Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my original characters.

Later that evening I was leaning over the railing of the Astronomy Tower. I came up here after I was done with my razor. I don't know why I went here; I just somehow ended up here.

Every time I closed my eyes I could hear my shrieking laughter as Sirius tried to catch me after I said that he had no charm and the ring his laughter as he ran after me. It was echoing in my head.

The memory made me filled with something I couldn't place and anger towards myself. My emotions are going haywire.

My mind is telling me to I need to cut all ties right now before anything else happens and then my heart is telling me to just give in to all my feelings even if it gets broken into a million pieces, that I'm not entirely sure I could pick up again. My heart and mind are at war with each other.

Before I came to live with the Potters, I knew exactly what was going to happen before the school year ended and I was at peace with it; I was even counting down the days. Then something changed.

Something happened to where I was feeling more than I have ever had. I was mad, frustrated, doubting my decision, and I was even feeling…happy at some points. Like this morning with Lily. The thing is I don't really know how to be happy. I also had a feeling that I really couldn't place.

Something confused me with these emotions, or rather someone did.

I sighed and looked up at the sky.

The sky was just turning a dark night blue and it looked like the moon and stars were going to come out soon. I saw something move out the corner of my eye.

I turned towards it and squinted to see it better. Someone was walking across the grass to a willow tree. It was dark and I couldn't see the persons face. I leaned a little more over the railing to try and see better with my feet on their tiptoes, my hands grasping the rail tightly. Then a voice behind me said, "Careful, wouldn't want to fall."

The voice startled me. I backed away from the railing quickly and stumbled backwards. I waited for the impact of the stone floor, but hands caught me sending sparks through me. Knowing who it was I relaxed and then pulled away from him.

"Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone?" I accused at him.

"Sounds familiar," Sirius had a crooked grin on his face and replied, "Don't you know that its ten minutes till curfew?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled down the sleeves of my sweater and turned back to see where the person went. The person had disappeared and it was too dark now to find him or her again. Sirius came next to me and raised an eyebrow.

"What were you looking at?" he asked starting to look over the railing.

"I thought I saw someone." I mumbled shrugging.

I looked at him; his hair was messy as usually and his eyes seemed to glow silver in the dark.

His arm brushed mine, sending more sparks through me, as he looked over the railing some more. I wanted him to touch me again to feel the sparks again, but I was locked in place. Than when he looked at me I turned away from his stunning gaze.

"Well whoever it was is gone now." He said and I nodded in agreement. It was silent for a moment then I finally looked at him and he was already looking at me.

I noticed that the cut I gave him, when I punched him, had disappeared. I felt emotions bubble in my chest from the memory.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" he asked his eyes never left mine.

"Just…thinking." I answered also not leaving his gaze.

"About?" He inquired. I turned my gaze away then and focused on the moon that was starting to show in the sky. I wasn't going to admit what I was thinking about, so I just shrugged while biting my lip. Then I felt his hand on my cheek and his thumb rubbed my bottom lip.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." He muttered looking at my lips. His touch was sending fireworks through my pores. I looked at his fingers and then at him.

"It's a habit." I breathed. My heart was skipping their beats at the way he was looking at me.

It seemed like he was going to lean forward but then he backed away from me muttering something under his breath.

Then I realized what was about to happen and how close I was to letting it happen. I need to control myself better.

"Come on, we need to go." Sirius said. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

I followed him down the stairs, and through the courtyard, without saying a word. The light from the full moon rising lit the way, which I was grateful; I tend to freak out in totally darkness. Once we got to the doors he stopped and turned to me, "Go on ahead, I'll see you in the morning."

I raised an eyebrow at that, but nodded. I need to cut again my fingers were twitching from the urge. He over his shoulder then back at me. He looked like he wanted to say something but the decided against it and started to walk away. I turned around too but then I turn back and ran up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Thank you." The words have been burning on my tongue since I woke up this morning.

He looked at me confused. "What?"

"I never thanked you for after the Quidditch game and staying with me after. You didn't have to do what you did-" I was cut off.

"I wanted to." He replied.

The corner of my lips turned up and then back down then I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek my lips lingering for a moment then I took a step back from him.

"Thanks."

I turned back to the castle; once I was inside and the door closed softly behind me I slide down the wall and muttered, "Heart your winning the war so far."

The next morning I woke up before anyone else in the dorm and headed into the bathroom. I stared at the bathroom mirror and sighed deeply. I had run into trouble on the way back to the common room last night. When I say trouble I mean Carrie and her fake blonde minions.

She had cornered me and we went with the usual routine like back in Beauxbatons; she finds me alone, they provoke me with their name calling and insults, I say something rude and more insulting back, then they start to get violent.

This time I got two bruise on my stomach, one on my arm, and one purple one my cheek. While I pulled her fake extensions out, gave her about three or more bruises, and bit her.

Usually I never get to violent back but I lunged at her first before her minions got me off her, and right before I gave her a black eye.

So now I'm in the situation of having a big purple bruise completely visible on the right side of my face and staring at my reflection in the mirror thinking I'm completely screwed. Lily will make a huge deal and so will James and Sirius. I don't know which of the three is worse; they all have horrid tempers, but hey I have a temper myself.

I could hide it with my hair or something.

No, that wouldn't work.

I could probably cover it up with a spell or charm. I ranked my brain for one but came up with nothing. I need to go to the Library.

I could find a charm by lunch but that would mean skipping Defense Against the Dark Arts aka my favorite class. I closed my eyes and imagined going to class and Lily, James, and Sirius seeing the bruise or going to the Library and missing all the questions and yelling.

I opened them and stared at my refection again.

"Yep, Library it is." I told it, and thank god it didn't answer or even object.

Sorry it took so long to update, please review!