Disclaimer: I don't own Skins. I do own a copy of the DVD and book.

Summary: Ten years later; Naomi and Emily and friends, best friends. They've moved on from their relationship in college, have new loves and new lives that mix regularly. But when things change for the people around them, they find themselves pushed together in more ways than one.

Author Notes: Did nobody get my Mandy reference? :-O I'm shocked! Mandy, yes, THAT Mandy, works with Naomi. ;-) Also, HUGE THANKS to Smasual on Twitter for giving me the inspiration I needed to complete this chapter. Thanks to everyone for the reviews.

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Felt It All Before

The bed moved on either side of her until the mouth had taken over her face and neck, a hand stroking back the locks of her red hair and a scent so strong that Emily's head felt a little woozy. It was wrong, it was always wrong, but she couldn't stop the desire that made her push her fingers into Naomi's underwear until there was nothing left but rapid breaths and a need to curl up in her arms.

'Why does this feel so right and wrong at the same time?' Naomi whispered.

Emily frowned, twirled a piece of Naomi's hair around her finger in contemplation. She wanted to argue, to tell her that it wasn't wrong just everything it needed to be, but even Emily couldn't deny their wrongdoing. Instead she silenced her with a kiss.

'That won't stop me from wanting to discuss this you know,' Naomi muttered, her lips curling in a seductive smile.

Emily rested her head on Naomi's bare chest and stared up her body into the blue oceans of her eyes. 'Do you know how much that grin makes me want you?'

Naomi raised an eyebrow, a look of 'I know' in everything but words. Emily rolled her eyes, rolled herself onto her back and stared up at the ceiling of her spare bedroom. The first time Emily suggested her house, Naomi had been reluctant. But the high level of risk only made it more exciting.

'Sixteen days,' Emily sighed, reaching for Naomi's fingers, interlinking them between them on the bed.

'I don't know what we should do,' Naomi told the ceiling.

'I don't know what we should do either,' Emily mumbled.

'I don't want to hurt Al, Ems. He's been good to me, he's a good man. And Joel…'

Any mention of Al or Gabriella was usually brief and though it hurt to think about the problems they were causing by being there together, in bed, sharing the most intimate of acts; Emily never felt as guilty as she did at the mention of Naomi's son.

'Don't,' she whispered, unlocking their fingers and turning onto her front, staring across the pillow at Naomi.

Naomi breathed in and out deeply, an action laced with frustration. 'I'm in love with you Emily.'

'What?'

The words made Emily sit up and listen. They'd talked about their feelings, about how they felt something more for each other. Emily had told Naomi again that she loved her. But up until then, Naomi had remained in a place where love wasn't part of the issue, just desire.

Naomi closed her eyes, reached a hand out to Emily's face and stroked the soft skin of her cheek. Emily bit her lip, rested a hand over Naomi's and held it there. She couldn't breath, waiting for Naomi to speak again was like waiting for someone to shoot a bullet through her chest.

'It all fell into place Ems, last night I was lay in bed and Al, he wanted to have sex. But all I could think about was you. I love you so much that right now, it makes it hard to breath.'

The moment should have been one filled with love, of Emily wrapping her arms around Naomi's neck, pressing their lips together until they needed to pull away just to return their bodies to a state of normal. Instead Emily returned to lying down and they lay there, in silence, not even touching as the realisation of their betrayal finally hit them.

*

The yellow house was looking duller than ever. Naomi stayed seated in the car, watching the chipped paint of her childhood home. She missed the simple life, where drinking tea with Gina was the highlight of her day after arriving home from school. But it hadn't always been simple, she had to remember that because simple was a word no one would have used for her later teenage years. She'd fallen hard for the one person she least expected; a girl, her friend, someone who broke down her defences. It took her years to rebuild them only to have them knocked down once more years later, except this time there was a small child sitting in the back of the car and a husband working 'til late.

'Where we?' Joel asked, kicking his legs with frustration at being stuck in his seat in an unmoving vehicle.

Naomi smiled in the mirror, turned to unbuckle her son's seatbelt and allow him free roam of the car. His question abandoned for a small, red fire truck that had been lost under a seat.

'Come on Joe, we're going to see Nana Campbell.'

'Want to play cars,' he moaned, picking up a second vehicle from the floor.

Picking up a third vehicle, Joel stood pouting at her until she responded. 'We can take them inside.'

The house looked even more warn from up close, the doorbell didn't seem to work after Naomi pressed it three times. In the end she knocked, her action repeated by the little boy chatting to himself in her arms.

'Naomi,' Gina spoke from the, now open, doorway. They didn't need to talk, to discuss why she was there. Naomi reminded herself to thank her later for not prying, for being the mother she always had been and for waiting for Naomi to go to her with the problem.

Instead they walked into the house, Gina filled the kettle and they sat down at the same old table in the kitchen, mugs of tea between them like the old days. Naomi stayed silent, merely drank her tea whilst Joel and Gina talked about the cars in his hands. She watched, regretfully, remembering the last time they visited several months ago, a time when her son couldn't even talk.

'Life doesn't always turn out how you expect, does it?' she finally asked, noting how good her mother was with her grandson. Better than his dad sometimes, she thought, before hating herself for it. Al is a good man, a good father.

'Life very rarely turns out that way,' Gina replied, taking out an old cookie jar that Naomi had almost forgotten existed. Joel's eyes lit up and he started chewing on the ginger nut, racing his cars up Gina's leg from the floor.

'I think my marriage is over.'

'Okay.'

The least likely of responses, yet somehow the most expected. Gina was a woman of few words sometimes, she listened and didn't rush ahead with questions or suggestions, never told it how she saw it, just let the words wash over the situation. Which, Naomi realised, was usually what she needed. She hadn't had chance to say the words out loud and now that she had, they felt more comfortable than the fear of saying them.

'It's not Al's fault, I don't know what to do mum.'

Gina simply smiled, reached a hand out and cupped Naomi's. 'Sometimes the answers are right there in front of us, we just need to find the things that make them stand out.'

Naomi sighed. 'I don't want to hurt Al, I don't want Joel to have to go through this.'

'The fear of changing things can often be worse than the reality, the things that step in your way don't need to be holes in the ground, they can be bridges to cross.'

A small laugh escaped Naomi's lips, she shook her head and took a large mouthful of tea, which she noted to ask Gina for the brand later so she could buy some more.

'Always full of words of wisdom,' Naomi sighed. 'But what does it all even mean? How do holes and bridges make me decide if I should end my marriage or not?'

'That depends,' Gina shrugged.

'On what?'

'On if she's worth it, again.'

*

'You and Naomi?'

'Yes.'

'Naomi Campbell?'

'Yes, Katie,' Emily sighed, rolling her eyes with frustration. 'Keep your voice down. I don't think the man by the door heard you.'

'Fuck Ems, you sure know how to ruin your life, twice.'

'Thanks a lot Katie,' Emily snapped. 'I'm asking for your fucking advice. Not a lecture.'

'I don't know what you expect me to say? I've lost my husband and you're telling me you're risking losing the girl you're fucking going to marry for someone who didn't seem to know if she was gay or straight at seventeen let alone now.'

The tone of Katie's voice made Emily want to cry. She was already feeling bad enough, guilty enough; she didn't need someone to tell her what she was doing was wrong. She just needed someone.

'I don't love her Katie, not like I used to,' she whispered, the wind knocked out of her sails. 'I love Naomi and I want to be with her.'

'But you're too gutless to tell Gabs, you're fucking tapped in the head. What is wrong with you?'

'Stop this Katie, please,' Emily cried. 'I don't know what to do, I want your advice, not your fucking inner bitch.'

She couldn't handle being judged, being portrayed as someone who was breaking someone else's heart. She knew what she was doing and she knew it was wrong. Naomi knew it was wrong too. But even the things that weren't right, were things that needed to be discussed. Emily had met Katie in the café to avoid the prying eyes of small children, parents and/or partners. She'd been searching for clarity, not criticism. But mostly she just wanted her sister to be the bossy cow she used to be, at least then she wouldn't have to make the decision herself.

'I don't know what to do Katie,' she begged, pleaded.

Katie stood up, dropped a fiver onto the table and stared down at Emily. 'My husband committed suicide just over a month ago and I think I might be fucking pregnant. I don't have time to think about myself right now because I have to think about the girls, so excuse me if I tell you to grow the fuck up and make your own decisions. You're an adult Emily, Naomi has a fucking husband and son, it's not college anymore. Real people will get hurt, so make a decision and make it quick, before the whole thing blows up in your faces and leaves you both so fucking alone that you wonder how you're going to get through the next day, let alone the rest of your fucking life.'

Katie's words felt like a slap in the face. Emily barely had time to process each part before Katie had left the café.

I'd quite like YOU to choose what is going to happen out of these options:

A) Emily and Naomi decide to stay with their partners. (wonder how many people will choose this one?)

B) Emily and Naomi decide to split up with their partners.

C) Emily and naomi continue to see each other and end up getting CAUGHT by their partners.

Vote now. :-)