EPISODE 10: BALLADS
Will Schuester walked into the Choir Room the second the bell rang. He wrote the word "Ballads" on the whiteboard. As he smiled and turned around he asked the question," What is a ballad?"
"A ballad is a love song." Kurt said confidently.
"Well... a love song is a ballad, though a ballad is not a love song. A ballad is an emotionful song. A song full of emotion and feeling, whether it's love, or hate, or even jealousy." Will explained. "So this week, we're pairing up because there is a new rule, we must sing a ballad. You're gonna have to look them straight in the eyes and sing what you feel."
"I'm doing one with Quinn." Finn called.
"No, the fates will decide." Will smiled.
"Matt's out though, they found a spider in his ear." Santana said. Everyone seemed disgusted by this.
"I'll put my name in." Schue smiled as he wrote down his name and slipped it into a hat. "Pick your partners guys."
Puck pulled his card out first. "Mercedes."
Next was Finn. "Kurt. Wait, I can't do this with another guy."
"The fates have spoken." Will laughed as he sent Finn back to his seat.
Next was Tina,"Other Asian?"
The Glee kids went on finding out who their partners were. "Okay, so who's mine?" Will asked rubbing his hands.
"Me." Rachel said happily. She trotted up and stood next to her teacher. He protested, but lost his protest.
"So what kind of songs would be acceptable as a ballad?" Finn asked.
"Me and Mr. Schue will show you. Can I get Endless Love in B flat." Rachel said still smiling.
"Are you sure that song is... appropriate?" Will asked, but the music had already started. As they sung Rachel looked wonderstruck in his eyes. She thought about his cuteness the whole song. All the kids were thinking about things they love, actually.
"I love the days when I go commando, no underpants. Can't get wedgies either." Puck thought.
"I love Finn, he's so cute." Kurt thought smiling at Finn. Finn hadn't noticed though, he was staring at Rachel's butt, which he loved. He started to smile until he realized Quinn was looking at him, so he shifted his gaze away. All these kids did love something, which may be inappropriate. However, Rachel's love was just as dangerous as inappropriate.
-GLEE-
"God, I miss the polyester firm support of my Cheerios uniform. It hid my baby bump perfectly," Quinn thought as she looked the mirror in front of her.
"The dress looks good. Your father is going to be so proud of you," Quinn's mom said taking a drink.
Quinn's mom struggled with the zipper.
"I had a really big lunch," Quinn lied.
She looked at her daughter doubtfully but said, "No worries, sweetie. I'll take it to the tailors to air it out a little."
"Judy, Glenn Beck is on!" Quinn's father announced as he walked in the room. "Oh, look at you," He said as he gazed at his daughter.
"Oh daddy, stop it."
"I'm upset that I've seen you now," He laughed.
"Oh stop it, it's not like we're getting married," Quinn played along.
"Speaking of getting married, how's that boyfriend of yours? I want to meet him. Invite him over for dinner on Sunday," Quinn's dad ordered.
Quinn nodded.
-GLEE-
Rachel walked through the crowded halls holding a pink box. She smiled and sung Endless Love silently to herself. As she reached the spanish room she found only one person, Will Schuester. She sat next to his desk and admired his cuteness for one moment until he looked at her oddly.
"Hello?" He asked weirdly.
"I just wanted to thank you for doing a ballad with me." She said staring at his biceps.
"Your welcome." He retorted before turning to his sandwich. As he took a bite he looked over, Rachel was still staring at him. "Anything else?"
"I bought you a present." Rachel said pulling it out of the box. "It's ginch-gonch briefs with stars. I know you like briefs because when the Glee Club wedgied you, that's what you were wearing. And stars are kind of my thing, so you can wear it and think of me." The briefs were red with yellow stars, not Will's usual plain white briefs, but oh well.
"Thanks, can I eat now?" He asked irratedly. She waved goodbye and left the room happily.
"It always starts with underwear." Will though to himself. "Susie Pepper gave me Pepper Boxers for the same reason. She was so terrible. Calling in the middle of the night and such. I can't go through that with Rachel. Hey, atleast I can wear these undies."
-GLEE-
Kurt and Finn sat alone in the auditorium as they looked at eachother awkwardly. "Sing to me everything you feel." Kurt smiled in awe.
"I can't." Finn stated.
"Yes you can.." Kurt encouraged.
Finn stood up and threw his chair. "I can't okay! I'm tired of people telling me what to do!" Finn paused for a moment to calm down. "I-I'm sorry. You're pretty cool Kurt, I'm just having problems."
"Girl's are your problem." Kurt said.
"Not to mention this baby." Finn muttered.
"Sing to your daughter then. Sing your ballad to her." He suggested.
Finn took him up on his offer. That night he pulled out the sonogram and sang. He sang loudly as he felt disappointed in himself. As he sang and went through all emotions for his daughter, he stopped when he heard footsteps.
"Finn, are you singing to a sonogram?" His mother asked sitting next to him on the bed. Finn looked at her and tried fighting back his tears. "Is Quinn... pregnant?"
Finn broke down in tears and fell into his mother's lap. "I'm sorry." He repeated over and over. Millons of tears fell from his eyes as he thought of how disappointed his mother probably felt in him.
"It's okay." She comforted. "Everything will be okay." Finn still continued to cry as she hugged him.
-GLEE-
Finn stormed away from his girlfriend and ended up in the auditorium. Kurt sat their waiting for him smiling, Finn approached and sat down, very angrily.
"Everything ok?" Kurt asked.
"Just Quinn. I have to meet her parents and there's all this stuff I have to do. She won't tell her parents about the pregnancy." Finn vented.
"Kinda makes you want to give up women all together." Kurt said half-joking.
"Yeah." Finn laughed awkwardly. "I need to find something decent to wear. Quinn told me I need to wear something nice. You're into fashion, can you help me later?" Finn asked.
"Sure Finn." Kurt smiled.
"A night with Finn, Amazing!" Kurt thought to himself, he remembered the first time he met Finn.
9th Grade.
Kurt was officially in high school, and he felt fabulous. No more junior high loser, a fresh start. As new happy thoughts came into his mind he felt his face smack a locker, and his tight purple briefs squeeze his ass tighter and tighter. As he cried out in pain he could feel every happy thought of his high school future fade away. Suddenly his bikini briefs were let go of.
"Let go, We're gonna be late to class." Finn said to Puck. Puck was delivering a wedgie. Puck rolled his eyes and followed Finn.
-GLEE-
"Thanks for coming over Kurt," Finn stated.
"No problem, but what exactly are we doing in your basement?" Kurt said, slightly disgusted.
"Oh yeah um, well my mom never really had the heart to throw out some of my dad's old stuff," he replies opening a box.
"My dad is the same way about my mom. He um actually still has her toothbrush on the holder by their sink. Their broken dresser in their room still smells like her perfume. I know it's stupid but sometimes I go in there and just open all the drawers and smell her," Kurt said.
"That's not stupid at all," Finn responded, smiling.
Kurt returned the smile and then exclaimed, "What's this?"
He dug his hands in the box and pulled out a dark blue suit jacket.
Instantly, Finn tried it on. "Not half bad," Kurt said examining Finn. "It really brings out your eyes."
Finn looked at the floor in this moment of silence.
Wanting to change the subject, Kurt said, "We need to find a matching tie."
Finn agreed and they began looking through the old box. They found nothing. "What about here?" Kurt said as he found an old chest.
They opened the chest to only find a few items.
There were some boots, a camo helmet and a pair of-
"Tighty whities?" Kurt said confused, holding them up.
In his head, Finn flipped out. How could a pair of his underwear ended up there? Wait a sec, those weren't his. There was no brand name on them.
Finn grabbed the briefs and looked at the tag. All it said written in black marker was the word lucky. Kurt noticed this and asked, "So, are these your lucky undies, Finn?"
Finn laughed and replied, "No, these must've been my dad's."
"Well, go on. Try them on. See how they fit," Kurt persisted.
"What?" Finn asked puzzled. "No way!"
"Why not?" Kurt wondered.
Finn blushed slightly red. "Cause dude, I don't wear tighty whities," Finn said, stretching the briefs out, accidentally flinging them onto Kurt's head.
"C'mon Finn. We both know that's not true," Kurt said, removing the underwear off his head.
Finn looked at him confused.
"I know you wear briefs under your boxers, Finn." Kurt said simply.
"Uh how?" Finn responded awkwardly.
"I saw you in them, directly after my first football practice," Kurt told.
Finn remembered perfectly.
"So, why not tell me you knew?"
"You seemed to be trying so hard to keep it a secret so I'd just thought I'd leave it be," Kurt explained.
"Well, thanks. You're really cool, Kurt," Finn smiled.
"Ok, so come on and try these on!" Kurt laughed as he tossed the briefs back onto Finn's face.
"Why? There's no point," Finn said.
"Yes, there is. You've been telling me all week you wish you had the bravery to tell Quinn's parents the truth. Well prove it. If you're brave enough to try on these tighty whities and wear them tonight, then you're brave enough to tell them the truth," Kurt told. "Plus, it may bring you good luck," Kurt added.
"I guess you're right," Finn said, messing with his belt buckle.
He quickly dropped his pants revealing his black boxers.
"Umm Kurt," Finn began.
"Oh!" Kurt said turning around.
Finn slipped off his underpants and put on his father's lucky white briefs.
Finn looked at himself in the mirror and said, "They look alright, right?"
Kurt immediately turned around.
His jaw nearly dropped. Finn's legs looked delicious and his butt oh his butt.
"They look... Uh yeah they look fine," Kurt said, deepening his voice.
"But how do they feel? Not too tight?" He asked.
"Nah, it's ok. I like em' tight," Finn responded before thinking.
He turned red as he grabbed his jeans.
Kurt started to make his way back upstairs, "Well call me later and you better be wearing those Hudson."
"Oh, I will!" Finn promised.
-GLEE-
"Ok, yeah Tina, sounds good," Mercedes said, hanging up.
"What're you doing? We are supposed to be rehearsing," Puck said, frustrated.
"I know, I know but there's so much baby drama going on that noone can focus on their ballads which is why everyone is singing a ballad to Finn and Quinn," Mercedes replied.
"What? I'm not singing to them. This is garbage!"
"Why not?" Mercedes questioned.
"Because it isn't fair. Finn gets everything. The support! The girl!" He shouted.
"And what's wrong with that?" Mercedes asked.
"Finn isn't the father! I am," Puck vented.
Mercedes was shocked. She looked down and walked over to Puck.
"Listen, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick. You may be the baby's daddy, but it takes a hell of a lot more to be a father. And that role has already cast by Quinn so stay out of that girl's life cause you've ruined it enough already!" Mercedes yelled.
-GLEE-
"Mmm. Lovely ham," Finn mentioned before taking a bite.
"Why thank you," Judy smiled.
"So Finn, Quinn tells me you're the quarterback. You know, I used to play myself back in my years at Mckinley," Quinn's dad bragged.
"Oh really?" Finn said surprised. "What position?"
"Wide receiver. But it wasn't the popularity or all the girls that was my favorite part of high school. It was the fact that I had complete control of everything and everyone. I mean, at any time, I could give someone a slushie facial or wedgie," He stated.
Quinn laughed. "Daddy, you gave people wedgies?"
"Why of course. It's McKinley high tradition to give the nerds a wedgie by their tighty whities. I'm sure Finn has given a few. Am I right?" He looked over.
"Uh, yeah. I have," Finn admitted.
"Excuse me," He said getting up and going to the bathroom.
"Dude, I don't know if I can do this," Finn said, talking into the phone.
"Relax. Just remembered what we practiced. Are you wearing your father's underwear?" Kurt asked.
"Uhhh yeah," Finn said as he double checked.
"Then you'll be fine. Just remember-"
"I have to go. They'll think I'm pooping," Finn interrupted.
Finn left the bathroom and walked into the dining room, stereo in hand.
He played the music and sang to Quinn. It only took a minute before Quinn's dad noticed the underlying message from the line 'You're having my baby'. He got up and unplugged the device.
"Pregnant?" Quinn's father asked.
"Daddy, I-I'm so sorry!" Quinn pleaded.
"I'll deal with you later." He said turning to Finn. "You in my office, right now!"
Finn gulped as he followed Quinn's dad into the office that smelled of Coffee and Mahogany. His father sat him on a leather love seat and sat next to him. "Mr. Fabray.. What are you gonna do to me?" Finn asked expressing extreme fear.
"I always wanted a boy, you know. But with Quinn there was a couple punishments I could never use. One of them was spankings." Mr. Fabray explained. "Hike yourself up on my lap here, or I'll do it by force."
Finn let out a deep breath as he set himself up ready for the horrible pain. He cringed as he felt Quinn's father slowly pull down his jeans, as Finn hadn't worn boxers over his briefs. As his pants were now at his mid-thighs Quinn's dad let out a chuckle. "Briefs? Hah, forget the Spanking I'll recall my high school days, you're getting a wedgie."
Finn almost hopped up but Mr. Fabray had already grabbed ahold of Finn's briefs and began pulling. Finn winced as the briefs began to reveal his ass as well as burn it. He heard the ripping sound and his heart dropped. He forgot the pain for a moment and thought of how these were his father's. He finally stopped and Finn jumped right off his lap. As the front of him was the only part still covered by his briefs he quickly snatched his pants back up. "Finn, that was the first wedgie I've ever given to a jock when I wasn't horsing around. Now let's go." Mr. Fabray smiled as he marched away with Finn in tow. "Quinn, you too!"
"Dad!" Quinn begged.
"Mr. F, punish me if you want but she's your daughter." Finn yelled.
"Don't you use that tone. She isn't my daughter either... I don't know who she is. So Quinn, Get out." He commanded.
"Mom, please!" Quinn yelled. Quinn's mom didn't say a single word, out of fear of her husband. Within two minutes Quinn was out of the house.
"Come back for your stuff tomorrow!" Her father screamed slamming the door.
As the two entered Finn's house minutes later they immediately walked down to the basement where his mother was doing laundry. "Finn, Please turn your tighty whities the right way out." She called. As she saw Quinn walk downstairs she threw the briefs behind her. "Sorry I didn't know you had company." As Quinn began to cry Finn took a deep breath and began to speak, but his mother spoke first. "Did she get kicked out?"
"Yeah." Finn frowned. "Can she please stay here."
"As long as she wants." She smiled.
-GLEE-
Rachel walked up to Mr. Schue and put down a vase filled with flowers. "Mr. Schue. I have a ballad to sing." She said softly.
"Rachel. This relationship in your mind will never happen. I'm sorry just... don't sing your ballad." Mr. Schue said sternly and firmly.
"Mr. Schue." Rachel spoke. "I was going to sing 'I'm Sorry' by Elton John. I know you like his music. Because I really feel sorry."
"Oh. Well Rachel. I accept your apology." He smiled happily. "Thanks for understanding what was happening. And how it was inappropriate."
When the words met her ears Rachel smiled.
"By the way, the briefs you got me? Comfiest pair I own." Will smiled.
-GLEE-
"So they kicked her out? Just like that?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah," Finn replied.
"I'm sorry. I guess my plan kind of sucked," Kurt apologized.
"No dude. It's not your fault and it's for the best," Finn responded.
"Ha, I guess your dad's briefs didn't bring you much luck," Kurt said, laughing.
"You can say that again," Finn mumbled as he remembered the burning and tearing of the tighty whities.
"What was that?"
"Uh I said, what's your ballad?" Finn asked, changing the subject.
"It's... I honestly Love you," Kurt announced.
Finn thought if he had ever even heard of that song when Mercedes walked in.
"We need you two in the choir room," she said.
"What is this even about?" Finn asked as he took a seat next to Quinn.
"Just listen," Mr. Schue instructed.
The rest of the club began to sing Lean On Me; however, both Quinn and Finn noticed something by the end of the performance. Quinn noticed Puck's adorable charm and Finn noticed Kurt's wandering eyes.