New Chapter! WOO! After about 10 years... So how are you all? Missed us? Probably not XD By the way as it's me writing this, me as in WOKgeotobi, I have to say there may be lots of errors as spelling is just something that hates me with a loathing passion. And I hate it, oh I hate it SO much. So if you see any bad spelling just... ignore it.

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Rocks and straighteners

"Jaaaaazzzz..." Emmett and Edward both Whined.

"Jaaaasper..."

"Jazz."

"Jazzy wazzy."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ALREADY!?" Jasper was getting annoyed now as Edward and Emmett had been doing this for 3 hours.

"Jasper Whitlock Haaale."

"WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT!?"

"Oh Jasper, the question is... what do you want?"

"I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY!"

"Don't you know what day it is today Jasper?"

"Tuesday?"

"Yes, it is a Tuesday. But what DATE?"

"February 16th?"

"And what special EVENT happens on February 16th?"

"The Lithuanian independence day?

"And what else?"

"I honestly don't know."

"I think you do know."

"No I don't."

"Yes, Jasper. You do."

"I don't."

"You do. Believe me, you do. Now think."

"I... I really don't know." Jacob burst into the room with Esme.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"My birthday? I thought we didn't celebrate birthdays?"

"Well since we've been hanging around with Jacob we decided to go to Seth's birthday party. And it was AMAZING! There were balloons. Lots and lots of balloons! And a high school musical cake!"

"I got to eat Zac Effron's face!" Emmett added in.

"And then we hit piñatas and blew out candles and there was a sleep over! It was the best thing ever. So as the most gorgeous out of everyone here I decided we are going to start having birthday parties! Starting with you!"

"I. AM. NOT. Doing it."

"We all got you presents!" Esme chirped in.

"Okay. I'll do it!" Jasper sat in the middle of the floor while the others put their present in a pile. Alice, Rosalie, Bella and Carlisle walked in.

"But if you open these you have to have a party."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Presents." Jasper reached to the top of the pile. The first one was from Esme. On it, it said 'for my 3rd favourite son'.

"Wow! Sims 3! I love you mommy!" Jasper hugged Esme.

"I love you too darling. I love Edward and Emmett more but there is still a tiny bit of love left for you."

"Open mine next!" Emmett said.

"Whats this?"

"They're wheels for my car. Just in case, you know. Your car breaks down and you need to drive mine. Just. In. Case."

"Gee, Emmett. That's such a considerate gift."

"OPEN MINE!" Edward said, exited. Jasper picked up a large box and started unwrapping it. Underneath was another box, which he unwrapped to find another box. After going through 16 boxes finally he got the final box, which was the size of a match box. He opened the final one to find nothing inside it.

"What?"

"NO! Your letting it all out!"

"Letting what out!?"

"I bought that oxygen for $20 on eBay!

"You brought me oxygen?"

"Not just any oxygen, oxygen from TEXAS!"

"Well... thank you. I guess?" Jasper went to pick up Carlisle's present.

"A rock?"

"Well, after carefully analysing humans and typical human families I have found that they have all bonded through the act of pets. But if we got a real pet it would be eaten within 3 days with you around so I have come up the perfect solution! A PET ROCK! You can play with it all day and it won't get tired, need feeding or make any mess!"

"My first pet! YAY! I LOVE YOU DADDY!" Jasper hugged Carlisle.

"Your still not my favourite son."

"Dam. Jasper opened all his other presents getting his very own hair straighteners from Rosalie, so he would stop borrowing hers. Tickets to go see Metallica with Jacob and stuff that is to dirty to mention in this fan fiction from Alice.

"Thank you everyone! I haven't felt this happy since that fat man fell over on his bike on 'you've been framed'!"

"Birthday party time! WOOOO!"

"Actually," Carlisle started, "We can't. You all need to go to mental testing classes today. And it's in alphabetical order so the Cullen's have to go but the Hales stay behind."

"So me and Rosalie stay behind?"

"Until tomorrow, yes. And you can have Jacob and Bella as well, as no one like them."

"BUT I WANT A BIRTHDAY PARTIE!" Edward complained.

"SHAME!"

"BUT I WANT..."

"BE QUIET OR I WILL MAKE EMMETT MY FAVORATE SON!"

"Okay." Edward, Emmet, Alice, Esme and Carlisle left to go be tested after about 5 minutes.

"So... who wants to have a sleep over party?" Bella asked.

"As long as we do each other's hair and makeup and watch chick flicks." Jacob added.

"I'm cool with that." Rosalie said.

"What do you think Jazz?"

"YES! LET'S MAKE THIS THE BEST SLEEP OVER EVER!"

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Please Review! Or die a terrible death! THW XXX

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Extra mini spin of story

Jasper sat at his computer, playing on the Sims.

"Hey Jasper, whatcha doing? Not that I care." Rosalie asked.

"The Sims! It's Amazing! I've made a family with everyone in this house. So far Carlisle has a job as a chef, Esme is a rock star. Edward is a school dropout but puts all his efforts into making his garden perfect. I forgot to put you and Alice as sisters so you accidently formed a relationship and became lesbians and me and Bella have a child together! Plus Jacob drowned and is now a ghost."

"Wow, that IS a nice garden Edward has there."