i hope you like it!!

CH10JPOV

I drove off from Bella's school with her arms clutched tightly around my waist and her chest pressed against my back. It was perfect; to feel so free with the most amazing woman I've ever known. I couldn't help but notice that she was hesitant to get on the bike with me though. I thought she liked to ride, after all the time we spent together learning how. Maybe she was just a little nervous from her last fall; it was a pretty bad one. But I would never let anything hurt her, and I hopped she knew that.

I took the long way back to her house, savoring the moment with her so close. The road went through the country parts of Forks, there were hills and curves. As the bike swerved through the curves of the road I could feel her relax. The moment was perfect, almost serine. These were the moments I loved, not fighting, no questions, not acting out of instincts, just quiet and peaceful. But hey, I was part animal and peaceful wasn't always accomplished. But she cared for me enough to get though that. What I believe, is when not every moment is peaceful you can really enjoy them when they come along. They become more cherished and more meaningful when they don't happen all the time. I also didn't mind when the animal side came you…those times are fun, hey I am a man.

I parked the motorcycle in her drive way and walked it to a stop. Bella's arms unwrapped themselves from my waist and it seems the peace went with it. I took off my helmet and turned around to her when she didn't get off the bike. Her helmet was still on and she was just looking at me, but I felt that it wasn't at me, but through me. "Bella?" my voice destroyed the silence. She didn't answer, I was getting worried. Oh God, did she go into shock! I should have known that ridding was a bad idea since her last crash.

I reached my hands out and gently pulled the helmet off her head, her face showed little expression. But the expression it showed made it look like she saw a ghost. Her eyes were fixed behind me, her pupils covering almost her whole iris and the little color she had seemed to slowly drain. I knew that look all too well. It was the same look she had often in her 'zombie' days, when she was thinking of him. She thought I didn't notice when she would zone out completely, but I did, I knew almost all her facial expressions. And sadly, this was one I knew all too fucking well.

But I would stay in control, I won't lose it. "Bella…" I said gently again, I had to be patient with her. But she's seemed so fine lately. She still didn't turn her eyes on me, still looking behind me as if he was there. I almost thought he was till I remembered I would have smelled that acidic sweet scent they have. I clenched my fists "Isabella!" I practically yelled. Her face turned to me in an instant and realization and shyness flashed though her eyes. The shyness that someone would have for being caught staring too long at a lover.

Before she could speak I spoke through clenched teeth. "You were thinking of him weren't you?"

"I….I…" she stuttered trying to get her words out. She eventually gave up and looked down at her hands.

"I know you were. You have that same look on your face every time you do. That statue like expression and once you come out of it I can see the desire that flows though your eyes!" I was yelling and I knew I shouldn't, it wasn't fair to her, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry ok!" she flew off the bike and ran toward the house. Oh shit!

"Bella! Bella wait!" I jumped from the bike and threw the helmet down in the process. I was running after her and wouldn't have made it if she didn't trip going up the stairs. I reached out and got my arms around her before she could hit the ground. I pulled her up and against my chest, holding on like my life depended on it.

I could feel tears wet my shirt, "Bella, honey, sweetheart, I am so sorry" I whispered in her ear. I picked her up bridle style and sat down on the porch swing, holding her head to my chest.

"Let go of me Jacob." She muffled. She tried to push herself away from me but my grip got tighter.

"No." I whispered into her hair.

"Jacob"

"I am never letting you go Bella." I kissed her head "I am so sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just seeing you thinking about him after doing something that is 'ours'. That we spent hours doing together, just the two of us, from building to ridding. It just made me mad that we didn't seem to share that anymore. I know that he hurt you, and I need to be more patient, and control my anger. I'm sorry" I unwrapped one hand to lift her chin to look at me, her checks wet with tears, tears that I caused. I leaned down kissing her wet checks, each several times, making them dry. Her eyes closed under my touch and I kissed her wet eye lids, then lightly her lips. "Please forgive me Bells"

She opened her eyes and gave me small smile. "It's ok Jake, it's my fault, I shouldn't have thought of him, I…"

"Bella, you don't need to apologize to me. I snapped at you, it's not your fault. We're both trying as hard as we can." I said brushing my fingers across her face. "I love you" I whispered to her, she smiled back at me and kissed me softly.

"Jacob, I need to get up, Charlie will be home any minute and I need to start dinner and homework." I laughed at that, realizing my arm was still locked around her, holding her to me. I loosened my grip and she crawled off my lap, laughing with me. She walked to the door opened it and walked in. I still haven't moved, thinking she was still mad at me, when she poked her head back out "Would you like to come in?" I smiled widely and she let out a giggle as I walked quickly into her house.

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