A/N: Konyanyachiwa, Minna-san! O-genki desu ka? Watashi wa genki desu! Yatta! Chapters 1-9 have received a fairly good amount of reviews, and I'm very grateful to all of you readers who left feedback! A super-huge "Arigatou gosaimasu!" to Amayou, who has given me a wonderful critique, and has also encouraged me to write what I like best: lemons, limes, and yaoi:cries: Thank you oh-so-very much! Now, I promised you lot some Hatsuharu in this chapter, and so it shall be! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fruits Basket aka Furuba. Takaya Natsuki-sensei does, and I worship the ground she walks on.
WARNING! This work of fanfiction is rated M for a purpose. It may contain traces of lemons, limes, yaoi, and/or other sexual content. Proceed with caution.
Chapter 10: Solace
Sohma Yuki trudged up to his room, his heart stinging from being told that he wasn't Honda Tohru's special person. He wanted her to love him, but he had tried to convince the girl, as well as himself, that it was okay if she did not. He would always be her friend, and though his feelings for her may fade, they would never actually disappear completely.
Sighing heavily, he plopped onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering about what would happen to Sohma Kyo, himself, and Tohru, once the time for high school graduation rolled around.
Kyo was sitting at the end of the hill he had run to when Kazuma-shishou had taken off his beads, exposing the cat's true form to Tohru. He buried his face in his hands, tears streaming down his face. Even people like Ayame and Shigure can find someone to love, Kyo's conscience spat. All they do is be themselves, and they are loved. You, on the other hand…
"Enough!" Kyo shouted aloud. "Enough…I can't…I wasn't made to interact with people. I can't expect her to love someone like me. We'll never do the things I saw in that dream…I'm cursed…different. No one can ever love the cat. No one…"
And he continued to mentally beat himself, far into the afternoon, the words going around and around in his head like a mantra:
No one can ever love the cat…No one can ever love the cat…
Tohru had prepared lunch, but Sohma Shigure and Sohma Ayame were the only ones present, aside from herself. Yuki had kept to himself, locked away in his room, and Kyo was no where to be found. Shigure had told Tohru not to worry, that the cat always ran off, and that he was "probably just off training in the woods again."
However, something told Tohru that wasn't the case, and she headed out to find the cat as soon as the kitchen and dining areas were cleaned. Shigure and Ayame headed back to the study, Ayame tugging on the writer's kimono and whispering something in the dog's ear, making Shigure twitch and quicken his pace, dragging the seemingly-ecstatic snake behind him.
As Tohru made her way out the front door, a slight flapping sound caught her attention, and she turned towards it, wondering what it could possibly be. Moving closer to the source, Tohru found herself face to face with none other than the ox of the Zodiac, Sohma Hatsuharu. He was single-handedly waving his jacket at a black car, which turned out to be Sohma Hatori's, and Sohma Kisa stood beside him.
"Onee-chan!" Kisa cried, catching sight of Tohru. "Onee-chan!"
Tohru smiled and hugged the little girl, happy to see the tiger. "Hatsuharu-san," she said, looking up at him. "Um…Kyo-kun's not here right now. Demo, I was going to look for him, if you want to come."
Hatsuharu looked at Tohru, a bit of puzzlement flitting across his handsome face before stating, "Actually, I was here to see Yuki."
"O—oh," Tohru replied, arms still around Kisa, (who looked a bit confused herself) feeling very dumb indeed.
"Onee-chan?"
"H-hai?" Tohru responded, looking down.
"When…When you come back from finding Kyo…will you watch this with me?" Kisa inquired, holding the two pink and ivory boxes that housed all eight discs of Card Captor Sakura. "It's an anime…I heard it was good. And it's popular at school…I borrowed it."
Tohru beamed at the little girl, and smiled. "Of course! Has school gotten better?"
"…Yeah," Kisa said. "I'm doing my best! Mom…And all of you, you're all here…for me. That's why I can do my best…"
It looked as if Tohru was going to pounce on the tiger and give her the biggest hug in history, but Hatsuharu picked Kisa up first, and took her into the house. He called over his shoulder at Tohru, "We'll still be here when you get back. There are a few things I need to talk about with Yuki."
So Tohru headed on down the walkway, aiming for the woods she thought Kyo would be hiding in. Kisa watched her go from her position on Hatsuharu's shoulder, a small smile on her face.
Yuki was still lying on his bed when he heard footsteps approaching his door. He knew it wasn't Kyo, since the cat never came up to his room, and Ayame would have made much more noise that his visitor was. So he rolled over, deciding that Shigure could open the door for himself.
"Yuki," Hatsuharu said, opening the door. "How are you?"
Yuki turned to face the cow, his eyes wide. "When did you get here?"
"Not too long ago," Hatsuharu replied, grinning. "I brought Kisa over so that she could spend some time with Tohru." Then his eyes darkened and a bit of a frown replaced the gorgeous smile. "But what are you doing locked up in your room? Aren't you usually outside in the garden?"
Yuki sighed. "I told Tohru how I felt."
"...And?"
"And…I'm not…the one. She doesn't love me…that way."
Hatsuharu moved over to the bed and sat down beside the grey-haired rat, a slight mix of pity and spite churning in his heart.
"Now you know how I felt, all this time," he said softly, letting a little bit of his Black side show through.
Yuki's amethyst eyes fastened onto Hatsuharu's shoulder. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that now you know what it's like not to be loved in return! To be let down by the person you chose as your own!" Hatsuharu's voice became ragged with sadness. "I told you I loved you, Yuki. I told you that you were my special person, ever since the day you allowed me to see that I wasn't as foolish as everyone believed me to be. You opened me up to see that I'm not stupid, I'm not slow…You…you cared, and you weren't arrogant like I had been taught to believe." He dropped his head and looked at the floor. "I..I still love you, Yuki. Even after you kept putting me down, even after I tried to move on…I can't. You're the only one…for..me…"
Yuki looked at his bi-color haired cousin, his friend, and smiled sadly. "I'm…Gomen nasai, Haru. I didn't…I didn't realize that I was hurting you so much. I'd always thought that maybe you were kidding around. I never really thought that you were serious about me."
Hatsuharu looked up at Yuki, the violet eyes overcast with sadness, the beautiful white skin which surrounded those eyes. He felt a twinge of pain.
"What exactly happened?"
Yuki was a tad bit confused.
"What exactly happened," Hatsuharu repeated, "when you told her how you felt?"
Yuki looked down at the blue bedspread, and recalled the events of the past two days.
"I'd…I'd rather not go over it again, really. All there is to know is that I confessed, and she…let me down. Kindly, of course, because that's just the way Honda-san is," he said at last.
Hatsuharu nodded, understanding the hurt that Yuki must have been going through.
"I'm always here for you, you know," the cow then said, wrapping his arms around the startled Yuki.
Yuki felt himself tense at first, but then he relaxed into Hatsuharu's warmth. It's been so long since someone hugged me, he thought. It really feels…quite nice. He laid his head on the cow's shoulder and slowly put his arms around Hatsuharu's waist. Yuki's heart had been hurt, it was true, by being let down, but that didn't mean it couldn't be healed. As he relaxed further into his cousin's warm embrace he thought, just maybe, he would give Hatsuharu a chance. Perhaps this person could prove to be the support he needed, his source of solace in the world around him.
A/N: Hmm…that was a bit…odd, I know. Anyway, review, review, and I'll continue to write. Thanks again to all of you out there who are my faithful readers. After Chapter 11, though, I think I'll take a bit of a break until I get at least 25 reviews. I would have said I'm not posting Chapter 11 until then, but I'll be nice, since I've already started working on it. Ja ne!
This is Tsukishiro Ayame, SIGNING OFF!