Chapter 10: Lazarus again

"-octor Thorne? Doctor?"

The shout and insistent knocking woke him up, and James let out a disgruntled grumble as he straightened himself out of the armchair he'd been sleeping in. He'd duct taped the Keep Away- sign on the door for a reason.

He moved carefully around the stretcher in the confined space of his bureau. Because the door leading to the operation room couldn't swing open completely, James was forced to squeeze through. He straightened himself out while he walked to the exit door that someone was still knocking on and opened it with a barked "What?!".

Benjamin looked startled and blinked a couple times before lowering his fist. "You okay?", he asked concernedly.

The concern confused James. "What? Yes. Why?"

"Haven't been sleeping well. Checked up on you. Weren't in your room. Came here. Knocked. Were here, and grumpy." Ben's concern turned to relief, then to amusement.

The typical clipped sentences of Benjamin were tougher to parse through than normal for James' sleep addled brain, so it took him a moment to understand that the young guard had come to check up on him out of concern before he sighed.

"Ben, did you read the sign?" and pointed at the paper on the door that said: 'DO NOT DISTURB Except In Case Of Urgent Medical Attention (even then, bring hot beverage)'.

"Yes."

"And is there a medical emergency?"

"Not really."

James sighed again and rubbed in his eyes with one hand while hanging off the edge of the door with the other. "Then maybe", the doctor explains exasperatedly, "you should have obeyed the sign."

"Maybe." The New Yorker smiled innocently, unphased by the doctor's displeasure.

James had to hold himself back from slapping him on the shoulder. He clenched his fist and pressed it against his forehead in frustration.

"Benjamin."

"Yeah, doc?"

"At least, you could have gotten me some hot coffee or tea. With sugar."

Ben's smile became smug and held up the hand he'd held behind his back. "Better. Sugar with hot coffee."

James took the cup reverently. "You're almost forgiven for waking me up", he whispered.

"Apology accepted."

"That wasn't an apology, Ben", he said while eyeing him.

"Yes, it was", the young guard grinned.

James grumbled before taking a sip. Then he looked at the smug New Yorker, and asked how his head was. After being assured the boy had recovered well from being hit on the head by a whirlwind of a spy trying to escape, he sent Benjamin to bring the new guard to his door.

"Middle-aged, scars 'round his eye. You can't miss him. Also, tea and breakfast! Hang on, I'll give you my thermos. It's somewhere… right…here! Thanks, Ben!"

As Ben went to fetch what the doctor had asked with only a quizzical eyebrow, James contemplated letting him in on the secret. He couldn't shuttle between Harry and Merlin forever, and things would only be getting more complicated. He was already stretched thin.

He could trust Benjamin. He loved the boy as his own, and he thought the boy liked him enough to never betray him. Banter like just now was the norm between them, fondness shining through every word, but they could still hold a serious conversation if need be.

Yeah, he was going to trust Benjamin. Just not yet, though. The next hour or so would be strange already, even without having to fill the boy in on what was in essence Lazarus times two. Trepidation made him gulp down the coffee and hastily throw the cup away before getting to work.

James went to check on Eggsy's vitals. He had had to do without any alarm or other electronic equipment, as the equipment's piercing sounds in the middle of the night would give the game away to any who passed.

The doctor would have to make do with what he had: a watch with an arm for the seconds to count the pulse and respiration rate, a light to see if the pupils reacted well, a thermometer to check for fever or hypothermia, a small shiny object to register even the faintest breath. He couldn't even use a sphygmomanometer to record the blood pressure, as the damn thing let out a shockingly loud peep when done. All he had for a call- button was a plastic bottle placed precariously in Eggsy's hand that would fall and make noise if the boy shifted when waking up- a fallen bottle was a normal enough noise, after all.

The body temperature had risen to just below normal, he was glad to note, even though Eggsy's unlucky stay in the morgue had kept it dangerously low. Hell, if Harry hadn't mourned as long as he had, Eggsy could still have been too cold for the doctor to notice the unusual heat of his hand when he left.

He was lucky that Eggsy's pulse was strong enough to be noticed by hand at all, weak as it had been when James first looked for the heart rate.

The boy's breath was becoming stronger and more regular as well, as James could almost see his chest rising and falling if he looked hard enough.

He prepared and administered a needle full of nutrients as well to counteract two days without anything of food and drink. He had to "feed" Eggsy regularly, needle by needle, as installing a nutrient-and- saline drip to feed what should be a corpse was conspicuous- to say the least.

Even with all the positive signs, James still hoped fervently he'd used the right stimulants last night to counteract the unexpected results of the drug mix. He hoped him slaving through the night, and staying in his office holding his hand to Eggsy's pulse point would make a difference. He hoped he'd found a way to fix the whole damn mess.

The doctor gently squeezed Eggsy's wrist before laying it back by his side, underneath the blanket that covered him up to his shoulders.

"I'm hoping for a lot here, aren't I, my boy? Let's hope it's not too much", he murmured.

He took Merlin's glasses from out of their hiding spot in his lowest desk drawer. Suddenly someone knocked on the door, leaving James to hastily putting the glasses away in his coat pocket, instead of talking to Merlin first as he had planned.

Benjamin was back sooner than expected.

The knock on the OR door had James hurriedly covering Eggsy's face with the blanket. One can never be too cautious, here in this complex. He firmly closed the office door behind him as well, once he'd shimmied his way through.

He opened the door to Benjamin bemusedly carrying two breakfast plates and a thermos, an exhausted-looking and surprisingly fragile Harry standing behind him. He'd looked so strong yesterday, even when he'd been freshly tortured, but the loss of Eggsy seemed to have sunk in and taken all of it away.

Well, James decided, not for long. He thanked Benjamin and waved him off after taking over the two plates, asking Harry to come inside and close the door behind him.

"Sit", he said, "Eat. It'll be an emotional day, and I'd prefer if you've eaten and been checked before we start."

Harry ate slowly, reluctantly, perfunctorily. Even without any food for over two days- and James was kicking himself for not giving him dinner when he'd had him in the operation room yesterday- food was still a duty to him, not a joy. Grief diminished one's appetite, he knew. No more.

When breakfast was done and so was the check-up, James didn't know what to say. He looked down at his hands, which were playing with the spy glasses, searching for the best way to start this conversation. He didn't find it.

Instead, he started with what he wanted to say, even though it perhaps wasn't the best thing: an apology.

"Now I've got some news, that's very important. I'm extremely sorry I didn't tell you before, but honestly you needed your sleep and you would have been in the way. You wouldn't have left the room if you'd known, and there's not much room to begin with. I also-", he sighed, "I also didn't want to give you false hope. I hope you'll forgive me for waiting."

He took a deep breath and snuck a peek at Harry. The man looked laden down still, but intrigued and slightly apprehensive.

"I already knew that the truth drug that Eggsy's interrogators gave him had interfered with the slow-working, painless poison I gave him, and vice versa. The poison made it so Eggsy could resist giving everything away immediately, and the drug slowed down the poison. I witnessed this on security camera video tapes. But I discovered that there's- well, that the mix of drugs had a very . . . unexpected side-effect."

Harry stilled and sat up straight; James was aware of it in his peripheral vision, as he continued to fiddle with the glasses.

"The poison I administered was supposed to lower the basic body functions - respiration, pulse, temperature, etc.- until a gentle death ensued. It was supposed to make it look as if Eggsy died of shock. Instead of doing that, however, the drug made it so that the poison's effects were…lessened, giving the appearance of death but not-"

James glanced up at Harry and the look on the other man's face shut him up quickly.

Harry's face had become eerily blank, after a fleeting moment of hope so profound and desperate it rocked James to the core.

"Doctor", the man said calmly, "Be careful with what you imply. What are you saying?" Tension racketed up the man's shoulders, clenched knuckles turning white.

A chill ran down the doctor's spine. He glanced at the scars around Harry's eye and thought of the many scars he'd seen on Harry's body when treating him. He looked down at the glasses of a spy organisation in his hands.

They were proof that Harry was a lethal man.

James had been implying that Eggsy had survived. If he now had news that was anything other than that, it could mean his death. Giving Harry hope and then taking it away would be nothing short of cruel. A spy like Harry would not stand for cruelty.

Yes, Harry could probably control himself, but he was grieving, emotional and desperate. He could let his emotion get the best of him and rip the doctor apart. James did not know the man well enough to guess what he would do, he was well aware of that. He was infinitely glad, therefore, that he had good news.

"I'm saying, Harry", he said, "that Eggsy's al-".

James stopped talking. In his office, a small bottle had clattered to the floor.

Unbelieving, because Eggsy should not be conscious yet, James spoke without thinking: "Eggsy's awake?!". The doctor quickly jumped up to go to his patient.

As he squeezed through the door that was blocked by Eggsy's stretcher and threw a look at Harry, he saw that the news had startled the man badly.

He looked rather lost now, when he had looked so dangerous before. The spy had understood perfectly what James had been implying and had clearly wished it to be true, but the reality of it was still enough to take him by surprise for a moment.

The surprise passed quickly, though, and Harry launched himself at the office door. His wounds, recent malnourishment and exhaustion made the dash graceless, but desperation made him swift. He squeezed in through the door right behind James.

James was aware that he should keep an eye on Harry, but put Eggsy first for the moment. He laid the glasses on a shelf above the stretcher and took a moment to calm down before he looked over Eggsy.

James grabbed Eggsy's hand. His fingers were twitching, so were his toes. However- worryingly- nothing but Eggsy's extremities were moving. His breathing was irregular, and he blinked a lot. The boy was fighting his body's automatic reactions, as if struggling for control.

His eyes were clear, but scared and confused. He had been conscious for a while but paralysed, James reckoned, only just now able to open his eyes and move his fingers enough to dislodge the alarm-bottle. Waking up when you expected to be dead would be strange enough, but waking up unable to move must have been terrifying.

"Eggsy", he called softly and moved so Eggsy could see him without moving his head, "Eggsy. Can you hear me, my boy?".

The boy's eyes fixed on him. He blinked once, presumably a yes.

"Can you feel my hand?". Two blinks, no. "Can you move your hand?" Another no, this time, more insistently.

Never more than now did Eggsy look like James' own son, years ago: he was a scared child needing to be told that his nightmare wasn't real. My god, James thought, what hallucinations had he suffered from the drugs while under? And how much worse had the paralysation made it?

Pulling up a voice he hadn't used since his son grew up, he whispered and shushed nothings as he stroked the boy's sweat-soaked blond hair and squeezed his hand.

"I know you can't move just yet, but it'll be fine. A side effect that'll pass away quickly. You'll be squeezing my hand to bits in no time", he rambled. "Hush. You were asleep for a long time. Whatever it was that scared you, it was a dream. All a dream. You're awake now, the dream is gone. You can calm down now. We're all awake, and we're all real, and there are no nightmares here. Calm down, hush, that's it. Easy, Eggsy, easy."

He never looked away from Eggsy's terrified gaze and was pleased to see the tension in him soften to relief. The boy's breathing calmed down, and he started blinking slowly. Finally Eggsy's eyes closed, and James released his hand.

Slowly his voice trailed off as Eggsy slipped away into an exhausted sleep. Just as the doctor stopped talking, Eggsy grunted softly. James imagined it was a grunt of gratitude.

Harry had not moved since he laid eyes on Eggsy, but James heard him shift closer at the soft sound. Straightening up, he looked at Harry.

Harry was a mess. He was shaking, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. His eyes were red and puffy and his hair was sticking out on all sides- he had clearly run his fingers through them in consternation. His hands were held strangely; even though Harry had stepped closer, his hands were held up as if he was stepping back in fear.

"Harry?", James called. Harry looked at him, after a long moment of staring at Eggsy in doubt and fear.

"Is it real?", Harry asked fearfully, "Is he alive, is it real?".

James could hit himself. Harry had lived for two years believing that the boy in front of him was either a figment of his imagination, or someone from his past that he could no longer reach because he was an amnesiac. Then, in four days' time, he had been drugged, tortured and starved; immediately afterwards being informed that his dreams were real memories, but that the boy he loved was dead. And now suddenly, the kid's alive again. Of course Harry would doubt if it was all real.

Why, just a minute or two ago, the man had threatened his doctor if he dared to give him false hope about Eggsy's fate. Harry needed reassurance as desperately as Eggsy had, possibly even more.

James promised that Eggsy was alive and well- asleep now, but probably awake again very soon. Why, with any luck the paralysing feature of the drug mixture would wear off before he's up. He'd be right as rain in no time, if his current rate of recovery was anything to go by, the doctor assured the trembling man. It all sounded very much like what James had just been telling Eggsy.

Harry stumbled backwards in relief until he hit the door. He breathed deeply, once, twice. Then, he pushed himself up again on shaky legs and stood up straight.

James went to him quickly, leading him to the office chair in which he'd slept that was standing right next to the stretcher.

As Harry sat down, he took Eggsy's hand and held it up for Harry to hold. Slowly, ready to jerk his hands back – a wounded animal's twitchy movements- Harry checked his pulse. Once he felt its strength, Harry relaxed and folded Eggsy's hand between his own.

Like the day before, Harry held his forehead to the back of Eggsy's hand and kissed it. "Thank you", he whispered joyfully, voice wet and shaky with happy tears.

"My pleasure.", James responded, as he gently grasped Harry's shoulder, "Absolutely my pleasure." He had not failed Eggsy, he thought gladly. On the contrary, he had given him Harry back, and he'd damn well made sure that Eggsy would be there to enjoy it.

At that moment, James noticed a light blinking on the spy glasses up on the shelf. Considering Harry was busy reassuring himself of Eggsy's status as living, James picked up.

"Merlin?"

"James, finally! I've been trying to contact you for a while. I remembered that Harry mentioned knowing the wife of your boss. This could get you all out of there and your boss in jail, 'cause we'll be able to figure out where you are. So go on and fetch Harry and ask him what he remembers, and we'll get this show on the road!"

James was scandalized. A moment like this was bigger than something that could be done any day, dammit, this was a reunion, a tragedy averted, someone rising from the dead! Why, Eggsy was Merlin's friend too, wasn't he? Shouldn't he let a moment as amazing as this unfold for a minute, instead of dismissing it and jumping into action?

This thought stopped James' dramatic stewing. Merlin hadn't sounded dismissive.

"Merlin," he asked slowly, "are you aware of what's happened?"

"No", the Scotsman drawled suspiciously back, "I don't. What has happened?"

James took a deep breath and looked down at Eggsy and Harry. It seemed to be perfect timing, as Eggsy took that moment to sigh in his sleep and move his head from side to side, just a little.

"Jesus Christ!", Merlin swore after a short moment of silent, "Jesus motherfucking Christ. Bloody buggering bumfuck, Eggsy, you fucking prick; I will personally send your ass to Siberia till you're bloody retired, holy shit."

A long string of curses followed, interspersed with hysterical, happy laughter. Some of it sounded slightly muffled. If James could take a guess, he would say that those were the moments where Merlin was dragging his hands across his face.

The occasional sob came out too, and when Merlin could finally speak again, he sounded as if he'd been crying.

"James? Is he okay?"

"He's definitely okay", the doctor said, "He's only just woken up the first time- a bit of a scary experience, but he's fine now- and the next time won't be far behind. He had a spot of trouble with his movement, but I'm confident that that will resolve itself soon enough."

"And Harry?"

"Harry's very happy, of course. Why would you even need to ask", James wondered, confused.

"No, lad, I mean: has he talked with Harry yet?"

"No, Eggsy hasn't even seen Harr- Oh", he realized, "Shit."

"Yes", Merlin admitted amusedly, "You could say that. Congratulations, doctor Thorne. You have now the dubious honour of explaining to Eggsy how exactly he isn't dead, but then neither is the man that's been dead for two years and now holding his hand. Good luck."

Merlin signed off immediately afterwards. The prick abandoned me, James thought furiously, bloody Scottish bastard. He was gonna damn well pay for that. But in the meantime, the doctor sighed crankily, "How on earth am I gonna handle this?"

Firstly, he decided, he needed some sleep. Desperately.

CHAPTER DUMP, THREE IN ONE, LONG LIVE THE SUMMER VACATION

(also don't mind the numbers of the chapters, that's a bit of confusion from posting this at different times on both and AO3)