arms around my waist, "you have an amazing body and you'll gain weight because you're taking care of a new life that's growing inside of you and I know that you want him or her to be healthy, right?"
"Of course I do" I roll my eyes at the question and she smiles lightly.
"Then you will eat in a healthy way and let me tell you something," she whispers getting closer to me with a playful expression on her face, I shiver at her proximity but she doesn't notice, "I bet you're going to be one hot momma." She smirks while I blush before hiding my face in her chest, she hugs me immediately and I rest my head on her shoulder. I love her arms around me, I love being like this.
"Thank you," and when I look up I'm determined to steal that kiss from her very tempting lips.
"We're leaving sweetie!" Shelby's voice makes me jump back from her and Rachel rolls her eyes.
"Okay, ma."
"Have a nice day Shelby."
When the front door shuts close I'm still looking at the floor trying to calm the wild beating of my heart and my flaming cheeks. I could almost felt her lips pressed against mine and I'm pretty sure that the sensation won't leave me for the rest of the day.
"Come on, we should get going too."
…
"No way!"
"Why is it so hard to believe?"
"Because you're Rachel!"
"I'm going to try to not take offense by that."
"I just can't believe it."
"Well maybe you should come with me to the next lesson then."
"I think I just might."
She smiles and I blush under her gaze, it's becoming physically impossible to not be affected by her presence anymore and who wouldn't feel all mushy inside when you hear that the one fathering your child gives guitar lesson to six year olds on her free time?
"Kim is really good, you'll like her."
"How long have you been teaching her?"
"Just a couple of months but she's a natural I swear, the first time I heard her playing and singing that Jonas Brothers' song I think I tear up a little bit. I was so proud."
I love you. God! I love you so much and I can't wait to hear you say the same things about our daughter or son, I just can't wait.
"What Jonas Brothers' song?"
"That one with… I don't know the name but I think I remember the lyrics a bit, wanna hear it?" her eyes are hopeful and playful and I nod my head in extreme enthusiasm, much for her amusement and my own personal embarrassment.
Called her for the first time yesterday,
I finally found the missing part of me.
I felt so close but you were far away,
left me without anything to say.
Now I'm speechless, over the edge,
I'm just breathless, I never thought
that I'd catch this love bug…
"Love bug! That's the name."
She laughs as I take a deep breath and refuse to look away from her smiling and happy face. I've never seen her like this, just so free and singing and oh God! Her voice must be the most beautiful sound ever invented.
"Have you heard it?" she asks me, that beautiful smile still in place and my heart turns into a mushy ball of cheesiness.
"Keep going." I ask her and she scrunches up her nose in an adorable way before the light turns green and she starts driving again on our way to school.
"Only if you join me."
"I will, in the chorus." Anything for you, just keep singing please. I want to keep hearing to your glorious voice.
I can't get your smile out of my mind,
I think about your eyes all the time.
Beautiful but you don't even try,
Modesty is just so hard to find.
She stops and looks at me expectantly, her eyes shining with playfulness and something else that I can't quit understand. I give her a nod and then I join her in the chorus.
Now I'm speechless, over the edge,
I'm just breathless, I never thought
that I'd catch this love bug again.
Hopeless, head over hills in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this
love bug again.
We stop at another red light and her hand finds mine on the console as she starts singing the next few lines all by herself.
I kissed her for the first time a few weeks ago,
everything I wished that It would be
suddenly I forgot how to speak
I am hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
She kisses the back of my hand before putting it back down and reassume driving, leaving me a confused and expectant mess. If that wasn't a declaration of some kind then I don't know what it is.
She smiles but that playful stare is no longer there so this time I am the one that takes her hand and plant a soft kiss on the palm right before interlacing our fingers together and we both sing the last chorus as she parks on the school parking lot.
Now I'm speechless, over the edge,
I'm just breathless, I never thought
that I'd catch this love bug again.
Hopeless, head over hills in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this
love bug again.
By the time we finish we're both laughing and a few curious people are glancing our way but I couldn't care less because Rachel and I just moved forward, it was only a barely there step but we did, we took it.
But as soon as we get inside the school we are met with chaos. There is a crowd that prevents me from seeing what's going on in the hallway and everyone is laughing so loud.
"What's going on?" I ask but Rachel's hand is calm and relaxed as she holds mine.
"Maybe some jackass getting what he deserves or something."
And the tone of her voice is what throws me off, plus the non-subtle shrug of her shoulders as well. I'd bet my Cheerios' uniforms that she knows exactly what's going on and that is the highest of bets I could be involved into.
"What did you do?" I force her to turn around and look at me but the smirk on her face is permanent.
"Nothing, I just drove us to school, remember? I've been by your side since this morning."
"Quinn! Q! Amiga! You gots to see this!"
My best friend practically bounces her away to us, her face the vivid image of smugness, her smile as wide as Rachel's now.
"What is going on?"
And then I hear it, soft whimpering, cries of embarrassment and they are Finn's.
"You're not gonna get away with this!" he yells and his voice is so loud that it makes me jump backwards instead of moving forwards and Rachel notices, her brow furrows in confusion immediately at my sudden reaction.
"Clear up losers!" Santana orders and the crows in front of us open a path for us to walk through.
Rachel bursts into laughter as does Santana as soon as we get a full view of the hallway as my face burns in flames at the sight.
Finn is wearing a Cheerios' skirt as he jumps to try to pull down his clothes that are hanging from the ceiling but the skirt doesn't cover much, well actually it doesn't cover anything and he is jumping like an enraged five year old trying to reach his letterman jacket and pants from the ceiling.
"Oh my God."
I gasp feeling slightly guilty that I'm doing nothing to help him as everyone else just keeps laughing and then I realize that Rachel is no longer by my side and Puck walks closer to Finn with his bag in hands.
"Oh thanks man, I couldn't find it in the lockers earlier."
Finn thanks him looking relieved beyond compare but the evil smirk on Puck's face should have been warning enough that nothing is alright.
When Finn pulls out a shirt from his bag, the shirt is soaking wet in different colors and I realize that they are slushies, they have filled his bag with slushy and now Finn is crying again while everyone else gasp in surprise.
Puck and Finn had always been good friends but not anymore, apparently.
"You don't know what you got yourself into, man."
Puck's threat is loud enough for us to hear and then Rachel walks towards them and grabs Finn's arm to pull him down and whisper something into his ear.
"What is going on in here?!" Miss Sylvester' voice is loud and it's exactly what the crowd needs to run in different directions.
"I should have known that you Puckermans were behind any disturbance!"
Before I can even think about anything I'm right by Rachel's side and holding her hand as Coach approaches them.
"I was just bringing my boy his bag." Puck says, his voice looking as innocent as a little kid's and it takes us all by surprise how endearing he makes himself look.
"You!" Coach turns to Rachel and points her index finger at her face while Finn rubs his eyes furiously with the back of his hands.
"She had nothing to do with it, Coach. She drove me to school and we just got here."
Coach stares at me with a searching soul glare but I maintain it and when she turns to look at Rachel she nods her head furiously and as endearingly as Puck or maybe even more, okay definitely more.
"I will find out who was responsible for Hudson's nudity in the hallways and expose us all to such an outrageous view!"
Santana chuckles lightly before the Coach takes Finn down the hallway, probably to look some clothes for the poor boy.
Santana and Puck disappear down the hallway as well mumbling something about being late, they practically run.
"No one can mess with my family like that, no one." Rachel says before I can say anything.
"You'll get in a lot of trouble for this," I try to sound reprimanding but truth is that I loved her standing up from me and to be honest, she kept her promise.
"Our family comes first and it will always be my first priority."
Our family. Could I fall more deeply in love with her?
"Don't you think it was a bit much?"
"I think he was lucky. I wanted to wreck his car and kick his ass, probably give him a permanent tattoo in his forehead to teach him a lesson but Puck and the guys just wanted to see his naked ass and I promised you that I wouldn't touch him, right?"
I don't know if I should be scared of slightly amused by the thoughts running through her head. I choose to be amused and laugh at her ideas instead, it's not like I'm going to let her get in anymore trouble from here on.
"It was a bit much."
"You liked it."
"I did not!"
"You were soooo enjoying it."
"I wasn't!"
"Then you should be giving me the eyebrow right now."
"The eyebrow?"
"The infamous Fabray eyebrow, you only do that when you're upset or you're about to give hell and I'm not getting it, so you enjoyed it, my lady."
"Ass."
I roll my eyes and start walking. I can't let her know that I actually enjoyed her little act of rebellion and especially when she did it to protect me but she catches up with me in no time, she takes my books from my hands and smiles fondly.
"But I'm a cute ass." She shrugs and I laugh at her bluntness.
"It was a bit much." I tell her again and this time she takes a deep breath and nods, once.
"It was but he deserved it and you know it."
"You're going to get expelled when Figgins finds out."
"No, I'm not."
"He's going to tell who did this to him and his mom is going to be very angry, he's her baby."
"He's not going to tell anything, even he is not that dumb, don't worry about it."
"What did you tell him?" She stops walking and looks at me with a serious expression on her face before she caresses my face with her fingers.
"I told him that if he ever messes up with my family again, he would wish to be naked on the school's hallway."
When she cups my face I'm sure she's about to kiss me and there is nothing I want more than that kiss right now. She leans in and I lose my breath but her lips press against my forehead and a smirk takes over her features when she pulls back and I open my eyes.
"Ass." She laughs and I hate that I love this bad side of hers so much.
"Ass." She says again right in my face with a playful tone and handing me my books but I can play as well.
"I'm a beautiful one I've heard."
"You're the best I've seen, babe."
She kisses my cheek and walks down the hallway before I have the chance to say anything back or see the reaction that her little games have on me but damn if I hate these hormones that make me want to run behind her and lock her in the janitor's closet with me!
Class Fabray, you have English class, focus.
…
Thank you for all your reviews and I'm not trying to make Finn a hero here but I am trying to be considered and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that, that being said thank you for reading and reviewing and yeah, keep doing it :).