"And they said they needed something?" asked James looking awestruck.
"Yeah." Said Sirius nodding. "They said they could probably get it tonight. Sounded like they wanted something from outside."
"Maybe from the greenhouse?" suggested Peter.
"Yeah…maybe." Sirius sat down and rubbed his eyes. "I hope that's all…then again. Maybe if it's something from the forest, maybe they'll get killed. Wouldn't that be great?" Lily scowled.
"What do you have against them?"
"They're completely evil." Said Sirius raising an eyebrow. "Come on, Evans. They've caused us so much trouble this year. They're lucky to be alive."
Lily sat next to the window. She frowned slightly and leaned forward.
"What's that?" she asked pointing.
James, Sirius, and Peter were went over to the window and looked. Four dark figures were crossing the grounds.
"That looks like the Slytherins!" exclaimed James, pressing his nose to the glass. "What are they doing?"
"They're headed towards the Whomping Willow!" hissed Sirius. "They can't get in can they?"
"No." said James. "But why are they there in the first place?"
"I don't know!" The Slytherins had stopped and seemed to be searching for something. They huddled up again and James assumed they found what they were looking for. Then they stole off back t the castle.
"Well that was weird." Said Sirius bluntly, and he sat back down. James however was sitting with his brows furrowed.
"Yeah…but what would they want from the Whomping Willow? It's not like you can get close enough to get the branches unless you're small or know an immobilizing spell."
"They weren't trying to get at the branches." Muttered Peter. "There must have been something on the ground. Something we couldn't see." James pulled out his History of Magic Essay and shrugged still looking suspicious.
James was up early that morning. He decided to let the others sleep. Sirius would just do something stupid and reckless and Peter was never known for being stealthy.
He really wanted to find out what the Slytherins were planning, and he figured the dungeons would be the best place to start.
Dungeon eight was where Sirius had said the Slytherins had been seen before so James tore off down the corridor down the spiraling flight of stairs, and into the cold damp dungeon. To his disappointment the dungeon was empty except for Mrs. Norris who was skulking around. She gave James a piercing stare as he backed out of the room.
"I haven't done anything wrong, you know." He said quietly and he headed off to breakfast.
Sirius, Peter, and Lily looked surprised to see him.
"Where were you?" Lily demanded. "You weren't in the dormitory. I checked."
"You're not even allowed in our dormitory." James snickered. "Being a prefect, you should know that Miss Evans." Lily smiled and swatted him with her hand.
"Prefects are allowed in the opposite's dormitories if there is cause for concern. You weren't on time so I came up."
"Worried about me?" James asked, nudging her arm. She blushed and said,
"Not at all. Just curious. And-" she dropped her voice. "Why…do you have boxers with unicorns on them?" Sirius nearly fell off his chair laughing. James looked indignant.
"I like them! They're very comfortable!" Lily was trying to suppress giggles.
"And they were a gift!" said James as though that settled the matter.
"Yeah…from ME!" choked Sirius. "I got those for you in Diagon Alley last year! I never thought you'd actually wear them!" he dove beneath the table to stifle his laughter.
James was turning bright red.
"Why were you looking in my trunk anyway, Evans." He snarled. She blinked.
"Um…they weren't in your trunk, moron. They were under your pillow."
This was too much for both James and Sirius. Sirius laughed even harder and James dove across the table to strangle him. They upset Lily's pumpkin juice which spilled all over the white tablecloth.
"Ok, ok." Said Sirius finally regaining control of himself. "James' lingerie aside, where were you actually?" James threw a piece of bacon into Sirius' hair and said,
"I was looking to see if the Slytherins were in the dungeon. No such luck."
"Oh well…" said Lily. "You tried."
"What have we got this morning?" asked Peter yawning.
"Double History of Magic with the Slytherins." Groaned James. "Lord, we're going to be there for hours."
"It's really not that bad." Said Lily. "History of Magic really is quite important. You just have to pay attention."
"That's just it though." Said Sirius. "I'm not good at that." Lily rolled her eyes and swept off to her Arithmancy class.
James was still staring into space.
"What?" asked Sirius noticing his friend's odd behavior.
"She…was in my dormitory." Said James in a distant voice. "I wonder if my bed will smell like her."
"James, mate?"
"Huh?"
"You're drooling on my plate."
History of Magic that morning was just as bad as Sirius had expected.
Binns droned on for an hour and a half about the leader of the Giant tribe in 1823. His name had been Gigor the Relentless, and he had killed over six thousand Muggles and wizards. The class had fallen into its usual stupor. Those who weren't asleep were getting there.
Snape and Malfoy and Bellatrix were writing notes to one another. James was paying close attention to this. Malfoy grinned smugly, and passed the note back to Bellatrix who read it and nodded. Malfoy raised his hand.
"Yes, Mr. Malfig?"
"Um…Sir, I'm not feeling too well. Can I go to the hospital wing?" Binns blinked.
"Not feeling well?" he repeated slowly. Malfoy shivered.
"Yes, Sir. Not well at all." Binns glanced at the clock and said,
"Very well then Mr. Malfoo. Just make sure you get tonight's notes on Gigor! Off you go!" Before he swept out the door, James saw Malfoy give Snape a wide grin.
Padfoot!
Huh?
Where do you think he's going?
I don't know…maybe he really is sick.
Of course he's not. Did you see the way he grinned at Snivellus?
Maybe he's having a good day….I grin when I have good days….like when I get into the broom cupboard with certain young ladies…
Pads, I'm serious!
NO I AM!
Ugh…that joke is so retarded.
But it never gets old, prongs. Never gets old.
I'm going to follow him.
How are you going to do that?
I don't know, but I have a feeling we'll catch them in the act if I do! Come on! We want to nab Snivellus and those jerks don't we?
Yeah…but let me remind you that I'm in detention for thirty two more days after this…
Fine then I'll do it! I need a diversion.
Huh?
Binns needs to get distracted! If you do something, I can slip out and he'll never notice. He probably doesn't even know who I am.
Ok, Genius. What do you want me to do?
Hex someone.
Ok….who?
Can't you just make that bust of Aristotle fall off the shelf? That would do it!
Um ok.
…
I wish I had a pony…
LIKE TODAY PADFOOT!
Oh right. Ok. Good luck!
Sirius took his wand out of his pocket and pointed it between the two people in front of him.
"Bombarda minima!" he whispered, and the bust of Aristotle exploded. The whole class, suddenly jerked from their sleep jumped and some people screamed. Binns however took nearly a minute to rotate and look at the shattered bust. He blinked at it, and James stole out of the room winking at Sirius who shot him the thumbs up.
"Oh dear…poor management." Binns murmured and the class sank back into its lull.
James tore off down the corridor looking from right to left for any teachers. Where would Malfoy have gone? There was sure to be a class in Dungeon eight, so he couldn't be in there. Slughorn would suspect something. Where then? Then James stopped.
Probably the Slytherin common room. That must be where Malfoy went. He slumped against a suit of armor which promptly pushed him back. James scowled at it.
"As if I was hurting you!" he snarled. The suit of armor remained stationary.
Well, James thought. The Slytherin common room had to be near the dungeons because he always saw them coming up from there for breakfast. But where? There were over twenty main dungeon corridors not counting the ones not marked and it was bound to be well hidden. James slapped a hand to his head and thought...the map! It could have probably showed him everything! He pounded his head against the wall for his own stupidity. The marauder's map had everything on it thanks to Sirius following people around all day. He should have asked Sirius.
James ran off to Gryffindor Tower only to find that the Fat Lady had gone to another painting and there was no way to retrieve the map from his dormitory. James swore violently and stormed around the corner.
I might as well try the dungeons, he thought. Maybe I can follow a Slytherin or something.
He had been out of class for nearly twenty minutes. He turned the corner headed towards dungeon five when he ran straight into Remus Lupin.
"Whoa!" gasped James pulling Remus to his feet. "Sorry, mate, didn't see you there." Remus got up brushing himself off and smiled.
"Nah, it's ok. What class are we in?" James looked at Remus.
He looked actually quite good for a day after the full moon. His color was good, and his eyes sparkled. From what he could see, he had no scratches anywhere.
"History of Magic." Said James, perplexed. "You look great." Remus smiled again and said,
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Uh…cuz last night was the full moon and you always come back moody and usually hurt." To James' alarm, Remus laughed.
"Yeah! Weird I know! Anyway, let's get to History of Magic."
They walked in silence for a few minutes, and then James said,
"Hang on. Don't you have Arithmancy with Evans now?" Remus blinked.
"Oh right. I forgot. I completely forgot. See you later." And he headed off. James shook his head completely bewildered. Remus never forgot about classes. He knew their time tables better than anyone. And not one scratch? That was definitely odd. James hadn't seen Remus looking this healthy in…never.
James decided not to go back to History of Magic, so for the next ten minutes, he hung out in the library in the Invisibility Section. When the bell finally rang, he headed off to Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Professor Runion promptly gave them a study hall which everyone embraced happily. The four marauders sat writing their essays on merpeople for Professor Kettleburn. Sirius had looked over Remus' odd behavior and convinced James that he was imagining things. James pushed it to the back of his mind and they continued writing.
The rest of the day went quickly. James was looking forward to another Quidditch practice that night and Sirius was already grumbling about detention.
"You sure you don't want to take the night off, Remus?" he asked. "I could cover for you. I doubt Slughorn would mind."
"No it's ok." Said Remus fiddling with his wand. "I don't mind it. Have fun at Quidditch practice, Potter." And he and Sirius went out of the portrait hole for detention.
"That was the single weirdest thing I have ever seen." Said James picking up his broomstick.
"What?" asked Lily absentmindedly.
"When…" asked James. "has Remus ever called me Potter?" Lily shut her book and frowned.
"I don't know. He certainly looks good doesn't he? I mean, I've never seen him so cheerful after a full moon. He usually doesn't get back until later."
"Yeah." James was frowning.
"Well, you're going to be late for Quidditch, James. Have fun." And Lily resumed her reading. James smiled at her and left the dormitory.
Quidditch practice went considerably better than before. The team was playing very well. The chasers had a new strategy in which all three of them went in a single formation and then did a series of tricky moves to score behind the keeper. Carter Patil was very pleased. Madam Hooch had found a new Snitch and it had more pep than the old one. James enjoyed the challenge.
The Gryffindor team, happy in their excellent practice, got in later than usual. By the time they had returned, Sirius and Remus were back from detention. Sirius was once again, fuming.
"That slime ball Malfoy wasn't there." He snarled. "Maybe he really was sick. He was not in detention and Slughorn didn't seem to know why. Bellatrix said he was sick, and Slughorn took her word for it." He punched a cushion on a chair. "I HATE THOSE SODDING GITS! He's probably off having a good laugh with his evil friends."
"Relax, Sirius." Said Peter. "
"Sorry guys." Sighed Sirius. "You have no idea how TICKED I am with them right now."
"Oh, I think we get it." Said Lily laughing. "Don't worry. You won't be in detention that much longer."
"Oh yeah…only thirty one days!" said Sirius sarcastically. "Just another FREAKING month of this rubbish."
James closed his eyes and sighed. Sirius was never going to get over this. They'd be hearing all about how unfair life was until the very last second of those thirty one days.
He opened his eyes. Someone was entering the portrait hole. Remus stepped through, his bag over his shoulder.
But wait.
That couldn't be right.
Remus was sitting right there next to Lily.
James shook his head, trying to convince himself he was seeing double when everyone else realized it too.
"What the-?' began Sirius.
The Remus who had just entered froze. His eyes wide. He was deathly pale and sick looking. James noticed that he moved slowly as though every step was causing him great pain. He opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out.
The Remus in the chair also looked too shocked for words. Lily sprang to her feet and shrieked. She pointed to both of them who looked equally confused.
"HOW CAN THERE BE…." She cried, pointing her wand from one to the other. "THERE…ARE…TWO…OF…YOU!" she screamed.
No one had an answer to this. Something was happening to the Remus in the chair. He had begun to shake uncontrollably. Peter backed away in horror. James started forward.
Remus' skin began to bubble weirdly. His light brown hair was changing getting lighter. And within seconds...
Lily let out another ear splitting scream.
"YOU!"
Lucious Malfoy was now lying on the floor of the Gryffindor common room. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes shone with terror.
Sirius grabbed him by the scruff of his robes and slammed him against the wall.
"You dirty git!" he hissed. "You've been following us all day! How did you turn into Remus like that?"
"I know how he did it." Said Lily shrilly, her voice higher than usual. "Polyjuice potion! That's what he was getting last night near the Whomping Willow! You need a piece of the person you're changing into for the potion to work!"
Sirius turned back to Malfoy who had still not said anything.
"Why would you want to impersonate Remus?" he roared. Malfoy cowered. "What was your plan?" But Malfoy didn't speak. He didn't seem to be able to.
Suddenly, Malfoy's frame went slack. He fell completely limp in Sirius' grip.
"Has he fainted?" asked Lily nervously.
"I don't think so." Said James. Malfoy had begun to move again, but not normally. He was shaking. His eyes were rolling in his head, and his fingers twisting madly.
"What's happening?" asked Sirius looking worried.
"Polyjuice Potion is only for human transformations." Squeaked Lily. "His body is confused. It doesn't know what to change into!" And she was right. Malfoy's eyebrows were growing at a frightening speed. His hair was changing colors from black to grey to brown and back to blonde. He was making a strange noise, and James saw his teeth lengthening.
"Good Lord." Said James. "It doesn't work for werewolves."
"We've got to get him to the Hospital Wing!" cried Lily. "He could have permanent brain damage if he's not sorted out soon!" Sirius and James looked at each other as though this might not be a horrible price to pay, but Lily made a noise halfway between a scream and a snarl.
So Sirius and James grabbed Malfoy around the shoulders and dragged him to Madam Pomfrey, explaining that they didn't know what had happened to him, but that they found him in their corridor like that.
"One of these days, she's going to ask some questions." Muttered Sirius as he and James left the Hospital Wing.
When they returned, they found Lily talking to the real Remus by the fire. James opened his mouth to speak, but Remus silenced him.
"I don't even want to know. Don't explain." Then he grinned.
Sirius slumped into a chair.
"That was…weird." He said tiredly. "I knew it wasn't you the whole time."
"Why?" asked Remus sounding interested.
"Well…he didn't say anything sarcastic when I talked about the broom cupboard at lunch. You would have hexed me." Remus laughed.
"Yeah probably." He said. "What was he doing in our dormitory anyway? What did he want?"
"I have no idea." Replied James. "Maybe to mess with our Quidditch chances. With any luck, he'll be out of the running. Maybe the potion will addle his brain."
"I'm just glad he didn't do anything serious while he was me." Said Remus. "I wouldn't have known, and things could have gotten nasty. Why me though?" he asked frowning. "If I wanted to mess up Gryffindor I'd impersonate James or Sirius."
"You were the easiest." Said James shrugging. 'He knew you'd be out of classes so we'd believe it was really you. You're pretty quiet. Me and Sirius are too loud and someone would catch on quickly that something wasn't right."
Then Sirius punched the air.
"This is perfect!"
"What is?"
"We've got something on them now! Polyjuice potion is, like, illegal, so all we have to do is threaten them with telling and they won't bother us again! Ha ha!"
"Like blackmail." Said Remus.
"YES!" said Sirius and he did a sort of weird victory dance all around the common room.
"All right." Said Lily with a small smile. "Well, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning." They bade Lily good-night, Sirius still dancing.
"We'd better turn in too." Said Peter. "It's been a big day." The other three nodded and got up. Remus nearly overbalanced as he got to his feet. He gripped the edge of the chair for support. James and Sirius noticed.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, it's fine."
"Well, that's Lupin-speak for I'm in intense amounts of pain and probably can't make it up the stairs. Come on." Remus sighed, and gratefully accepted the help. And so the four marauders went to sleep at last.