Damion, Juliet, Nick and I all stood in shock, looking at the mountain-sized zombie. "So... That's a thing." I said.
"What are we gonna do?!" Nick asked.
"I didn't even know this type of monster existed!" Juliet said.
"Well, we've gotta do something. Sai, any plans?" He said.
"Just this one." I said, holding my hands above my head and making a fireball the size of the Spirit Bomb, throwing it at Killabilly, taking off his head, chest and arms. "There we go, taken care of." I said, turning away, but suddenly, we heard a noise. I turned around and, very slowly, but enough to see what was happening, he was reforming. Within 5 minutes, he was fully reformed. "Ah, shit, it's Cell all over again." I said, annoyed.
"Who?" Juliet and Nick asked.
"Nevermind." I said, then turned to Damion. "Damion, get Draco and Nicolas. We're gonna need 'em." I said.
"That time?" He asked, grinning evilly.
"That time." I said with a smirk, walking towards Killabilly as he took off.
"What are you doing?! That thing will kill you!" Juliet said, grabbing my arm.
"Hey, this is my motto: If I can hurt it, that means I can kill it." I said, flying at him, landing on a building at eye-level of him.
"You think he'll be okay?" Nick asked.
"It's Sai we're talking about. He should be fine." She said, worriedly.
Back with me...
"Hey, rotting douchebag!" I called out, getting his attention.
"Fire demon!" He said angrily.
"Yeah. Hey, you wanna know who my second-favorite rappers on YouTube are?" I asked, turning to the 4th wall. "Second only to the Epic Rap Battles of History!" I said, then turned back.
"Who?" He asked.
"TeamHeadKick!" I said, flying in at hypersonic speeds and kicking him in the head, knocking him to the ground.
"Whoa! I bet Sai COULD beat this guy on his own!" Juliet said in awe, jumping excitedly.
"Yeah, but I wonder what Damion and those other guys are gonna do?" Nick asked.
"Where are those guys? He's had all of 5 minutes, he should be back with them by now." I said, looking at my watch.
"We're here." Damion said, holding his Beast Bass guitar.
"Let's rock!" Draco said, his Death Drums set up.
"I'm here. We can do this!" Nicolas said, pulling out his Malicious Microphone.
I turned to the 4th wall at this moment. "Okay, quick rundown: Just like Nevan, their instruments are evil demon weapons from hell, now with the combo of our skills and these weapons abilities- Well, you'll just have to wait and see." I said, with a smirk, turning back to Killabilly, with an evil glare. "You're a lucky guy. You're the first one to hear the premier of the band straight from hell: Immortal Badass! The most badass and close-to-evil band of all time!" I announced, strumming a loud F chord, bringing the zombie to his knees.
"Time for a dose of hell!" Damion said, playing a long, awesome rift and opening a portal to hell.
"Let me rock his world!" Draco said, playing his drums, shaking the ground and rocking the massive zombie into multiple buildings as he failed to keep his balance.
"A mighty beast, us demons fell, now we send this monster back to hell!" Nicolas sang, giant arms reaching out of the portal and pulling the mighty zombie into it as we continued to play one of the most badass songs we know of: "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by Drowning Pool.
"Thank you! We are Immortal Badass. Juliet, it's your birthday, any requests?" I called out.
"How about Paralyzer?" She asked.
"We can as a matter of fact do that." I said as we began the next epic song. Once that was over, the guys went their separate ways and I reconvened with the Starlings. "Well, that was a lot of fun everybody, we'll have to do this again sometime." I said.
"Totally! That was awesome!" Juliet said.
"Yeah, this was the most epic day of my life." Nick said.
"So, you gonna be headin' or yer way?" Gideon asked.
"Yeah, I gotta get out of here. If I don't get Trish her bike back, I'm a deadman." I said.
"Oh, a motorcycle? Cool. I always wanted one." Cordelia said.
"Yeah, they're pretty badass." I said.
"Yeah! Just imagine the damage I could do on one of those!" Rosalind said energetically.
"Not even the gods would want to imagine that. Anyway, before I get out of here, happy birthday, Juliet." I said, handing her a present box similar to the ones she's been getting all day, except this one was black with a bright red ribbon.
"Ooh, thanks Sai." She said, unwrapping it, pulling out a trench coat with her school colors on it. "Whoa, thanks Sai! It's magic like yours, right?" She asked.
"Nope, it's just for style." I said, but then chuckled when they all looked at me and deadpanned. "No, just kidding, you can probably fit a thousand chainsaws in that thing. Probably a bit more spacy than that duffel bag you had before." I said.
"Thanks again. Hey, will we ever see each other again?" She asked.
"Who knows. I'll probably give you some cameos or at least reference you guys in some of my other stories. And gods willing, Suda51 will make a Lollipop Chainsaw 2. I saw on there website it did respectable numbers and sold over a million copies, so maybe, you know?" I said, getting on the bike and taking off.
"We best hurry. Your Mom's gonna be worried." Gideon said.
"And none of us want to see that." Cordelia said.
"Yeah, not even I'm that crazy!" Rosalind said.
"You know what? This has really been the best birthday ever!" Juliet said, to which everyone laughed.
After a long credit scene of them running all through town, they finally arrived at the home of the Starlings. "Mom! I'm home!" Juliet said cheerfully as they all ran in.
"Momma, your lover boy is back." Gideon said.
"Everyone, where were you? You were supposed to be home hours ago!" She said, her back turned from the rest of the family, not exactly sounding concerned.
"Mom, I have someone I want you to meet!" Juliet said, moving out of the way slightly.
"Mrs. Starling, hi, I'm Nick!" Nick addressed himself.
"Oh, you're... Juliet's friend?" Her mother asked, still not particularly interested.
"Mom? What's wrong?" Juliet asked.
Her mother didn't answer, still focusing on whatever she was working on, looking somewhat dark from their point of view. "Juliet..." Nick said worriedly.
There was a small pause before she turned around with a wonderfully made pink cake with strawberries lining the top around the edge, some purple flakes in between the candles, which for some reason, there were only 13 of (not kidding). "Will you kids just hold on two seconds? I'm trying to get Juliet's birthday cake ready." She said, happily, laughing at the beginning, setting it down on the table. "Happy birthday!" She said warmly to her middle daughter.
"Oh, Mom!" Juliet said happily. They all sat down at the table and enjoyed the conversations, laughing and having a good time, when Nick suddenly turned to Juliet with a present box.
"Oh, Juliet, I almost forgot!" Nick said.
She opened it to reveal a bunch of red, pink and white roses and 9 lollipops with hearts printed all over the wrappers. She smiled brightly at Nick, then her mother spoke up again. "So, Juliet, how was your day today?" She asked.
"Great, mom! I hung out with a lot of my friends and I made a really cool new friend." She replied, looking off into the distance.
Back with me...
[So, how are we gonna get out of the gang killing us back at the office.]
Yeah. We screwed most of them over, they've gotta be PISSED at us!
"You guys need to relax. You should never underestimate Sai Blade. I've always got a plan, I've always got it made~" I sang my small little parody of "Never underestimate a girl", pulling up in front of the office, where two angry devils waited in front.
"Well, at least you managed not to ruin my bike, but I still didn't say you could take it." Trish said, observing the bike as I got off it.
"And it's really getting annoying when you take stuff from the office. I think it's time we deal with this." Dante said, slowly taking Rebellion off his back and Trish sparked lightning in her hands.
"Yeah, I know, I pulled a couple of dick moves and pissed you guys off, but I think these will make up for it." I said, tossing them each a full burlap sack.
"What's in here?" Dante asked, opening it to reveal hundreds of cold coins (the zombie medals). "What the?!" He said in both shock and joy.
"That should pay the electric bill and rent for a while, huh?" I asked.
"Nice. Sneaky little devil you are. I guess I can let the thing with the bike slide. I'm off to go shopping." She said.
"In the end, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's saving my own ass." I said, tossing Dante the devil arms I borrowed.
THE END