CHAPTER 10 OF COINCIDENCNE OR FATE!
AN: you should read this because u love me … anyway… it's been a while…. And it's chapter 10 now. This is an update, all I have to say is I've been studying like crazy to keep my grades up and unfortunately I hardly have time to write at all. This makes me very said, but I will try as hard as I can to update more frequently but you know, reading mythology stuff takes a ton of time (and also trying to memorize all the gods). So anyway, enough with the chit chat, let's get on with chapter TEN!
"Just, listen, please?" You might think her voice is pleading like a regular person who wants someone to stay, but nope, her voice is very, hm, what's the word, ah yes, demanding. "Don't think for one second that I don't have feelings for you."
My head shoots up and I look right at her. With as much anger as I could manage in my body I spit out, "Because it's obvious that you like me so much. Yeah, throwing yourself onto the first man you see totally means you like me. I should've just read the signs right? I should've looked into your thoughts and I should've seen that you were thinking about me instead of thinking up a way to get his big fat dick into your pussy, because I should know what you're thinking all the times. I should know that you like me, I should take you on your word." I shake my hand out of her grip and tell her, "You should really try to stop acting like everyone is in love with you. I get it, you can get a guy to like you and now you want to show me that you can get me too. News flash, Rosalie Hale, not everyone wants you!" Okay, that seems, uh, harsh, even for me. But she deserves it. She was throwing herself on some guy when she should be throwing herself at me, right?
I don't even want to see her face. I don't want to see the look of surprise, I don't want to lose myself in those ocean blue eyes. "That's not why I told you I like you, Bella. I don't want to prove that I can have you by just telling you those words. I actually do like you. My feelings, I don't even know what to think of them. All I've been thinking about is how I want you in my arms, eating lunch with me, spending weekends with me, doing everything with me. I can't even explain why these feelings have come over me." What does she expect me to say to all this? That that's cool and I'll be her girlfriend? I certainly won't tell her that I feel somewhat the same. That's like social suicide. She could tell her friends and guess who gets humiliated. Me, of course, everyone would take her word over mine.
So, instead of confessing all the shit about her I tell her, "That's bullshit." Honestly, I can't think of anything else to say. All the things she's saying is kind of shocking. She doesn't even know how much I want those words to be true, how much I want to just give into my feelings and just trust in her, but, no, never again will I ever give into my feelings, not like last time.
"You think what I'm saying is a lie? I may be low sometimes, Bella, but I am not so low to lie about what I'm feeling just to mess with someone." Either she's a damn good actress or she's telling the truth. Who knows now a days.
Instead of saying something witty and more Bella like I say, "I can't, Rosalie, I just can't." Yup, pretty pathetic thing to say. Next thing I'll know it'll be all over the school. I can see the headlines saying "Bella Swan doesn't have anything mean to say to the royal bitch Rosalie Hale." Yeah, my life is over. I don't want to come off as a softy now. It'll be used against me. People will use Rosalie as my weakness. Shit, Rosalie will use herself to use it against me.
"What can't you do, Bella?" Every time she says my name I feel like my heart is going to explode. I've never had something like this happen to me just by the sound of someone's voice saying my name. This can't be anything, right, this has got to be the work of magic, because, you know, Rosalie's a witch.
I finally do it, I finally explode with feeling. My mouth blurts out, "I can't like you, Rosalie. I can't have a fucking crush on you, that's insane. You're a fucking girl, you're supposed to like guys like Emmett" (though I cringe of the thought of the two together) "And I'm supposed to like other guys, you know, boys, not you because you are obviously not a guy. That's supposed to make you automatically not my type. But, nope, of course my mind goes shit crazy because I am attracted to you, Rosalie." Shit, I can't believe I just said that. The part of my brain that figures out if I should fight or flight is leaning more towards flight. I honestly don't want to be here with her judging me about me liking her.
The look on her face is priceless. If I had a camera I would be taking pictures of her face. She looks shocked out of this world. Like what I had just said has made electricity go into her body and like immobilize her. Though I cannot deny how beautiful she looks with her mouth ajar.
"You're … you're attracted to me?" Oh, right, back to reality. I can't believe I just stuck my foot into my mouth. I can't believe I just told her that. I was just supposed to say things that were connected to it not being right for me to like her. Obviously I got too ahead of myself. "Holy shit, you're attracted to me. I can't believe you're attracted to me."
I can feel my face turning red. This is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I shake my head and start mumbling stuff like "No, just forget it." I mean, I can't have her knowing that I'm actually attracted to her, that's just weird. I'd rather not be in a relationship right now, especially not with her, though my imagination can go wild in my dreams, can't control any of that.
As I turned to leave Rosalie with her thoughts (Christ I feel like I do that all the time) I feel her hand grab at my wrist again. "No, I can't forget what you said. Do you even know what this mean, Bella? We can totally start a relationship." The hope in her eyes makes me want to puke and hug her at the same time. I did none of those two things.
(AN: So, I was thinking about leaving it at that, but I'm too nice and I've kept you guys waiting for quite a while, so I'll write more because I'm an awesome person who wants you to keep reading this because I love you guys as well!)
Instead I just looked at her. I can't even say anything about what she just said. So, of course what comes out of my mouth is something like, "You're crazy." My brain has obviously gone on an vacation because that is not what I wanted to say. I wanted to say something like "We can't" or "We can try but it'll probably fail, you are talking about having a relationship with me." Nope, none of those things.
"Why? Because I think we can have a relationship? Because I think we could probably work around the obstacles? Because I actually want you?" God, why does she have to say things like that? She should be a fucking public speaker, she could fucking persuade anyone!
I look away from her though, I can't let her change my mind, I don't want this, I don't want a relationship and I surely don't want it with a girl of all genders. I whisper out, "I don't want this, Rosalie, I don't want this." When did I get to sound so pathetic? So feeble?
I can feel her hand come up to my chin and raise my gaze to her overwhelmingly blue ones. Her gaze just gobbles up all of the thoughts in my brain, everything is just sucked into the blue ocean that are her eyes. "Please, Bella, please don't lie to me, and especially do not lie to yourself." She sounds so defiant, like I should be listening to the words that are coming out of her mouth. "Please, just give it a try. Give us a try, just once, please." Why does the girl who has always been head strong since I met her sound so defeated, like she knows I can't be in a relationship, like she knows I can't stand to be in another commitment. Fuck, it's like she knows everything right in this very moment.
"I just can't, I'm sorry." I shake off her hand and walk away from her. Again.
"Bella Swan, stop running away from this." The defiancy shocks me, though, really, it shouldn't shock me that much. "Will you please just listen to me for once? Honestly, I wonder if things go in one ear and out the other, you're being ridiculous right now!" I look her, I really look at her. Is she really trying to give me an order?
"No, Rosalie, you don't get it, I just can't be in a relationship right now. I don't want a relationship. I just can't!" I guess my outburst must've shocked her this time. Why can't she see that I'm not ready for this? I whisper out a little softer this time, "I can't."
Rosalie wiped away the stray tear that I hadn't noticed at fallen, then she grabbed my hands like she was talking to a small child who needed physical touch just to be soothed. "Bella, what are you scared of?"
Should I tell her? I don't even know her, she could tell the whole school. I would be the laughing stock of the school, it would be just like living in hell. "I can't tell you," is what I say instead. It's true, we're not even that close. For all that we know this could be just a lust thing and have no more other feelings.
I can her hear sigh out and say "You don't have to tell me right now, but when you're more comfortable with me you can, just please think about it." I just shake my head as a response. She doesn't verbally answer either, she just pushes her hand up to my face and brushes my lips. Rosalie then leans in to me like she's going to kiss me like that one time in the bathroom, this time though she goes through with her plan. Her soft supple lips press into mine.
The only two things that are running through my mind are "I just got my fist kiss" and "ROSALIE HALE IS FUCKING KISSING ME!"
AN: hehe, Idk I kinda like this chapter, but you know pfft. So, tell me what you think and I'll bring more!