CHAPTER TEN
Hermione woke alone. She reached her hand over to the other side of the bed to feel the blanket. It was cold. He had been gone for some time – assuming he'd come to bed at all. She looked at the clock on his nightstand. It was nearly ten. She sat up, looking around. He was nowhere in sight, or within hearing distance.
She allowed her mind to flash back to the events of last night, her finger unconsciously tracing her lower lip. Had he really kissed her? Why? And furthermore, where had he gone? Had he left to avoid her?
Hermione went about getting ready for the day. She ate some toast and drank some tea as she collected her study materials and packed herself a lunch before heading to the library. Even as she sat down with her belongings and began to study, she wondered. Where was he?
Severus strode up to the Headmaster's office. He gave the password and before long, was in front of Dumble's door. He knocked.
"Enter," came Dumbledore's calm voice.
Severus entered. "Headmaster."
"Severus. What may I do for you?"
"Albus, I… I need help." Severus was furious at himself for having to admit it, but he couldn't deny that it was a simple fact.
"Severus, I cannot undo your match with Miss Granger, you know this."
"I do not mean that… I have been doing my best to open myself to a life with the girl, but something is stopping me."
"Lily," said Dumbledore. It wasn't a question.
"Yes. Is there a way that you can…remove her from my memory? I know you have the ability, but would you be willing to do so?"
"No, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly. "Lily was the only thing that kept you tethered to goodness. I am not saying that I think you will turn back to the Dark Side if I removed those memories, but I cannot make you forget her. She was your best friend."
Severus sighed. "I understand."
"But…perhaps I can help in another way."
"How?"
"I may be able to dampen the emotions that you experience when you think of her. You will still have all of the memories, but when you think of her, it will prevent you from feeling as strongly for her as you once did. You will still remember how kind she was and what a wonderful friend she was, but you will not feel any romantic attachment to her any longer."
"Do it," said Severus. "Please."
"May I ask why you suddenly want to take these actions?"
"Because… I want to give her a chance," Severus said quietly. "The girl is kind. Good. I do not want to force her to marry someone who has no chance of letting his feelings blossom. I have begun to care for the girl. But I cannot let myself feel for her until I am sure that I feel it for her and not for her similarity to Lily."
Dumbledore stood and drew his wand. "Are you sure Severus?"
"Yes," Severus said, nodding. "I'm ready."
Dumbledore pointed his wand at Severus and began muttering softly. Snape could feel the memories of Lily being pulled to the front of his mind, where they faded in their intensity.
After several minutes, Dumbledore finished. "There," he said. "Your emotions are dulled to Lily, and you are now free to open your heart to Miss Granger."
Severus nodded. "Thank you, Headmaster." He departed the office to return home to his fiancée. And for the first time, he was hopeful.