Chapter ten

B'lanna Torres had had enough of Harry Kim's mingled self-recriminations and fear of seeing Tom Paris. If anyone could claim to be Tom's friend, it was the Ensign and Harry had only gotten into Tom's logs on orders of the Captain. Besides, in Tom's current state he couldn't know what they had done, what they had learned. The engineer was determined not to go see Tom alone and she had to admit she really wanted to see him, to see for herself how he was doing.

The guilty Ensign was morosely pushing his food around his plate when she stalked up to him and shoved the plate aside with a bit more of a klingon snarl than she meant to give him. "Get up Starfleet."

"Go away." Harry hung his head.

"Harry, if Tom get's mad at anyone once he can understand what we all did by listening to his logs, it will have to be the captain. It was her orders. Now you sitting here sulking will not help Tom recover. You're the only one who ever accepted Tom as he was, without him having to prove a thing to you. He'll need you."

With those words, she hauled Kim off his seat and began dragging him out the door, much to the entertainment of the other occupants of the Mess hall. Kim tried to break away, but she was too strong and determined. He found himself marched down the hall towards the turbo lift. She shoved him in, called for Deck Five and turned to glare at him. "You can't abandon Tom, Harry. He's taken too much from the rest of the crew."

"That's what makes it worse!" Harry cried. "In the logs he said over and over how much I meant to him. I never knew that sometimes I was the one who kept him sane. I never knew how far the bullying, the abuse of the crew went! Now I've betrayed his trust. I was the only one who had never abandoned him. Now…"

"Maybe watching the logs wasn't right, but to avoid him because of it will only make the injury, if there is one, worse! Besides, I'm not going to see him alone. He may have lost his memory, but I highly doubt he's lost his personality. I'm going to need you to keep me from hitting him."

Harry laughed. B'lanna had hit Tom a time or two, but always in a way that seemed Klingon manners for 'you're an idiot, but you're a brave idiot'. Harry usually managed to step in and say something soothing, although he had a feeling that Tom at least enjoyed baiting Torres. If he couldn't flirt with her, he would settle on fighting with her.

They had reached Sick Bay's doors and hesitated, both steeling themselves for what would have to be a change in their friend. The door opened on command but Ayala was immediately in the way, blocking the way in, and the line of vision. Apparently, a few crewmembers had tried to gawk at Paris. Harry was ready to use that as an excuse to flee, but Torres merely leveled her gaze at the Security officer and after a moment of hard staring she apparently won, and they were allowed inside.

Tom was still in bed, thought propped up. He was weak with exhaustion despite repetitive naps. But he was currently conscious and when he saw the two visitors, he granted them a smile. Both felt instantly sad.

There was a world of innocence in that smile. The man behind the smile did not know of betrayal, did not know abuse and hatred. All that had driven Tom to conceal who he was behind his mocking wit was gone and what was left was a young man who could not dream of being given a cold shoulder. B'lanna was ready to rip off someone's head at the sudden realization that Tom had been innocent of his reputation all along, of Caldik Prime, even of being a mercenary.

"Hi Tom." Harry was the first to recover. He suddenly felt like Tom must have felt so many times with him, looking at the other man free of a damning weight while holding the weight on his own shoulders.

"Hi." Tom replied, smiling in a friendly way. He looked from Harry to B'lanna and promptly forgot there was anyone else there. This Tom did not conceal his delight in the woman. He stared at her long and hard until she was uncomfortable. Just when she was going to say something, he spoke up. "Wow. You're… gorgeous."

Every thought fled from B'lanna and it was her turn to forget that there was any one else in the room. Tom had told her she was pretty many times, his naturally social nature made him ready to offer a good word to anyone. It was impossible for her to miss his attraction. Yet he had never acted on it, accepting her cold remarks with his stupid wit, never seeming to be hurt by her attempt to drive his attraction away.

Now, to have this guileless version of the same man telling her the same thing the sardonic man had said, made her wonder if he wasn't just looking at her as a conquest. People called Tom a playboy, but Harry had once confided in her that Tom rarely actually went on a date with the women he flirted with. There was an odd sort of platonic flirting done with the Delaney sisters, who seemed to have decided they liked the bad boy appeal of Tom Paris, but B'lanna now wondered how he had gotten that reputation, considering that for months the only women who spoke to him without a sharp retort was the Captain, Kes and the Delaney sisters.

"I'm sorry if that was wrong to say." Tom spoke up, concern written on his face when she did not speak. "I can't remember anything."

"And yet," the EMH spoke up with friendly teasing, "you still manage to shock us all with your bluntness. This encourages me to believe you'll recover your memories. You're already well on your way to annoying us just for the fun of it."

"I wasn't trying to annoy her!" Tom protested. "I like to annoy you, but she's so…" he turned to look at B'lanna with rapt adoration on his face.

"Well, thanks Tom." B'lanna found her voice. She was going to have to extract a promise, on pain of Klingon rage, that this went no farther that those in the room now. Harry, influenced too much by the mischief Tom loved, had a glint in his eyes that she dreaded. "It is nice of you to say what you did."

"How are you doing Tom?" Harry jumped in.

"Well I can't remember anything so I actually don't know." Tom grinned. "But I like being able to lie here and hear the ship fly. Though I think there might be something up with the starboard nacelle. When ever the ship's course changes it doesn't feel fight."

B'lanna, who had spent the morning chasing down a blown plasma conduit that was causing havoc in said nacelle, felt surprised. Tom had often bragged on his ability to tell the ship's speed instinctively. But this was something more. If he could feel those slight nuances at the helm, it explained why he was the sort of pilot he was.

"We're working on that nacelle." B'lanna promised.

"Okay." Tom laid his head back on the pillow Kes had brought for him, suddenly looking tired. He looked ready to fall back asleep.

"Mr Paris needs rest." The EMH announced, shooing them out of the Sick Bay.

They retreated before Tom's blinking eyelids rather than the Doctor. B'lanna ignored Harry's pointed look and went to her quarters to think over what she had learned, and to wonder what could be should she accept that he did find her gorgeous.