He was pathetic, Rufus thought, fighting back the urge to let out an angry bark of laughter. Truly and utterly, what a wretched little man to be pressed up against a door, hands caressing the smooth ivory surface in the manner which he longed to touch HER. Alicia had retreated to the bathroom, the door locked and barred against him. She didn't trust him, and right now he couldn't blame her. He knew she would be horrified to find him leaning against the door, reveling in the warmth of the wood, ears pricked to capture her every sound. Every splash, every murmur, each sound fueling his fantasies.
His eyes were situated right at the crack in the door, that thin sliver of space offering him a glimpse into the bathroom. Not that he could see very much, aside from the sky blue ties of the far wall. But occasionally he saw her arm, bent at the elbow and resting on the tub's ledge. Her skin was pink from the heat of the water, not a speck of dirt to be found on her. He wondered about the rest of her, wanting to inspect her thoroughly even as he cursed himself in his head for such thoughts.
Water splashed, and her arm disappeared, Rufus holding his breath in excitement. Her foot suddenly appeared, cute little toes wiggling as she shook the water free from her skin. More of her appeared, a shapely leg stepping over the side of the tub, and it was then that Rufus' conscience kicked in, forcing the God to push himself away from the door, stumbling backwards with his eyes closed. For good measure he slapped his hand over his eyes, finding his skin was slick with nervous sweat.
He was still patting his brow, running his fingers through his slightly damp bangs when he heard the door unlock. It swung inwards, revealing Alicia, clad in a pale lavender gown. In her arms, she held her blue dress, the material slightly damp from where she had scrubbed at the dirty spots. He smiled at her, unable to keep from doing a slow look over at her body, approving of the way the dress clung to her curves.
"You look lovely." Rufus said, returning his eyes to her face in time to catch the pink blush on her cheeks. She was looking shy, ducking her head so that her golden hair fell forward to hide her from him, her arms holding onto the blue dress tighter. "The color suits you."
"Thank you." Alicia whispered, glancing up in alarm at the sound of his footsteps approaching her. She was still so nervous around him, and it made him frown, even as he reached out with his hands.
"Here...let me..." Rufus said, taking the damp dress from her. She watched wordlessly as he walked over to the window, reaching up to hang it over the curtain rod. "It'll dry faster if we leave it in the sun." He explained, turning to look at her. "Are you hungry?" He asked, moving towards the table, fingers reaching to pull back the silver cover atop a matching platter. Fruits were revealed, all manners, from crimson colored apples, to green grapes that were plump with juice. "I had Esme prepare this while you bathed."
She didn't smile, didn't so much as blink, but slowly she approached him, eyeing the fruit hungrily. He remembered how she hadn't finished her meal the night before, and he was determined to see her eat her fill this time. "Here...try this..." suugested Rufus, lifting up a fuzzy peach.
"What is it?" Alicia asked, looking at the pinkish orange fruit in his hands. He remembered that peaches didn't grow in Coriander's part of the world, and most likely the fruit would have been too expensive to import.
"It's a peach." He explained, dropping it into her waiting hand. "It tastes really good."
"If you say so." She said doubtfully, fingers rubbing the fuzz that was lightly dabbled on it's skin. She turned the fruit this way and that, examining it thoroughly before raising it to her lips. He tried not to stare as he watched her mouth open, teeth flashing as she took a tiny bite of the fruit. "HMMMMMMMMMMM!" She suddenly exclaimed, eyes widening with amazement. She took another bite, bigger this time, moaning out her appreciation. "It's good!"
"I told you so!" He grinned at her, watching as juice leaked out the corners of her mouth. He found himself taking a step forward before he could stop himself, wanting to lick at her skin, lap the liquid up with his tongue. Instead he forced his hands into fists, keeping them clenched and at his sides, behaving himself for now. Alicia noticed his struggle, nearly dropping the peach on the floor, a gasp escaping her.
"Sorry..." He murmured, Rufus turning his back on her, pretending to be studying the fruit platter. "So have you ever tasted anything as sweet and juicy as that peach?"
Alicia accepted his attempt at conversation, slowly answering back. "No...do all peaches taste like this, or is it magic?"
"Here...try an apple..." He said, plucking the red fruit from the top of the pile. "And it is magic." He admitted, as her fingers brushed against his, claiming the apple for her own. "Nothing spoils or grows rotten here in Asgard. Well...almost nothing." He conceded the point, thinking of the weeds that constantly sprouted up, trying to choke the life out of the local plant life.
She was listening to him, chewing noisily on the apple, making happy noises as she ate. He smiled, amused by her sounds, fingers plucking grapes free of the pile. The tower of fruit wobbled, looking dangerously close to toppling, but for now it held fast. "The fairies will be pleased."
"Oh?" She arched a golden eyebrow at him, a question in her eyes.
"The little gardners work hard to grow the best fruit...and get very little in the way of thanks." He explained, fingers playing with the round balls of the grape, pulling them free of the vine. He set them down on the table, arranged in neat little rows, something to occupy his hands and keep him from trying to touch Alicia. "They are ever so happy to work for an appreciative audience."
"Is there no one to enjoy the results of their labor?" She asked innocently, another apple in her hand.
"Well...not really." Admitted Rufus. "The Gods don't eat very much you see, and when they do, well...they don't really pay mind to where the food comes from, or who worked to grow it. But..." He sighed, shaking his head. "You can be damn sure that they will complain if it doesn't taste right!"
"I see..." Alicia frowned, giving a slight toss of her head. "Well, I will be sure to thank the fairies for their hard work when next I see them."
"They'll like that." Rufus smiled, reaching for an orange. His fingers easily pealed back the skin of the fruit, Rufus pulling a slice free of the round orange. He tasted it, and it was sweet, Rufus able to understand why Alicia was so vocal in her appreciation of the fruit. Juice squirted in his mouth, across his lips, tongue darting out to lick it all up. He closed his eyes for a moment, just savoring the taste of it.
His eyes opened, catching her staring at him. For a second her lips trembled, Alicia fighting the temptation to smile. "You don't eat much do you...?"
"No..." He admitted, reaching for another orange slice. "I haven't seen much need too. It's not like I can starve...but..perhaps..."
"Perhaps?" She urged him, waiting for him to finish his thought.
"Perhaps I have been needlessly denying myself." Rufus said, a thoughtful expression on his face. "There is pleasure to be found in the tasting of good foods..." He smiled at her, taking a step closer towards her. "And in good company." His hand was raising, reaching to touch her hair, when she gasped and took a step back, dropping her apple in favor of raising her hands to ward him off.
Rufus sighed heavily, fingers grasping the air where she had been, eyes looking sad as he gazed at her. "Alicia..." He saw her flinch at the sound of that name, lips
parting, sure to admonish him for not using her other name. "Alicia..." he said more firmly, and grabbed hold of her wrists, pulling her to him.
"What are you doing?" She demanded, blue eyes wary as she went struggling into his embrace.
"Thank you." He hugged her, burying his nose in her hair, breathing in the scent of the shampoo she had just used. "You remind me that I need to start enjoying life once more. And starting simple, starting with food is a good way to do it!"
She was shifting in his arms, uncomfortable with him holding her. That made him grip her all the more tightly, squeezing her until she cried out in pain. He cringed at the sound, loosening his grip slightly, fingers caressing the back of her dress. "Let go of me..." Alicia whispered, stiff in his embrace. "Please!" She added, a hint of panic in her tone.
"It's all right, shhh..." He said soothingly, rubbing his cheek against the top of her head.
"It's not!" She protested, and her hands touched his chest, Rufus arching into her touch even as she shoved hard. He gave her the illusion of escaping, allowing her to back out of his arms, the girl all but fleeing to the corner of the room furthest from him. Her eyes were wide, and she stared at him, cautious should he try to approach her.
Rufus bit his lip to keep from swearing, his hand hitting the table, feeling the wet squelch of the grapes underneath his palm. "I've done it again." He shook his hand, trying to shake off the remains of the grapes, even as he sighed. "I've upset you, and ruined your meal."
Alicia said nothing, eyes continuing to stare. He turned his back on her, wanting to hide from the accusation in them. "Please...finish eating."
"I'm not hungry." Alicia said, remaining pressed against the wall.
"That can't be true..." Rufus replied, glancing at the table. She had hardly made a dent in the platter's offering, so many tempting morsels of fruit laying piled up on each other. "You hardly ate last night, and now I've turned you off your meal again..!"
"I'll eat something later." She promised him. "I find it difficult to eat on a nervous stomach..."
His shoulder sagged, Rufus feeling the pointed jab of her words go straight to his heart. He continued to stare at the table, feeling her eyes on his back. Minutes passed, neither one speaking until Rufus at last cleared his throat. "So..." He said, sounding almost casual. "How about that tour?" He turned in time to see her blinking at him in surprise, unnerved by his abrupt change in attitude. Truth be known, it bothered him too, but he wanted to put her at ease, have them both forget about his little indiscretion at the table.
She didn't seem to be buying it, just looking at him wordlessly. "You do want to see the beauty of Asgard yourself, do you not?" Rufus asked, trying to capture her interest. "Oh Alicia, the stories can't compare to actual witnessing it with your own eyes. The sights, the sounds, the smells...all of it guaranteed to tantalize the sensations of the body!"
"I would like that." She slowly admitted, and he smiled.
"Then come here." He said, holding out his hand to her. She stared at it with suspicion, not making a move towards him. He didn't blame her after that last attempt at holding her, but he needed her close by if they were going to teleport. "I promise I won't try anything. Just...let me...hold you so we can transport to the stables."
"Stables?" Interest shown in her eyes, and Rufus saw his chance.
"Yes...we're going for a ride." He said. "I thought it would be better than teleporting you from place to place. Less disorientating." He gave a laugh then, Rufus putting a hand behind his head, a nervous gesture. "I know how unsettling it can be, especially on the stomach. When I was first learning how to control the ether, I was a disaster!"
"Really?"
"Oh yes. I even got ill on occasion from trying to make the shift from place to place." He continued to chuckle, amused at himself. "Freya was most displeased. She said and I quote, it is ill befitting a God to be sick." He could almost hear the Goddess' angry voice in his ear, chiding him for that incident. "So I rather not place an unnecessary strain on your body when we could travel in style."
She was still hesitating, and he continued to sell her on the thought. "We have many steeds in the stable, all manners of horses, even ones you never dreamed of." Another smile from him, teeth flashing. "There's even a unicorn..."
"A unicorn?" There was definitely girlish glee in her eyes at the thought, and she slowly stepped away from the wall at his nod. Rufus had to force himself to be patient, waiting for her to approach him when he wanted nothing more than to seize hold of her hand. But at last she reached him, and with a warning in her eyes, took hold of his hand, Rufus lacing his fingers together with her soft ones.
"Now..." He said, and he pulled her near, though not as close as he would have liked. She helped keep them separate, a hand on his chest, light pressure exerted to keep him at bay. He allowed her that, sure she knew that if he wanted to, he could easily have her plastered against his front. "Here we go..." He whispered advice in her ear. "It helps if you close your eyes."
"Okay." Alicia said, lowering her eyelids. He used his free hand to start gathering ether around him, seeing multicolored sparkles glow on his fingertips. With a wave of his hand, it flowed free, encircling their bodies. He'd never admit this, but on occasion he too felt the need to close his eyes as reality shifted, hating the way their surroundings blurred, as though being see through the cascading liquid of a waterfall.
For a second it felt like they hung suspended in the air, chimes ringing out, sounding their arrival. But then the ground solidified beneath their feet, hay stalks crunching underfoot. Alicia immediately opened her eyes at the sound, taking a step away from him as she peered curiously at the room. More of that crunching sound, indeed the whole floor was littered with hay and dust, and huge, golden bales of it were stacked in the corner.
The stable was made from the finest wood, a rich, reddish brown polished to perfection. It made up the walls, huge beams of it arching upward to support the pointed ceiling. At the side opposite the stack of hay, were doors large in size, almost reaching the ceiling. They were slightly ajar, letting in a cool breeze, the air a much needed relief to chase away the musky smell of the horses.
Alicia immediately gravitated towards the back of the huge stable, hurrying towards the stalls where horses could be seen. She seemed to delight in the animals, and as she gazed into the first stall, a gasp was heard. "Ooooh. Aren't you a beauty..." She breathed out, staring at the white horse, with it's braided mane. Golden eyes looked back at her, and the horse nickered a greeting, hooves sounding as it neared the gate of the stall. It's head stuck out over the top of it, the mare peering at Alicia with intelligence in her eyes.
Alicia could not help herself it seemed, her first genuine smile on her face as she reached for the horse, hands held up before it's muzzle. The horse shoved it's nose into her palms, scenting the fruit she had handled. The mare let out a neigh, a questioning call, licking it's lips hungrily. "Here." Rufus said, appearing behind her, an apple in his hands. "Feed her this."
"Thank you!" Alicia said, taking it from him. If she was startled by his closeness, she didn't reveal it, her attention all for the horse. The mare spotted the apple, and her lips quivered, her neck straining to reach Alicia's hands. The girl laughed, and held the treat out to the mare, the apple disappearing from her hands almost immediately. Rufus closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her laugh, a shiver racking his body. It seemed if he wanted to see her smile and be happy, all he need do is surround her with horses. But he felt envy too, wanting to be the cause of her happiness and not her sorrow.
One last pat of the horse's head, Alicia stroking between it's ears, and then she was moving on to the next stall. Rufus paced behind her, only interfering when she attempted to touch the fire stallion of Sol's, the girl seeming heedless of the flames burning in it's golden orange mane. Alicia practically pouted at him for denying her the chance to touch the red furred horse, but she moved on, peering into each and every stall.
There were many horses, some quite normal looking in appearance, but more often than not they were unusual. With bright, brilliant colors, and oddities to them, such as a ruffle around the neck, or the stallion who was more reptile than mammal, with glittering purple and green scales covering his body. There was even a stall with a make shift pond inside it, a creature that was half horse, half fish happily splashing about.
But it was the unicorn that stole her breath away, Alicia nearly falling to her knees at the sight of the tall mare. Her fur was a pure white, like freshly fallen snow, while her mane held all the colors of the rainbow. Delicate ears twitched as Alicia called to her, a sterling silver horn growing between them. She walked over to the gate, huffing loudly, smelling Alicia. Alicia giggled, and reached forward to hug the unicorn. The creature neighed softly, nuzzling her nose into Alicia's hair, being careful to keep from spearing the girl with her horn.
While Alicia fussed and fawned over the unicorn, Rufus moved away, though he kept a careful watch on their interaction. He knew the unicorn wouldn't purposefully hurt Alicia, knowing the creatures adored virgin females, but still her horn made him wary.
He reached one of the stalls, unlocking the gate, and led out a fine looking stallion. A black beauty, whose mane, tail, and hooves were a midnight blue, and it's eyes gleamed pure white in color. It snorted, pawing at the ground, pleased to have been chosen, allowing Rufus to guide him forward with just a hand on his side. The stallion was patient and still as Rufus began putting gear onto him, sliding an iron bit between his teeth, and attaching reins to the leather strap muzzle. No protests from the beast as Rufus attached him to a small silver chariot, the stallion appearing eager for a run.
"Alicia...?" Rufus called, screwing the last bolt into place.
"Hmmm?" A distracted sound from her, Alicia still caressing the unicorn.
"Alicia...come on. Let's go..." He had to go collect her, taking her by the arm, all but dragging her away from the unicorn. She made a protesting noise, and he sighed. "I promise I'll let you come back for a visit. But right now we need to go." Still holding onto her arm, Rufus guiding her towards the chariot, actually taking hold of her waist to lift her up over the step and onto the metal. He did a smooth leap over the lowered edge of the back, landing in the space besides her.
It was a small enclosed space, the chariot designed for speed and ease of movement. A few steps forward had him at the raised front, the metal coming up to his waist. The leather reins were hanging over the side of the metal, and Rufus took them, waiting for Alicia to join him at the front. She placed her hands on the metal, loosely holding on, and it was then Rufus moved. Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he cracks the reins, the stallion breaking into a slow trot. The chariot moved. wheels silent as they spun, the stallion heading for the stable's doors.
Ether glowed on his hand, a wave from Rufus had the doors opening all the way, the horse not shying away from this display of power. It led them out and into the courtyard of Valhalla, where people milled about. There was few Gods there, most of the people hurrying around were einherjar, servants with tasks assigned to them. Others were practicing their art, weapons spinning as they mock dueled opponents. But everyone paused to see their King, a murmur picking up in the crowd as they watched him drive by.
Some actually knelt, while others just bowed their heads. A girl in brown was on the steps leading up to Valhalla, and her voice rang out. "Alana!" Frei called, waving her arm in an enthusiastic greeting. Rufus frowned at hearing the name, glancing sideways at the girl by his side, seeing her wave back at Frei. He cracked the reins again, causing the horse to move quicker, the chariot rounding a large fountain that was in the center of the courtyard. The chariot bumped across the stone tiles of the ground, people hurrying out of the way, as Rufus built up speed.
"Um Rufus..." Alicia said, glancing around the courtyard. "There appears to be no way out of here." She was looking at the high wall that enclosed Valhalla, closely fitted stone blocks that allowed not even light to pass through.
"Oh there's a way." Rufus grinned, even as they sped around the courtyard. "Look up Alicia...and hang on tightly now!"
"Rufus what?" Her question ended in a startled shriek, seeing the horse lifting up off the ground, hooves striking up sparks in the air as the stallion floated in midair. Those sparks extended to the chariot, the silver vehicle lifting upwards effortlessly. Laughter could be heard from the ground, the gathered people amused at Alicia's shock. Her mouth gaped open in surprise, and she moved closer to him, her body brushing against Rufus' side. He could feel her trembling, her hands gripping hold of the metal, white knuckled from how tightly she held on.
"Don't worry Alicia." He said, voice low and soothing. "I won't let you fall." He slid his free arm around her waist, securing a hold on her. She leaned against him, and seemed as though she would let go of the chariot to grab at his arm, her eyes wide with fright.
"We're...we're flying!" She said breathlessly, staring straight ahead. She appeared too frightened to look around, and it was a wonder she kept her eyes open at all.
"That we are." Rufus agreed, guiding the horse higher up, the chariot turning sideways as it rolled along the wall. She seemed to breathe a bit easier to feel something beneath them, though she still refused to look away from the horse. "You're not scared of heights are you?"
"I don't know...I've never been this high up before!" She exclaimed. That wasn't true, he thought to himself, remembering their journey across the rainbow bridge that connected Bifrost to Asgard. Back then the sky had been all around them, stretching on for miles and miles in either direction. Alicia had shown no fear, walking bravely on across the bridge that was invisible in places.
"It takes a little getting used to." Rufus said. "But you'll be fine." They finally reached the top of the wall, the stallion neighing, wanting to know where to go next. Rufus paused them in mid air, and gently turned a reluctant Alicia around, her trembles increasing, her hands slow to let go of the chariot. She grabbed onto him, fingers digging into his shirt's material, a whimper escaping her.
"Shhh..." soothed Rufus, and he jerked his head to the right. "Take a look Alicia...you won't regret it." She was brave even in the face of her fear, turning her head to gaze on Asgard. All of it was laid out before them, from the golden plains of Idavoll, to the grand halls of the Gods. Even Yggsdrasil could be seen, large even at this distance, it's branches disappearing into storm clouds. The land was beauty itself, and he heard her breath catch in her throat.
"Wow..." exclaimed Alicia, amazed. "It's breath taking..." She continued to stare, and her brow furrowed, a thought occurring to her. "I've seen this before..." She whispered, turning her eyes away from the view to look at him. "Not from this high of course but...I...I remember being here before." Anxiety was in her blue eyes, Alicia frowning. "But how can that be...I've never set foot in Asgard before yesterday!"
"That's not true." Rufus answered. "It may be new to you in this life, but you've been here before..."
"No..." She shook her head, eyes troubled. "I couldn't have been. I...I must have dreamt about this, that's all."
"Why do you try to deny it?" asked Rufus, feeling frustrated with her, and her stubborn refusal to accept her past life. "Especially when the evidence keeps mounting that you ARE Alicia?" He could feel her stiffening in his arms, and she actually took a step away from him, so displeased by his words that it moved her when fear would have her remain frozen.
"I'm not her." She whispered, grabbing hold of the chariot's raised front. "I can't...I won't be her for you Rufus!" A shake of her head, blond hair flying from the force of her motion.
"Why?" It was a pain filled cry of anguish from him, his hands hanging limply at his side.
"I won't lose myself to becoming something--someone that I'm not..." Alicia replied, looking like she wanted to cry. "I promised to stay with you for a year...but I don't expect things to change...with myself...or between us. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can learn to deal with it!"
He was silent when he wanted nothing more than to scream. To rant and rave like a madman. His fingers clenched into fists, nails digging into his palm hard enough to draw blood. But none fell, ether healing away his injuries before they could form. A million thoughts raced through his mind, Rufus wanting to yell at her that she would remember, that she would be glad to reclaim her old life. But he breathed in and out, slowly calming himself.
"Fine." He said, breath exhaling in a slow hiss. "You can continue to believe that if it will make you feel better. Tell yourself whatever you need to, to be able to get through this ordeal." His words were coming out harsher then he meant them too, but Rufus couldn't stop himself. "We'll laugh about this one day. Laugh at how foolish we both acted when your memory returns."
"YAH!!" He cried out, hands holding the reins of the stallion once more. They took off at a slow but steady pace, Rufus determined to continue on with the tour. But even with the wind howling, and the horse neighing, his divine hearing did not fail to pick up Alicia's whispered words.
"No we won't."
--
To Be Continued
Michelle
Ah...this damn chapter went through as many as THREE rewrites before I was somewhat happy with it. The first two didn't have him peeping on her, and yeah...the first two attempts...didn't seem to fit the mood of the first nine chapters. I'm still not completely satisfied, but this might just be me. My first two versions suffered from not enough of Rufus' thoughts, and well...both he and Alicia were getting along too well. They were too happy go lucky, and I feel she couldn't have gotten over her fear, nervousness, and anger in one day, nor could he suddenly start acting less obsessed. So I hope I did good anyway! TT
Ah...I have two bad influences whispering in my ear about directions this fic could go in. So many choices! XD As for not updating, gomensai, but things happen. My mom being in the hospital for one thing. Kinda killed the mood to write dealing with her problems.
Angel Kamui, thank you! AH...I don't know about fast updates...real life has been kicking my ass, and getting in the way of my writing things. "sweatdrop" But I'll try real hard to keep updating!
Aerith the evenstar, ah...guess the arguing didn't last long like you predicted!! Well...were they arguing in this chapter, or just getting on each other nerves...? Actually the first drafts had them getting along really well, and I just hated it. Sorry to hear you got grounded. And there's nothing wrong with liking faeries, no matter what your age is!
ViviBell, sorry to make you worry again. Real life has gotten in the way, and most of my series have suffered. But I am trying to make a come back, slowly but surely. Thanks for your sweet comments, and I'm glad you like Alana!!
Alpha Huntress, hee...your schniving as you put it, closely mirrors a plot point I am considering. Though now it's been expanded to be even eviler. XD