A/N:I'm not going to pretend this fic is at all accurate so in the world where it takes place, Home Alone was filmed sometime during the 1980's and the actors I mention are really old. Also, I skipped the sorting hat's song. SO SUE ME.
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The One with the Awkward Waves
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
Hermione sat on her chair in the Great Hall, more tense than she had ever been before. The large doors opened up and in walked Neville Longbottom, followed by numerous eleven year olds. As they went past the other students it was almost like Neville was looking more nervous than the first years. Hermione turned to look at Professor McGonagall who didn't look completely comfortable sitting on the Headmistress' chair. For how long had she been the one to lead the anxious children towards the Sorting hat? Hermione shook her head to avoid thinking about the late Headmaster. After the war, it had been Professor Flitwick's role and now it had been temporarily passed onto Neville Longbottom. Who was currently looking like he might throw up as he waited for the Hat to finish its song.
Hermione had always listened carefully to the Sorting Hat's lyrics but this night, she found herself deep in thoughts instead. After breakfast she went straight back to her room. She'd spent the day reading every number of the Prophet, going three weeks back. To her disappointment, her search for a clue, any clue, had been in vain. It was impossible to find anything that could be traced to Flitwick's disappearance, the Order or the remaining Death Eaters. She wanted to do something but she didn't know what. And now the students had arrived. Hermione wouldn't be going anywhere soon.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
The Gryffindor cheered like their lives were at the stake when a blonde first year headed for the table. Happiness took over the look of fear in her face.
"Lucius Horn," Neville called. Hermione flinched at the name. A few seats away from her, she saw Malfoy smirking. Family name, he mouthed to her. She watched as the blonde related-to-the-ferret 11 year old walked towards the Sorting Hat. The next scene reminded her of when Malfoy had been sorted. Lucius Horn barely touched the hat before it screamed out "SLYTHERIN". Horn walked towards the cheering table with a familiar smirk planted on his face.
More first years were sorted and Hermione drifted off. She was considering what the consequences would be if someone fell in love with a unicorn. The lack of communication would certainly be a problem, not to mention how the physical part of the relationship would work out. Some very disturbing images were growing in her head when something else caught her attention. Hermione was quite sure that McGonagall had just called up a girl named Lucy Thomson. She stretched her neck to look and yes, it was definitely her three-or-four-or-something cousin. But there? At Hogwarts? Participating in the sorting ceremony? Almost as surprising as if Ron would marry a unicorn. She would have to go say hello later that evening. Hermione's mother had obviously forgotten to mention this in her last letter. Maybe it would have taken too long to pop in the sentences "oh and by the way, remember Anthony and Rebecka Thomson from York? We met them at that large family gathering last summer. Well, turns out their youngest daughter is a witch!"
Hermione watched Lucy get sorted into Gryffindor. For a minute it looked like the hat was struggling with choosing a house for her, but her anxious expression disappeared when she walked the cheering table of Gryffindors. The last students were sorted and the Hall fell into silence as the Headmistress prepared for her annual speech.
"First of all, I would like to welcome the new first years. I hope you will all get settled in as soon as possible in your houses and then focus completely on your classes. I also have to warn you that no one is allowed to enter the Forbidden Forest. That counts for all students, despite what year you're in." Curious looks and whispers broke through the older students. McGonagall silenced them with a wave of her hand and then continued. "The teachers have together decided that because of various actions, no Hogsmead weekends will occur this term." At this point, every student in the third to seventh year started talking, booing or staring wide-mouthed at each other. Hermione herself wasn't surprised. She'd been part of the decision but she understood how the students felt. The Hogsmead trips were one of the things that let you go through a term without 6 or 7 serious breakdowns. At least that was what she had heard, Hermione herself had never experienced it. Why should she? School was fun.
"And now, to something completely different." McGonagall waited until it was quiet. "We are also welcoming some new teachers this year. Neville Longbottom, whom you've met before, is now our permanent Herbology teacher." Neville lifted his hand in a gesture that looked like it was supposed to be a casual yet welcoming wave, but ended up as an awkward twitch. "Teaching potions this year, we have Draco Malfoy." At this, Malfoy rose elegantly (at least he thought of it as such) and smiled smugly. The Slytherin table clapped their hands. "Professor Malfoy is also the new head of the Slytherin house." Now the whole Slytherin table stood up and cheered. The Gryffindors gave each other raised eyebrows and annoying glances.
McGonagall waited a few moments before continuing. "Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick will be taking some time off this term. We are fortunate to say that Hermione Granger was willing to step in as your Charms teacher during Professor Flitwick's absence." Every student rose to their feet and clapped their hands. Suprisingly enough to Hermione, that included the Slytherins even if they weren't quite as enthusiastic. War heroes weren't forgotten that easily. Hermione felt as awkward as Neville when she waved her hand as a thank you to the students.
"I believe there are no more announcements tonight." Professor McGonagall smiled. "Enjoy your supper!"
Food appeared on the tables and the noise in the hall grew louder.
Hermione was wandering down the hallway to her room. The students had all been led up to the common rooms before she had found time to say hello to Lucy so that would have to wait until the upcoming day. Hermione had left earlier than the other teachers so she could do some last minute preparations for her first classes. When she got to her door she could hear a soft knocking, sounding like someone tapping a fork to a glass. Walking in she saw a brown owl outside the window, holding what looked like some sort of paper roll. Hermione opened the window and grabbed candy from her desk and gave it to the animal. She took the roll and watched as the owl flew away into the sky. She looked down at what she was holding and was surprised to find a magazine with the word OK! printed on it.
"Ginny," she sighed while she jumped onto her bed. The girl was probably thinking Hermione needed entertainment if she would be able to survive her new job. Finding it quite stupid and unnecessary, Hermione opened to the magazine and started reading. The first pages held an article concerning children actors and what had happened to them once they'd become celebrities. Britney Spears, Drew Barrymore and that short, British actor, Daniel Radcliffe. Hermione recognized the picture of a boy called Macaulay Culkin. She recalled him being in the Home Alone movies, which she used to watch when she was a child. A thought crossed Hermione's mind after a few moments. In the films, the main character uses pranks and tricks to defend himself. But, what if someone would use it in some other way instead… As in, let's say, revenge?