Hello Everyone! Thank you for all the reviews and suggestions, I have a bit of a surprise in store today. I started writing and this how it turned out. Let me know what you think. Read the authors note at the end!

Lilly POV

Jon had fallen asleep in her chambers nearly every day since that undead beast attacked them. He watched her with eyes that feared she would disappear at any moment. He would sleep in the chair by the fire, while she was in the bed.

The night before however, they had both fallen asleep in the chair near the fire. She had the book she was reading still in her hands when she awoke. It was early, the sun was just beginning to peak through the window in streams of orange light. Jon's head had leaned against the top of hers in the night, he was snoring softly and she could feel his warm breath across her skin.

We shouldn't be doing this. It was immensely inappropriate. They both new this. But they couldn't sleep without the other being near. It was an unspoken need they both had. One they both haven't acknowledged. She sighed and snuggled her face against his chest, inhaling deeply. She could hear his strong heart beating against his chest. The laces that held his shirt closed were loose, exposing his skin to her eyes.

She couldn't help herself. She hesitantly loosened them further, and slid her hand flat against where his beating heart was. So warm. Her hands traveled up to trace his collarbone, and back down to the smooth planes of his chest. She was about to trail down farther when his strong hand caught her wrist.

She gasped in surprise, almost falling out of the chair. He caught her waist, yanking her back up flush against him. When she looked up, she was shocked by the look in his eyes. They were dark and hooded. She felt like his gaze was burning holes into her skin.

"I must go before someone notices I'm here." He muttered.

She nodded slowly, the spell he cast over her with his eyes still not broken. He was leaning down to look her in the eyes, their noses nearly touching. Lilly's eyes traveled down to his lips. They looked so soft. She didn't even notice she was leaning closer until she brushed his cheek with her nose. His grip around her wrist tightened, snapping her out of the trance she was in.

"I'll come to you after my chores." He whispered. Setting her gently down on her feet. She nodded mutely, holding his hand as he stepped away from her.

After he exited, some of the tension in the room had been alleviated. She felt hot. Lilly laid her head onto her pillow. When she awoke again, the sun was streaming through the window and burning her eyes. Maester Aemon had knocked soon after, requesting her assistance with reading and writing ravens.

She had begun a letter to the new boy king, when her thoughts of Jon were interrupted.

"Just what do you think you're doing child?" Maester Aemon said in a kind tone. Lilly looked up from reading the Raven surprised.

"What do you mean Maester?"

"I may be blind, but somethings I can still see." He was referring to Jon.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She replied.

"He's been sleeping in your room. Every night." Maester Aemon says.

"Yes." She says looking back down at her work.

"This is very foolish of you Lilly, if anyone finds out Jon could lose his head."

"We haven't done anything-"

"Perhaps not, but if someone catches you who would believe the two of you?" He questions. "They would find you in bed, holding each other closely."

She sighed. "I know."

Maester Aemon chuckles. "Don't sound so grim. I'm surprised you've taken to him so well. He doesn't seem like a man of many words.

"He isn't." She smiled to herself. "He mostly growls and grunts at me. But I still understand him." Jon's eyes spoke to her without words.

"Interesting how the heart works isn't it." Maester Aemon said. "You wish to share half your soul with a bastard boy who swore his life away to the Night's Watch."

"I-" She tried to think of an excuse. But she couldn't. There was no point in denying it. "I can't help it."

Jon POV

Jon was in a particularly good mood that day. Considering his father was in chains in Kings Landing. He had awoken to Lilly still in his arms, touching his exposed chest. She had nearly kissed him. He knew it shouldn't, but it made his heart swell.

Sword! Sword! Sword! His brothers chanted when he had entered the great hall with Long Claw on his hip. Words spread quickly that Lord Commander Mormont had given Jon the sword of his house.

Jon grinned unsheathing the sword. They had all congratulated him with pats on the back. Jon noticed Sam was sitting in the corner, his eyes cast down at his untouched meal.

He walked over and sat next to Sam.

"What is it?" Jon questioned.

"I-"Sam paused. "I can't"

"You can't what?" Jon asked raising an eyebrow.

"Ah- I'm really not supposed to say." Sam looked extremely conflicted.

"And yet, you really want to say. You want to say that-" Jon said smiling at Sam.

"There was a raven. I read the message to Maester Aemon." Sam whispered "It's your brother Robb." Jon's smile dropped immediately.

"What?" Jon said. "What about him?"

"He's heading south. To war." Jon inhaled sharply.

"All his banner men have rallied to his side, they'll keep him safe." Sam tried to reason.

"I should be there. I should be with him." Jon stood, storming out of the Great Hall. He could see Sam's shocked expression.

He founds his legs moving up the stairs to see Lilly. He shouldn't. Not after this morning. That had been to close. If she had kissed him, he would have broken his vows to whisk her away in the dead of night.

He opened the door, to find her laying on the bed reading. Her auburn hair sprawled out around her face. She was so beautiful, it hurt him.

"Hello Jon." She whispered. He just grunted back at her. She sighed. The tension was rolling off of him in waves. She pulled herself up, and patted the seat next to her. He sat, handing her his hand. He wanted to feel her touch, and this was the least dangerous way to get his fill without the desire to ravage her filling his mind.

"What is it?" She took his hand without question. She intertwined her tiny cold fingers with his.

"My brother is marching to war." He said looking down.

"To defend your father?" He nodded.

"I should be with him." He says looking at his hands.

"You want to dessert, to help your brother in battle."

He nodded. He was ashamed. But they were his family.

"I cannot say I understand." She whispered. "My father has stayed near me most of my life. I couldn't understand what you are going through. But understand this Jon. My father likes you, but not even he can protect you from the law if you dessert."

"He doesn't like me. Seven hells, Lilly. He made me a steward!" Jon snapped. He was losing his temper. He tried to regulate his breaths, but every time he closed his eyes he saw his family's head on spikes. He had unconsciously begun to squeeze Lilly's hand in his anger.

She sighed. "You take my father's ravens, accompany him to all of his meetings yes?"

"Yes." He repeated.

"Do you not see? My father chose you to be his steward because he's grooming you for command." She replied.

"You can't know this." He deadpanned

"Of course I can." She replied. "I was there when he made the choice. He thinks you have the makings for the next lord Commander."

The next Lord Commander. Jon was stunned.

"You cannot assume that position if you leave." She whispered to him. He nodded, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. She could tell he had decided not to leave. Not yet anyway. She leaned against him and sighed. He released his iron grip on her hand. She opened and closed her hand, flexing the tight muscle.

"I read in my books that you north men were barbarians with foul tempers. Ice-savages I think the books called them."

He smiled down at her. "Do you think your books were right?"

"They weren't wrong about your foul tempers. I can't imagine what the north is like if you all have wolf's blood." She responded.

"Perhaps you will find out someday."

"Perhaps."

A few hours later

Jon walked up the steps to the raven's nests. Sam had told him that the elderly Maester was waiting for him up there. He had almost no doubt that he was going to get a lecture from him. Whether it was about his growing relationship with Lilly or his desire to run to fight for his brother, he did not know. As he approached, he saw the blind man hacking away at bits of red meat. He winced. He couldn't imagine how Aemon didn't chop off his fingers.

"Sam said you wanted to see me." Jon stated to Maester Aemon.

"I did indeed. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to assist me." He said gesturing to the pile of raw meat on the wooden table in front of him. Jon picked up a knife, and began chopping.

"Tell me." Maester Aemon began. "Did ever wonder why the men of the Night's Watch take no wives and father no children?"

Jon paused. "No." In truth he had been thinking of it more often than not. Jon wanted to give up everything for girl with the icy eyes girl in the Tower of the Lord Commander. It was no wonder that feeling so powerful were forsook when the brothers took their vows.

"So they will not love. Love is death of duty. If the day should ever come that your lord father was to choose between honor on the one hand and those he loves on the other, what would he do?" Maester Aemon questioned. Jon thought of Lilly. She could be the death of his honor, just as his brothers war could be. Jon thought of the expected response to this question.

"He do whatever was right. No matter what." Jon replied.

"Then Lord Stark is one man in ten thousand. Most of us are not so strong. What is honor worth compared to a women's love? What is duty against the feel of a new born son in your arm?" Maester Aemon gave him a knowing nod.

Jon couldn't stop the image the popped into his mind. Lilly in a beautiful dress under a weirwood tree, becoming his wife. Her quiet cries and soft skin under his fingertips as they joined for the first time. A swell beginning to form between her hips. Her blinding smile as she handed him his newborn son for the first time. Jon was not a man of many words or wants. But he found that he desired this more than anything. Even more than his desire to be legitimized as a Stark.

"Or a brother's smile." Maester Aemon said, interrupting his thoughts. The old man knows everything.

"Sam told you." Jon deadpans.

"We're all human. And we all do our duty when there is no cost to it. Honor comes easy then. Yet sooner or later in every man's life there comes a day where it is not easy. A day he must choose." Aemon replies.

"And this is my day?" Jon snaps. "Is that what you're saying?"

"It hurts boy. I know." Sympathy laced in his voice.

"You DO NOT know." Jon replied. He was shaking now. "No one knows."

The pain of caring for someone he could never truly have was excruciating. She was so close, right there for the taking. But he couldn't have her. The gods were cruel putting something he was destined to desire so much just out of his reach. He wanted to be able to care for her. As a man should be able to care for his women. The animal inside of him wanted her in more primitive ways. But Jon was a bastard. He would dishonor her.

Jon thinks about his father then. He had raised him among his true born children, instances like that were nearly unheard of. Jon adored his father, admired him more than anyone.

"I may be a bastard. But he is my father, and Robb is my brother." Jon sighed.

"The gods were cruel when they say fit to test my vows." Maester Aemon began. "They waited until I was old. What could I do when the ravens brought the news from the south? The death of my family, the ruin of my house. I was helpless, blind, frail. But when I heard that they had killed my brothers son, and his poor son. And the children. Even the little children." The elderly man was beginning to tense.

"Who are you?" Jon's eyes widened.

"My father was Maekar, the first of his name. My brother Aegon, reigned after him when I had refused the throne. He was followed by his son Aerys. Who they came to call the Mad King."

"You're Aemon Targaryen." Jon whispered in surprise.

"I'm a Maester of the Citadel. Bound in service to Castle Black and the Night's Watch." Maester Aemon said sighing. "I will not tell you to stay or go. I will not tell you to take her and run, or leave her be. You must make that choice yourself. And live with it for the rest of your days. As I have." Maester Aemon left Jon to his thoughts after giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Lilly POV

Lilly wandered out of her Chambers later that day. She figured she would spend some time with her father before Jon had finished his chores. She descended the stairs to her father's study. She could feel a sense of dread crawling through her stomach and into her bones.

She heard him whispering to Maester Aemon.

"What do I tell the boy?" Her father sighed.

"He was beheaded." Maester Aemon replied. Oh no.

She pushed open the door. "Who was beheaded?" She demanded. The look on their faces told her all she needed to know.

She turned to run to Jon. He would need her. But her father had caught her arm first. "Let me tell him Lilly." He said sadly. "Wait in your rooms."

Hours Later

It was dark. She had done as her father asked her and waited in her chambers. She laid in bed worrying for him for hours. Moments after her father had gone to tell him the news, she had collapsed clutching her chest. It was a feeling of desperation and anguish. Gasping the realization hit her. She could feel his pain. She had expected him to come see her. But she had fallen asleep waiting for him.

The sound of the door opening had woke her. She sat up wiping the sleep from her eyes, when her breath was stolen by the sight before her.

His hair was matted, while his breathing came in labored puffs. His knuckles were bloodied, from hitting something in his rage. But it was the look in his eye that truly frightened her. She had seen Jon angry. But never like this.

Jon was one of the sternest young men she had ever met. Hardly ever showing his true emotions. But the look in his eyes told her he was completely unhinged. His eye's looked empty. She slowly made her way to him, whispering his name in the night.

"Jon." He stared blankly ahead, not acknowledging her. Lilly approached him as you would approach a wild animal. She pauses, calling his name again.

This time he looked up at her, into her eyes. She can see the pain. Lilly's legs began to move on their own accord. She's in his arms, just as he collapses to his knees, bringing her down with him. She runs her fingers through his tangled curls, hushing him gently as he sobbed into her shoulder.

Lilly has no words for him. She could feel his tears running down her neck, soaking her nightdress as he kept her crushed against him. He was holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. She pulled away to look at his face.

She took both sides of his face into her hands and whipped his tears. "What can I do?" She whispered.

"Sing for me." Jon rasped. "Hold me." She had never seen him look so vulnerable.

Lilly nodded and he lay his head in her lap. He looked like a devastated child. He had gripped handfuls of her dress and began to sob again. She began to sing her favorite tune, running her fingers soothingly through his hair.

"Softly, deftly, music shall surround you. Feel it, hear it, closing in around you.

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, in this darkness which you know you cannot fight.

The darkness of the music of the night

Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world, leave all thoughts of the life you knew before.

Jon sat up, his head leaving her lap. His tears had stopped but he had that look in his eyes again. The one from that morning. He grabbed the back of her thighs, and hauled her into his lap with his hands settling on her hips. He leaned his forehead against hers and inhaled deeply. They were both under a spell.

Let your soul take you were you want to be.

Only then, can you belong to me."

When she sang the last words, his fingers wound their way through the hair at the base of her neck. She could feel the heat radiating from beneath his clothes. Her hands reached for his face, dragging her thumb across his bottom lip. They were so close that their noses brushed. They kept leaning into each other slowly, until their lips gently brushed. The spark Lilly felt shoot through her caused her to gasp.

She looked up at him, as he looked down at her. This will destroy us. But that knowledge didn't stop them. He kissed her again, but this time it was not the simple brushing of lips. Lilly's mouth had opened slightly in anticipation, and Jon bit down on her bottom lip gently. She pressed her lips back against his, grabbing fits of his black hair. She couldn't get close enough to him. He had pulled her hair back so her neck was exposed, and began assaulting her with nips, kisses, and licks. He was about to return his mouth to hers when her sense's came back to her.

"We can't." Her voice cracked as she looked away. She wanted this more than anything.

Jon grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"We can. I'm riding out to join my brother tonight." He said decided. "Come with me. You can meet my brothers and sisters. I can show you the godswood in Winterfell. I'll take care of you, I promise."

She shook her head, "Jon-"

"Trust me." He interrupted. He was staring into her eyes. She nodded her head slowly. "We must leave quickly then."

She grabbed a black cloak, wrapping it around herself and pulling the hood over her face. When she was ready she took Jon's hand and they hurried down to the stables. She looked up to the tower. I'm sorry father, she thought.

They snuck down to the stables, stealing the fastest horse. Jon climbed atop the horses back first. Lilly was afraid. She had never been out of this castle, and now she was running off into the night with a man. She looked up at Jon, who had extended his hand to help her on top of the horse. He may be serious and half a wolf himself, but he starred down at her like she was the complete center of his world.

That was all she needed to grab his hand. She mounted the horse behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. They burst out the stables, out of Castle Black, and rode straight into the night.

Surprise! Should they ride all the way to Robbs camp? Or should they return to the wall. I haven't decided if I'll let them escape into the night yet or not. Either way, they will meet the wildlings. Let me know what you think! Please favorite, follow, and review! I love reading all your kind words, please don't stop sending them my way! For those of you who have been on fanfic awhile, would my story be considered popular? I published it a week ago and half over two hundred followers! I'm not sure if that is good in comparison to others or not. Let me know!

Finally my two shoutouts for the day:
labyrinthloverxx- Thank you so much for all your kind words! I really glad that you think I am keeping the characters similar to their television counterparts. Thats my goal! I appreciate you reviewing constantly. Thanks again!

RoyalsWeeknd- One of my newer readers! I am so glad that my writing has made your summer better! It makes it so much easier to continue when I know you are loving what I'm writing and my ideas.